what traditions do you have to help remember your deceased parent on Christmas?

[imgoingtodisney]

Since my dad died 8yrs ago I have 2 things that I always do on Christmas to help keep my dad's memories alive: kinda funny but here they are:
Dad always had a milky way bar at night so I have milky way bars for both my brothers and my mother.
Dad always had peppermint lifesavers in his pocket so not a Christmas has passed without peppermint lifesavers for both my brothers and my mother.
Do you have ways to keep your deceased parent remembered on Christmas day?

 

[Regina]

My Dad has been gone for 7 years. My Mom let me have her tree decorations since she no longer puts a tree up.

There was one decoration that my Dad always made a fuss over. It's just a cheapo plastic Santa face. My Dad had to find the right bulb to put the Santa over so the light would shine through. It always had to be the last decoration put on the tree.

I always smile when I see that Santa and relive the memories that it brings back. And yes, now I'm the one who has to find the perfect bulb for the last ornament put on the tree.

 

[ByTheSea]

Something to think about... thanks
I lost my Dad this year and haven't really thought about this but now I will.

 

[Lucky4me]

My sister and I share Moms Christmas cookie cutters. I also wear the pointsetta apron she wore while baking the cookies.

I have some of her Christmas ornaments and make sure they get a good spot on the tree. ))

I tell my kids stories of Christmases with my Mom. The older two remember a little, my 16yo was too young to remember her at all.

I try and cook a lot of the food she cooked during the Holidays.

All of these things help keep my Moms spirit alive!

 

[TinkerPixie]

My Moms christmas stocking is hanging up right along with ours. It always will be.

 

[Tony-NJ]

traditional Italian Christmas Eve with all the fish and lots of family and friends.

Both my parents used to love when I decorated the outside of the house, so I still do that as well.

 

[WDWLVR]

My mom loved Waterford crystal. Many years ago Waterford started selling Christmas ornaments and I got one for my mom every year after that. When she died 5 years go I inherited all of those (as well as her other ornaments). We usually put up two trees - our regular one with colored lights and our eclectic mis of ornaments (Disney, Star Trek, Frosty Friends).

The other tree is smaller, has all white lights, all of the Waterford ornaments and my mom's little angel that always went on the top of her try and that I would try and "steal" from her every year after I got married. I call it "mom's tree".

This year I really wasn't in full holiday mood and with our trip to Disney planned for mid December we decided not to go all out. Our only tree this year is "mom's tree" and it gives me great joy to see it lit up every night. It definately brings her spirit alive in the house.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

not original at all, but Christmas eve after services we always make a trip out to the cemetary to visit FIL. We put down flowers and say a prayer. And then I try and console DH through my own tears.

 

[JaysGoofyMom]

My Mother died when I was 17. I married 5 months later. She started a tradition when I was little. On Christmas Eve my brothers and my sister and myself were given 3 gifts to open. One was pajamas, one was a bathrobe and the other was slippers. We would wear the new pjs to bed Christmas Eve. I continued the same tradition when I had kids. Now my daughter does the same with her kids. I still buy myself new pajamas to wear on Christmas Eve and I am going to be 50 in January. I guess I feel like I still have a little piece of my mother.

 

[JerseyJanice]

JaysGM, that is so sweet!

I'm like Tony. Aside from going to the cemetary early in the day on Christmas Eve, my siblings and I all together that night and have a traditional Italian Christmas Eve.

We've taken turns hosting it these past 11 years; last year and this, it is at my house.

 

[4cruisin]

I'm trying not to cry at work after reading this thread. Today is the 33rd anniversary of my dad's death. He died when I was 8 and my mom managed to still give a nice Christmas that year and all the years after. On the night he died, my mom had gone out shopping and came home with a new tree top. She put it on the tree herself, then called to my dad to come see it. He said, " For crying out loud, it's crooked, I'll fix it in the morning". Well, he passed away in his sleep that night and needless to say, the tree topper stayed crooked that year. I now have that tree topper in a beautiful crystal bowl, surrounded by Christmas balls and garland and use it as a centerpiece at the holidays. It reminds me of what is really important and how quickly things can change for all of us.

My mom has been gone a year and a half. She was Christmas for us and I miss her terribly. Christmas will never be the same again without her. My dh and I still go to my dsis house Christmas eve and we all try to pretend that it's ok, but it never will be really a happy time again for any of us. The one tradition I still keep, which probably makes no sense to anyone is that I still buy my mom a Hallmark ornament each Christmas and now hang it on my tree in memory of her.

Thanks for a nice thread. I needed to know that I am not alone in my memories.

Nancy

 

[December99]

This is the first Christmas without my mom and she had started this several years ago (I think the first Christmas that I had been dating my dh actually). We didn't want a big meal to fill us on up Christmas Eve and Christmas Eve was when we did Christmas with my mom so she bought Italian Beef and we that and chips and several dips and just simple stuff. When she first passed away I knew we had to start soon in making holiday plans. I had no clue what I was going to do for Christmas Eve but needed to have someone over. The first thing dh asked was that we have Italian Beef and not lose that tradition. So this year we are having my dad over (my parents were divorced) and having Italian Beef and all the other "trimmings" like we have been having.

Also last night I was talking to my aunt and we were talking about how hard it was to put the trees up this year. I told her about the ornaments that I did take from my moms that my brother didn't want and she asked me if I had a Rudolph ornament or if I found one. I got up to go look at the tree and I did. She said that she has the match to that and that those were their ornaments they got when they were kids!!!!! It made my heart feel so warm and seemed like it's going to make Christmas a bit easier...I don't know why....but now at least I will definitely have something of my moms to pass on to my daughter and hopefully it will go on and on and on for a very long time. That ornament has to be at least 50 years old my aunt said!!!!

 

[DonnaS]

Before my parents, sister-in-law, and brother died we all had ornaments with everyones names on them. We always hang them and remember them at that time. My brother (the one who was married to SIL) hangs his late wife's ornament. I would usually hang my mothers and my brothers and someone else would hang my Dads.

 

[leahannpen]

This is my second Christmas with out my dad. I have no grave site to visit as his ashes are at my step moms house, where she now lives with her new companion... ( my dads very good friend ). I got no ornaments from him, so I don't have that either. ( My step mom uses them all I guess ).

I guess I need to start a tradition. My DS is only 20 months, but I would like to do something in my dad's honor, since DS never met my father, and I still want him to be remembered as Grandpa.

I'll just keep reading this thread and getting ideas.

There are some very nice traditions here... thanks!

 

[djgeffers1]

my dad has been gone 12 yrs now but to honor his memory every year I buy a new ornament for my son ( now 22 yrs old), my daughter( now 20) and myself to hang on the tree to remember him by, sometimes they have a special meaning like this year, my dad taught my son how to deer hunt so I bought hin an orament with a white tail deer on it and I bought my daughter and myself guardian angel feathers to put on the tree.

 

[binny]

this year on New years eve will be the 9th anniversary of my daddy dying.

I use so many things I learned form him. We use the ornaments that my Great Grandmother ( his Grandmom) made for us. We go to Christmas eve service. We visit with friends and always call all of our family if we cant be with them

 

[Sharon A.]

My FIL died this year so one of the Christmas presents for my dh is that I had a star named after his dad. The kids are making star ornaments to put on the tree and we're getting a telescope so he can look for his dad's star any time of the year, whenever he needs to.

 

[cinlee3]

My mom would always give each of the daughters and daughters-in-law dish towels as a gift. Every year one of us still repeats the tradition. I still use the tree skirt and stocking she made for me. We bake all of Mom's traditional cookies. I have some ornaments for my parents first Christmas and well as from my grandparents. Christmas is still just so hard without her and there are so many little things that she did that I carry on.

 

[djgeffers1]

my dad has been gone 12 yrs now but to honor his memory every year I buy a new ornament for my son ( now 22 yrs old), my daughter( now 20) and myself to hang on the tree to remember him by, sometimes they have a special meaning like this year, my dad taught my son how to deer hunt so I bought hin an orament with a white tail deer on it and I bought my daughter and myself guardian angel feathers to put on the tree.

 

[FOJMO]

but my brother (48) passed away in August this year, and although we did not live very close together so we didn't spend many Christmases together, I do have a tradition that I began this year in his memory.

I act in community theatre, and since my brother could never come to see me because he lived in MD and I live in FL, every show I've done since his death, I always put in the program (in my writeup) -- "Enjoy the show, Tom"! I also say that, in a stage whisper, just before the curtain goes up before every show.

The way I look at it -- he has a front row seat now!