What is the thought process here?

[jlima]

Some people will always believe dress codes are just a suggestion. My high school graduation was in a church, and for the rehearsal they said no shorts. Sure enough, two guys showed up in shorts and they were not allowed in to participate in the rehersal. And back in 2001, my boss' son graduated from high school; and the dress code for graduation said no sneakers. He wanted to wear sneakers; and my boss was the type of mom who let her kids make their own mistakes. He wore sneakers anyway and he was not allowed to participate in his own high school graduation. I was horrified! I wouldn't put up with that for one minute.

IMO, someone from the cc should have asked the under dressed guest to leave. It's not the bride or grooms request; it's a dress code for the club itself which is a private business and can make and enforce its own rules.

 

[PaddingtonBear]

We attended a wedding not long ago where the bride's father changed after the ceremony- but before the father/daughter dance- into faded jeans and a leather biker vest with a harley t shirt underneath. Yeah, sure, its tacky, but it was not my wedding, so I didn't care. I don't think its my job to be the etiquette police.

 

[mvazul]

I am a professional photographer. The very first wedding I shot was with a photographer friend in Cleveland. I was given specific instructions to not wear pants - at all. Dress or skirt only. It could, however, be denim. This church only allows women to attend if they are dressed in skirts or dresses. I witnessed the minister escort one of the bride's aunts out just before the ceremony, because she was wearing a pant suit. It was a very nice, expensive looking pant suit, but it was not a dress or skirt. I think that's a bit over the top.

 

[HonestAbe]

Rednecks.

 

[pigletgirl]

Wow. Totally not ok. Better to be overdressed than under.

 

[C.Ann]

Well I've seen worse.. One that comes to mind is a wake - where the sister of the deceased arrived wearing cut-off jeans short-shorts, flip-flops, and a bright red tee shirt that read: "I Love Bingo"..

 

[quentina]

Well, my friends son got married and everyone was dressed weird. Bride's brothers had flannels, jeans with wallets on chains hanging out of them.

Best part was during photos.....I said to my hubby...why is cleaning lady in pictures....turns out is was Grandma.

 

[Minnesota!]

It would not be proper attire for me but I would not care if someone else wore that outfit. If the wedding was mine I would have the same answer.

Ditto.

 

[okeydokey]

I think it's inappropriate and disrespectful to the couple and the occasion. People think everything is about them and today was not, it was about the bride and groom. Do you think they minded?

 

[golfgal]

My college roommate's father was the general manager at an extremely high end country club/golf course (they've held the Masters there). Anyway, we had to drop her car off one night so her father could have it fixed. We were wearing jeans, sweatshirts and sneakers. We ran in through the front door and straight up the stairs to his office. She called him and had him come up. He was still angry at her and escorted us down the backstairs and out the kitchen.

The point to that was...if that's all you have to wear then don't go at all.

Your college roommate's Dad is the GM at Augusta?? Can you see if she can get on to play a round there???? I promise I won't wear jeans!!

 

[FireDancer]

I think it's inappropriate and disrespectful to the couple and the occasion. People think everything is about them and today was not, it was about the bride and groom. Do you think they minded?

I agree with the bolded part but the only time I have seen anyone make a wedding about them instead of the bride and groom it is one of their parents, usually the bride's. They often forget the day is for their daughter or son and not some popularity contest for the, regardless of who is paying.

 

[LaraK]

Probably not appropriate for a country club wedding, of course, I have family who don't own anything other than jeans....which is why I had my reception in a fire hall. My friends and husband's family were quite appalled, but I'd rather have my relatives (who couldn't afford to go out and buy clothes just for my wedding) come than be uncomfortable with a dress code. So to whoever said jeans are never appropriate for a wedding, I respectfully disagree. Weddings are about the celebration of a sacrament with friends and family, not a fashion show or society outing in my mind.

 

[Bluestars]

I was the maid of honor for a friend years and years ago. It was in a very tiny, old country church that didn't even have electricity and then they had the reception in her sister's back yard. Her family was dressed to the nines. Her mother-in-law??? Not so much. She wore short-shorts with a tube top!! The father-in-law wore a suit. Needless to say, my friend was not happy!

This made me LOL. How embarrassing for the groom.

 

[Lisa_M]

Absolutely not! Although I had 2 jeans wearing guests at my wedding. Not at a country club, but still completely inappropriate.

 

[DizBelle]

Probably not but to be honest I would rather have someone I loved there dressed like that then have them not there at all.

Now, if it is one of those "we had to invite them" people, I'd say no.

I get what your saying but if they loved me like I loved them wouldn't they respect me enough to dress appropriately for this very important occasion in my life?

Seriously, a pair of khaki pants at Wal-mart is $10 and I sure there is more than one occasion in their life where khaki pants are warranted.

If the only change this person had made were to wear khaki pants, tuck in the same shirt he was already wearing and was still even wearing the tennis shoes, he would have looked at least twice as nice as he did.

 

[barkley]

did the wedding invitation indicate if the country club had a dress code? if not, the host runs the risk that someone may attend in clothing that does'nt meet the venue's requirements.

when i planned weddings and they were being held at churches/venues that had dress codes or clothing restrictions (more often the case with certain churches) it was always strongly reccommended that the code/restrictions be tastefully detailed on the wedding invitation. this gives the invited guest the opportunity to decline the invitation if they are unable or unwilling to comply with the dress requirements.


btw-just for the heck of it i google searched a few of the country clubs i used to work in conjunction with-times must be getting tougher economicaly b/c while they still have their dress codes for the golf, tennis and other publicly viewable areas, they've relaxed it and in at least one case entirely eliminated it for 'privatly hosted social events' (if they host the event the dress code is in place, if someone books the place for a wedding or other private event the dress code is waived).

 

[luvsJack]

Perhaps the guests asked the bride and groom if they could wear jeans and they told them "we don't care as long as you're here" and the person just went too far?

My niece had a very formal wedding and had a family member that called to say that they couldn't go. When pressed for why, they honestly told her they couldn't afford to buy everyone new clothes for the occasion and felt they wouldn't be dress appropriately. She put them completely at ease and told them that it didn't matter. The wife and daughter wore slacks but the two sons and father did wear jeans.

Now they did have nice, dark colored jeans and nice shirts tucked in and I think they wore boots not tennis shoes--so they did look better than the person you describe.

 

[BelleWDW]

Probably not appropriate for a country club wedding, of course, I have family who don't own anything other than jeans....which is why I had my reception in a fire hall. My friends and husband's family were quite appalled, but I'd rather have my relatives (who couldn't afford to go out and buy clothes just for my wedding) come than be uncomfortable with a dress code. So to whoever said jeans are never appropriate for a wedding, I respectfully disagree. Weddings are about the celebration of a sacrament with friends and family, not a fashion show or society outing in my mind.

I am a MAJOR jean wearing person.
However, i DO own nice slacks and dressy pant suits to wear to weddings and funerals and other dressier occasions.

there is NO excuse why your relatives dont do likewise.

 

[luvsJack]

I am a MAJOR jean wearing person.
However, i DO own nice slacks and dressy pant suits to wear to weddings and funerals and other dressier occasions.

there is NO excuse why your relatives dont do likewise.

Sometimes there IS a reason. Just like the relatives I mentioned in my pp. The didn't have anything they could wear and couldn't afford to go out and buy clothes for the family. They wore what they had. If you only wear dress pants or khakis or something similar very seldom, then when you go back to wear it again it may not fit or something. That was what happened to them. My younger son and his future wife would have the same problem. They wear jeans and t-shirts all the time. So, if they were invited to something formal tomorrow they would have to go out and buy the clothes, but do not have the money. (of course, whatever they wore they would wear it neatly)

I don't know, but around here we make our guests feel welcome regardless of what they have on. (well, within reason. I think the tube top and shorts would have been the last straw for most hostesses)

 

[JC2]

Probably not but to be honest I would rather have someone I loved there dressed like that then have them not there at all.

I agree