When baseball was just a game.....

goofyme

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Joined
Aug 19, 1999
Messages
239
I loved playing ball growing up...i wasn't the best but was coachable. Same with my kids. Winning was great but you still got a coke win or lose(and if you were really daring you ordered the "suicide"-coke, dr.pepper, root beer, mello yellow, etc...-all mixed up in one pretty tasty, if I remember correctly, drink. Of course back then we had the coaches who were great, the coaches who were a little too competitive, the coaches who were awful but they wanted their son to pitch, and the coaches who did it even after their kids grew up. Unfortunately, it seems the latter has disappeared but most of it seems the same...............except for the parents of my generation.
The other night at my son's first game he threw the ball on a grounder to the outfield to second base instead of home. Two parents wondered "out loud" why/ how could he have done that. Luckily, I wasn't there. My wife made sure she said, "Good try!" loud enough so that my son and the idiots both could hear. I arrived soon after and got to see their sons royally screw up several times, but we, as usual, either just don't say anything or yell words of encouragement. These are 9 year olds and not paid professionals. They are trying their best as their talents and 9 year old minds will let them. Heck, you should see me mess up in men's softball.
But my generation, the parents of these young baseball players, are different than my parents. Today, I see "past their prime" athletes and those who never measured up in sports yelling at their kids and, surprisingly, other people's kids because of their mistakes. My parents have a good reputation because they were good people, worked hard, went to church, and raised four kids like God wanted them to do. Today's parents reputation seems to be built on how well their kids do in sports. It is awful seeing the pressure put on these kids because dad is a loser in life and can only redeem himself by his child's athletic performance.
I watch my children's athletic activities like I size up my ballgame. I'm going to mess up a whole lot but I'll hit that one shot that makes me come back for another horrendous round. Our kids will do the same, but if we ride them about their failures, how will they enjoy their success.
The proudest I was of my eldest son was when he was in machine pitch league. His coach was talking to me after the season and told me how proud he was of my son's attitude that year. Ya see, my son struck out more than 20 times before he got his first hit. I think his mom and I were more frustrated than he. But everytime he struck out, he walked back to the dugout with his head held high and in deep thought like he was figuring out what he did wrong. This was in comparison to many other excellent ballplayers who would cry or whine when they got out. But how could you blame them? Mommy and daddy were either walking away from their chairs to show their disgust or actually going up to the dugout to tell them what they did wrong(which is actually the coaches job so sit down parents). And when he got that first hit he was like a madman for the rest of the season. Hit after hit after hit. But it was his struggle that formed his character, not his success.
So parents of today, realize baseball is just a game. It should be a green field, dirt, bats, balls with red seams, leather gloves, and kids. It should not be a testimony of one's worth. Realize that if it wasn't for those "lesser" players you wouldn't have many teams to play, Realize their just little kids wanting a coke after the game and a mom, dad, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandfather, or grandmother telling them they are proud of them. The measure of a man is not how your child competes today, the measure of a man is how your child will raise your grandchildren someday.
 
For the most part, I have to agree. Little League, in particular, stopped being for the kids many years ago. It's all about the parents. I can remember going to see the kids play and could not believe the attitudes and language coming from the parents in the bleachers. Instead of teaching and encouraging the kids, they would berate them for the smallest mistakes.

It's no surprise that the Major Leagues has become more of a business than a sport. I still like baseball, but it isn't the same.

One of the things that always makes me chuckle, with any sport, is when the "experts" loudly claim they know more than the players, coaches, and managers. They sit in front of the TV, usually with a generous supply of beer, and call the pro's stupid. Yup, that's why the pro's are making all that money and these guys are spending the afternoon in a bar!
 
My DS started off with t-ball when he was 5 and then Little League until he was 9. It was a complete nightmare. DS didn't play after he was 9. The parents were the worst. Yelling, screaming, etc. It was ridiculous. DS played for the fun of it. They are only kids. But some parents were off the wall. We got into the playoffs in DS last year. We were doing really well. The last game he played the opposing teams parents were yelling at the umpires saying that we cheated. :confused: That we threw the game.:eek: Hello, these are 8 & 9 year old kids. That's when things got really ugly and DS came off the field asking "why did they think we cheated?"

Needless to say, DS didn't want to play anymore. He plays the drums now instead. I always hoped my kids would be involved in sports, but I don't blame them for not wanting to. I played softball from age 9 - 16 and never once do I remember parents like that at all.
 

My former boss has a son in High School. He plays multiple sports and her and her husband used to make no secret of the fact that they intended for him to eventually go pro (looking ahead to that big signing bonus). One day her husband dropped by (as he would do five days a week) and was talking to her about what kind of punishment they should give him because his batting average had dropped. The husband also mentioned how he intended to go and talk to the coach and give him some advise about how best to use his son on the team. Very sad.
 
I have a DS (age 6) in T-ball/instructional, and so far, so good.

I have a cousin who LOVES sports. He was attending grad school to get his MBA, and was also receiving a full stipend from his company, so he did not have to work while he was getting his MBA. So, he decided to coach a little league team.

There was one game where the opposing coach was cussing and berating his players. Loudly and longly. After the 3rd inning, my cousin decided that his kids did not need to be subjected to this, and that the other REALLY did not need to be subjected to it. He forfeited the game, walked his team off the field, and took them all out for pizza instead.
 
Thanks goofyme. Ya just made a grown man cry. I'll definitely remember your advice, as my oldest DS (almost 6), has just started learning how to roller-blade (will probably be on a roller hockey team in the Fall).

Dave
 
This post makes me cringe.

My son (6) just started coach pitch. He was so nervous and shy that he wouldn't go on the field, we literally sat at the field watching other kids practice. We'd give a him a pep talk, he'd want to go home, we'd stand firm that we made a commitment and that after this year, if he really didn't like it, he did not have to play again. (he thought all the other kids his age knew what they were doing and he'd look "dumb" :rolleyes: )

Just last week after 4 practices, he went out there by himself determined to just have fun after we told him that that was ALL we expected of him, was for him to have fun.

He hit most of the throws, ran some bases, played the outfield and short stop. We were so proud of him for overcoming his fears! He got in the truck after the practice and said "this was the most fun I've ever had!"

I can say at this age anyway, all the parents I've been with have been extremely supportive, not just to their own kids either, I love it. I hope this will be a wonderful experience for all of the kids.

I just don't understand why parents will put pressure on a child while they are playing, which is all it is, just playing a game. It really breaks my heart for those kids. I'm not looking for all star status, just want my children to be involved and feel good about themselves and having fun. It's too bad it's not about that anymore to some.
 
As another baseball season begins, I am reminded of the fabulous article written back in 2000 by SI's Rick Reilly. Here's part of it.....I think every parent should read it.

parents had to sign the code of ethics, which included such pledges as "I will remember that the game is for youth -- not adults" and "I will do my very best to make youth sports fun for my child." Break the code and they're banished from the association's games for as much as a year.

Problem was, that code didn't go nearly far enough. As a poor slob who has coached kids' sports for 10 years and gone to more kids' games than Mr. and Mrs. Osmond combined, I would've made the parents sign this -- in blood:


I'll keep in mind that, in case I hadn't noticed, my kid isn't related to the Griffeys. There's probably no college scholarship on the line, to say nothing of a $116.5 million guaranteed contract with the Cincinnati Reds. In fact, right now my kid is filling the inside of his baseball glove with ants. He looks happy. I'll shut up.

I won't dump my kid out of the Lexus 20 minutes late to practice and then honk the horn when I pick him up 20 minutes early, as though the coach is some kind of hourly nanny service. If my kid has to miss a game, I'll call the day before. It doesn't cost any more to be decent.

I'll remember that this isn't the seventh game of the NBA Finals. This is the 6-year-olds' YMCA Lil' Celtics finals, and by supper time not one of these kids will remember the score. They will remember that I tried to ride the other coach bareback, and possibly they'll remember the incident in the squad car, but not the score.

I'll realize that the guy behind the umpire's mask, whom I've been calling "José Feliciano" and "Coco, the talking ape," is probably just a 15-year-old kid with a tube of Oxy 10 in his pocket, making $12 the hard way. I'll shut up.

I'll stop harrumphing out of the side of my mouth about how much the coach stinks, unless I want to give up my Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays every week, call 15 kids every time it rains and spend $200 every season on ice cream, catcher's throat guards and new seat covers. I'll shut up. (Oh, and once a year, I'll tell her thanks.)

I won't rupture my larynx hollering nonstop directions. For one thing, my kid can't hear me. For two, because I'm shouting, he can't hear the coach, either. For three, I really have no idea what I'm talking about. Screaming at little Justin to "Tag up! Tag up!" when there are two outs is probably not very helpful. I'll shut up.

Win or lose, I won't make the ride home the worst 20 minutes in my kid's life. "You played great" should about cover it every time. Then I'll shut up.

One season a year, even if it kills me, I won't make my kid sign up for an organized sport. It's probably not necessary to have him play 91 hockey games in three leagues from September to June and then send him to Skating Camp, Slap Shot Camp and Orange Pylon Camp all summer. I'll try to remember that Be a Kid Camp isn't so terrible once in a while. Neither is Invent a Game Involving a Taped Sock, a Broom and Old Lady Winslow's Fence Camp, come to think of it.

Most important, I promise I'll do everything in my power, no matter what, to remember to arrive at games with the single most important thing of all ... the orange slices.
 
At our fields they put up huge signs a few years ago that read "Let the Players play, let the Coaches coach, let the Umpires umpire." At our roller hockey rink is a sign reminding parents that the refs are somebody else's kid.

My kids have been in and out of LL for 8 years, and thankfully the obnoxious parents have been the exception to the rule. My youngest just began t-ball, and I've seen nothing but encouragement (and lots of laughter!) from the parents so far. I hope for the kids' sakes that all these parents remember that it's supposed to be fun, even when they start remembering which base to run to and to pay attention to the game instead of the dirt ;) .
 
Great post. I played softball when I was little and my team NEVER won a game but we did have fun and went out for ice cream after every game anyway. We were pathetic
 
SeaShelley: I love that article! I should send it to the league president here in town.

I feel for all you parents with young kids just starting baseball. I hate to say it, but the worst is yet to come. My DS (now 14) has been involved in soccer, basketball and baseball and baseball is by far the most political. Out of every single one of his friends who he began his baseball "career" with, he is the ONLY ONE still playing. Granted some of these kids played because their parents wanted them to, but some of these kids genuinely loved the game, but had had such bad coaching experiences, which included spending entire seasons on the bench, that they gave up. To me, IMHO, that is so sad and such a poor reflection on the sport itself. My son learned, at an early age, that being the better player doesn't necessarily mean you get to play--a lesson I had hoped he could learn much later in life. But alas, he loves the game of baseball and has met kids from all over town and learned many of life's lessons. He continues to play season after season. It has, despite the "heartache", made him a better player.

Good luck to you all with young kids and let them know your love is always unconditional.:D
 
My DS is having to take the rest of the season off due to several factors but after watching practices here in the new league I'm not at all upset.

Last season it was fun, all the parents were supportive - the kids had a great time, it was about them learning the game. This season (coach pitch) it was all about "the game" scolding kids, yelling - DS was miserable.

This league also has team sponsors for all of the teams from T-Ball on up, that bugs me. We paid the same amount last year for our son to play in a different league and they didn't have sponsors - instead of the name of a local shop/business they had their names on the uniform. :sad2:

We're looking into new sports for him, baseball isn't his thing anyway. :bored:
 
Both my DS's played baseball but only until 4th grade. That year for each was awful! The coaches and other players were just too competitive. My kids just wanted to have fun playing. If anyone made a mistake, they got yelled at and benched. On a funny note, they asked my DH to umpire a game. There was a close play at home where the runner was a kid from my son's team. From where I was standing it was close but clear to me and everyone else I was sitting with that the runner was safe. DH was standing behind the pitcher and did not have a good view. He asked the coach standing behind home what he thought but he refused to say. DH yells "Out!" Oh boy, did that cause a big to do! Some of the players refused to even look at DH for the rest of the season. To this day, the kid he called out will remind him of it. It was 5 years ago! They have to get over it sometime! Kids need to have fun playing sports.
 
goofyme, that is exactly why my husband is a coach on my son's team. He wants the kids to have fun.

Lori
 
What a great thread. ITA.

So far, so good for us. When the kids were really little playing soccer, the parents were wonderful. Instead of forfeiting a game because not enough players showed up, they would "loan" a player to the other team. ::yes:: Kindergarteners just want to play; they're not interested in winning. These parents were so supportive, they would say to a kid on the OTHER team, "Honey! Sweetie! Your goal is that way! That way!" ::yes::

DH has refereed AYSO soccer for every level through U12. It definitely gets more competitive as they get older, but obnoxiousness doesn't seem to be the norm, thank goodness. I think it's a great tribute to DH's objectiveness that at the end of season pizza party, several of DS' teammates asked DS if that was his dad?!?!?! It was really cute.

DD had a fantastic coach for two years in a row. The second year, in U12, there was a mom that was unbelievably cruel to everybody. She probably thought she was being supportive, but she just wouldn't be quiet at all and criticized everything and everybody loudly. The coach finally walked over to her and said something very quietly in her ear. She looked stunned and left. After the game, we asked him what in the world he said. I don't remember the exact wording now, but it was something close to, "You're hurting this team with your comments and you're embarassing your daughter. Go home. I'll drop your daughter off at your house after the game." :teeth: Sometimes I wish I had the guts to say something like that! :smooth: I'm surprised she left AND I'm surprised that she'd let him take her daughter home, but they lived close to each other and the daughters played together sometimes. BTW, the mom was fine for the rest of the season. She still came, was much quieter and much more supportive. Can you imagine how many moms would have pulled their daughter off the team? She probably knew she wasn't likely to find a better coach!
 
This is my 12 yr.old DS's second year of playing ball(he played 2 years ago)and I'm waiting to see how it goes. His coach is fine, really tries to not go overboard even when the kids are making him crazy and making mistakes(very often!),it's just some of the other teams (and even some of the kids on his own team!) that can be not so nice.
A couple of teams we play play like they're trying out for the pro's! Nasty chants directed at our players,about 6 coaches on the team and I can only imagine the hours that these kids have to practice!I give them credit for being a very good team, but come on...can't it just be fun?I wish they would all just encourage each other and have fun instead of jumping all over someone's mistake and making them feel so bad.Thankfully it's a fairly short season!
 
My son has played baseball for over 3 years now, spring and fall. He loves it. We are very fortunate to play for a league that enforces good behavior by all. Their mission statement is posted on their web page.

Mission Statement:

To build positive childhood memories from sports.
To boost the players' self esteem.
To provide a stimulating and fun recreational experience.
To encourage giving your best effort.
To understand the value of teamwork, fair play, and respect of other players regardless of abilities.
To install the values of good sportsmanship.
To lose without excuses and to win without boasting.
To improve players' baseball skills and instruct them in the rules of the game.

GOOD LUCK THIS YEAR AND HAVE FUN!

Unfortunately, we play other leagues that do not subscribe to the same belief. I blame this on the coaches. Players will "chatter" and call the other team names, "strike out loser!", coaches yanking their players off the bases in anger, cursing, changing the rules, it's horrible. I also fault the parents, who in some cases are not just as bad but actually tolerate this behavior. :mad:
 
We do have players and parents who do not take the committment to play seriously enough. I know, it is just a game, but we have some players (7 year old league, BTW) who just goof off during the game. They play in the field and throwing dirt, throwing the ball AT the runner, climbing the dugout fence or throwing equipment in the dugout, knocking down their own teammate and wrestling the ball away from them during a play, and those who consistently and nonchalantly show late up for every game. :rolleyes: Most parents sit there oblivious to the destruction their child is doing or the fact they they could get hurt or hurt another player. At this age there are some big boys who can smack a ball hard and I have seen a few players (and coaches pitching) get nailed. Most players were just not simply not paying attention and goofing off.

Here is my big pet peeve, not showing up at all or not calling to say they can't make it. Now, I can understand an emergency, but we later get excuses like "Tommy had a birthday party to go to", "Johnny didn't feel like playing today", "My husband is out of town and I didn't feel like having to watch the baby at the game", etc. Sometimes we don't get excuses at all. :( My favorite was the mom who yelled out to her son in the field with 20 minutes left in the game, "Let's go honey, mommie has a nail appointment."

Why is this so bad? We only have 10 players. We have to have 8 players to play. If we don't have 8 players at the start of game time, we forfeit and NO ONE gets to play. Is that fair to the team?
 














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