what would you do if you received this letter

[Imzadi]

II'm betting the mashed potato casserole dish was too big to reheat in (even though it is supposed to be "ready to eat"). You'd have to reheat potatoes at some point, wouldn't you. Maybe she couldn't get the dish in the microwave. LOL

I thought the regulation size casserole dish is because the large on didn't fit on the table and she freaked. Notice she doesn't have a problem with replenishing to the table: "Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids." I'm thinking the second "regulation' size casserole would just be swapped out for the empty one at the table.

My biggest question is: Why is there only ONE pumpkin pie to feed all those people? 15 lbs of mashed potatoes but one pie?

 

[Buckalew11]

We usually have at least 40 people at Thanksgiving (DH's side of the family) sometimes more. it isn't formal type dinner though. People are literally everywhere in his aunt's house. He house is probably between 2500-3000 sq. ft. Just because the letter writer was *fussy*, demanding and anal, doesn't mean it is a formal sit down dinner.

 

[Buckalew11]

I thought the regulation size casserole dish is because the large on didn't fit on the table and she freaked. Notice she doesn't have a problem with replenishing to the table: "Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids." I'm thinking the second "regulation' size casserole would just be swapped out for the empty one at the table.

My biggest question is: Why is there only ONE pumpkin pie to feed all those people? 15 lbs of mashed potatoes but one pie?

You are probably right.

Maybe they all "hate" pumpkin pie just like the rutebaga or whatever it was they all hated. maybe they think they have to have pumpkin pie because it is Thanksgiving.

 

[BeccaBellePA]

So, I might be able to understand this, a little, but not quite the extreme she went to. I know my grandma always had the whole family over for Thanksgiving dinner, but when she passed away, we tried to continue the tradition, keeping the same side dishes, desserts, preparations, everything.

So not knowing anything about the family or the situation, could this be her way to try to keep things the way they've been, while reluctantly letting go of all of the responsibility?

Again, I can't imagine going to this extreme, but perhaps the intent?

 

[turkeymama]

The problem with both your lines of thinking is that you think the letter writer will have a melt down and it will be a contained, isolated incident, unto herself that everyone can watch, and then be done with. Usually, these control freaks cause miserable situations to everyone around them to feel the rest of the day. They aren't passive-aggressive about it either. Just agressive. She doesn't seem like the type to have a 10 minute melt down then gets over it.

Who knows, maybe elderly, sick grandma lives with her and can't travel, so everyone has to go to her place. People probably learned several years ago, it's better to appease this nutcase that purposely fuel the situation. You have to decide whether 25 other family members made miserable by you purposely bringing an item to cause a deliberate meltdown is worth it.




I thought the one who cooks the turkey for the holiday meal IS God for the day.

While I know you are right, I have a family member that is just like this (husband's aunt by marriage). The thing is, in our case at least, she is going to cause misery for everyone else the entire day no matter what. First off, there is no way that every single person on the list is going to get everything exactly like she wants it. Second, she is so stressed over everything being perfect that she is impossible to be near. Everyone knows it, everyone dreads these events, and strangely, we all still try to appease her. Last year's event was the proverbial straw for me. I brought the balloons I was instructed to bring, in the correct colors no less. The party company put the "wrong color strings" on the balloons. This sent her into a frenzy for at least 30 minutes. Nothing I could do about it. She never mentioned ribbon color in my instructions (and yes her list looked very similar to the one in the OP). We all just had to stand back and wait for her to have her hissy fit. So imho, it doesn't really matter how people respond to this sort of thing. It is all about the personality-type of the person who wrote the letter. They are normally very near impossible to satisfy, regardless of how hard everyone tries.

 

[happygirl]

If I got that letter I would laugh my butt off

 

[GeorgeG]

I still opt for spending the day at Epcot.

 

[WeHeartMickey24/7]

Who on Earth plans their Thanksgiving dinner in JULY?!?!? July SECOND, no less. 5 months in advance? She's nuts!

 

[DisneyBrideToni]

Whatever I prepared for her Thanksgiving would include my secret ingredient I like to call Ex-lax.

 

[mumom95]

I still opt for spending the day at Epcot.

We did Disney two years ago during the week of Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving day went to the Animal Kingdom that morning, and then did dinner at Hoop Dee Doo Review. My dh, myself and both my kids all agree it was the BEST Thanksgiving ever.

 

[Va-bear]

.....I have no basis for judging whether or not it was (is) over the top.
......

We get along well in my (and DH's) family because the majority of us work to keep the drama to a minimum.

I think the basis for 'judging' this letter is that it is rude to TELL people what to do/bring when they are your guests....always.

My sisters and I (and DH's family too) always volunteer what we are bringing, and we get along beautifully because no one is bossing around the others. If one offers to bring potatoes and I was thinking of bringing them, well too bad, she alreay offered, so I bring something different. Even if I make 'better' potatoes than she, again, too bad. To me, this letter, or accepting that family members would treat each other like this, increases the drama. I feel sad anytime people try to control others and get too uptight about anything, period. Enjoy life, even when you get bad potatoes (or turnips.)

 

[disneymom3]

I thought it funny how she told one family to bring the pie knife, instead of the actual person bringing pie. She already knows the pie person won't read the letter, but she expects her to actually bake the pie. Lady, that gal is BUYING a pie.

I think she assumes the pie girl is not actually bringing a pie. She must be supplying some pies and needs to make sure they have a knife to cut them with. YOu can bet money, I would be the one who forgot the pie knife and all hell would break loose.

Whoever said those of us wouldn't really intentionally bring something different because we'd hate to have her upset all day??? You obviously don't know the above poster or myself...i would SOOOOOO intentionally bring something she didn't ask me to and also bring it in some weird container just to p*ss her off. You can bet money on it I would.

My dish would be covered in foil you can bet your patootie! Actually all of my siblings would bring something that was totally wrong or just a bit wrong just to watch the reaction. We are not a regulation following group!

IMy biggest question is: Why is there only ONE pumpkin pie to feed all those people? 15 lbs of mashed potatoes but one pie?

that is what I am wondering to. She HAS to be supplying the pies too. Or she wants these people to get the heck out of her house after dinner so she is not planning on much of a dessert.

My cousin sent all of his sibs a booklet(I am SO not exagerating!) when they were all going there for Christmas one year. Most of them were going to be there several days and he actually had scheduled shower times for the whole group. He also had a list of what the dinner topic would be each night. There were various wrapping stations around the house and it was specified how much tape you were allowed to use and you had to sign up at least 24 hours in advance to book your wrapping time. You were not to go over your allotted time. Thsoe are just the ones I can remember! It was much worse. I believe that it was 18 pages long.

My aunt brought it the following summer for the rest of us to see. We have 8 kids and they have 8 kids and all of us were SHOCKED that any of them followed the rules. We would have all rebelled. 'Course, none of us would have bothered with the rules because we know our sibs would break them just to tick us off.

 

[Kurby]

I think she assumes the pie girl is not actually bringing a pie. She must be supplying some pies and needs to make sure they have a knife to cut them with. YOu can bet money, I would be the one who forgot the pie knife and all hell would break loose.

My dish would be covered in foil you can bet your patootie! Actually all of my siblings would bring something that was totally wrong or just a bit wrong just to watch the reaction. We are not a regulation following group!


that is what I am wondering to. She HAS to be supplying the pies too. Or she wants these people to get the heck out of her house after dinner so she is not planning on much of a dessert.

My cousin sent all of his sibs a booklet(I am SO not exagerating!) when they were all going there for Christmas one year. Most of them were going to be there several days and he actually had scheduled shower times for the whole group. He also had a list of what the dinner topic would be each night. There were various wrapping stations around the house and it was specified how much tape you were allowed to use and you had to sign up at least 24 hours in advance to book your wrapping time. You were not to go over your allotted time. Thsoe are just the ones I can remember! It was much worse. I believe that it was 18 pages long.

My aunt brought it the following summer for the rest of us to see. We have 8 kids and they have 8 kids and all of us were SHOCKED that any of them followed the rules. We would have all rebelled. 'Course, none of us would have bothered with the rules because we know our sibs would break them just to tick us off.

ok - i can understand scheduling shower time if there was a bunch of people plus the family under 1 roof for the holidays but booking "wrapping time" and allotted tape amounts

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Wow! I think I would have to do something to sabotage this woman's perfect dinner..maybe bring a regular spoon instead of a serving spoon. I am passive aggressive like that. I also find it kind of strange that she is leaving the very important pumpkin pie up to the very person she knows won't read the letter. I feel sorry for this woman, it must take a lot of energy to be this controlling.

 

[PaulaSue]

Man I thought I was asking alot for each family to being 2 dishes to share. I better show this to MIL so she knows I could be worse.

 

[Caradana]

All that work, and she picked such a blah boring common chardonnay.
I mean, if you're gonna be demanding, be DEMANDING and get the really outstanding stuff.

 

[threecrazykids]

I have such a wicked sense of humor that I would totally bring something just enough "off" that it would send the host into a tail-spin. Not enough that she could call me out on it, just enough that she would want to.

Exactly...nothing makes the holidays more memorable than a complete meltdown by at least 1 family member.

You can hear the stories 20 years from now..."hey..remember when Aunt Sophie completely snapped and threw the mashed potatoes all over her front porch because Aunt Lily brought them in that blue dish again???!!"

Aaaahhh...can't wait until Christmas.

 

[MrsNick]

That is priceless!

I guess I never appreciated just how lucky I am not to have an extended family And, my mother always works on Thanksgiving, and my sister lives far away. Close friends of ours always travel out of town to visit extended family. My DH's sister also doesn't come, so it's usually just DH and I and a couple of guests (but sometimes just him and me - this year will be different since it will be him, me and our baby).

If I received a letter like that from someone who invited me to their home for Thanksgiving, I would decline the invitation and do what I always do. Cook my own Thanksgiving dinner. I make whatever we eat (I have cut back on appetizers in recent years but usually make a salad; everything else is too filling). But, we always have a turkey and gravy, stuffing with chestnuts, mashed potatoes, corn, brussels sprouts, cranberry sauce and either biscuits or banana bread. I usually have sweet potatoes, too. I also make a pumpkin pie (and *gasp* I bake a Mrs. Smith's cherry pie - hey, I do all the cooking, I'm entitled to one break ).

Sometimes we have guests, sometimes we don't. I always make the same amount of food, and we have never run out. The nice thing is that it's never a problem if someone decides late in the game that they'd like to share Thanksgiving with us. We just set another place at the table; I've never demanded for anyone to bring a dish, much less what to bring and which recipe to use .

This last Thanksgiving was one of the best yet. While the bird was in the oven, I watched the Brady Bunch movie and finished a half a bottle of a really yummy wine. Ain't no control freaks gonna ruin my Thanksgiving!

 

[turkeymama]

Exactly...nothing makes the holidays more memorable than a complete meltdown by at least 1 family member.

You can hear the stories 20 years from now..."hey..remember when Aunt Sophie completely snapped and threw the mashed potatoes all over her front porch because Aunt Lily brought them in that blue dish again???!!"

Aaaahhh...can't wait until Christmas.

Look, the first Thanksgiving that my husband and I spent together, we were homeless and near penniless. Okay, I'm slightly exaggerating. My husband had just reenlisted in the Marines, they messed up his pay (as in, we got nothing for a few months), and we really didn't have a place to stay. So on Thanksgiving Day, we scraped up enough money for gas and drove to the USO. We ate dinner there, along with 200 of our closest Marine Corps friends, nothing was expected of us or anyone else, and it was wonderful. It is my favorite time of year now because we truly, 100% appreciate all we have to be thankful for. I don't need some uptight relative to tell me I messed up for not bringing the right pie, or the right punch, or the right spoon, or the wrong color strings on balloons. It shouldn't give me so much pleasure to mess with those that do need everything perfect, but I can live with it.

 

[GeorgeG]

We did Disney two years ago during the week of Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving day went to the Animal Kingdom that morning, and then did dinner at Hoop Dee Doo Review. My dh, myself and both my kids all agree it was the BEST Thanksgiving ever.

We've spent quite a few Thanksgivings (and other holidays) at WDW. It gets crowded, but we just go with the flow and always have a good time. Now that we're only an hour away, it's the perfect place for a last-minute escape from plans we're just not excited about. Even if we can't get dinner reservations (we usually do, though), we just grab something at a walk-up and still enjoy the day.