What would you do if...

[Desnik]

Your 15 year old daughter told you she was pregnant and she wants to keep the baby? After the shock passes what would you say or do? How do you think you would handle it?

 

[cornflake]

Ask her where she plans to live and how she plans to support herself and a child.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Your 15 year old daughter told you she was pregnant and she wants to keep the baby? After the shock passes what would you say or do? How do you think you would handle it?

Well, I think this is one of those moments you think you know the answer to until it actually happens. Right now, I would tell her that WE would not be raising the baby and that she is too young to care for one. I would encourage adoption. It's probably much easier said than done. I would be very upset that at age 15 she was sexually active. I would be equally upset with the boy in the situation.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

Well it would be a big adjustment but would try to be there as much as I could for her and the baby. My cousin got pregnant her Jr year. My aunt and uncle were great. She went on to finish school and college and they helped raised him. He is now 15 and a great kid. I would want to be like they were for her. Someone was always home with the baby...she also had an older sister. It was a family effort to raise the baby and he is now close to all of them.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would certainly handle it better if she said she was keeping it rather than giving it away for adoption!!! Giving it away would be unacceptable to me!
I would tell her I still expected her to finish school, I would watch my grandchild during the day while she went to school and for any type of school function. I would get a lawyer to make sure the babys father/or his parents contribute financially. I certainly would not be thrilled with the whole situtation but if it has already happened I would just make the best of it.

 

[Desnik]

Ask her where she plans to live and how she plans to support herself and a child.

That would probably be the reaction of most parents, but could you really throw out your child & have your grandchild out on the streets & sit back & watch them struggle?

Well, I think this is one of those moments you think you know the answer to until it actually happens. Right now, I would tell her that WE would not be raising the baby and that she is too young to care for one. I would encourage adoption. It's probably much easier said than done. I would be very upset that at age 15 she was sexually active. I would be equally upset with the boy in the situation.

What if she has her mind set on keeping the baby no matter what?


I posted this question because this is an issue in my family going on right now. It's a very close relative of mine who's DD just told her a few days ago that she is pregnant.

 

[PeterPan09]

I have a godchild that I was very involved in raising and she came to me once asking that question. "What if I told you I was pregnant? What would you do?"

I told her that I would give her a hug, let her cry a little and then we would sit down and figure out how we were going to handle telling her Dad and figuring out how we could continue her education and make the best life for her and her child. I would never have turned her away, told her I was disappointed in her or anything like that.

Luckily for us it was a hypothetical question and we never really had to deal with it.

 

[ols386]

I would be very much in favor of her keeping the child. I'd try to be there and support her in whatever way I could.

I also think I'd have a discussion with her about finishing school, and try to make her understand just how important that is.

 

[happygirl]

I would be so happy that she was keeping that baby. I would do everything I could to support her.

 

[Desnik]

Anyone know what the laws are when the parents are both minors? Meaning, the father of the baby is just a kid himself so who pays child support? His parents?

 

[happygirl]

Anyone know what the laws are when the parents are both minors? Meaning, the father of the baby is just a kid himself so who pays child support? His parents?

I would think his parents would be responsible for there child.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

ttp://www.child-support-laws-state-by-state.com/minor-with-child-when-they-are-to-young-to-be-responsible.html

I was trying to google something. It asks but it doesn't say an answer.

 

[Janepod]

I would tell her that I love her no matter what and would support her decision.

Then I would emphasize the importance of continuing her education.

And then I would tell her to give the dad a head start before my husband came to kill him.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I would tell her that I love her no matter what and would support her decision.

Then I would emphasize the importance of continuing her education.

And then I would tell her to give the dad a head start before my husband came to kill him.

This...

I can't imagine throwing my child out. People make bad choices. It is what they do about it the makes the difference.

Would my DD sit on her butt and collect all of the assistance she wants or be out living it up with her friends??? No...Absolutely not, but, I would help her in anyway I could to ensure she has a chance at success in motherhood and life in general.

And I would advise that the babies father stay FAR away from DH and remain annonomous until the baby has DH so wrapped around his finger that he wouldn't care.

 

[alex9179]

I would certainly handle it better if she said she was keeping it rather than giving it away for adoption!!! Giving it away would be unacceptable to me!
I would tell her I still expected her to finish school, I would watch my grandchild during the day while she went to school and for any type of school function. I would get a lawyer to make sure the babys father/or his parents contribute financially. I certainly would not be thrilled with the whole situtation but if it has already happened I would just make the best of it.

Although, I understand where you are coming from, this statement misses the target in a big way. People who choose adoption are making the ultimate unselfish decision for their child. It's a dreadfully painful process and it's not done lightly in most cases. Those who choose this deserve respect, because a lot of people aren't strong enough to do this for their kids when they aren't equipped to care for them.

After I thought about it and got over the initial shock, I would support my daughter's decision, whatever she chooses. However, I would not allow her to think that her responsibility is over after the birth. I would help her so that she could finish her education, but she had better be prepared to give up most of her social life in order to parent. I have

 

[duffy]

I have a 16-year old daughter.

I'd start putting together plans for the baby's room, schedule a doctor's visit, all the typical stuff anyone does for a new baby.

At age 15, she needs as much loving support as I could give. I don't know why she wouldn't continue living with us, her parents. A pregnancy at age 15 doesn't mean she automatically has to move out.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Although, I understand where you are coming from, this statement misses the target in a big way. People who choose adoption are making the ultimate unselfish decision for their child. It's a dreadfully painful process and it's not done lightly in most cases. Those who choose this deserve respect, because a lot of people aren't strong enough to do this for their kids when they aren't equipped to care for them.

I agree completely.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I think it depends on the situation also...

For me, things change if we are talking about an uncontrollable teen from the Maury show(for example) vs. a "normal" teen who just messed up.

 

[handinpocket]

I would certainly handle it better if she said she was keeping it rather than giving it away for adoption!!! Giving it away would be unacceptable to me!
I would tell her I still expected her to finish school, I would watch my grandchild during the day while she went to school and for any type of school function. I would get a lawyer to make sure the babys father/or his parents contribute financially. I certainly would not be thrilled with the whole situtation but if it has already happened I would just make the best of it.

Yes, this is how I would handle it too. No grandchild of mine would be given away.

 

[minkydog]

That would probably be the reaction of most parents, but could you really throw out your child & have your grandchild out on the streets & sit back & watch them struggle?



What if she has her mind set on keeping the baby no matter what?


I posted this question because this is an issue in my family going on right now. It's a very close relative of mine who's DD just told her a few days ago that she is pregnant.

NO, I could not kick my 15yo to the curb with a baby in tow. I wouldn't be thrilled, but I also wouldn't require my daughter to give the baby up for adoption or,God forbid, have an abortion. If my daughter was dead set on keeping the baby, I think I would require her to watch Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant at least once a week. I would watch it with her and we would have to spend some time talking about each episode. Teen parenthood is so, so hard. Most teens don't have any idea how it changes their life.

I would do what i could to help but I would not be babysitting every day, nor would I be up all night with a fretful baby. I *would* do everything I could to see that my daughter finished high school and I would encourage her to go to community college. The fact is, when you become a mother your choices are much more limited, especially at 15. But I wouldn't think of turning my back on my child when she needs me most.