What would you do? (Regarding splitting cabin cost)

[CalDisneyMomof2]

Unfortunately, she's not willing to pay $1,300 for her own cabin nor $1,000 to stay with my child. I offered her this as a third option and she liked it. I was feeling sorry for her because I told her that my mom sounded interested in joining her and splitting a cabin and thus making her total about $650. So she got pretty excited about that. But my mom said she doesn't have the money and can't go.

@yeahdisney I thought about that. But I thought, is it fair for our family (my husband and myself mostly) to stay in a room now with less space with the added person and pay the same? If she were struggling financially I would undoubtedly pick up her tab but she's better off than we are right now. We're only taking this cruise because we had $2,500 in Disney funds (gift cards and DVA) leftover from our cruise from a couple of weeks ago. It straight out paid for our aspect of the cruise. It isn't really a vacation we budgeted for for all other aspects. It's feasible but we're not in the position to pay more for someone who is better off financially than ourselves to join us.

 

[Sunnywho]

This doesn't seem like that big of a difference in money (her share is somewhere between $650 and $718), maybe the issue is not about the money. You have every right to not bring your mother-in-law into a crowded cabin if you don't want to. You say you don't mind but also that you were feeling sorry for her when you made the offer and that it's not financially fair to your own family and that she is better off financially than you.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

What a kind hearted Son!

Two things I would check before sharing same cabin:

Does anybody snore? Does anyone need a markedly cooler or warmer cabin?

I have two connecting cabins booked next cruise because Florida living Grandma requires cabin to be 74 degrees or warmer and that temperatures is uncomfortable for rest of group.

Snoring greatly improved for me and Grandma since we started taking allergy medicine daily.

 

[kymom99]

Have you considered booking 2 cabins and dividing the total cost 2/3 and 1/3? I know it's your money but it's really bonus money you are using for your part. What do the numbers look like if you do that? You could book your son in the other room but he doesn't have to stay there

 

[CalDisneyMomof2]

This doesn't seem like that big of a difference in money (her share is somewhere between $650 and $718), maybe the issue is not about the money. You have every right to not bring your mother-in-law into a crowded cabin if you don't want to. You say you don't mind but also that you were feeling sorry for her when you made the offer and that it's not financially fair to your own family and that she is better off financially than you.

It is actually a big difference in cost in that her cost is *actually* just an added $396 plus fees (so approximately $470) AND increases our fare since we have to go up a couple categories for a room that fits 5.

I really don't mind her coming. We've done it many times before. Yes, she is better off than we are in terms of her income and costs than ours. But that doesn't mean she isn't frugal - in which she is. I wouldn't WANT her to spend $1,300/ $1,000 on a 3 night cruise. And only because it's 3 nights am I willing to have her in our room - I was getting tired of my kids in our room after a few nights If we were doing a longer cruise I don't think I'd have her in our room.

What a kind hearted Son!

Two things I would check before sharing same cabin:

Does anybody snore? Does anyone need a markedly cooler or warmer cabin?

I have two connecting cabins booked next cruise because Florida living Grandma requires cabin to be 74 degrees or warmer and that temperatures is uncomfortable for rest of group.

Snoring greatly improved for me and Grandma since we started taking allergy medicine daily.

Nobody snores And nobody has a preference in temperature but those are great points that I'm sure many don't think about!

 

[CalDisneyMomof2]

Have you considered booking 2 cabins and dividing the total cost 2/3 and 1/3? I know it's your money but it's really bonus money you are using for your part. What do the numbers look like if you do that? You could book your son in the other room but he doesn't have to stay there

It is bonus money. However, we do still have to pay for flights, hotel, car rental, parking and excursions. So I'm trying to do it as frugally as possible in other aspects. Booking two cabins would add an extra $500 into the mix. Which to me is a lot of money. If gift card churning weren't dead, I'd churn my heart out to get the two cabins

 

[Sagginit]

If you can afford it I would split the cost not covered by your credit 3 ways rather than just the fee you are paying to add her. I think that is fair as you are saying you had to upgrade the cabin to fit her in but not charging her the max just because.

These sorts of things arise with my in-laws as my husband's parents can't afford a lot of extras as they are on a fixed income. I realized to keep the peace I just let my husband agree to split everything 50/50 even if I think my SIL might be booking a hotel that's too expensive or ordering too much food when we are at dinner. It feels like a loss at times but I just have to let go.

 

[CalDisneyMomof2]

If you can afford it I would split the cost not covered by your credit 3 ways rather than just the fee you are paying to add her. I think that is fair as you are saying you had to upgrade the cabin to fit her in but not charging her the max just because.

These sorts of things arise with my in-laws as my husband's parents can't afford a lot of extras as they are on a fixed income. I realized to keep the peace I just let my husband agree to split everything 50/50 even if I think my SIL might be booking a hotel that's too expensive or ordering too much food when we are at dinner. It feels like a loss at times but I just have to let go.

The credit is money I/we paid for in actuality. Our excursion was cancelled so we never got to do it - so in essence it isn't just FREE money. We would certainly not be doing this cruise (maybe a short trip that is driving distance i.e. San Diego, Phoenix for Spring Training, the Bay, Las Vegas etc.) if the original excursion we booked weren't cancelled. I'm looking at the cost of this cruise as if the money is coming out of our pocket because it did

My MIL had made a comment to my SIL not too long ago that she wished we (as in my DH and myself) would invite her on more vacations. We invite her on each one! The only ones we don't invite her on are the ones that involve my FIL with whom she's divorced! So I made sure to tell her about this one. It was never my intention to pay for her share or part of her share, just to let her know she's welcome to join us. Like I said in previous posts, she's got the money but her nor myself can fathom spending $1,300 for a short 3 night cruise for single occupancy so that is why I asked if she'd want to join us in our cabin or spend $1,000 to have one of my kids in her room. I just wasn't sure how it'd be fair to split the cost with adding her to our room.

At this point though, her share is $690 - that is all 3 of our fare costs plus fees averaged out. I will pay her gratuities because it will just be easier and I never mentioned that it would be a cost so thought I'd just handle that aspect.

I'm sure when she is on a fixed income like your in laws, things will be different and we'd be more inclined to help out (we have another 7 years minimum until then!). We have 4 sets of parents though so I'm not so sure how we'll be able to help them all out as they get older

 

[hsmamato2]

I just read your story..... what a wonderful outcome for doing something nice! Disney really stepped up to reward your sons kindness.... love it!

 

[CalDisneyMomof2]

I just read your story..... what a wonderful outcome for doing something nice! Disney really stepped up to reward your sons kindness.... love it!

They went above and beyond! I'd say I was surprised but I wasn't. When I get criticized (fun criticism) from family and friends why we do Disney so often, this is an example of why!