What?

[klacey1]

I saw what, and I am far from a rude person. I'd guess "Beg your pardon?" would probably be "politer", but I never judge anyone for saying "what" to me.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I don't know if I'd change dentists, but I do feel he had no business correcting/questioning the young patient.

Did he, though? I don't recall the OP saying the dentist corrected the patient, but maybe I missed that part. I thought she worked at the front desk, overheard it and just came here to complain. So likely, the family doesn't know how rude the OP thinks they are.

But if the dentist, or the front desk staff, corrected my child or complained about such a non-issue, yes, that would sour me on the practice, as well.

 

[trip]

Did he, though? I don't recall the OP saying the dentist corrected the patient, but maybe I missed that part. I thought she worked at the front desk, overheard it and just came here to complain. So likely, the family doesn't know how rude the OP thinks they are.

But if the dentist, or the front desk staff, corrected my child or complained about such a non-issue, yes, that would sour me on the practice, as well.

Sorry - I went back and read the first post and saw that it was the op who was questioning the reply "what".

 

[castmemberb4]

Yes, of course. Only YOU are allowed to complain

About a child who was in the dentist's chair, nonetheless

With all due respect, I don't see how it could have turned out any differently. The OP was was phrased more as a put-down than a question of manners.

Why?

WHAT? and in this case it's used properly. My OP was not a complaint or put down it was a question. Notice the question mark. I simply noticed that this kid used "what" and asked what happened to "sir?" Meaning does anyone use it any more.

I don't know if I'd change dentists, but I do feel he had no business correcting/questioning the young patient.

The Dr DID NOT correct/question that kid just repeated the question.

You guys have created many senerios that never existed.

 

[ilovejack02]

As been said many times , sir or mam is a southern thing.

Southern girl here, but I do not drill into my child's head to use Sir or Mam. I encourage it, but have seen a few friends lose their minds when their children don't use it and I refuse to be that silly about the situation.

It is all about tone and as long as he doesn't respond with huh I am happy.

He is pretty good about using Yes sir/ no sir but it is ok if he slips up at times, I use it with people older than me/ my parents, lead by example I always say.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

WHAT? and in this case it's used properly. My OP was not a complaint or put down it was a question. Notice the question mark. I simply noticed that this kid used "what" and asked what happened to "sir?" Meaning does anyone use it any more.

Well, in my circles, the proper way to simply wonder about the use of a specific term would be something along the lines of "I noticed a child say 'what?' to the dentist. I was taught to use the term 'sir?' Does anyone else use 'sir?', or is 'what' also considered an acceptable query?"

The abrupt sentences in your OP do not get "tone" across very well. As a true lady , I certainly gave your OP the benefit of the doubt, but the disapproving tone came through quite clearly when it was quickly followed by comments like

"what" is never the proper response for a child to use toward an adult, when they miss what ever the adult just said.
I was taught "Sir?" is correct.

You Mother sounds exactly like mine a true lady.

and

I'm headed back to the theme park board where the happy people are

 

[starrzone]

I work for a dentist and just over heard an 11 year old respond to the Doctors question with "What?"
What happened to "Sir?"

We were taught by my mother that "what" and "huh" were rude to say, and that the appropriate response if you didn't hear someone was to say "pardon" or "excuse me", so I can see where you are coming from. Of course, my mother would also give me the evil eye if I slurped my soup or made slurping noises when drinking from a straw, and I do both of those things now on a fairly regular basis!

 

[MnParrothead]

What?

 

[AKL_Megs]

I always say, "What was that?"

If I asked someone something, and they responded with, "Ma'am?" I would want to know what THEY wanted!

You only say, "Sir/Ma'am" around here when you want to get someone's attention!

 

[JessicaR]

I always say, "What was that?"

If I asked someone something, and they responded with, "Ma'am?" I would want to know what THEY wanted!

You only say, "Sir/Ma'am" around here when you want to get someone's attention!

And around here when you're pulled over for something.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

If he mumbled "huh" it is rude but asking "what" or "excuse me" is fine to me.

Answering yes sir or no ma'am is still pretty common around here but I have never heard "sir" if you don't understand a question or you misheard what was said.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

In addition to being a regional thing, cultures change over time. Wasn't using "Sir?" as a way of saying I didn't hear you more from the time when people thought children should be seen and not heard?

 

[stashbin]

I was taught to use sir/mam when answering questions from an adult by my parents. My kids also say the same and if they don't, I correct them. Because we live in the South, this is expected (by those raised in the South). Now my MIL was raised in NY and she thinks that me making my kids say sir and mam is dumb. But to each his own ya know? I think it sounds more respectful because that is how I was raised. But I am not going to go off on someone who doesn't agree with me.

 

[stashbin]

In addition to being a regional thing, cultures change over time. Wasn't using "Sir?" as a way of saying I didn't hear you more from the time when people thought children should be seen and not heard?

I don't think so. I know lots of folks who allow their kids to sit up under the adults and listen to adult talk who still require them to say sir/mam.

 

[CathrynRose]

I just thought that I use "What, now?" as well as "I'm sorry - what?"

No sir, or ma'am.....

 

[PaulaSB12]

I think the real question here is something I've always wondered. Why are dentists so darned chatty anyway? Every dentist I've ever been to asks non dental questions when I'm not really in a position to reply. So, in the interest of brevity, I've been known to say, "What?"

I agree on that one, they have their hands in your mouth cleaning your teath or putting a filling in and suddenly they want to chat!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Luv2Scrap]

I don't think so. I know lots of folks who allow their kids to sit up under the adults and listen to adult talk who still require them to say sir/mam.

To clarify a bit, I was specifically meaning the use of "Sir?" as a way of saying "What?"

I get that teaching a child to say yes sir/ma'am, etc. is still widely done. But to use it in the form that the OP is referring to is much less common, and I think it's a combination of both different regions and culture change over time within a region.

 

[OK!]

I've always said "I'm sorry?" if I couldn't hear someone.

 

[sbell111]

if he mumbled "huh" it is rude but asking "what" or "excuse me" is fine to me.

Answering yes sir or no ma'am is still pretty common around here but i have never heard "sir" if you don't understand a question or you misheard what was said.

+1

 

[SunshineOR]

This has to be a regional thing. People would think my kids were weird if they said Sir and Ma'am to everyone where we live out here in the West.

Personally, I get wanting kids to be respectful, but I gave up on the formalities with my kids. I tried to teach them to call all adults by Mr. and Mrs. So and so instead of by first names, but 99% of adults corrected them and said, "Please don't call me that! Call me (first name)". I know some of you would say I should have forced my kids to call them by last name anyway, but my kids were just getting confused and I didn't want to teach them to not call people by what they want to be called. They call teachers and people in positions of authority by last name, but other adults in their lives are usually referred to by first name because the adults requested it or we lost track somewhere along the way of who wanted first name and who wanted last name and just went for first name because most people wanted it that way.

I figured I'd focus on making sure my kids behaved and were polite and respectful and stop worrying about formalities. Some of you think I'm not a lady and a horrible mother. However, while my 11-year-old would probably say "what?" if she didn't hear you, she would be respectful and polite and I would hate to think you'd judge her or me harshly based on a one word response.