What is the appeal of "that woman"?

[VillageMama]

The same can be said for how some very unattractive men manage to bag 10's.

That's easy... money.

 

[handinpocket]

That's easy... money.

No, not always. Some people are just magnets for the other sex, whether it be their looks, personality or money.

Most women who are "that woman", do not choose to be that woman. They attract all men and are hated by all women for it. I think more women need to get self esteem and confidence, and they could be "that woman " too.

 

[DVCJones]

Men and women find different things attractive. She may not be "that pretty" to you, but boy do men find her attractive. I know a couple of women like this and, no, they are not easy or even interested in your husband. There is just a sexual allure about them that men can sense.

Hey, you just described me!!!

Just kidding...I couldn't resist

 

[LaurenLC]

You know, the one who isn't especially pretty or super smart or even very nice but she seems to be able to have almost any man she wants? The one who breaks up relationships and wreaks homes?

You see them every once in a while. A woman who just attracts men. I guess it's just sex appeal magnified?

No, thank goodness, I'm not having marriage problems. My first marriage, many, many years ago did end because my first husband had an affair with one of those women. We divorced, they married and then divorced because they couldn't trust each other.

I saw a woman at the ball park the other night who made me think of her and it made me wonder again, what is the "something" that some women seem to have?

Penny

It take more than 'that woman' to break up a relationship or wreck a home.

 

[NikitaZee]

Men and women find different things attractive. She may not be "that pretty" to you, but boy do men find her attractive. I know a couple of women like this and, no, they are not easy or even interested in your husband. There is just a sexual allure about them that men can sense.

No, not always. Some people are just magnets for the other sex, whether it be their looks, personality or money.

Most women who are "that woman", do not choose to be that woman. They attract all men and are hated by all women for it. I think more women need to get self esteem and confidence, and they could be "that woman " too.

I absolutely agree. We women know it as well - which of us are 'that woman'. It's a confidence and allure that doesn't mean we're promiscuous or morally lax or after anyone's man - just attractive to men without even trying. I know absolutely beautiful women who don't have 'it', and women with so-so looks that have 'it' in spades.

 

[minkydog]

I had a friend like that once. She was nothing special at first glance. Almost plain, but all the guys adored her - old men, young men, married men - they were drawn to her like flies to honey. I'm not sure what it was, but she had an easy going, friendly, laid back manner that made guys feel comfortable I guess.

I had a friend like this in high school. She had bad skin and straw-like bleached blond hair. She was at least 25-lbs overweight and had awful teeth. She was a great friend, though, and she had very straight morals, so I know she wasn't putting out. She was just a ton of fun. I could never figure it out--this girl always had boyfriends, dated a lot, went to all the proms. I guess she just had a way of making guys feel good about themselves.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I think it is how she makes a man feel- flattered, sexy, important.

I think that's exactly it. FIL cheated on his wonderful g/f of 7 years, left her for this younger (40-ish) butt-kissing gold digger. Ugh. She lays it on SO thick it makes me want to puke. He sold his house, and bought a new house for her and the kids of hers that she doesn't have custody of. Oh, and now theyre getting a dog.


This is the same woman for whom he dumped his own GRANDDAUGHTER for. Yes, you read that right. He doesn't see his granddaughter, maybe twice a year, because of her.

 

[*Fantasia*]

You know, the one who isn't especially pretty or super smart or even very nice but she seems to be able to have almost any man she wants? The one who breaks up relationships and wreaks homes?

You see them every once in a while. A woman who just attracts men. I guess it's just sex appeal magnified?

No, thank goodness, I'm not having marriage problems. My first marriage, many, many years ago did end because my first husband had an affair with one of those women. We divorced, they married and then divorced because they couldn't trust each other.

I saw a woman at the ball park the other night who made me think of her and it made me wonder again, what is the "something" that some women seem to have?

Penny

I only read your post.. She has confidence in herself. She is ambitious.. a go-getter. I think most men find these qualities attractive. She is probably witty too. Sometimes it's not all about being pretty or hour glass sexiness. Sometimes it's about how men percieve you (you in general.. not you.)

 

[tasha99]

Wait a second while I get my flame suit on

Ok.

Isn't marriage a two way street? Do women honestly believe that they have played no part in the break up of their marriages? And why shouldn't a husband feel flattered, sexy and important - his wife should make him feel that way. Just the same as a husband should make his wife feel that way. If a wife views her husband as just a paycheck and someone to watch the kids while they go shopping, or whatever, or even that their attention is focused so much on the day to day stuff, that they never stop long enough to make him know that he means the world to them - yeah he may start following "that woman" around. The same way that if the husband just views the wife as a housekeeper with benefits, etc she might start following "that guy" around.

Having said this, there are exceptions to every rule and there are scumbags of both genders out there. But I wonder how many of these break ups started out as one spouse or the other feeling unappreciated, and the partner just didn't hear or acknowledge the complaints or attempts to address the problem.

I don't think there are any easy answers to the original question, every case is different.

I agree with this. I also think way too many women think once they're married, they don't have to be their husband's girlfriends anymore. It's like they totally forget what attracted them in the first place. I hate the term homewrecker because it implies the new girlfriend wrecked the home, when really, it took three people.

 

[FireDancer]

I agree with this. I also think way too many women think once they're married, they don't have to be their husband's girlfriends anymore. It's like they totally forget what attracted them in the first place. I hate the term homewrecker because it implies the new girlfriend wrecked the home, when really, it took three people.

I agree with most of this. Too often in a relationship people get too comfortable and stop trying, especially in the bedroom. Plain old vanilla gets boring after a while.

My only problem is the cheating part. If you aren't getting something in a marriage work on it or end it. Once it is over either party can get whatever they are looking for elsewhere. To use that as an excuse to cheat isn't acceptable to me.

 

[tasha99]

I agree with most of this. Too often in a relationship people get too comfortable and stop trying, especially in the bedroom. Plain old vanilla gets boring after a while.

My only problem is the cheating part. If you aren't getting something in a marriage work on it or end it. Once it is over either party can get whatever they are looking for elsewhere. To use that as an excuse to cheat isn't acceptable to me.

I think the cheating part is cowardice--people are afraid to rock the boat and they think it would hurt those in their lives less to cheat than to get a divorce. That's incorrect, but that's the rationale I've heard. And yes, letting the bedroom become boring is a big, big deal in a marriage and the people who say otherwise (and there are many of those) are kidding themselves.

 

[kaytieeldr]

They have loose morals and that also attracts SOME men. They may be riskier sexually because of this, and that sometimes makes men's heads turn.

Then, the men then think they can come in and rescue her from herself.

Right. The men are 100% innocent, tempted by these women with the mysterious 'something, the loose morals...

It isn't about the other woman, it's about the guy.

She puts out.

Actually, the man does - but we won't get into an anatomy lesson here. An affair isn't necessarily sexual.

 

[FireDancer]

I think the cheating part is cowardice--people are afraid to rock the boat and they think it would hurt those in their lives less to cheat than to get a divorce. That's incorrect, but that's the rationale I've heard.

Ah yes. Sometimes the biggest lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves.

And yes, letting the bedroom become boring is a big, big deal in a marriage and the people who say otherwise (and there are many of those) are kidding themselves.

Darn Skippy