When did your girls start dating?

[JennyMominRI]

My DD is 14. She will be 15 in Dec and boys are a fact of life now,although she really is not *dating * yet.. When did your girls and boys start dating, kissiing boys etc. How did you deal with this?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

In the same boat here. 15yoDD has a "boyfriend" back in Missouri.
We kind of take it as it comes. Things are monitored and supervised, no real "dates" yet. We feel she should be driving first, as that will bring on more maturity and responsibility, well mostly. But the main thing is she won't feel obligated or powerless, you know?

Her BF was hugging her and kissed her once. Good thing he is 600 miles away.

 

[JennyMominRI]

In the same boat here. 15yoDD has a "boyfriend" back in Missouri.
We kind of take it as it comes. Things are monitored and supervised, no real "dates" yet. We feel she should be driving first, as that will bring on more maturity and responsibility, well mostly. But the main thing is she won't feel obligated or powerless, you know?

Her BF was hugging her and kissed her once. Good thing he is 600 miles away.

My DD had internet boyfriends that could monitor..I liked that.. They were very far away..Now she can physically touch these boys and it scares the heck out of me. Especially when I know,frst hand the dangers that exist

 

[LiteBrite]

My DD had her first "boyfriend" at 15, although I wouldn't really call their relationship "dating". They mostly just hung out at each other's houses, and it lasted a couple of months. Then the next year she fell hard for her first love. They also started out "not dating", but it had progressed into a fairly serious relationship within a few months. They stayed together for 2 years, then he dumped her just before she turned 18. MAJOR trauma.

We tried to keep a pretty close eye on both these relationships, but DD was a committed Christian (as was the second boy) with her own high moral standards, so she welcomed our input (well mostly ). Hubby also took both boys out to lunch to have a little talk with them early in the process - it pretty much drove the first one away, which was a good thing. The second one was actually really close to our family while it lasted.

DD is coming up on her 19th birthday now, and is getting ready to move into the dorms at the local university she'll be attending this fall. She has a 20 yo boyfriend, and at this point we mostly just have to trust her to work this stuff out on her own. It's not easy to go hands off, but we're trying hard to do so. I figure if we've done our job right, by this point she should be able to make her own decisions, and I think she's handling it pretty well.

 

[singingpixie]

Wow, all of you guys are really lucky- in my school growing up, all the kids were making out in the hallways in middle school! I don't think this is a good thing, but I had my first kiss (and I'm talking real kiss, lasting at least 2 minutes w/ tongue, etc) when I was barely 11- and I was not out of the normal range by any means. Looking back, I think it's ridiculous- but kids are getting into relationships REALLY young nowadays. If my youth was like that in the suburbs in Western NY, I can't imagine what growing up in an urban area is like.

 

[daisyduck123]

Funny this topic should come up now. Just 2 days ago we let DD11 go to dinner & the movies with her "so called boyfriend" & his parents. He lives in our town & they have talked on the phone & computer everyday for a few months now. They call themselves "boyfriend/girlfriend"....besides their "date" 2 days ago, they've actually only seen each other at a bat mitzvah, a swim meet/pizza party, & a get-together at church.

He is 13 & DD will be 12 soon. They are in the same grade but go to different schools. We're happy that most of their communication is electronically. DD is not your typical 11 year old. She's 5'5" & gets mistaken for 15 often. If she had to "fall" for a boy, I'm glad it's this one....I like him & his parents.

 

[princesspumpkin]

I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. DD won't be allowed until then either.

 

[CraftyMouse]

DD14 is not allowed to date yet...but she has a boyfriend. Her DBF15 is a great kid and they have a very strong friendship at the base of their relationship. They've been together a little over a year now. They hang out here, he comes to the movies with us and, occasionally, we have dropped them off at the movies.

When I say that she is not allowed to date I mean that she is not allowed to date at will. She cannot accept a date whenever and with whomever she wants to. Her BF is someone that she became close to and it became something more than friends. He is a great kid and is close to our whole family. If they were to break up she would not be allowed to date until she is 16...unless it was a similar situation to what she has now.

 

[horseshowmom]

DD was 16. While she had "BF's" prior to that, they weren't the dating and kissing kind. She's 19 now and says that she's glad we were "strict" (compared to most of the other girls she knew).

 

[flipturngirl]

I was allowed to start dating at 16. but have not been asked or I have not asked anyone because I am to shy. There are a lot of girls at my school who go out. this one couple is heavy and strong but the show to much PDA. I am going to be a senior next year.. Ahh. sad...I know...

 

[grlpwrd]

My dd is 15 and only now does she "date." She has a boyfriend, but they only go to the movies, mall, and other public places. They are not allowed to be unsupervised or unchaperoned and he is not allowed upstairs in our home. They do IM each other or call on the phone a lot. We take him to Busch Gardens with us or to dinner.

He has a job and is very respectful and responsible.

Just our rules - I am stuck in the 50s. They know what is allowed and appropriate.

 

[Keli]

Our dd knew she couldn't 'date' or have a boyfriend until she was 16 yrs old. She was eager to date though. She had a date lined up for a least two months before her 16th birthday, LOL.

She's been dating ever since but she's only had a few serious boyfriends. When they first start dating you worry so much about so many things but as they get older it's much easier since they start making wiser choices.

 

[zurgswife]

My dd is 15 no BF yet. Her class the past 2 yrs has mostly just hung out...she is friends with a number of boys but no dating or BF stuff yet....Though she is going to a public school next year with a lot large potential base...should be interesting to see if she starts to find a BG then.

 

[SillyMe]

My dd15 has a boyfriend. No interest in boys, then WHAM! She met him and they're inseparable. He's a good kid and treats her well, though.

 

[Disney Doll]

I had my first boyfriend when I was 15. His family was friends with my neighbor's family, and my neighbor's mother highly "recommended" him to my parents as a nice kid coming from a good family and so on, so they let me go on dates with him. He was 17 and drove, so wasn't I all that and more!

Truth be told, he was a nice kid. Funny, lots of fun to be with, very respectful, a very careful driver. He always got me home about 15 minutes before my curfew(which was 11PM), so my parents LOVED him. He lived about 10 minutes away from me, so my guess is that his curfew was also 11PM, but he never told me that! Instead he used to say "If I get you home 15 minutes early, your parents will like me". Always for got to mention that getting me home 15 minutes early would mean that he would also get home in time for his curfew.

We "broke up" as BF/GF after a couple of months, but stayed friends. I actually went to his wedding a few years later...he got married at 21.

All in all, a great first boyfriend experience.

 

[Hercules10]

If I had a daughter she'd be locked up in a tower and a chastity belt with the keys to be released upon my death. Cause I know every little horndawg that showed up would have the same thing on his mind that I did then (and now)...

 

[NMAmy]

DD (15) isn't allowed to "date" until she's 16 but she did have a boyfriend at the end of the last school year. She was only allowed to see him at our house and on outings with Mommy along. I'm not a freak or anything--for example, I took them to the zoo and let them walk around alone while I took pictures. That kind of thing.

Thank heavens she broke up with him this summer--he was really controlling and manipulative with her. I told her this was an example of a "bad" boyfriend and what to avoid when she was dating without her mom around.

 

[tink_n_pooh]

I don't have any kids yet but I started having 'BF' to go to the movies movies with and hang out with when I was 11 or 12. Things progressed quickly around here and by the age of 13 'everyone' had a BF/GF and you could find at least 2 or 3 couples making out in the hallways of the school between any given classes. I don't know if it had anything to do with it but we have only one school for the 7th-12th graders so all the 13 year olds were in the same halls with the 18 year olds, and you know "monkey see monkey do". I really don't think we were that young or that anyone did anything that stupid.

 

[sweet angel]

I had my first "real" boyfriend in at 14. We were together constantly for 9 months.

DS15 has had several girlfriends. His current one is 16 and is not allowed to ANYTHING without parental supervision. They can't even walk to the park or convenience store without supervision. I, personally, think that's a bit overboard, but who am I to judge?

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

I was 15 when I met DH. He was a little older

For high school, I was in boarding school, so there wasn't a whole lot that Mom and Dad could do/say from the peripheral. I think high school seems like a reasonable "place to start." For us, we were always told that we couldn't have a date until high school and that it needed to be group "dates" until Mom and Dad could trust us and the other person.