What Would Your Reaction Be?

[graciebrow]

I wouldn't be so upset with him since he's been after you to take the precaution of at least locking your car with your purse in it - in my world, I wouldn't even consider leaving my purse in the car whether it's locked or not. There are way too any scenarios of what can go wrong if someone gets your credit cards and i.d.s - think you had a rough day running all over thinking it was stolen but you haven't seen anything compared to what you would be doing to replace all those things. A cranky 3 year old can get even crankier standing in line with Mom at the DMV while she's getting her license replaced.

 

[Jex]

Personally I would have thrown it in the trash, that would teach you.

 

[Disfan1]

I was a VERY naïve country girl when I married DH who was a city boy. After we married, I moved from the tiny community where I was raised to a suburb of Atlanta where DH grew up. I NEVER locked anything because we just didn't NEED to do that it my hometown. DH would nag me about locking the house, locking the car, locking this, locking that blah blah blah but it just didn't sink in. One day I was home by myself while DH was at work (with the doors to the house unlocked) when a guy in a ski mask bursts through the door and yelled "I'm going to steal everything you own!!" It only took a couple of whacks with a baseball bat for the guy to take off his mask to reveal DH trying to teach me a lesson. He learned a lesson that day too - this country girl can take care of herself. I keep everything locked up now just to be on the safe side too!

 

[Disney Doll]

I say it's your business if you want to leave your purse in your car. If it gets stolen, that's your responsibility. You deal with the consequences. I'm not on DH's side at all. This is something you may do to teach a child a lesson, and even then it is mean.

Really? So you are presuming that she lives in the house by herself o that someone gaining accessto her home if her keys were in her purse or if they could get into her garage and consequently her house by using the garage door opener in the ULOCKED car. And there would be the expense of changing the locks which, unless her and her husband's finances were TOTALLY separate would fall on both of them. And the time and aggravation spent cancelling credit cards etc., not to mention the daage that could be done to their finances in a very short period of time if credit cards got into the wrong hands. Sorry, but everyone who lives in th ehouse could have been negatively impacted by her actions. She should feel fortunate that nothing bad every happened.

I don't care how "safe" you feel your town is. There are crazy bad people everywhere.

 

[Disney Doll]

I don't agree, if it was a female who did it, i would still the same thing.

I don't think it was a teaching monent. I am not big into a dynamic of where my SO would treat me like a child but still want to do adult stuff, but that is just me.

Ad I wouldn't be into a dynamic where my SO could act like a child by being careless with my financial and personal seurity, and that of my family, and absent-minded....2 sides to every coin.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

I have to side with your husband on this issue. Leaving your purse in the car is very foolish. Sorry to be so hard on you, but the consequences when it is really stolen are very serious and inconvenient.

 

[usd2bmd]

I think O can understand why your SO did what he did. I probably would have been upset at first, but understood why he did it and make the effort to not leave something so important and valuable in an unlocked car.

 

[si-am]

Op, in all honesty how do you manage in every day life if you're so absent minded that you can't bring in your purse and lock your car?

This. I think the husband did what he felt he needed to do. Trying to talk about it didn't seem to work.

 

[StitchFanZ]

I see your DHs point, but think he handled it in a very childish manner.

Better for both of you to understand that you need help remembering. When I go somewhere, I always leave my keys in my purse or attached to my purse. I know that I can't drive without my keys so the easiest way to remember my purse is to attach it to the keys. Otherwise, I know I would leave it somewhere. Or perhaps you need a wrist bracelet for your keys that is attached to the purse. Once you get in the habit of slipping on the bracelet as part of starting the car then its gets easy to remember to bring in the purse because it is attached to you!

I totally get the absent minded needing a routine to help you remember.My DH has learned when things get busy I mentally start moving things up so I can check them off my list. I have sent him to things like kids dentist appointments a few days or even a week early. He now knows to check first for himself on those things. At that time I worked an amazing job with a really good income so he learned to help rather than cause problems with childish responses.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

So you don't find it a bigger concern that a mother would put her child in the car and not make sure she had her purse WITH her that had her driver's license in it? Really? You think the bigger issue is that her husband took her purse? So it would be perfectly fine to be in an accident with no id if she had just left it at home because she's "absent-minded"?

Her purse was in the car until her husband removed it. (Hence the bolded part of her OP where she stated why she leaves the purse in her car in the first place.)

The concern for the accident would be in the event she was unable to speak for herself or her child. In the end, husband rocked the boat.

We will just have to agree to disagree. I'm grateful that my husband doesn't treat me like a 3yo nor I him.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

What he accomplished IS relevant. As I said, IMO, in this case, the ends justify the means.

She wasn't willing to respect DH's concerns about something that could cause them BOTH a lot of grief. She wasn't willing to call DH and say her purse was missing (at which point, he might own up, so she wouldn't have gone all day worrying).

We will just have to agree to disagree.

 

[CT Yankee]

Op, in all honesty how do you manage in every day life if you're so absent minded that you can't bring in your purse and lock your car?



I have often found that the people I know who call themselves "absent minded" are frankly just too lazy to deal with the responsibilities of every day adulthood. Go through a mental inventory of necessary items (purse, wallet, keys, phone) each time you leave the house or car, or make a list or put up post-it notes if that's what it takes. Time to put on the big girl clothes.

 

[Tink888]

While you're livid now, imagine the slow burn DH must have been doing watching you day after day being so completely reckless with the security of your car, your family finances, even your home (since I assume you keep a garage opener in your unlocked car) after constant pleas on his part not to.

Sometimes being on the wrong end of such disrespectful actions leads folks to do something disrespectful as well. Two wrongs don't make a right. But, you did start it. So, try to keep that in mind.

This

I don't know where you live but growing up where I grew up the idea of leaving a purse alone even for a minute is beyond my realm of thought....

If I were you I'd be thrilled he taught you a lesson instead of having to deal with the NIGHTMARE of losing a purse...something that happened to me ONCE and I hope never happens again. Mine was stolen and what I had to do to close all those accts and replace everything was more work than you can imagine.

Consider yourself lucky~

And this

I'm on your DH's side on this one. It sounds like he tried telling you and it fell on deaf ears. Leaving it in your car is asking for it to be stolen and all that locking the car doors will do is add a broken car window along with a stolen purse. Would I be mad? Sure, but after I cooled down I'd realize that I had that coming and I'd remember to bring my purse in the house with me.

 

[Disneychick75]

OP, you should be glad that no one else took your purse. Leaving it in the car is very irresponsible. Your husband should have brought your purse into the house. You're both wrong.

 

[NewRVLady]

So your keys and cell phone aren't in your purse?
That seems very odd
I always have a receipt or something I have to deal with at night in my purse

 

[aprilgail2]

Op, in all honesty how do you manage in every day life if you're so absent minded that you can't bring in your purse and lock your car?



I have often found that the people I know who call themselves "absent minded" are frankly just too lazy to deal with the responsibilities of every day adulthood. Go through a mental inventory of necessary items (purse, wallet, keys, phone) each time you leave the house or car, or make a list or put up post-it notes if that's what it takes. Time to put on the big girl clothes.

 

[Aliceacc]

How about just keeping your keys in your purse? You won't be able to drive anywhere without it.

 

[Katelly]

I think what your dh did was way over the top. I would be beyond livid if I had gone through the whole day believing my purse had been lost or stolen calling cc companies and driving around with a small child. He put you through a lot of trauma just to teach you a lesson and to prove himself right. What if you had gotten into an accident with your small child in the car while you were frantically trying to find your purse?

These were my thoughts exactly. The husband put his wife in a situation where she was driving around with a small child, retracing her steps, on a useless trip. I'm sure she was worrying about the purse and wasn't concentrating 100% on safe driving.

My dh parks his car on the street all the time and leaves his doors open and sometimes he leaves the windows wide open, with his briefcase and wallet inside. I've told him he should park in the driveway or at least lock his car. There is NO WAY I would teach him a lesson by taking (actually, "stealing" is more like it) his stuff out of the car and sending him on a wild goose chase to find it.

 

[Sugardimples]

You are an adult and need to stop using the excuse that you are "absent minded". I'm with your husband on this one. Grow up.

 

[mom2rtk]

How about just keeping your keys in your purse? You won't be able to drive anywhere without it.

If "forgetting" the purse and leaving it in the car, I don't get why this wasn't the FIRST step in fixing the problem. Sort of makes me think the OP didn't really intend to fix the problem.