What women in their 40s+ still have a soft, feminine quality about them?

[luvmy3]

Here's a question for you: How do you define feminine?

I'm not the pp but any woman with muscles like Madonna to me just doesn't appear soft and feminine. Madonna may be personality wise but I just don't think she looks that way. Although when I'm 50 (is that what she is?) I wouldn't mind being in the shape she's in.

 

[Aisling]

As an actor you are playing a role. Movies are fantasy and not real life.

So, making the comparison between real life and movie life is kind of like talking about when you win the lottery. Not going to happen however fun to think about.

If you are talking about women around you then you need to get out more. I know plenty of intelligent women over 40 who are fun and beautiful.

Anyway, beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say.

I may be mistaken, but I think the OP is looking for more than just beautiful, intelligent women over 40. There are tons of them, but it seems in this day and age, not too many are softly feminine anymore.

 

[Imzadi]

Madonna is a GREAT example of what I am talking about.

I'm talking about their energy not physical beauty. Maybe this will clarify the conversation we had more, if this just doesn't muddy it and confuse people even more.

We started talking about Alpha males and Alpha females. She said, generally, a lot of strong Alpha males seem to be attracted to softer, feminine, (non-Alpha) females (who also happen to be younger.) Generally speaking, Alphas tend not to choose other Alphas.

So I asked, are there any soft, feminine, intelligent women over 40+ (and who are with Alpha males?)


Alpha-type females, harder and more aggressive in energy & demeanor, like Madonna, choose Beta males. Like, I think, (just from appearances as we don't really know,) Madonna was the one who "wore the pants" in that relationship as well as now is looking masculine.

Oprah, I would tend to think, also "wears the pants" with her and Stedman. For all her power and compassion, I don't get "soft" from her.

Adding: Kate Goseling from Jon & Kate Plus Eight. For a variety of reasons, (which we'll leave on the other thread) Kate has become very Alpha, hard & harsh. Interestingly, I saw an old home video of her at age 24, and she was much softer, lighter and sweeter in energy back then.


So far, people have come up with some great examples.

 

[KirstenB]

How about the mom in Stuart Little--Geena Davis? She must have been 40-ish in that movie. Also , Michelle Pfeiffer.

 

[leagirl12]

Reba or Martina McBride....both I think are intelligent, beautiful, and feminine women.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well, I think one should consider the fact that woman do not become 'nationally known "stars" just for being 'soft' and what I consider your definition of 'feminine'.

MANY woman are soft and feminine at the age of 40 and beyond.
But, just don't look to the Paparrazi's A-list to find them.

PS: I do agree that most woman do become 'harder' and less open and soft and happy and giving as they age. There are many words that occur in our language that are used to apply to older women because of this.

But, no, surely this does not apply to ALL woman as they become 'mature'.

 

[carone0318]

2 older women that I think fit the bill:

Diane Keaton
Sally Field

I think they both have a very feminine look and given their age, do not appear to have had any surgery to try to "keep" them younger than who they really are.

I also think Candice Bergman is very feminine, but can also have a toughness about her (but not manly-like).

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, Sally Field would be one example.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Jada Pinkett Smith is 2 years too young but I think she fits the category and is close to the age you're looking for.
I would also put Betty White in the category....she's way older than 40 and she does play ditzy but from the interviews I've seen, she's not ditzy herself.

 

[Camicar]

Jane Seymour and Diane Lane IMO are 2 of the most beautiful, feminine yet strong *older* women.

LOL -- those are two women that I would not ever think about as being 'soft' (as the OP was defining feminine=sof). Jane Seymour looks emaciated and stringy. Diane Lane also looks too tight and her personality, well... not only have I heard she's heck on wheels with men, but Jon Bon Jovi did write "She Gives Love a Bad Name" about her, so 'nuff said.

Kate Goseling from Jon & Kate Plus Eight. For a variety of reasons, (which we'll leave on the other thread) Kate has become very Alpha, hard & harsh. Interestingly, I saw an old home video of her at age 24, and she was much softer, lighter and sweeter in energy back then.

Not a Kate fan, but it's my guses that if she's become harder and harsher it's from dealing with 8 kids and passive aggressive slacker of a husband. Someone had to take control in that situation and Jon clearly wasn't up to sharing that control, so she had to take over. Like I said, not a Kate fan, but I can see why she'd change given the situation.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I think Wishing on a Star has a point--women don't tend to "make it" if they maintain the qualities I think you are talking about. That said, I think some do (some have already been mentioned like Geena Davis, Farrah Fawcett, Meryl Streepe, Halle Berry, and Martina McBride.). Off the top of my head I would add:
Shania Twain
Mary Steenburgen
Audry Hepburn
Slema Heyak (I think someone may have mentioend her already)

I am sure there are plenty more.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

If we're including musicians, I'd add Faith Hill....and Salma Hayek made me think of Catherine Zeta-Jones.

 

[gina2000]

Society has changed. Women are no longer protected and cossetted like china dolls too fragile to take out except on special occasions. They've fought to develop their intellectual capacities, use those capacities and be appreciated as functioning, intelligent human beings. Women who are intelligent are feminine. Femininity is not just being soft and emotional in the year 2009.

The reason you can more easily choose characters in movies or books is because authors/producers/directors choose to highlight certain emotional dimensions in their characters giving the reader/viewer a limited and somewhat skewed understanding of the character and the situation in which the character finds herself.

 

[Imzadi]

A few more who would NOT make the list is: Kathy Griffin. She is so rough & coarse. She's toned up to wear a bikini now, but she's toned in a way that she even looks hard and masculine. Rosie Perez, I think of as hard & coarse. And Hillary Clinton. (Please don't turn this into a political thread. Just meaning she doesn't seem soft to me.)

I think Wishing on a Star has a point--women don't tend to "make it" if they maintain the qualities I think you are talking about.

Audrey Hepburn
Selma Heyak (I think someone may have mentioned her already)

Yes, this is probably why I focused on characters rather than the actresses themselves. Women do seem to have to have an "edge" if they want to make it in their business.

But the two you mentioned (and someone else did too,) Audrey Hepburn & Selma Hayek, both embody the soft feminine AND intelligent qualites I'm talking about.

I was just watching Audrey Hepburn on a movie last night and I realized she had a soft sweetness all her life, but all her characters were intelligent. She wasn't cossetted. In one of her films, Charade, with Cary Grant, she's taking on 5 bad men who murdered her husband, by herself and wasn't even sure if Grant was a bad guy, too. She used all her intelligence & savvy without having to "muscle" situations.

Even at the end of her life when she was an Ambassador to U.N.I.C.E.F., she still maintained a soft elegance and was well respected and not brushed off as a soft piece of fluff, nor had to be hard to get her point across.

Also, Grace Kelly comes to mind in Rear Window. While Jimmy Stewart was stuck in a wheel chair, she was the one coming up with ideas and running across the courtyard into the murderer's apartment to find evidence.


Selma Hayek, too, from what few interviews I've seen of her. Very intelligent. She's really into directing now, so she does have power and drive, is very well liked and respected and people do want to work with her. And she's maintained a softness that isn't "little girl".

I like some of the other women people have brought up: Sally Field, Halle Berry, Martina McBride, Mary Steenburgen and Michelle Pfeiffer.

And I think all of these women are married to or involved with Alpha males who (one assumes) respects their strength, life experience & intelligence and didn't just want soft, yet ditsy arm candy, as my friend stated.

Thanks everyone!

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Susan Sarandon

 

[lil mermaid]

I am still not sure I know what the OP is talking about, but after the death of Farrah Fawcett I saw Jaclyn Smith on tv talking about her. I was floored by how beautiful and feminine and lovely she (Jaclyn) still is. Her voice is even pretty.

I think Olivia Newton John looks great too.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

The words "feminine" and "Meryl Streep" just don't go together for me.

 

[Imzadi]

I am still not sure I know what the OP is talking about, but after the death of Farrah Fawcett I saw Jaclyn Smith on tv talking about her. I was floored by how beautiful and feminine and lovely she (Jaclyn) still is. Her voice is even pretty.

I think Olivia Newton John looks great too.

Yes, you know exactly what I am talking about. She designs for K-Mart, so she's got her own company but doesn't have to be overly-aggressive to be successful.

Yes, ONJ has those qualities too. She's had her own businesses or two, which have failed. She survived breast cancer, had a bizarre incident with a former fiance disappearing, possibly on purpose, and again shows she's strong underneath, without becoming hardened by what life threw at her.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Someone beat me to it.

I was going to say Farrah.

But, I also think the Bo Derek is still very feminine in the contexts listed here.

I think that Catherine Zeta-Jones also fits, but I see that someone thinks of her as harsh! I don't see that at all.

 

[Maleficent13]

I don't get it. I mean, I get it, but I'm trying to figure out why a driven, aggressive woman is a bad thing. I know no one *said* outright it was a bad thing, but that's clearly the connotation to many of the posts. I feel like I've stepped into a discussion of desirable qualities in a Jane Austin heroine.