It is sad though. Meeting the wife, you would Have never known what the husband was up to. Maybe the wife has no choice but to deal with that mess.
Everyone has a choice. Some choices are difficult, others not so much, but there is always a choice.
Am I the only one who would at least want to see the Dad since I and my DD liked the little girl and the Mom so much?
I would not. For me, it is not one parent vs the other. In the case of a family, they are kind of intertwined. I would never tell a preschooler that a child came from a "bad" family, or that the Mom is "safe" however stay away from the Dad, but I would shield my child in every way that I could. For me, that would me no play dates at that house, and no social interactions with the family. The kids could play in the play ground or in school, and as they grew older if they were still friendly, I would discuss the ideology with my child. Hopefully I would have the relationship with my child that would encourage a discussion that would lead to how her friends in general talk.
Because that is way ahead of where the kids are now, I would simply keep a distance and let tomorrow be my guide.
It's not rocket science, have you not ever had an uncomfortable conversation before? I would be direct, like "Hey...those flags you have in the garage. Do you know what they represent? Why do you have them? I want our kids to be friends but I can't condone a friendship if these are your beliefs." Then listen to what they say. You know, like human adults should be capable of doing.
I am not at all sure I would bring that up, however if one of them asked why we were always busy or unavailable I would be honest. I would tell them I saw the signs, find them abhorrent and that I felt the need to keep a distance from that kind of potential problem.
Personally, for me, I do not judge anyone based on any difference in beliefs.
I judge people on whether they treat others with respect.
I judge people on whether they think it is okay to expect everyone else to feel and believe exactly as they do.
I am very comfortable judging someone on what their belief structure is, and I don't give a pass to someone if their religion is the reason behind a believe I find reprehensible. They can believe what they want, but I do not need to respect it or condone it and I sure can judge it. I am not going to act on it by saying or doing something that is equally abhorrent, but there is no way I will respect a person whose core values are polar opposite of what I am comfortable with. It has been my experience that someone who believes in the supremacy of any one gender, race or religion generally acts on those beliefs in one way or another. I do not associate with those people.
Then we agree - earlier you said that I can not say that someone's faith is wrong, now you agree that I can. Thank you.
I'll say over and over that everyone has the right to their own beliefs, and I'll say for maybe the 5th, 6th time that I don't have to respect those beliefs.
And I do get to decide it - there is right, and there is wrong. Discrimination is wrong.
I think I understand what you are saying and I agree. I watched the Jim Jones documentary again a few nights ago. I remember that time vividly. He fully believed he was right, and that he was following his religion, and used those beliefs to justify inhumane treatment of others. This was way before he got those people to ingest his personal brand of koolade. People get that kind of power because others "respect" their beliefs. Perhaps not to that extent, but in many ways "respecting" is "condoning" and I cannot participate in that. I may not act on how I feel other than to refuse to socialize, or to refuse to give them a platform to discuss anything with me.
I am not talking about the future, I am talking about her now. Even children can be very aware and discriminating themselves, we've all seen news stories about such children and likely know some ourselves, too. So she may well see the world from a different lens than her parents do. I am sad for her that most people would shun her. Poor kid (if this is real).
What ever happened to, "It takes a village"?
It does take a village in a way. It is possible to restrict how your own child interacts with other children without bruising the kids. My children had friends whose homes they were not allowed to visit. Period. As they got older we had age appropriate discussion why they could have their friends over but they could not go there. I think we usually forget how intuitive children really are. The kids whose homes were off limits really knew why, so they did explore that discussion