What would you do? UPDATED

[believe]

SIL is coming over for dinner. I know from my MIL that my SIL has gone into individual's homes and blew out their candles without asking. She has done this to my MIL, but she has never said anything. SIL has never told me or DH that she does not like candles or that it makes her allergies act up. I'm really not sure why she blows them out. Everyone should know my now what a big candle person shep is, as well as myself. Our candles are lit, like we would normally for guest. Would you blow the candles out before she came? Would you light them and if she blew them out ask her about it? Would you go behind her and re-light them? Would you just not say anything? FYI...SIL has a habit of not asking for anything and just doing what she wants. Example, brings her laptop to MIL and ties up for phone line for hours. MIL has never been asked if this was fine with her.

*************UPDATE**************
They just left. SIL didn't do anything till after being here over 2 hrs. She is smooth about it though. Several had used the restroom and then when I looked the candle in the restroom was out. I did relight it. At this point the candles in the other rooms were still lit. DH, FIL, MIL and SIL were playing cards so I layed on the couch and watched the kids play gamecube...I did doze a little. When they left I asked DH if he blew the bathroom candle out, he said, "no". I then asked if he blew the kitchen candles out, he said, "no". I thought since it was the end of the night he was the one that blew the kitchen candles out. She must have done this when he wasn't looking. Now she was here for over 2 hrs and didn't blow any candles out until I was laying on the couch, if it bothered her allergies wouldn't it have bothered them sooner...?
If she would tell me the candles bothered her allergies I would have no issues with blowing out the candles.

Atleast she didn't bring her laptop

 

[babar]

Well, I would still light my candles, and if I caught her blowing them out, I would walk right over and ask her why is she doing that? If she has a good reason, then I'd say okay, and blow out the candles. If she does not have a good reason, I'd say it's my house and I choose to have candles lit, please don't do that again.

I'm assuming she must have a good reason, or she's got a lot of nerve!!

 

[Beauty]

Hummm thats a hard one. Do you have a good relationship with her? If so I would jokingly ask her (If she does) why she blew your candles out. I don't think I would make a big deal out of it or go behind her and relight them just to keep fricktion out of it. But I think I would ask.

Now the laptop and tying up the phone line would make me angry. That I think I would have to say something about.

Good luck.

 

[Saffron]

First, I would laugh because people doing things like that just amaze me.

Then, I would re-light the candle while I was asking her why she blew it out! If it was because she has allergies, well then I could she why she would want them extinguished, but I can't see why she would do that without saying something about it firt.

If it's because she doesn't like candles or because she felt like doing it, I would just relight them and not say anything more to her about it.

 

[minniecarousel]

Does she think they're a fire hazard? My Mom won't give candles as gifts for that reason.
I would go ahead & light them. Deal with it if she blows them out. (If she says it's allergies, I think you'd be obligated to keep them not lit.)
Nervy though - she shouldn't do that - she should ask her host to extinguish them!

 

[JC2]

I would be tempted to say "look at that - the crazy candle went out" - and then I'd relight it.
Now what I feel like doing and what I actually do are often two totally different things. I'm not confrontational at all. Sooo, I'd probably just ignore the whole thing if she blows them out.

Let us know what happens!

 

[shep]

Let the games begin..

 

[Princess Michelle]

If I caught someone blowing my candles out I'd be asking them why they did it, if they had no valid excuse then I'd re-light them. If they said the smell made them feel bad or bothered their allergies then I'd say something like, "You could have asked me to blow them out". Regardless of the reason that is just plain rude to go into someone elses house and mess with their stuff.

 

[shep]

Still noone here yet..
They said 3:30-4:00(Mom & dad usually arrive 10 minutes early)...No call or anything...We could've been doing other things had we known they were going to be this late..

Hope everything is alright..

 

[kdibattista]

I would definitely relight them behind her!!! That is very rude behavior and the least she can do is ask you first!!!

 

[Serena]

I'd light the candles and say something when she blew them out.

 

[Beauty]

Michelle when I come to your house I'm going to mess with all your stuff!!!!!!

 

[vickyBaby]

Maybe she has a phobia? Someone who repeatedly blows out candles must have a problem with it. I could deal with that. But tying up your phone line with their laptop? That is rude.

 

[Pembo]

In SIL's allergies defense---My mom has a candle that she can't even leave out in the room when I'm there, unlit! Unfortunately the aromas of almost all candles set my nose a-twitchin'.

Now what would I do if I went to my s-i-l's house and need the candle blown out? I'd ask nicely stating the odor is bothering my allergies. I wouldn't just blow it out!

Can't wait to hear how this turns out..........

 

[shep]

I had to laugh...Mom was using the restroom and Cassie went in there with her and told her how bad it smelled.. and asked if she could wipe.... ...My mom was cracking up so much she had tears in her eyes...

 

[kejoda]

LOL Shep!

 

[shep]

My nephews got here and were running around like they were wild....Too calm them down I turned on the Super Nintendo, and then when they had enough of that, it was gamecube time....Mandy cleaned up the floor with them on Super Smash Bros Melee and the adults played dominoes and I cleaned up...

 

[kejoda]

Boys are wild Shep just wait until next weekend. I can't tell you how many people tell me that they are worn out just by watching them.

 

[shep]

I don't know if i could handle having boys....
I'm spoiled with 2 girls....

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by believe
SIL is coming over for dinner. I know from my MIL that my SIL has gone into individual's homes and blew out their candles without asking. Would you just not say anything?

Hmmm well I am an upfront person so I would pick up the phone call her and ask if the candles bothered her. As a host you are supposed to make your guests feel comfortable. But then again I don't like second guessing and playing games...too tired.

I am happy you guys had a good time.