What Would Your Reaction Be?

[ICF]

Didnt read all 12 pages, but I agree with the husband.

My neighbor's wife has the same issue....her car window was busted in a week ago to get the purse that she left sitting on it, while she ran into a store.

Yes, it was probably a dirty trick that the husband played...and the OP has a right to be pissed....but she was told repeatedly that leaving your purse in the car (usually unlocked) was a dumb thing to do when it's setting in your driveway.

Better to be pissed at the husband, rather than having to deal with a real theft and the damage that could be done if it were to occur.

Of course, if the OP would just have not kept leaving her purse sitting in an unlocked car....this wouldnt have even been issue.

 

[bdcp]

I think OP's husband was right. I don't get the mentality behind leaving a purse in a car, ever. We always park in the garage but I bring my purse in and out with me everytime I leave/return home. Heck, I work in a fenced in secure site and lock my car there and bring my purse into work. I don't get the excuse of being "absent minded" or whatever. It's personal responsibility.

It is not smart to leave a purse in a car. No one has the "right" to take anyone's stuff, but the fact is, people do. It still amazes me at how many women I see grocery shopping with their purse in their cart and they walk away.

People do things like that when their kids are irresponsible so why shouldn't a spouse do the same? Obviously the OP hadn't learned this lesson yet.

 

[Jedana]

Ohhhh man, he was in trial!!!

I do understand about the worst part having to be for DH to find out.

DH is not one that has much patience with that kind of thing!
He is one of those where things don't happen to him very often at all.

I am remembering, however, the ONE TIME where he must have been having some kind of very rare 'absent minded' kind of day... He locked his keys in his vehicle... Had to get that taken care of... and then a short time later, he did it AGAIN!!!! OMG... he never, ever, does stuff like that.

My DH used to lock his keys in the car on a regular basis (well, before we got a car with automatic door locks---it was at least every other month).

He's lost his wallet in the car. It was in a bag in the backseat, as he was traveling and tossed it in there. Went to get gas and couldn't find it---called me in a panic. I had cancelled 2 credit cards and was heading to the bank to cancel his debit card when he found it----tucked between the seat and back. Guess it fell out of the bag.

I've left my wallet in buggies before (twice--the first time I remembered before I left the parking lot, and the buggy guy had it. The 2nd time, I made it home, went back up to the store and found the wallet, sans credit cards and cash, sitting in the buggy.

I also had it stolen out of a car--a rental, no less. Two days before, I had been in a car accident and had a rental. Took DS to daycare (heading to work) and while I was in the daycare--less than 2 minutes--someone smashed the window and took my wallet from under the seat, along with my $25 cell phone. The person used my debit card in 4 places before the police arrived, and while I was on the phone with the bank, it was used again. I got all the money back, but it was such a pain in the behind.

There was a news story here a week or so ago about a rash of break-ins. Not car break-ins, but garages. Seems the bad guys would smash a small window panel on the garage door and use a coat hanger to get the emergency door cord. Gain access to the garage, cars and even the house (apparently no one locks the door between the garage and house). So, I guess around here, even leaving your purse in the car in the garage isn't safe.

 

[Luv2Run]

Yep, I am still with the husband...
And, while the OP seems to be trying to be understanding and admitting to things that might contribute to her absent-mindedness.... This is still nothing but playing down and 'explaining', and excuses for repeatedly doing something that should just never be done.

I had immediately, in fact, thought of ADHD and things like being on the autism spectrum when reading about such incredible irresponsibility. But, even when one might be affected by such things, there comes a time when there is deliberate irresponsibility, just always using these conditions as an excuse.

I mean, "Hey, I forgot and left my new sunglasses somewhere." Or, "I forgot to double check that the car was locked." might be one thing.
But, hey, I am irresponsible and not motivated enough to safeguard my purse and to continually leave it outside, unlocked... over and over and over... That is completely different. That is not a mistake or a misjudgment. That has now become deliberate....

The OP was wrong...
Her husband tried to remind her and warn her...
She ignored him.

I am quite sure that he would have told her right away if she had called or texted him. She went thru the day that way because she was going thru great lengths to try to NOT have to admit to him what had happened.

To the bolded: Precisely. You shouldn't have to spend that much time covering your tracks. Act like a child, you get treated like one. Plain and simple.

 

[Andtototoo]

Yep, I am still with the husband...
And, while the OP seems to be trying to be understanding and admitting to things that might contribute to her absent-mindedness.... This is still nothing but playing down and 'explaining', and excuses for repeatedly doing something that should just never be done.

I had immediately, in fact, thought of ADHD and things like being on the autism spectrum when reading about such incredible irresponsibility. But, even when one might be affected by such things, there comes a time when there is deliberate irresponsibility, just always using these conditions as an excuse.

I mean, "Hey, I forgot and left my new sunglasses somewhere." Or, "I forgot to double check that the car was locked." might be one thing.
But, hey, I am irresponsible and not motivated enough to safeguard my purse and to continually leave it outside, unlocked... over and over and over... That is completely different. That is not a mistake or a misjudgment. That has now become deliberate....

.

I agree. I will be the first to admit that, for whatever reason, I have trouble remembering:

1. My keys and phone
2. People's birthdays/anniversaries.

These are MY issues, but they also can have a negative impact on others. So I realized I had to do something to compensate for this lack in my nature. With my keys, I forced myself to get in the habit of alwaysalwaysalways putting my keys on a hook in the front closet. For my phone, I forced myself to get in the habit of alwaysalwaysalways putting it on the table in the entry. For the important dates, I have a ritual on January 1, of going through last year's wall calendar and putting the dates in the new calendar.

Yes, those compensatory mechanisms require me to think and take action, but as an adult that's part of the gig.

 

[Stitchfans]

I'm on his side, think you should count your blessings that it wasn't taken and learn the lesson You know what a hassle/identity theft etc that could have involved ? and you had the T-Ball funddraising $ in your care too ?? No no sympathy from me

Only read up to here and agree with this person.

 

[Maggie Lizer]

I think it was kind of a jerk move on his part, actually. I think he could have just locked your car doors and let you find the car locked but the purse safe inside.

I do not leave anything of value in my car, but if I thought my purse or wallet was stolen, I'd try my darndest to find it before bringing the issue to my husband's attention. I don't think of that as "covering my tracks" but rather "cleaning up my own mess."

 

[mom2rtk]

I think it was kind of a jerk move on his part, actually. I think he could have just locked your car doors and let you find the car locked but the purse safe inside.

I do not leave anything of value in my car, but if I thought my purse or wallet was stolen, I'd try my darndest to find it before bringing the issue to my husband's attention. I don't think of that as "covering my tracks" but rather "cleaning up my own mess."

And the next day? And the next? Does he check it and lock it again and again? He already tried the easy stuff like reminding her how important it is. He needed to get her attention.

 

[Luv2Run]

I know that my SO would never in good conscience just leave my purse out in the open in a locked car. That would teach nothing. Not to mention the fact that it's still on display screaming "Steal me!". The only difference between it being stolen from an unlocked car and a locked car, is a broken window or door lock.

 

[LilyWDW]

No idea what my reaction would be because it would never happen to me as I am smart enough not to leave my purse in an unlocked car.