What would you do? This is awkward!

[PizzieDuster]

Maybe you should report it.

 

[PizzieDuster]

I guess I am one of the few in the minority here because I would have no problem meeting up with a person I met through Disney. In fact I have done it many times at Disney, in Hilton Head, here in the Dallas area. As long as you are meeting up in a public place.

And for goodness sake if you are that worried about someone showing up at your house:

1 Get an alarm
2 Get a dog
3 Get a gun
4 put your home title in a trust name so someone can't look up where you live.

With all due respect, my cousin had 1 through 3. She was 3 months pregnant when she opened her front door to her stepdaughter's exboyfriend who stabbed my cousin to death. Stepdaughter survived by playing dead. I'm pretty much worried about someone showing up at my house who I DON'T know that well... And #4 - incorrect. And I have 1 through 3 and the correct 4 and through in some 5 through 25. Be safe my DIS friends.

 

[ggthatsme]

"Def follow your gut...if its telling you something is off, it most likely is..."

Totally agree with this, however, there may a cultural difference involved as well. Yes, asking for that information is against Disney policy. Period. Just keep in mind he may have just been really excited to already know someone where he was going and he might have something new to bring to the table for his girlfriend. We have friends from India, and I had only met the husband once when he told me he was going to carry my daughter off to India with him. Kidding of course and he dearly loves her, but a comment like that was very off-putting with so little familiarity.

 

[pxlbarrel]

Weird.... especially since this wasn't a server you had spent all week with either. At least with them, you've got a week to assess them. I mean, some of our servers, I wouldn't hesitate to meet up with...but a random server? Ehhhhh... maybe not.

Just weird...

 

[sue]

kcashner, is it really a violation? Wow...definitely report it! Stop it now, before something tragic may happen.

I TOTALLY agree. I would report it to DCL immediately. This whole thing just seems wrong on all levels. How many other families is he doing this to.

 

[DisneyOHFan]

I would have no problem telling him you have no interest in meeting up with him and he needs to stop calling or you will report him to DCL. That is just freaky especially since he wasn't your main server.

 

[lorenni]

I agree with those who point out that this may be cultural, and that He may just be excited to know someone where he is going. That said I would also follow my gut and not meet up with him. Being busy is a great excuse. Better yet, just don't return the call.

 

[AmandaRG]

Def follow your gut...if its telling you something is off, it most likely is...I have always been skeptical of people wanting to become best friends before you even know their name....

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

Exactly!

We have exchanged info with servers, but they were OUR regular servers, and one we have sailed with three times. If he ever comes to the US, we would love to see him, as we truly adore him. However, this is after many days sailing together, not just one random meal!

Hope he can take the hint (although if it is a cultural thing, it might not happen easily) and enjoy his time and stay busy with other things.

 

[cla517]

I agree with those who point out that this may be cultural, and that He may just be excited to know someone where he is going. That said I would also follow my gut and not meet up with him. Being busy is a great excuse. Better yet, just don't return the call.

This. But, if he knows how to use the internet, he could easily find you. If you are listed in the telephone directory all he has to do is go to anywho.com and do a "reverse lookup" on your phone number. Boom. Name and address.

 

[crashbb]

I highly doubt he is some killer (there have to be easier ways to kill a family then become a server on a DCL cruise, get their phone number, travel across the country, and get them to invite you to their house), but, it does seem strange. I wouldn't have given my phone number to someone who had been my server for a single meal (well, I'd be unlikely to give my number to someone who had been my server for the entire cruise either, to be honest).

 

[Rogillio]

Don't see an issue. How is this any different than meeting someone at work or church or some other event at home who wants to "get together"?

If he calls and wants to meet and you don't want to meet, tell him no. Or if you can't bring yourself to tell someone 'no' then offer to meet him for coffee or drinks or dinner. If he invites himself to your home, just say, "Can't do that but we can meet for coffee at Starbucks"

 

[mamita]

I live in the D.R so I can tell you that most people here are very friendly. I suspect this boy probably is from a small town. people from town will talk to anyone and welcome people into their homes even if they have nothing to serve them. that being said, of course there are people who steal and are up to no good but this sounds to me like he just got overly friendly and has not learned that americans are far away from what people are like here. just brush him off and don't worry so much!

 

[mrsklamc]

Don't see an issue. How is this any different than meeting someone at work or church or some other event at home who wants to "get together"?

Because work and church are within our society's norms for places to meet people. It is unusual for most people to 'get together' with a member of the cruise staff they only met one time.

 

[dallastxcpa]

With all due respect, my cousin had 1 through 3. She was 3 months pregnant when she opened her front door to her stepdaughter's exboyfriend who stabbed my cousin to death. Stepdaughter survived by playing dead. I'm pretty much worried about someone showing up at my house who I DON'T know that well... And #4 - incorrect. And I have 1 through 3 and the correct 4 and through in some 5 through 25. Be safe my DIS friends.

I am truely sorry that you have known someone that was in such a tragic experience. However, there is a difference here as you stated that your cousin opened the door. And she was assaulted by someone she knew.

Here are some statistics about murder:

In 14% of all murders, the victim and the offender were strangers.
Spouses and family members made up about 15% of all victims.


About one-third of the victims were acquaintances of the assailant.


The victim/offender relationship was undetermined in over one-third of homicides.

Found here at the Bureau of Justice Statistics:

http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/homicide/relationship.cfm

Also, I see you are in California so maybe real estate title laws are different there but here in Texas what I stated works also if you wouldn't mind sharing the information that you have so others can protect themselves.

So:

1. Have an alarm - and don't open the door
2. Have a dog
3. Have a gun
4. If in Texas put your title in a trust name
5. - 25. TO BE PROVIDED BY PizzieDuster

 

[sdKT]

wow paranoia runs high here

i would just not pick up the phone. most phones u can see whos calling.
yes its a cultural thing. i wouldnt report it to Disney. he probably really was trying to be nice. dont pick up and be busy. and calm down

 

[myfamilyluvs2cruise]

I really appreciate everyone's thoughts. I will say that when we met him, it felt a little weird- as if he was trying WAY too hard. He was at our table every 2 minutes, and we were trying to make a plan for day and were interrupted constantly. I am wary of people that try to overly ingratiate themselves too quickly and wonder is there something they want?

The poster who is from the DR defintiely made me feel better- thank you! I am hoping it is just a cultural thing. I would never want to hurt a nice person's feelings- but safety always has to be first.

The biggest question in my mind is why does he want to see us or connect? He doesn't even really know our names. We made very little connection on a personal level- we just smiled at his tricks and laughed at his jokes. For all he knows, we might be the creepers - LOL I wonder if perhaps he was attracted to my 15 year old (who looks older). Or, I wonder if his "girlfriend" was just someone he met on the ship who did the same thing we did and gave him her information and number. Maybe he wants to connect with us as a back-up for a place to stay if that doesn't work out. Or, maybe it really is totally innocent- and he is just a person who is very friendly. All we know about him is his first name and that he is 27 years old and from the DR- and makes cool disney hats out of napkins. That is it. Not exactly yet the foundation for trust of any sort.

Either way, I think am going to take most of the advice given here and not return the phone calls. It just doesn't feel right. We are unbelievably busy right now anyway- so being "busy" is a very legitimate excuse if he does call again.

Are we the only ones who have had this happen? And, I realize to some of you that I am making a big deal out of nothing. But your perspectives have been very helpful- as I wondered if this was a typical Disney Cruise thing- and much like the FE's- I just hadn't heard of before.

 

[Rogillio]

Because work and church are within our society's norms for places to meet people. It is unusual for most people to 'get together' with a member of the cruise staff they only met one time.

So are you saying 'societal norm' is not to socialize or mingle with the "help"? I that is one's opinion then you don't give out your phone number in the first place.

Personally, I don't care where I meet someone....

 

[HollandmillerFamily]

The poster who is from the DR defintiely made me feel better- thank you! I am hoping it is just a cultural thing. I would never want to hurt a nice person's feelings- but safety always has to be first.

Me, too! Honestly, that was probably the most helpful advice out there.

Definitely do what you're most comfortable with. I would only suggest that you let him know you're busy instead of not answering the phone. You don't want to waste his time, too, if he keeps trying to reach you.

Glad you got some reassuring advice and good luck!

PS--Three cruises and no, this has never happened to us.

 

[Momma2Jax]

wow paranoia runs high here

i would just not pick up the phone. most phones u can see whos calling.
yes its a cultural thing. i wouldnt report it to Disney. he probably really was trying to be nice. dont pick up and be busy. and calm down

I think that most of us don't actually think this guy is going to kill anyone... But I think it does cross a boundary that a lot of us are uncomfortable with. I am sure he was very well meaning, and just super friendly... But it is still weird to most of us.

 

[Twinprincesses]

I have seen on here a few times where people want to keep in touch with the staff. I know that some people really bond with the staff but I like to keep a level of professionalism there.

I think to each their own but I personally would not meet them.