What is a typical wedding gift ($) these days?

[Eastern]

We have a wedding for a niece this month and I wasn't sure what to give her either. We live in Michigan and it is a backyard small wedding (30 people) at most with a larger reception at a hall. But for the food she has asked everyone coming to bring a dish to pass (she called it a potluck) and asked us if we could provide the beverages for everyone also. So that being said I really wasn't sure what to give. Any advice?

I think that providing beverages for the wedding reception guests would be considered your gift.

 

[allison443]

We live just north of Boston and summer in the Maine woods. When we have a wedding to attend we take the long way, up the coast to Thomaston Maine.
We stop at the Prison store, and purchase a breadboard and a small cedar box that resembles a mini hope chest. For the shower I give the breadboard with $25 - $50, depending on relation. The box is given for wedding gift with $50 - $100 and a christmas ornament in it.
Both the board and box are stamped on back "MADE IN MAINE STATE PRISON" which always adds interesting conversation.
Years later they will not remember how much money we gave, but they always remember the board and box.
All in all this works great ....
I get the beautiful drive up the coast,
one-stop shopping..no registries..costly wrapping...choices
Couple get memorable gifts, that are beautifully made, w/out costing arm/leg
Maine Prison System gets a boost.

OT but my parents went on a trip to Maine and my mom brought us all back those breadboards stamped "Made in Maine Prison". It was great-I had that thing for years! And you are right it was a conversation topic lol!

 

[dizney4us]

We're fom NH and went to a wedding for our friend's son this summer and we gave $200 from the 2 of us. Just do the best you can, I'm sure they want you there regardless.

 

[Nina1]

$50.00 to $100.00, depending on who it is. Although, we went to a wedding this weekend for which I gave $20.00. It was a distant cousin of my husband's who we really don't know. I was invited to the shower, and she never said a word to me. When her parents came to our wedding, they gave us $10.00 and a cheap picture frame that I threw out. And yes, they could have afforded way more than that. So, in this case, no way was I giving the $100.00 we usually give to family.

 

[triciari]

We live just north of Boston and summer in the Maine woods. When we have a wedding to attend we take the long way, up the coast to Thomaston Maine.
We stop at the Prison store, and purchase a breadboard and a small cedar box that resembles a mini hope chest. For the shower I give the breadboard with $25 - $50, depending on relation. The box is given for wedding gift with $50 - $100 and a christmas ornament in it.
Both the board and box are stamped on back "MADE IN MAINE STATE PRISON" which always adds interesting conversation.
Years later they will not remember how much money we gave, but they always remember the board and box.
All in all this works great ....
I get the beautiful drive up the coast,
one-stop shopping..no registries..costly wrapping...choices
Couple get memorable gifts, that are beautifully made, w/out costing arm/leg
Maine Prison System gets a boost.

Another fabulous gift idea!

 

[lizabu]

I find a couple thought processes interesting in this thread:
1) you give a more expensive gift for a wedding then a shower. Why? In my opinion, both are to help set up the home.
2) The amount spent is per person giving the gift? Twice as much from a couple then a single. Again, why? We are a single income family. Why should we be expected to pay more then an individual?
Weddings have become so expensive that some people are willing to go into debt for them. And then they expect expensive gifts. Traditionally, the gifts were meant to help the couple set up their new home. In today's society, rarely is are a couple not already established and already living together. I still agree with celebrating with a gift, but do they really need as much? And what about those who are on the 2nd or 3rd wedding? I have really appreciated couples who are already established making a point to ask guests to not give gifts, or instead to donate to charity. It just makes more sense.

1)Just IMHO but the shower is typically less formal than the wedding and the shower gift is typically a gift for the bride. Typically I am the only one invited. I haven't been to a Bridal shower yet that men were invited to though I know they exist. Typically foods are provided by the hosts of the shower rather than catered. Because the party itself is less expensive to put on and because only 1 of us is invited the gift tends to cost less from us. We will buy something off the registry if they are registered or buy a thoughtful gift if they are not.

2)As a couple we eat more and drink more than an individual so we feel it is appropriate to give more than an individual. We aren't a single income family though so I don't know if that makes a difference. We've always been a duel income family.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I am in a large city and we typically give $300 - $500 depending on who is getting married.

 

[BubMunkeyBles]

$50-100 depending on who it is. No one close to me has really gotten married though.

 

[disneymom2003]

I have seen a few of these threads lately. What I have observed is the $200 per couple amount seems to be mostly an east coast thing. I live on the west coast and do not hear this here. That being said there is no way we could afford that kind of a gift. We give what we can afford at the time.

 

[Jenny3]

$200 is about average for us too

 

[Jenny3]

We have a wedding for a niece this month and I wasn't sure what to give her either. We live in Michigan and it is a backyard small wedding (30 people) at most with a larger reception at a hall. But for the food she has asked everyone coming to bring a dish to pass (she called it a potluck) and asked us if we could provide the beverages for everyone also. So that being said I really wasn't sure what to give. Any advice?

Wow, I could understand a potluck dish, but ALL the beverages to a wedding? Including alcohol? That's a bit much for the bride to expect out of a guest. I would get her a card.

 

[java]

If Central NY means Westchester..... you are in trouble. If you are talking Rochester ect.....then a lesser amount might be the norm.

I would give $200. If you can't give that amount give what you can. I wouldn't think "cheap" unless it was under $125.

 

[littlebit0863]

I know I was married a good while back (2004) but I received so many gifts I don't remember what was from who. A few gifts stick out in my mind, but I definitely don't remember "Aunt Sally gave only $10" or anything like that. If you don't have much, how about choosing a gift off of their registry and just having it shipped to them, and therefore skipping the cash part, if that is what you are worried about. I'm sure they will be excited to see a gift in the mail and say "oooh my dishtowels!" rather than "ugh, she ONLY got me dishtowels." I'm sure things will be fine.

 

[mhsjax]

We are in a very ethnic influenced (heavy Italian and Lebanese community) so $150-200 is average here.

We usually spend $50-60 on a shower gift for cousins or friends, but for best friends, cousins and siblings we might spend over $100 for the engagement or shower gift (sometimes we attend both).

Some of the amounts mentioned are seriously low - $30? I spend $50-60 on my nieces for a birthday gift and $100+ for religious ceremonies.

Our weddings are also alcohol included (we don't drink), so between a meal and drinks it is costly, so we absolutely cover the cost of our food and dessert, plus extra for a gift.

Interesting thread, Tiger

For good friends I would think nothing of $100.00- $200.00. However it has nothing to do with "covering plate" I don't care what type of wedding it is, so what if they have a meal and drinks, I didn't request that or plan that, it isn't my problem and I won't help pay for it. I don't and and never will understand the mentality behind a guest having to offset the cost of a wedding. If you can't afford the big wedding then don't have one, a novel idea, don't you think?

 

[scrapquitler]

Attending a friend of my daughters wedding and have not been to a wedding in ages...what is an acceptable amount to give?

My belief is that you should give what you can afford, and the amount should not be considered to cover the cost of your meal. It is not intended to pay for the dinner, but used by the bride/groom for what they chose.

That said, I don't want to underestimate and appear cheap (but things are a little tight right now).

Any opinions???

We just went to a wedding last weekend, and we gave $200 (we are in New England, I know it probably makes a difference). I wouldn't dream of giving less.

 

[mjkacmom]

For good friends I would think nothing of $100.00- $200.00. However it has nothing to do with "covering plate" I don't care what type of wedding it is, so what if they have a meal and drinks, I didn't request that or plan that, it isn't my problem and I won't help pay for it. I don't and and never will understand the mentality behind a guest having to offset the cost of a wedding. If you can't afford the big wedding then don't have one, a novel idea, don't you think?

I think that most people do cover their plate, whether or not they realize it, or do it on purpose. I'm guessing that those who typically give $50 wedding gifts probably attend wedding where the hosts are paying about $25 pp. It seems most people DO have an amount they usually give, ranging from $25 - $500. The larger gifts tend to be given in more expensive areas of the country, with higher COL. $50 in NYC is worth a lot less than $50 in other parts of the country - it doesn't go nearly as far.

People here don't have expensive weddings to make money. Those that have them typically can afford them. Weddings here have always been big, lavish affairs. Thanks to some reality shows, couples in other areas of the country seem to be trying to copy our traditions. Don't blame us - we could care less what others do.

 

[secretpantssam]

I just got married last year outside of Philly and got monetary gifts ranging from $10-$500. I would give what you feel comfortable with and maybe write something nice and personal in the card. To me the personalization made any gift special!

 

[Waddler]

I live in central NY (Syracuse/Rochester), and I'd say that most people give $50-75 per person. Incidentally, this amount would just about cover the cost of one guest at an average banquet hall wedding in our area.

 

[Ccann]

When I attend a wedding the gift varies. We are a young couple with small children and money depending on the month can be very tight. Usually when money is tight we buy a gift off the registry this way I have a shot with a coupon or a great sale. If I don't have to shop then Cash or I order a present online to send. The price varies if I give Cash and it also depends on who is getting married! A close friend and a close cousin more thought and more money. Distant friend or not so close relative then I try not to go over $40.00. Now if we had money just burning a hole in our pockets then it would be more but I feel comfortable with $40, and feel close Friends are worth a cut back in eating out to give then a nice amount!

If I know where the couple is going for their honeymoon I might do Cash so they have spending money.

 

[westjones]

We have a wedding for a niece this month and I wasn't sure what to give her either. We live in Michigan and it is a backyard small wedding (30 people) at most with a larger reception at a hall. But for the food she has asked everyone coming to bring a dish to pass (she called it a potluck) and asked us if we could provide the beverages for everyone also. So that being said I really wasn't sure what to give. Any advice?

Honestly, I think that is a great idea to have a potluck! And I am assuming when they said to bring beverages for everyone, they were not meaning alcohol. Just beverages? We didn't have alcohol at our wedding and none of my cousins did either.

I think weddings have gotten so out of hand, and I loved hearing ideas for inexpensive weddings. I am planning to do some research on ideas like this in the future for when my girls get married. We are paying for college so they don't have to take out loans (all tuition, fees and books), but told them that the weddings will be up to them to pay for (we did offer our DVC points for honeymoons when that time comes though).

So I figure if my girls have to pay for their own wedding, they will try to be economical. So I am going to file this idea in the back of my mind

In 1982, my DH and I got married and everything including my dress, invitations flowers, tuxes, basically all we spent came to $600. It was quite a challenge. But we had a very nice ceremony. (Now according to the inflation calculator, that $600 would the be same as $1338 today....which would still be a very good price for a wedding).