What's a "successful life"?

[goofyernmost]

I told the story (partially) about my worst time in life. My wife left me with no warning and only a note that read "I have gone". My daughter told me that she told her it was because she just didn't want to be married anymore. Over the previous two years both my daughters got married and left the nest, a good thing but a major adjustment. I had to close my business because of policy change from the groups that I relied on for clients, I had to file bankruptcy because of unpaid business debt and my wife's over use of credit cards (this before she left) that I didn't even know she had along with the new car leaving me with a beater, but it worked ok and I had a job that the word hate cannot even begin to describe. Plus it was winter and I hate winter!

It was unarguably the lowest point in my life. I didn't know how I would ever have gotten through it, but I did and come out the other side in a much better place. Sometimes the best we can do is just wait it out and put some effort in making some necessary changes in lifestyle and priorities and the sun will once again come out.

 

[lisaviolet]

Well I have most definitely had failures, so hard to even think about what is successful or not. Such a basket full of contradictions. Honestly I am beginning to think as the road to success in life as simply learning through life, while on the earth. But I have great respect for people that are successful in more traditional manners.

I have also been around people as they are dying, and it is interesting where most minds go. It has been at times excruciating to watch people ruminate on regrets, sorrows and worries over palliative time. Sometimes about things that no one else is even carrying. And that includes those who are overjoyed to see their maker and non-believers.

So grace has become a big word for me lately. Grace for others and grace for ourselves, which is often more difficult.

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And really sometimes those who think they are successful have little ability to look at their own ways, effect on other and faults.

Guess I need to get back to the grace drawing board. Laughing. Loudly.

 

[karen4546]

While I think being loved and being happy are important aspects of life, I don't think they are how I would define "success". In my mind, to be successful requires having certain core values and intentionally working toward accomplishing something.

To me, success is making deliberate choices that cause your life to reflect what is most important to you.

Because we all have different values, success is different for each person and our definition of success will (hopefully) change over the course of your life as you grow or as you're exposed to different environments or cultural expectations. If someone values prestige and expensive goods, then their idea of success is going to be completely different than someone who values human connection and empathy. Someone who believes generosity to be extremely important may define their success by how much they are able to give, but someone who values creativity and originality may define success by what artistic legacy they leave behind.


It certainly is subjective. Throughout my life, I think people have tended to describe me as successful despite being a teen mom but I believe that most of my successes and positive attributes are actually because of my situation not in spite of it. For both my spouse and I, our education, our marriage, our financial stability, our parenting, our empathy and ability to relate to different types of people, etc. are all directly influenced by the fact that I had a baby in high school. It was not an embarrassing "mistake" that had to be overcome; it was a motivating presence that impacted who we are as people and all of the life choices that followed.

I recognize that your post was made in a joking way, but the sentiment is true for a larger segment of the population than I think most people realize. Having two now adult daughters myself, it's absolutely bizarre to me how many people define their own success as a parent by their child's sexuality.

I’m not sure where you got where I equate a person’s sexuality as success.

I have four adult children. They make THEIR choices as ADULTS.

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