What's your problem?

[lovin diz]

dont know if this one was mentioned yet, but....


Hi boss, will i be fired if i rewire the elevator and make it NOT STOP on the second floor while going down??

Lady--you seem very healthy and young..It will not kill you to walk down 1 floor...

 

[iwrbnd]

Dear neighborhood moms, my home is not free childcare and I'm not here to raise your children!

Dear neighborhook kids, if you're hungry go home. My home is not your personal grocery store and I'm not a short order cook!

Ahhhh, now that one felt really good to get off my chest!I easily get 10-15 kids at my house throughout the day and I've wanted to say that sooo many times!

 

[kaytieeldr]

dont know if this one was mentioned yet, but....


Hi boss, will i be fired if i rewire the elevator and make it NOT STOP on the second floor while going down??

Lady--you seem very healthy and young..It will not kill you to walk down 1 floor...

Dear Mall Health Club Member - do you REALLY need to drive around the parking lot for twenty minutes, scoping out the absolute CLOSEST parking space to the club's entrance? I bet I can save you hundreds of dollars a year - park in the first available space you see and WALK TO THE HEALTH CLUB!

 

[Motherofboys]

Dear oncoming 4-way stop person who has the legal right-of-way and is still trying to direct me to turn left in front of you before you proceed through the intersection:

No, I'm not going to move. Yes, I do have all day. No, I don't take orders from you. I'm well aware of the laws regarding 4-way stops. If you want to feel good about doing some good deed for someone today, why don't you actually do something that takes time and energy and volunteer at a homeless shelter instead of waving madly at me to move my car illegally?

AND

Dear blankety-blank, friggety-fraggin' driver who decides they're going to be a good samaritan during rush hour by letting a car from the Wendy's parking lot pull out into our lane when we've all been backed up for four minutes waiting for the light that has a 10 seconds green followed by a 120 second red:

I really hope when you get home your karma has given you a daughter who's pregnant, a wife who is leaving you, a son who just got arrested for drugs and a car that's about to blow it's engine. There's nothing "good" about being nice to one person and totally ignoring the 15-20 people behind you.

Especially since the Wendy's person only took the exit onto our street because there were two cars waiting to turn right from the other exit and they didn't want to wait.

There. I feel better.

Apparently we frequent the same 4 way stops! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets ticked when some middle aged guy is telling me that I need to go when it's not my frickin turn! I know the rules of the road, thank you, and I don't need you to tell me when to go!

And even though you might think you are being *nice* by letting me go when it is not my turn, who's going to get the ticket if there is an accident? Who's in charge of her vehicle??? ME!

 

[JimmyPicker]

Dear WalMart ATM user:

Yes, I think it's cool that you can get money orders from the ATM machine.

And I know you just got your tax refund back and are just trying to get caught up on your bills.

But do you really have to make the person behind you, who just wants a quick $40 to take her kids to the pizza place, wait for 20 minutes?

I'm not exaggerating. I timed you while you printed out 14 money orders.

Not that I care that you had to print out 14 money orders, but you could have at least looked at the person behind you and said, "Sorry, I'm going to be a while" so they could hit a different ATM on the way to the pizza place.

Or maybe, I dunno, out of the kindness of your heart, not do 14 transactions in a row and take a break, letting someone else use the machine for 30 seconds.

 

[WriteDisney]

Dear coworker,

Close your mouth while you chew food (and especially gum), not only is it completely unprofessional, its incredibly distracting. Oh, and you shouldn't EVER lick a knife to clean it, but especially not at work in front of all fellow employees.

 

[thebigkahuna]

I realize you are late. The reason I know this is because you are behind me, looking at your watch, stamping your feet and huffing.
This will NOT cause me to hurry through my transaction. In fact I will s l o w my pace, have a nice conversation with the cashier & ask a few extra questions.
If you are in that much of a hurry, you should have either left earlier, or picked another line to wait in.


PS, get out of my personal space while doing the above!!! And dont be surprised and or annoyed when you get bumped into.....you are 3 inches away from me!!!!

 

[NHdisneylover]

Dear undecisize people--If there is a line to order food PLEASE use the time you are waiting to decide what you want and discuss this among yourselves rather than waitign for your turn to begin to look at the menu. It will speed up the process for all of us

 

[ChristaDeVil]

Dear Rude Co-worker,
Thanks for confronting me in the cafeteria to tell me I had screwed up. Not only did you try to humiliate me in front of 5 of my peers, but I couldn't defend myself because I was out of my office. That little smirk you used when you told me that I was wrong was just the icing on the cake.
Thanks, Me

P.S. Oh, by the way, I checked those facts when I got back to the office and...I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!! YOU WERE WRONG!!!!!!!!!

 

[focusondisney]

A YIELD sign and a STOP sign are not interchangeable. See - they are different shapes and even different colors! Do not roll through your stop sign when I have the right of way and then flip me the bird as you come to a screeching halt. Nor should you stop at the yield sign when there's nobody else around! Do you not like your back bumper? Do you want me to rearrange it for you?

I don't think anyone knows the difference! Drivers around here are constantly stopping at the yield signs in the mall & shopping plaza. Really annoying because traffic coming into the mall then gets all backed up. And when you are stopped at the stop sign, waiting for them to come into the mall, they WAVE you on! Arrgghhh! Just GO already!

 

[focusondisney]

Here's another favorite of mine: to the shopper in front of me. Yes, you will eventually have to pay. Could you even THINK about getting your wallet, money or credit card ready before you get the total? Better yet, don't. I love standing behind you, killing time. After all, I'm not in the short order lane to save time or anything!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Dear counter service restaurant worker. I'm sorry, I do not frequent your establishment often enough to know your menu by heart. I am standing far back from the "order here" sign in order to look at the menu, read items to my child and decide before wasting your time. Please stop wasting mine by asking me every 5 seconds if I'm ready to order yet. I told the person who walked in behind me to go ahead of me, just take her darn order first!

 

[lovin diz]

To the cashier who wouldnt sell dh his smokeless tobacco, because I did not have my drivers liscense (he did)....I can tell you smoke, so i hope one day you go through the same crap that you gave me today....karma baby!!!

That is all!

 

[Katieinwonderland]

Grrr, I have one...

Dear man in front of me at Target

I'm in a hurry...hence the express checkout lane. I understand you get half your stuff rung up and decide you forgot something. I even understand that you say you need to run and get it, even though I'm sort of annoyed. But what I dont understand is why it takes you 15 minutes (no exaggeration) to find what you needed.

Ah, I see why it took you so long. You also 'remembered' SEVEN other things you needed and went on a hunt to find all of them!!!!! Which, BTW, puts you over the ten items allowed in this line.

As the icing on the cake, thank you for deciding you need to use up all your change and counting out 78 cents in nickels and pennies. By now I have ground my teeth into grit and steam is coming out of my ears.

Thank you so much

 

[etoiles]

Dear Idiot on the Road:

I know it really annoyed you that I was going exactly the speed limit in an area that is regularly watched by cops. I could tell by the swerving and tailgating that going the speed limit was not your thing.

After deciding that tailgating was not fixing the issue, I see you used your problem solving skills by deciding to cross TWO solid yellow lines into the lane of oncoming traffic to swerve around me. I'm sure you felt very smart pulling to a stop at that red light with me 5 feet behind you. At the next light I'm sure you continued to feel smart as well as I stay stuck the 5 feet you gained behind you. Oh, if only your grand plan had worked at the third light where I deftly moved into the additional lane that opened and flipped you the bird as I passed you by. I have no idea why you looked so shocked at my actions!

My apologies for being so rude.

 

[DisneyDizzy]

Dear Landlord,

I'm 6 months pregnant and due in July. Coming home from the doctor and finding a "For Sale" sign in the yard was a shock. We've NEVER been late a single day and have treated this house as a home. I understand your need and right to sell the house. But, a little notice would have been nice. Especially since the Realtor told us you'd like to sell the house empty and are "kindly" letting us out of our lease. Of course we can legally stay until the end of the lease on July 1. Did I mention I'm 6 months pregnant? I'm due July 15. I have let your Realtor and STRANGERS in to go through my closets and cupboards for two days. I have left the house both times they asked to show it. I think you could have at LEAST have given us a heads up that you were taking our money and NOT paying your mortgage.

I'm tired of YOUR bill collectors knocking on the door anyway. You obviously suck.

 

[OceanAnnie]

To Whom It May Concern: Please don't put words in my mouth. Thank you.

 

[kaytieeldr]

To Whom It May Concern: Please don't put words in my mouth. Thank you.

So, what you're actually saying is...

 

[OceanAnnie]

So, what you're actually saying is...

 

[kaytieeldr]

Well, come on - you know I couldn't resist!