What's the funnies/most unbelieveable lie your child ever tried to get past you?

[bumbershoot]

Not exactly a lie, about 12 years ago.


My 6 year old girl: "Daddy can I ride my bike?'

Me: "NO! not until you clean your room"

My 6 year old girl: "ok"

five minutes later I find her outside riding HER BROTHERS bike.

So she's 18 now...any thoughts on law school, with her ability to use words THAT specifically?

 

[Carl]

It sounds like the lady was trying to score some premium annual passes from Disney. "Your CM stole my annual passes." Once Disney decided to investigate whether or not she was a true pass holder, she ran for the hills.

What a nut case.

I hate that! Just think - if Disney didn't have a way to keep track of the APs, that rotten woman could have cost that nice CM his job, just so she could steal some APs.

 

[missypie]

When DS17 was in Kindergarten, he forgot to have some school form signed, so he "forged" my husband's signature on the form...you can imagine the printing of a kindergartener on the signature line!

 

[mamacatnv]

My daughter told her kindergarten teacher that our family doesn't believe in math.

That is a good one!
DS told his K teacher he saw us having sex everyday! She took us aside, that was an interesting conversation he thought kissing was sex, so not really a lie

He's almost 19, I'm hoping he still thinks kissing is sex

 

[tazdev3225]

DD was the best. When my kids were small my DH and I went away every August for a softball tournament. My DD was about 4 when we dropped her off at my parents house on a Friday night not planning on picking her up until Sunday late in the afternoon. DD was also a very picky eater. My mom was feeding the kids dinner, spaghetti which DD hated and she knew that her grandmom would make her eat it. She looked up at my mom and told her that she wasn't allowed to eat it. Her mom told her she was never allowed to eat at grandmom's again. She insisted that I told her she was not allowed to eat at my parents for the 3 days. Needless to say she ate every meal and was punished with no dessert for her little lie.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

The other day, I was putting things away in DS's bathroom. I hear a noise from the kitchen so I go to investigate.

He is standing on the pot I use to make spaghetti with his hand in the sugar bowl.

Me: DS, are you eating that sugar?
He turns around, with sugar all over his mouth and on one hand.
DS: No..da cat did it!

Yeah right.

 

[Fizzgig]

3 year old Fiona and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV one morning. I smelled something awful and asked her if she had pooted. She denied it and said, "Daddy pooted!!!"

"Daddy" was at work! I called him up to take him for task for his long distance poots (Fiona insisted) and he proudly said, "That's my girl!"

 

[bumbershoot]

3 year old Fiona and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV one morning. I smelled something awful and asked her if she had pooted. She denied it and said, "Daddy pooted!!!"

"Daddy" was at work! I called him up to take him for task for his long distance poots (Fiona insisted) and he proudly said, "That's my girl!"

DH and I coudln't think of anything specific that DS has lied about (he has done the most OBVIOUS lies), but you've reminded me. At 3 DS did the same thing in the same context...blamed a father who was at work an hour away!

 

[Villian's Wife]

In our family my brother 22 is the reigning champ of this. The best example I can think of is when he was freshman in high school. He was in Spanish class and the teacher took them to the computer lab to do some internet research. My brother and his friends were goofing off instead of signing on and working. The teacher came over and asked my brother why he wasn't on the computer. He told her, "I'm a Mexican Jew and my religion doesn't allow me to use the internet." The kicker was she looked at him and said "Oh, OK. I'm sorry I didn't know." and left him alone for the rest of the class period. She wasn't being facetious either, she actually believed him.

Please don't think I'm defaming any religion or ethnicity. This is just what popped out of his mouth.

 

[Fizzgig]

DH and I coudln't think of anything specific that DS has lied about (he has done the most OBVIOUS lies), but you've reminded me. At 3 DS did the same thing in the same context...blamed a father who was at work an hour away!

Must be a phase!

She even made an Old MacDonald verse for him:
...
And on this farm, he had a DADDY! E-I-E-I-O!
And the Daddy said Poot! Poot!
Everywhere a poot poot! E-I-E-I-O!!!
....

=======
And yes, she came up with this herself... I suggested that the "Mommy" verse had "Spend! Spend!" (instead of "Poot!") to DH and he fell out laughing, nodding his head in agreement. Turncoat.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

When my youngest son Jeremy was about three, he took a cup of juice into the living room and spilled it on the carpet. I walked into the room and said "what happened?" He said "Matthew (his oldest brother who was at school) ran home really, really fast to get himself a drink and he spilled it on the carpet and then he ran back to school really, really fast so the teacher didn't even know he was gone."

To this day (he's 23 now) if he does something wrong or messes something up, we'll say "I know, Matthew ran really, really fast..."

Teresa

 

[elizke]

They didn't exactly tell a lie, but I happened to spot this hanging on the wall. Gee I could hardly tell!

 

[CraftyMouse]

When DD was about 9 she came downstairs one morning with no eyelashes! Well, she had eyelashes, but they were little stubs of lashes...the remainder was gone. Before I could ask her what had happened she told me that she woke up with the cat sitting right next to her head. She said that the cat had chewed off her eyelashes!

But that's not the worst part. The worst part is that I actually believed her! The story was just so bizarre that I thought it was beyond the scope of her tall tale telling abilities. Our cats have done some pretty strange things, including playing with our eyelashes when we blink, so I thought that she was telling the truth! It was only a year or two later when I realized that she had lied to me.

I'd like to say that that's the last time she lied to me, but I'd be lying! It's definitely the biggest and best though.

 

[skuttle]

DS is only 5, but already we can tell that he will be a handful! LOL!

For some reason, for a while, DS would always lie about falling asleep during a car ride, a movie, etc. We're not sure why, but when he would wake up, we'd ask if he took a nap and he always would say no. So one time I found him asleep in his room, in his chair with his head hanging back, while watching Star Wars. I decided to take some pictures because it was so funny.

When he woke up, he walked into the living room. I asked him if he took a nap and he said no. I asked him several times if he was sure he didn't take a nap, and every time his response was no. So then I pulled out the camera and showed him the pictures I had taken of him asleep. Without hesitation and a serious expression on his face, he says, "That's not me." LOL!

 

[mirmartinez]

When my oldest was 4, he went to Montessori school. One afternoon I went to pick him up and the teacher pulled me aside and asked if my son was adopted. I said no and asked why. She told me he told her that DH and I were his “new family”, when prompted by teacher why we were new, he stated “My old family and dog died in a twister in Texas”.
I asked my son about it and he tried to convince me that I had adopted him. A few weeks later DH went to pick him up, our son pointed at his dad and started screaming “THAT’S NOT MY DADDY, THAT’S NOT MY DADDY” Another parent grabbed DH and told someone to call the cops. The teacher explained to the other parent that DH was his DAD.
After these two incidents, I sat him down and asked why he did not think we were his parents. His reply was he knew we were but “Twister” is a good movie and he did not want a brother (his brother was 2 months old)

 

[Goobergal99]

Well not my daughter... but my Dh lied to his parents about my being with DD pregnant until I was delivering her....... Granted he was 18, not quite a kid but still... pretty big lie

 

[mirmartinez]

They didn't exactly tell a lie, but I happened to spot this hanging on the wall. Gee I could hardly tell!