What to do in Disney when your husband hates Disney....

[Gumbo4x4]

Well I don't want to spell it out however there are other venues that take care of men's needs when their wives won't.

That, plus that’s just a really bad way to treat your spouse. He’s a man, not a dog doing tricks to get a treat.

 

[ThistleMae]

Holy smokes I certainly did not expect all these responses. Normally no one reads my posts LOL!

It's funny how so many people are speculating about my DH being selfish or my kids being selfish. Did I make them sound like that in my post? I certainly didn't mean to. My husband is a great person, he just happens to hate Disney. My kids love their dad and just wanted to be with him, I can't blame them for it.

12 pages of comments is a lot to read through, I didn't get home from work and stuff until 9:00. It took awhile to get through everything.

To put some of these speculations to rest:

We go camping when the weather is warm, take day trips to historic places and do a lot of family hikes. All things my husband likes to do. Do I love it? It's not my favorite thing to do but I do it. My kids enjoy it and my so does my husband and that makes it enjoyable for me. I also go to the junkyards with my husband, do I love that? Well, I have to admit I do lol. He rebuilds cars (Jeeps and Volkswagens) for fun. He is in the Army so he likes military stuff too. He likes to hunt and is planning on going on one of those big hunts out west next year. He is going on his own vacation, I am fine with that.

I pay for the Disney vacations and we have been there about 8 times. In 2004 my parents purchased DVC and never used it. My mom passed away before we were able to go. I did go with my dad a few times, he actually lived in Florida for a few years so it was nice to have that time with him. The DVC is now mine, I pay the dues every month.

My father died in July. We thought he had a stroke but it was a brain tumor. He died in 2 days. My cat drowned in the neighbors pool, my son totaled his car and I got into a car accident a few weeks ago.

This vacation was planned for all of us to go so the kids thought DH was going. He sprang it on me that he hates Disney and doesn't want to go so I had to tell the kids dad doesn't like it. He said to go without him, which I will, I have no problems doing that, except for the driving part. I don't want to drive all that way a lone but I will deal with it. The kids have a good time with him when he goes and when I told them he wasn't going they thought if we planned more things he liked to do maybe he would reconsider and that's where I wanted the suggestions of some things to do. He rides the roller coasters
with my youngest, they love to see him eat a lot at Biergarten and they can't believe he can drink that big beer. No one is forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do. We go to Universal, he doesn't like that either. He doesn't like crowds but honestly we haven't been there when it's been crazy crowded. I plan to go to the beach and to Kennedy Space Center this time too.

As for the dance recitals, my daughter has 2 dance recitals and 4 competitions with her dance school and 4 recitals with her high school. I do not expect him to sit through 10 recitals a year, especially when 6 of those are the same dances. And she has been dancing for 13 years. I couldn't sit through 10 Nascar races, just 1 is good for me.

What I was really looking for was just some suggestions on different things to do in that area or in driving distance for him to do or for us to do that he would like. I didn't know about a fishing excursion so I will look into that.



I worked until 4, came home made dinner, took my daughter to dance, went to a weight loss meeting, picked up my daughter from dance, came home, did dishes, read through 12 pages of posts.



Thank you. Life has sucked these past few months.

Wow...so sorry for all your loses! Thank you for the reply, it really helps us all to give better suggestions. It definitely sounds like you both compromise with so many different things. He is doing a big trip out west and you will be doing Disney. I can understand why you might be disappointed as well as the kids, but you will have fun all the same. Life changes in such unexpected ways, as you have already experienced...this is just another one, albeit not so sad.

 

[LSUmiss]

This is how we operate. There is no “date night” or “girls night out.” When we want to do something together, grandma, and now our older daughter watch the kids. There is no time for a weekly, scheduled night out. I’ve always thought date night was overrated. I truly appreciate the few hours I get every night with dh. It goes a long way to maintaining the relationship. We have no outside help. That was important to us when we began our family. Not saying it’s better. It’s just a value we hold very close. Apart from the occasional help from dd or grandma, we are the childcare. I even homeschool—although that came about due to living in a lousy school district, not because we wanted them home.

Was nice to read this post b/c sometimes I feel crazy on these boards. There is no right or wrong way, but most ppl I know do it like us & this is how I was raised. I know there are plenty ppl in the world besides the ppl I know, but sometimes I’m still shocked at the number of ppl who do things so differently.

 

[VandVsmama]

OP:
Sounds like you've had a pretty rough year! Some non-theme park stuff to consider for your DH:

bowling at Splittsville
parasailing
water skiing
horseback riding at For Wilderness
Gatorland in Orlando
hiking around Orlando - https://theculturetrip.com/north-america/usa/florida/articles/the-10-best-hiking-trails-in-orlando/
there are a few golf places that have 3-day golf lessons around Orlando. up to 8 hr/day of instruction.

 

[Mizzoufan]

No. Just no.

Yes, just yes. For the rest of my life. My life will about my children. If yours isn't that fine.

 

[mom2rtk]

Was nice to read this post b/c sometimes I feel crazy on these boards. There is no right or wrong way, but most ppl I know do it like us & this is how I was raised. I know there are plenty ppl in the world besides the ppl I know, but sometimes I’m still shocked at the number of ppl who do things so differently.

You also have to consider that many here have more than one child. As your family grows, it gets harder and harder for everyone to do everything every time. I've found, for example, that getting a teen to open up requires one on one time. You get a different conversation alone with them than you would get if everyone was there. Plus, maybe while I'm having a one on one conversation with one of the kids, my husband is off attending an event one of the other kids has going on. At some point you have to divide and conquer things just to get it all done, let alone have a few minutes of sanity left at the end of the day.

 

[quandrea]

OP:
Sounds like you've had a pretty rough year! Some non-theme park stuff to consider for your DH:

bowling at Splittsville
parasailing
water skiing
horseback riding at For Wilderness
Gatorland in Orlando
hiking around Orlando - https://theculturetrip.com/north-america/usa/florida/articles/the-10-best-hiking-trails-in-orlando/
there are a few golf places that have 3-day golf lessons around Orlando. up to 8 hr/day of instruction.

I second this. We own dvc and spend 40 days a year at WDW. It’s great because we have a home away from home, Disney is fabulous with allergies and we can find cheap flights. Dh loves the parksin small doses. We rarely do more than a half day. We shake it up with all kinds of other pursuits for a holiday everyone loves. I’ll add ESPN club. Dh loves watching our hockey team play. So do the kids. Right now I’m here with a friend, her daughter and my kids. Dh joins us on Sunday when my friend leaves for a two week stay. Can hardly wait. They’ll be a little bit of park time and lots of family time.

 

[soccerdad72]

how can anyone not like Disney?

Even as a Disney fan, I can completely understand why someone wouldn't like to go to Disney parks.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I know more people who dislike Disney than love Disney. I get it. Crowds, lines, heat, on the go, etc. It’s not for everyone.

 

[LSUmiss]

You also have to consider that many here have more than one child. As your family grows, it gets harder and harder for everyone to do everything every time. I've found, for example, that getting a teen to open up requires one on one time. You get a different conversation alone with them than you would get if everyone was there. Plus, maybe while I'm having a one on one conversation with one of the kids, my husband is off attending an event one of the other kids has going on. At some point you have to divide and conquer things just to get it all done, let alone have a few minutes of sanity left at the end of the day.

I don’t doubt that this can be true of larger families. But, the OP said her kids agreed. It was just dad who did actually suddenly change the plans. I know the thread has morphed like usual, but most of my opinions/values have to do with the parents so it’s not really relevant to me how many kids the person has.

 

[sam_gordon]

Yes, just yes. For the rest of my life. My life will about my children. If yours isn't that fine.

Except the poster I quoted said adult lives SHOULD center around the children. That's what I'm saying no to. If you want to, go right ahead. But don't imply that's what others should do.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

That, plus that’s just a really bad way to treat your spouse. He’s a man, not a dog doing tricks to get a treat.

That was my problem.

My husband is a human being to be loved and treasured. Not some animal, doing tricks.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Holy smokes I certainly did not expect all these responses. Normally no one reads my posts LOL!

It's funny how so many people are speculating about my DH being selfish or my kids being selfish. Did I make them sound like that in my post? I certainly didn't mean to. My husband is a great person, he just happens to hate Disney. My kids love their dad and just wanted to be with him, I can't blame them for it.

12 pages of comments is a lot to read through, I didn't get home from work and stuff until 9:00. It took awhile to get through everything.

To put some of these speculations to rest:

We go camping when the weather is warm, take day trips to historic places and do a lot of family hikes. All things my husband likes to do. Do I love it? It's not my favorite thing to do but I do it. My kids enjoy it and my so does my husband and that makes it enjoyable for me. I also go to the junkyards with my husband, do I love that? Well, I have to admit I do lol. He rebuilds cars (Jeeps and Volkswagens) for fun. He is in the Army so he likes military stuff too. He likes to hunt and is planning on going on one of those big hunts out west next year. He is going on his own vacation, I am fine with that.

I pay for the Disney vacations and we have been there about 8 times. In 2004 my parents purchased DVC and never used it. My mom passed away before we were able to go. I did go with my dad a few times, he actually lived in Florida for a few years so it was nice to have that time with him. The DVC is now mine, I pay the dues every month.

My father died in July. We thought he had a stroke but it was a brain tumor. He died in 2 days. My cat drowned in the neighbors pool, my son totaled his car and I got into a car accident a few weeks ago.

This vacation was planned for all of us to go so the kids thought DH was going. He sprang it on me that he hates Disney and doesn't want to go so I had to tell the kids dad doesn't like it. He said to go without him, which I will, I have no problems doing that, except for the driving part. I don't want to drive all that way a lone but I will deal with it. The kids have a good time with him when he goes and when I told them he wasn't going they thought if we planned more things he liked to do maybe he would reconsider and that's where I wanted the suggestions of some things to do. He rides the roller coasters
with my youngest, they love to see him eat a lot at Biergarten and they can't believe he can drink that big beer. No one is forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do. We go to Universal, he doesn't like that either. He doesn't like crowds but honestly we haven't been there when it's been crazy crowded. I plan to go to the beach and to Kennedy Space Center this time too.

As for the dance recitals, my daughter has 2 dance recitals and 4 competitions with her dance school and 4 recitals with her high school. I do not expect him to sit through 10 recitals a year, especially when 6 of those are the same dances. And she has been dancing for 13 years. I couldn't sit through 10 Nascar races, just 1 is good for me.

What I was really looking for was just some suggestions on different things to do in that area or in driving distance for him to do or for us to do that he would like. I didn't know about a fishing excursion so I will look into that.

I worked until 4, came home made dinner, took my daughter to dance, went to a weight loss meeting, picked up my daughter from dance, came home, did dishes, read through 12 pages of posts.

Thank you. Life has sucked these past few months.

Sorry for your troubles this year. However I'm not buying what you are trying to sell about your husband suddenly springing on you this trip that he hates Disney. This is what you said in 2012 after your husband had already been to Disney 8 times: "DH, George, soon to be 36. He is not a lover of all things Disney. In fact, everytime we go, I hear "this is the last time for a long time" out of him. I think he secretly likes it. I keep telling him, we come for the kids (and me, I leave that part out), he just has to suffer through it."

Again in 2015 you spoke of your DH's hate for Disney.

 

[NHdisneylover]

First, OP i am sorry about the losses you have recently experienced. That's hard.

Secondly, it sounds like your husband has done more than his fair share of trips to a place he really doesn't like. He's voiced his dislike of Disney Vacations for years and been told to suck it up and you've convinced ourself that he really likes them beucase he has. Personally, I think it would be manipulative to try to guilt him into going for the sakes of older kids who have enjoyed many prior trips to WDW with him.


Third, I think it's reasonable to just ask (once) if he'd be interested in heading to Orlando with the group and having some dinners together outside the parks but otherwise enjoying his own days, or does he not want to go at all. But if you do, please accept his answer. If he says he'd consider going and staying in the DVC unit and doing other things while you're at the parks, then by all means start looking into other things he'd enjoy if he wants input. It's really too bad that you and the older kids are only just now looking for things he'd enjoy on the family vacation that you've done many times all the while knowing he didn't care for it.

 

[cabanafrau]

Was nice to read this post b/c sometimes I feel crazy on these boards. There is no right or wrong way, but most ppl I know do it like us & this is how I was raised. I know there are plenty ppl in the world besides the ppl I know, but sometimes I’m still shocked at the number of ppl who do things so differently.

It sounds as if you're suggesting that people who don't do things the way you do are somehow doing things wrong, don't love their children as much, don't value family as much. I have to say I do find it odd that a woman of age to be married and raising a child would be so "shocked" that many people do things differently -- let alone leap to the assumption that doing things another way is somehow less than or to be viewed in a negative light.

 

[LSUmiss]

It sounds as if you're suggesting that people who don't do things the way you do are somehow doing things wrong, don't love their children as much, don't value family as much. I have to say I do find it odd that a woman of age to be married and raising a child would be so "shocked" that many people do things differently -- let alone leap to the assumption that doing things another way is somehow less than or to be viewed in a negative light.

No I would say more shocked b/c everyone on this thread appeared to do it the same but different from us & that no one shared my opinion/values. It seemed odd to me since everyone I know does things similar to how we do it. I wondered if it were generational or regional or just random that ppl I know are so different than what’s been posted here. I even said that, of course, I know ppl do all kind of stuff different from us, but it’s odd to me that everyone who posted seemed to do things so differently. And, many ppl think their way is the best, otherwise, they wouldn’t do it that way. I really don’t care what random strangers do. It’s just an interesting discussion. And you seem defensive that I disagree with yours & others opinions & values.

 

[mom2rtk]

No I would say more shocked b/c everyone on this thread appeared to do it the same but different from us & that no one shared my opinion/values. It seemed odd to me since everyone I know does things similar to how we do it. I wondered if it were generational or regional or just random that ppl I know are so different than what’s been posted here. I even said that, of course, I know ppl do all kind of stuff different from us, but it’s odd to me that everyone who posted seemed to do things so differently. And, many ppl think their way is the best, otherwise, they wouldn’t do it that way. I really don’t care what random strangers do. It’s just an interesting discussion. And you seem defensive that I disagree with yours & others opinions & values.

Maybe not so much of a generational thing as an age thing. My approach has been much closer to yours but I have the benefit of time and 3 kids to see how exhausting that approach can be over time.

 

[LSUmiss]

No. Just no.

My father did an excellent job of making my sister & I understand that we were the most important thing in the world to him while somehow instilling in us that the outside world did/does not revolves around us. That is the goal I strive to achieve with my own child.

 

[KMarston]

OP, my husband doesn't hate Disney but he doesn't love long Disney vacations. He's feels like he's done it plenty of times, we should do something different. I have gone plenty of times without him and just taken a child and a grandparent/great grandparent. Or just a child. What bothers me the most actually is that he has no desire to be involved with the planning even when he's going! He travels for golf or sporting events and I'll occasionally go but I'd prefer to do something different and now that the kids are grown I'll do a girls trip sometimes when he does his. I did ask for a Disney trip for Christmas to take our toddler grandson and he was all over that but doesn't understand why it needs to be 6 days! (4 Disney days really!) Its just not for everyone, I get that! I'll never get an adult only trip with him there, I know! So jealous of my friends whose husbands take them a few times a year!

 

[cabanafrau]

No I would say more shocked b/c everyone on this thread appeared to do it the same but different from us & that no one shared my opinion/values. It seemed odd to me since everyone I know does things similar to how we do it. I wondered if it were generational or regional or just random that ppl I know are so different than what’s been posted here. I even said that, of course, I know ppl do all kind of stuff different from us, but it’s odd to me that everyone who posted seemed to do things so differently. And, many ppl think their way is the best, otherwise, they wouldn’t do it that way. I really don’t care what random strangers do. It’s just an interesting discussion. And you seem defensive that I disagree with yours & others opinions & values.

I didn't suggest that doing it another way meant someone else valued their children or their family time less. I didn't (repeatedly) suggest OP's husband was selfish -- something she has confirmed he is not BTW.

Defensive? Merely see it differently without need to call others values into question.