What to do for neighbor after surgery?

[Minnie_me]

My 20-something neighbor is having surgery next week. She will be in pretty rough shape, and have a nurse taking care of her daily once she comes home. Her mom is also going to come stay with her while she recuperates.

My daughters and I have become close to this girl. What are some good ideas for us to help her during her recuperation? We thought about a basket of "goodies" --- but what kinds of goodies??

Any ideas will be helpful! THANKS!

 

[jdb in AZ]

Her favorite lotion, book by a favorite author, word puzzles or Suduko (assuming she likes doing them.) If she can eat goodies, then cookies. A journal or diary to record her progress and feelings. A favorite meal. Help cleaning her home.

 

[clarabelle]

Offer to make a run to Starbucks or for Ice-Cream -whatever she likes and is able to have.

This company has neat coloring books, paper dolls , tattoos -all kinds of things that might be fun even for adults -especially if she has a special interest:
www.doverpublications.com

My daughter had surgery this year (she is 15) she liked getting texts and emails and iTunes cards. She could get movies or music and enjoyed being able to shop online the shopping gave her something to do.

She got several goody bags. Her favorite things in the bags was a tube of "baby lips" lip gloss and chocolate.

Best wishes to your friend
I wouldn't be shy about just asking her what she would like

 

[SWofDisorder]

Nail polish if she would be able to do her nails while recuperating. I tunes card so she could books or movies or music. Maybe a loom type thing for making scarves or knitting things.
You are very kind to think of your neighbor

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I do home care and some gifts can be specific to surgery.

Currently I have a patient with knee surgery. Her co-workers are keeping a cooler on her deck filled with ice for her to use on her knee. Extremely thoughtful.

I had another 18 year old. Her co-workers gave her a basket with a light bathrobe, slippers socks, and a light weight blanket/throw.

I would be careful about food. If someone is active then bed bound, extra food can add unwanted pounds.

 

[elphaba91]

- DVDs - I'd lean more towards a tv series
- A teddy bear - you could get a Get Well bear or one dressed like a doctor
- Baked goods (depending on what she can eat)
- New PJs, slippers, bed socks or dressing gown

 

[Hannathy]

Remember her after her Mom goes home and she doesn't have home care anymore! Go ahead and do something nice now but try to do something after all her care goes home, that first week can be a killer cause all your help is gone but you truly aren't 100% yet.

 

[wiigirl]

- DVDs - I'd lean more towards a tv series
- A teddy bear - you could get a Get Well bear or one dressed like a doctor
- Baked goods (depending on what she can eat)
- New PJs, slippers, bed socks or dressing gown

Great ideas!

 

[anniemae]

I think one of the best things you can offer is to bring her food/dinners (if she can eat), offer to run out and rent her a movie of her choice, stopping in to see if you can pick them up something at the supermarket, offering to stay with her while mom takes a break etc.

I think things like that will be much better than a basket of food or crossword puzzles. Those things are nice, but actually helping her and her mom would be great too.

 

[Disfan1]

Ask if she needs a hand with laundry/housework and taking care of any pets she may have.

 

[kwelch10377]

Maybe do a gift subscription to Netflix for her and make some meals that can be frozen.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I think any and all of the suggestions above are fantastic!

I just want to throw in visiting too. After the first week or so of recovery, she may be up to seeing different faces.

Hope her surgery & recovery goes well.

 

[Stitchfans]

Her favorite lotion, book by a favorite author, word puzzles or Suduko (assuming she likes doing them.) If she can eat goodies, then cookies. A journal or diary to record her progress and feelings. A favorite meal. Help cleaning her home.

Very good suggestions. All the ones I would have thought of had I posted first.

 

[Hannathy]

I just thought of this, Not sure where you live but if it is where you get snow and ice then keeping her sidewalk/driveway shoveled and de-iced for them! Her Mom doesn't need another activity to do. (and let them know you will be doing it so they don't worry about it)

 

[PlutoPony]

Have been through this recently so this is near and dear to my heart. A lot depends on what her mother is able to do. The things I needed help with were essentially anything outside the home...... getting to the doctor, grocery shopping, walking the dog. I'm going to guess her mother will be ok taking care of the house and doing laundry, but may not want to leave her daughter to shop and do things like that. Or she may not know the area well enough to get around easily. Offering help in those areas might be really appreciated.

Also help with meals might be a good idea at a point. Casseroles, roasts, big pot of soup, things you can easily reheat and get multiple meals out of. Or gift cards to local restaurants that do take out - and offer to go get it.

This may seem trivial but fresh flowers are so nice to see and put a smile on her face. Just a small colorful bouquet is all you need. I'd stay away from plants that need care, just one more thing for her to worry about.

And lastly, does she have an e-reader like a Kindle or Nook? If not I'd really encourage her to get one, it was a lifesaver for me! Use it to get free books and magazines from the library, which is a big $$ saver and will give her a lot of selections without having to get out and actually pick out books. Or use it to connect to the internet, play games, etc.

HTH

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

Be observant and look for what she might need. When I was in a situation where I needed help, people would ask, What can I do? and I wasn't sure what to say. But many people just looked around and then did things without me asking.

Something that people don't think of is company--DH was stuck in the house for a really long time and he is very social. Having people come over and visit was really great. Certain friends would come over and talk for an hour. He was weak and couldn't really talk back much, but they would tell stories in detail about what happened last weekend or whatever and it really helped with his boredom and feeling of isolation.

 

[jdb in AZ]

Be observant and look for what she might need. When I was in a situation where I needed help, people would ask, What can I do? and I wasn't sure what to say. But many people just looked around and then did things without me asking.

Something that people don't think of is company--DH was stuck in the house for a really long time and he is very social. Having people come over and visit was really great. Certain friends would come over and talk for an hour. He was weak and couldn't really talk back much, but they would tell stories in detail about what happened last weekend or whatever and it really helped with his boredom and feeling of isolation.

My DH is the same way -- he had his cell phone and the hospital phone both going at times. I'm just the opposite. When I don't feel well, I get anti-social and just want to hibernate.

The key is to be observant and sensitive to the individual's needs.

 

[Minnie_me]

Thanks, everyone -- great ideas!!!

My DDs and I are going out shopping today.

I think that when she's ready to have visitors, I will have the girls take turns popping in after school. They get home an hour or so before I do, and it would be a nice time for them to chat with her (she adores them, and loves to hear their stories about everything that's going on in school).

It's so tough when someone you care about goes through something so difficult. It makes you feel so helpless.

 

[TLuvsD]

All the ideas are good, but especially the pet care and errands...those tend to get overlooked. If her mom isn't familiar with the area, easy directions would help...not everyone uses GPS (grocery store, Target, doctor).

Meals, company and general household help when mom has to leave would certainly be appreciated--maybe have the girls make up a "coupon book" for later use?

 

[marthachick]

A coworker had surgery a few years ago & we did a gift bag for him. We did magazines, puzzle books, chap stick, some of his favorite candies, gum & a Mr Potato Head! He loved it! The Mr. Potato Head was a great conversation piece. And he actually played with it. He kept the nurses entertained with changing it around.