"What time does the 3 o'clock parade start" and other stupid questions.

[Jabber_Jaws]

I love these stories. They are a lot like the stories CMs tell on stupidguesttricks.com

 

[paras4ri]

I work for a major insurance company and when I answer my phone I give the name of the company. Lot's of times the person on the other end of the phone must pay no attention to what I've just said because they'll reply "is this ______" which is a completely different company. When I say no they still want me to help them with their coverage from that completely different company - because "all insurance is the same - right?"

 

[Nancy]

My cell phone stopped working so I dialed the customer service number on my home phone. I explained to the girl the problem, that my cell phone stopped working, no incoming or outgoing calls. She asked me this really stupid question "Are you calling from the cell phone with the problem?!" I couldnt believe it!!!

Along the same lines, I had major computer issues, the thing would not work at all and they were going to send me the instructions by e-mail on how to download the program to reset the computer. I wasn't sure what part of the computer doesn't work at all that they weren't getting.

I work for a major insurance company and when I answer my phone I give the name of the company. Lot's of times the person on the other end of the phone must pay no attention to what I've just said because they'll reply "is this ______" which is a completely different company. When I say no they still want me to help them with their coverage from that completely different company - because "all insurance is the same - right?"

I work for insurance too. It amazes me that people will call on the insurance and not even know they are no longer on our plan..and haven't been for years! And then they don't know why the doctors are billing them, and can we connect them to the correct insurance company? No, because I have no clue who that is, call your HR department. "Can you give me that number? (you mean you don't know your HR departments phone number?)

 

[SunKat]

I worked for many years as an office manager for a large, independent pharmacy. When the owner of the pharmacy needed to hire a new pharmacist, I'd put the ad in the help wanted section of the paper, and wait for the phone calls to roll in. The best phone call went something like this:

ME: Yes, you're calling about the pharmacist position that's available?

HIM: Yes. What exactly is a pharmacist?

ME: Well, for starters, a pharmacist dispenses medication, mixes compound drugs.....

HIM: I could probably do that.

ME: I'm assuming you're not a registered pharmacist?

HIM: What do you mean, registered?

ME: Do you have a pharmacy degree?

HIM: Ohhhhhh,you need a degree for that?

 

[sha_lyn]

I had an encounter like that with a guest once while working at The Disney Store. This guest comes in, in quite the hurry, looking for Tweety Bird (Warner Bros.). It was basically the same conversation. She came in insisting that Tweety Bird was in the store and I told her that this was The Disney Store, and that Tweety Bird was Warner Bros., and that store was just at the end of the row. She insisted that Tweety was here in the store. I eventually gave up and told her that we were out and she eventually left.
__________________

LOL...that reminds me of something that happened over 20 yrs ago.
I was in high school, working part time at Wendy's.
I was working drive thru this day:

Lady: I have a coupon for a chicken biscuit
me: ma'am, we don't have chicken biscuits. do you mean a chicken sandwich.
Lady: No a chicken biscuit. I get them here all the time.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am we don't have chicken biscuits
Lady: Yes you do I have the coupon right here
Me: please drive up to the window.
She drives up
Me: may I please see your coupon?
She hands it to me.
Me: This coupon is for Mrs Winners
Lady: Yes I know. I would like a chicken biscuit
Me as I am pointing down the road: ma'am. Your coupon is for Mrs Winners. this is Wendy's. Mrs Winner's is across the the street next to pizza hut just on the other side of the intersection.
Lady: I am on the other side of the intersection
At that point I just shut the window and walked off.

 

[mumom95]

well being in the same industry I get the same questions

My favourite is "I need to leave the West Coast at a certain time, go to the East Coast for meetings all day and return the same day" Which would be all well and good if they were in the same time zone!!!


My favourite job was working for a cruise line up in Alaska and the Yukon.

in Skagway there is a clock painted on a cliff. It is obviously PAINTED on there. Never fail, at least once a week... "Is that clock right?" yep twice a day.


Every cruise we would hear "Will we be seeing any animals today?" hmmm I dont know let me call ahead and see if they have released them yet.

Another common one was "With all the money Alaska has its oil, cant they do something to clean up those glaciers? theyre filthy!"


My all time favourite though was when I was helping greet passengers coming off the ship. Now if youve never been to Skagway, it is one of the most beautiful places on earth. there are mountains on 3 sides and the ocean on the other. There are mountains that come right up from the ocean and tower over the town. Anyway, this guy gets off the ship, mind you it is an OCEAN GOING SHIP, and he says "Excuse me, Miss, but what elevation are we at?" Um well.... lets see you look to be about 6 feet tall... the dock is maybe 3 feet above the water.... so lets say 9 ft?

We went to Alaska summer of 2006. Skagway is beautiful, and I remember the clock you are talking about.

I do remember hearing the comment about Alaska cleaning up the dirty glaciers a few times by people on our cruise.

 

[Mickey&Donald]

I work for Disney Store, and I hear a lot of doozies. For starters, I have been getting the "Do you work here?" question a lot lately. Nooo, I just really enjoy wearing a red button down with DISNEY STORE embroidered on it, a name tag and merchandising walls and fixtures in stores.

The ones I have to shake my head at are those who walk around the store for 10+ minutes, looking at all of our merchandise, and then ask, "Is this the Disney Store?" Someday I'm going to release the filter between my brain and my mouth and say, "No, this is Home Depot. May I assist you with some lumber or light fixtures?" Along the same vein, I love when I answer the phone with, "Thank you for calling the Disney Store" and the person on the other end says, "Yeah, is this the Disney Store?" Ummm.. wow.

My favorite story happened about a month ago.. There was a guest in the store who kept asking the most inane questions, and we continued to assist her cheerfully, all the while wondering what planet she fell off of. At the register, she started writing out a check and said, "I should make this out to Walt Disney, right?" With a straight face, I said, "No, sorry, Mr. Disney has unfortunately passed away and is no longer accepting personal checks. Just make it out to Disney Store." I don't think it even registered in her head...

 

[Mommy2cody]

I am a receptionist at a Volkswagen dealership. I also sometimes will schedule quick oil change or service appts. if the advisors are busy. I will ask customer when they want to come in, their name and number and of course what kind of car they have... at LEAST 5 times a day I get, I have a Volkswagen! Well of course you have a Volkswagen what MAKE do you have silly!!! May be silly but i gets really annoying!

 

[EltonJohn]

What time do you let the bison, elk, etc. out of their cages? Hello! Yellowstone National Park is a wilderness area-the wild animals roam freely!

Can I go up and pet the bison? Yeah-if you really want to get gored by a wild animal and break NPS rules. At least that would be one less tourist.

Tourists can be so stupid as evidenced by Park Historian Lee Whittsley's book Death in Yellowstone.

 

[BuckyFan04]

This isn't a question, but it's a line I got frequently while working at McDonald's. We had to check if the $50 and $100 bills that the customers gave us were real. I'd usually just hold it up to the light. After doing this, the customer would give me a little smirk, and then tell me "Yeah, I just made that this morning!", and they all think that they're the first people to tell me this!

A conversation with a customer placing his order at the drive-thru:
Him: Yeah, I'd like a ranch chicken salad.
Me: Okay, would you like crispy or grilled chicken on that?
Him: I want chicken.
Me: What type of chicken would you like?
Him: Yeah, I want chicken!
Me: Crispy or grilled chicken?
Him: Chicken!!
Me: Okay, you can get either crispy or grilled chicken on your salad. What type of chicken would you like? Crispy or grilled?
Him: Oh.......crispy.

After he pulls through and pays, the guy behind him pulls up, looks at me and smirks, and goes, "Crispy or grilled chicken? Chicken!!"

I had another guy come in while I was cashiering up front who didn't understand the difference between grilled and crispy/breaded chicken. He was trying to order a couple of chicken wraps for his wife and didn't know what she would want. He asked me what the difference between the grilled and the breaded chicken was. I ended up having to plainly spell out for him that grilled chicken was made on the grill without breading, and the crispy chicken was breaded and crunchy. Oookaayy. He finally ended up ordering one of each.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I had my usual stupid question yesterday. It never fails.

I was at Hartsfield airport working for the USO. Another lady was volunteering and in conversation, I had to explain that I was legally blind and needed help noticing soldiers coming up the escalators. She just looked at me, said she never would have known and then asked,"Why don't you just get glasses?"

It never fails.

Are there any hearing-impaired folks out there who get asked why don't they just get some hearing aids?

Oh, my! I have scratched my head at the opposite side of this one. I've known several people who say they are legally blind. Never mind that they wear contacts or glasses that bring them to 20/20. I've tried explaining that legal blindness is defined as no better than 20/200 vision with corrective lenses, to no avail.


Here's one from the 80's. Depeche Mode song is on and we're singing along with the radio... "I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough", and my bff says "what's the name of this song?" It's become my trademark comment every time I hear that song.


Oh, and for those who know what a "Password Journal" is, I once wrote a review on it on some shopping site. It was causing my dd a lot of frustration because the voice recognition function was too sensitive and dd couldn't replicate her password closely enough to get it open.

After I thoroughly explained that dd had been unable to use her journal, because she couldn't get it open, someone asked how long the paper inside lasted. Um, well, at this rate, it'll last forever.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Oh, I just thought of another!

Las Vegas, I'm with bff, I'm about 21.5 years old, she's a little more than a year older, so almost 23. We go into a casino bar for shrimp cocktail, and only shrimp cocktail. (I'm dating myself here, this is when you could get 50cent shrimp cocktails on the strip.)

Waitress: "What would you like?"

Me and bff: "Shrimp cocktail"

Waitress: "Can I see some ID?"

Me: "We're just ordering shrimp cocktail."

Waitress: "Yes, but you're in the bar, so you need to be 21."

Me: "Oh, OK." I pull out my ID and show it to her.

Waitress appears to be doing calculations in her head for about 5 minutes, then "I'm sorry, but you have to be 21 to be in here."

Me: "I am 21" and I explain to her what the current date is, and how it's been more than 21 years since my date of birth.

Waitress: "OK, you're right, you are 21. I'm sorry."

Waitress then turns to my bff, looks at her ID, with a date of birth 1 year and 3 months earlier than mine, wrinkles her brow for a minute, then tells her "I'm sorry, you need to be 21 to be in here."


And all we wanted was shrimp cocktail!

 

[rparmfamily]

I was asked by someone to spell "Hilo" today. I'm in Honolulu, off Kamehameha Blvd, near Kaahumanu St,...so spelling "Hilo" usually isn't a problem!! LMAO....

 

[paras4ri]

A woman went into a local branch of our company to see if a check we had sent her was still good. The office called me to ask. I asked when the check was issued and was told 1997. I asked several times for the date to be repeated - and then actually said why did she hold onto it for so long. The reply was "I've been really busy and couldn't get to the bank."

 

[SandraVB79]

I used to work for Delhaize, a supermarket chain (they operate in Belgium, but also own Foodlion and Hannaford in the US). Whenevr I told people I worked for Delhaize, their reaction was: you went 6 years to college to be a cashier? To which I replied: no, I package the fresh fish.
As if there are only cashiers working at a grocery company (I worked in the headquarters, ICT department)

But then, that is also the reply I get from my mom when I say I would like to work for Disney: we didn't pay 6 years of college and an MBA so that you can help people in and out of the boats at iasw! Yeah sure mom, there are no managers, ICT people, marketeers, HR department, accountants, auditors, ... at Disney.

I am a receptionist at a Volkswagen dealership. I also sometimes will schedule quick oil change or service appts. if the advisors are busy. I will ask customer when they want to come in, their name and number and of course what kind of car they have... at LEAST 5 times a day I get, I have a Volkswagen! Well of course you have a Volkswagen what MAKE do you have silly!!! May be silly but i gets really annoying!

I have said something like that when I made the service appointment for my car. I have a company car. I didn't order the car (it was out of the car pool) when I got it. It's a Renault Mégane. Whice one? It used to be red, now it's dirty. I have no clue what kind it is, I know it runs on Diesel, and that's it. The people at the dealership must think I'm an idiot

I had another guy come in while I was cashiering up front who didn't understand the difference between grilled and crispy/breaded chicken. He was trying to order a couple of chicken wraps for his wife and didn't know what she would want. He asked me what the difference between the grilled and the breaded chicken was. I ended up having to plainly spell out for him that grilled chicken was made on the grill without breading, and the crispy chicken was breaded and crunchy. Oookaayy. He finally ended up ordering one of each.

I have had that too. I used to be able to speak English with a Teaxn accent (too many summers in middle of nowhere Texas). So, when I talked to people or in restaurants, they didn't immediately notice I wasn't American. When they asked me "how would you like that?" my answer usually was: "I don't know, please tell me what I would like?" If it's the first time you order American/ Tex mex foods, you don't know what you want

 

[olena]

Oh, my! I have scratched my head at the opposite side of this one. I've known several people who say they are legally blind. Never mind that they wear contacts or glasses that bring them to 20/20. I've tried explaining that legal blindness is defined as no better than 20/200 vision with corrective lenses, to no avail.

I know this all too well. When I took Special Education in college, the teacher asked on the first day if anyone was legally blind. I raised my hand. She said I wasn't and that I 'thought' I was because of the common misuse of the word. I insisted and she asked what my acuity was with glasses and I said glasses don't help at all. After speaking with her after class to negotiate classroom accommodations (sitting up front, large print tests, etc.), she finally believed me.

There's no such thing as 'legally blind without my glasses'.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I used to work for Delhaize, a supermarket chain (they operate in Belgium, but also own Foodlion and Hannaford in the US). Whenevr I told people I worked for Delhaize, their reaction was: you went 6 years to college to be a cashier? To which I replied: no, I package the fresh fish.
As if there are only cashiers working at a grocery company (I worked in the headquarters, ICT department)

But then, that is also the reply I get from my mom when I say I would like to work for Disney: we didn't pay 6 years of college and an MBA so that you can help people in and out of the boats at iasw! Yeah sure mom, there are no managers, ICT people, marketeers, HR department, accountants, auditors, ... at Disney.

We get that a lot! DH has a Masters in physics and computer science. His first out of college job was a software programmer for Whole Foods Market (organic/natural grocery store). People thought he was a bagger or cashier. Now he works for Disney, and people always think he's on rides or something.

 

[SandraVB79]

I think many people who work backoffice in companies where most people only see the front office, get these responses.

Like when you work at the postal company (not everyone is a mailman), airline (not everyone is pilot or flight attendant), stores, hospitals (not only doctors and nurses), schools (not only teachers), ...

 

[binny]

worked for many years as an office manager for a large, independent pharmacy. When the owner of the pharmacy needed to hire a new pharmacist, I'd put the ad in the help wanted section of the paper, and wait for the phone calls to roll in. The best phone call went something like this:

ME: Yes, you're calling about the pharmacist position that's available?

HIM: Yes. What exactly is a pharmacist?

ME: Well, for starters, a pharmacist dispenses medication, mixes compound drugs.....

HIM: I could probably do that.

ME: I'm assuming you're not a registered pharmacist?

HIM: What do you mean, registered?

ME: Do you have a pharmacy degree?

HIM: Ohhhhhh,you need a degree for that?

I once saw an ad in the paper looking for an architect with CAD experience the ad actually said "If you dont know what CAD is you are NOT qualified for this position"
Apparently they had too many people like yours who had no idea you needed to know the job you were applying for!

 

[CapeCodTenor]

I work for Disney Store, and I hear a lot of doozies. For starters, I have been getting the "Do you work here?" question a lot lately. Nooo, I just really enjoy wearing a red button down with DISNEY STORE embroidered on it, a name tag and merchandising walls and fixtures in stores.

The ones I have to shake my head at are those who walk around the store for 10+ minutes, looking at all of our merchandise, and then ask, "Is this the Disney Store?" Someday I'm going to release the filter between my brain and my mouth and say, "No, this is Home Depot. May I assist you with some lumber or light fixtures?" Along the same vein, I love when I answer the phone with, "Thank you for calling the Disney Store" and the person on the other end says, "Yeah, is this the Disney Store?" Ummm.. wow.

My favorite story happened about a month ago.. There was a guest in the store who kept asking the most inane questions, and we continued to assist her cheerfully, all the while wondering what planet she fell off of. At the register, she started writing out a check and said, "I should make this out to Walt Disney, right?" With a straight face, I said, "No, sorry, Mr. Disney has unfortunately passed away and is no longer accepting personal checks. Just make it out to Disney Store." I don't think it even registered in her head...

You should. That would be so funny.