When did "closure" become a necessity?

[addicted_to_WDW]

I think that way back when people were too busy coping with life to worry about tying everything up in a neat bow at the end of the day. They mourned, of course, but survival was a real and more pressing concern.

We have cushy lives, all of us. We have plenty of time to dwell and have been taught that there is a solution and a reason for everything and gosh darn it we HAVE to know what those things are.

 

[N.Bailey]

To me, closure is equivalent to acceptance. We all need it when we grieve. So, the word irritates you. I don't know, it sounds like you need closure on this issue.

 

[N.Bailey]

Need is a word that now seems to have seriously blurred edges.

I think people are convinced more things are needs than really are.

No one actually needs closure. The more we convince ourselves that we are missing out because we aren't getting what we think we 'need', the more neurotic people are going to become.

Has anyone noticed that people now are constantly talking about how busy they are as if they have more responsibilities than anyone ever did before them and each day is almost insurmountable. Business/scheduling is so emphasized that people are really convinced that they 'have too much on their plate' all of the time. As if 100 years ago people were just sitting around twiddling thumbs.

JMHO

I guess this depends on one's definition of need. If we're simply talking basic needs for survival, you're right, but the human psyche is a bit more complex than that and does require a bit more than only want is needed to sustain life. I'd strongly insist that most of us have a need to grieve after we lost a loved one, or after our hearts were completely ripped from our chests (metaphorically speaking).

Also, I'd imagine if a child got into an argument with a teacher who demanded that the student needs a pencil every day they show up in his/her classroom, more than 1 person would jump in to defend the teacher's position by respond that this was a NEED and not simply a want on the part of the teacher.

 

[goofyernmost]

They drank and smacked the wife around...or popped Vicadin and cried in closed rooms. To actually heal from an experience and move forward in a healthy way, you need to finish it somehow, even if you don't call it closure. Sorry that people are annoying you by telling you to heal yourself...

Or just went on with life, understanding that bad stuff happens and it is a normal thing. Drinking, smacking the wife around, drugs are extreme reactions to lifes events and not indicative of what normally happens. We can give ourselves closure without being formal about it. My wife filed for divorce and when the final hearing was held, I didn't go. Why, because I had already agreed to what was put out there and felt that there was no need for my presence there. You would not believe the number of people that told me I should go for closure. What? My 29 year marriage was over, my house was sold and divided, I was single again...what would attending have done that reality didn't already take care off.

When my parents died, we had the wake and funeral, but, I didn't need that to convince me that they were dead.

I understand when someone disappears and you don't know what happened that it must be tough to deal with and in that case closure may really be needed. As stated by someone before it is just that the phrase has been overused.