My advice isn't specific for your situation but I do agree with skipping ADR and starting with the rides.
I don't have children and only visited with my husband and/or friends. My first few trips to Disneyworld I drove myself crazy and everyone around me because I wanted everything to be perfect. When something would change my plan I would let it bother me. Most days I would have a melt-down by mid-afternoon, fling the map at my husband and say you figure it out. Believe me not a pretty picture. He finally drummed into my thick head that this was a vacation, he promised wed be back to Disney World, that I didnt have to do everything, that magically memories cant be forced and to enjoy the magic. I still had trips with mini-meltdowns but our trips were much better. We would plan park days and ADRs and then would go enjoy the park and hit our top of the list. I know its extremely hard to let go I continually try and it doesnt always work. My advice is to go enjoy your family and the magic. If you miss a ride life will go on.
Another quick note I have many wonderful children in my life who visit Disney with their parents. I always ask them when they return what they liked best of all on the vacation and 9 out of 10 times it is: spending time with mom and dad at the pool. The little ones just love having undivided attention and want to be with you! Enjoy the magic.