Raulandpinboy
<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2001
- Messages
- 1,705
What we did for fun at Walt Disney world or uncle Bob do cell phones float.
Well every now and then I push the envelope to see how far I can go before God gets mad and pushes me off the planet.
So Sunday it was mess with Disney day. Eng-Chas would be so proud.
The day started out with Breakfast at Fort Wilderness, but wait there was a newly painted bench outside with 5 of those famous Donald wet paint signs all around it.
Well I like to give these away on the boards from time to time so I figure why not take one So I did but would you not know it 1.2 nanoseconds after I removed it a young tourist type child comes running up and sits on the bench. He now has a brown back and butt, and everybody looks at me like I just shot Bamby HELLO there were 4 more stinkin signs on the bench. Okay fine my fault next.
On our way to the magic kingdom we run into some nice tourists who are taking pictures and dad is soooo intensely taking pictures of mom, and the kids that he didn't notice two gentlemen standing behind mom making faces and holding up peace signs. Boy mom has some explaining to do when the pictures are developed. Scratch #3 off the list ruin a picture.
Next we ride the monorail to Epcot and I strike up a conversation with the pilot and guess what??? we get to ride up front on the long train to Epcot. Well we found out something really cool If you tell the pilot enough stupid jokes and he gets to laughing while a curve comes up, well if he doesn't pay attention and hits that curve while the monorail is wide open (pause for suspense) Do you know that all sorts of alarms go off and that puppy comes to a shattering dead stop. Yea yea I know my jokes my fault that's what they all said. Hey it was worth it seeing Bob June and Donna plastered up against the nosecone glass, fortunately I had the notion to hold on the handrail when I saw the little red lights come on. Next time kids watch the lights like me Be like Ed, say it together be like Ed.
Then we switch monorails to get to the magic kingdom and lucky day ours shuts downs due to a power outage. What an opportunity we have, a full car, and no power. The Brazilian girls taught me one thing and that is how to annoy people on a dead monorail So it was row row row your boat, followed by 99 bottles of beer on the wall . In Spanish
We made it to Scoops seminar and lets just say my side hurt from laughing, but no tourist was hurt during the event. After laughing so hard we needed ICE CREAM.
Off to get ice cream well here is where it all went terrible wrong for one of us (Bob) You see while we eating ice cream I had one of those waffle bowl things that just yells out I'm full of calories and will kill you. So I decided to feed the fish, you see we were sitting by castle next to the moat. Just then Bob amazed that there was actually fish in the bacteria infested moat leaned over to see the fish, Donna was not interested as she could not climb up 8 stories to stalk them. Just then it happened When Bob leaned back over the rail, his cell phone took this fine opportunity to escape and it jumped out of his secure holster in right into the moat. (Pause for effect) well there was a moment of silence as poor Bob watched his phone go under the waves I swear I could hear the band playing "Nearer my God to thee" as it went under, then like true friends we broke out into hysterical laughter.
I immediately sprang to my feet to look over the side and see if we could see it and sure enough there it was next to the icebergs, no wait that was just white pond scum, but we could see it, I grabbed my phone and Bob my friend said oh good are you calling maintenance to see if they could get no . Heck no Bob I'm calling your phone to see if we can hear it ring underwater dude. The look on Bobs face was that of a man let down, and off he went to get help.
In the mean time (and by the way it didn't ring go figure) quite a crowd had gathered on the bridge to see just what the heck we were all looking at. Now nobody will believe this but I swear there were 4 great big fish standing guard over the phone keeping those nasty ducks from making 900 calls, see the fish know who was feeding them.
So we waited and we made jokes, I filled my mouth with water and made gargling noises saying this is what it will sound like when he makes a call now. June said serves him right for not taking me to dinner last night (she's cruel).
Bob returned with a Cast member and he walked over to show him where the phone was he then looked in the water and uttered those now famous words "Yep there it is looks like it fell in the moat" That's why they make the big dollars. He actually looked like at Bob like he thought his job was done, but Bob wanted more, and after a few moments he said yet again "maybe I should go get somebody to help get it", Bob while now biting his lower lip said "That's a good idea" and off he ran.
He then returned with a manager but she never made it to Bob, you see she had Lanyard Pins and well we kindda stopped her to make a few trades, and when poor Bob pointed to the water then turned around she was still back with us trading pins All I could hear Bob say was "Oh for Pete's sake people my phone my phone"
The manager now depleted of her pins finally got to Bob looked in the water, then looked at Bob and said "why did you do that for" I like this lady.
She made a few call and maintenance was on its way with the moat cell phone extraction tool, me thinks this happens a lot.
We then told her the story of how a little old lady was being pushed around by a biker gang, and Bob and I came to the rescue, then the biggest one of the bunch pushed Bob he hit the wall and the phone fell in the water. (I think she bought it) A few minutes later they show up with a 20 foot pole with a really cool grabby arm on the end.They stick it the water and out comes a phone.
We all smile and said that's nice, but that not our phone, and they all actually looked back to see if there was another one down there. Bob got his phone and spent the next 20 minutes shaking water out of it.
Now here is the part that gets me As a man I know, and Bob knows that there is no way that that phone will work after being the water for over 20 minutes, but as we are mere men, after the shaking Bob as any man has to do this will put in the battery back in and hold it up to our ear and act shocked when it does not turn on now and only now will we get upset CAN I GET AN AMEN BROTHERS. We know its dead but still there is that final ounce of hope that is crushed after we get that last blip burp and one last spin of the vibrating motor to tell us its over. Oh the excitement of being a man.
Now a women would shake it dry, take out the battery and take it to an authorized cell phone repair establishment to get it dried out right NOOOOOOO!!!!! A woman would put the wet phone battery still attached in her purse, then tomorrow morning while your hurrying to get out because you late for work she pulls the still dripping phone out of her purse and says "honey my phones not working right can you look at it please" when you ask why is it wet you'll get the now famous.
#1 I don't know its Florida that's humidity for ya
#2 It was raining and I was calling you to tell you to wear your raincoat cause I care for you so much I didn't want you to get wet.
#3 you used it last you tell me.
#4 She just starts crying and runs into the bedroom, later on you will apologize for making her cry, and regardless its your fault so just go to work and get her a new phone, oh and send flowers you cad.
And now the man's prayer .. I am a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.
And yes as we head off into the distance Disney sunset its me with my phone to my ear calling Bob and saying
"Can you hear me now" "no"
"Can you hear me now" "no"
"Well can you hear me now" "NOOOOO"
"How about now" "give it a rest leave me alone"
Bob is angry his phone is wet, June is angry she didn't get to go out last night, Donna is on the phone with Tink, Donna is always on the phone with Tink. Me I'm not a cast member but I play one on TV.
Disclaimer .
Tune in next wet phone time next wet phone channel to see if we ever get to call Bob again. If you call Bobs Cell phone it now plays "under the sea" theme. Call Bob at 1-407-wet-phone. The surgeon general has determined that dropping a cell phone in water is not good for its health. I want to see who really reads these disclaimers so the first one to post and acknowledge this message will get a pin. Bobs phone did dry out and is working again but if you put it up to your ear you can hear the ocean. Hey Bob on the cruise if you drop it overboard you aren't getting it back dude.
Well every now and then I push the envelope to see how far I can go before God gets mad and pushes me off the planet.
So Sunday it was mess with Disney day. Eng-Chas would be so proud.
The day started out with Breakfast at Fort Wilderness, but wait there was a newly painted bench outside with 5 of those famous Donald wet paint signs all around it.
Well I like to give these away on the boards from time to time so I figure why not take one So I did but would you not know it 1.2 nanoseconds after I removed it a young tourist type child comes running up and sits on the bench. He now has a brown back and butt, and everybody looks at me like I just shot Bamby HELLO there were 4 more stinkin signs on the bench. Okay fine my fault next.
On our way to the magic kingdom we run into some nice tourists who are taking pictures and dad is soooo intensely taking pictures of mom, and the kids that he didn't notice two gentlemen standing behind mom making faces and holding up peace signs. Boy mom has some explaining to do when the pictures are developed. Scratch #3 off the list ruin a picture.
Next we ride the monorail to Epcot and I strike up a conversation with the pilot and guess what??? we get to ride up front on the long train to Epcot. Well we found out something really cool If you tell the pilot enough stupid jokes and he gets to laughing while a curve comes up, well if he doesn't pay attention and hits that curve while the monorail is wide open (pause for suspense) Do you know that all sorts of alarms go off and that puppy comes to a shattering dead stop. Yea yea I know my jokes my fault that's what they all said. Hey it was worth it seeing Bob June and Donna plastered up against the nosecone glass, fortunately I had the notion to hold on the handrail when I saw the little red lights come on. Next time kids watch the lights like me Be like Ed, say it together be like Ed.
Then we switch monorails to get to the magic kingdom and lucky day ours shuts downs due to a power outage. What an opportunity we have, a full car, and no power. The Brazilian girls taught me one thing and that is how to annoy people on a dead monorail So it was row row row your boat, followed by 99 bottles of beer on the wall . In Spanish
We made it to Scoops seminar and lets just say my side hurt from laughing, but no tourist was hurt during the event. After laughing so hard we needed ICE CREAM.
Off to get ice cream well here is where it all went terrible wrong for one of us (Bob) You see while we eating ice cream I had one of those waffle bowl things that just yells out I'm full of calories and will kill you. So I decided to feed the fish, you see we were sitting by castle next to the moat. Just then Bob amazed that there was actually fish in the bacteria infested moat leaned over to see the fish, Donna was not interested as she could not climb up 8 stories to stalk them. Just then it happened When Bob leaned back over the rail, his cell phone took this fine opportunity to escape and it jumped out of his secure holster in right into the moat. (Pause for effect) well there was a moment of silence as poor Bob watched his phone go under the waves I swear I could hear the band playing "Nearer my God to thee" as it went under, then like true friends we broke out into hysterical laughter.
I immediately sprang to my feet to look over the side and see if we could see it and sure enough there it was next to the icebergs, no wait that was just white pond scum, but we could see it, I grabbed my phone and Bob my friend said oh good are you calling maintenance to see if they could get no . Heck no Bob I'm calling your phone to see if we can hear it ring underwater dude. The look on Bobs face was that of a man let down, and off he went to get help.
In the mean time (and by the way it didn't ring go figure) quite a crowd had gathered on the bridge to see just what the heck we were all looking at. Now nobody will believe this but I swear there were 4 great big fish standing guard over the phone keeping those nasty ducks from making 900 calls, see the fish know who was feeding them.
So we waited and we made jokes, I filled my mouth with water and made gargling noises saying this is what it will sound like when he makes a call now. June said serves him right for not taking me to dinner last night (she's cruel).
Bob returned with a Cast member and he walked over to show him where the phone was he then looked in the water and uttered those now famous words "Yep there it is looks like it fell in the moat" That's why they make the big dollars. He actually looked like at Bob like he thought his job was done, but Bob wanted more, and after a few moments he said yet again "maybe I should go get somebody to help get it", Bob while now biting his lower lip said "That's a good idea" and off he ran.
He then returned with a manager but she never made it to Bob, you see she had Lanyard Pins and well we kindda stopped her to make a few trades, and when poor Bob pointed to the water then turned around she was still back with us trading pins All I could hear Bob say was "Oh for Pete's sake people my phone my phone"
The manager now depleted of her pins finally got to Bob looked in the water, then looked at Bob and said "why did you do that for" I like this lady.
She made a few call and maintenance was on its way with the moat cell phone extraction tool, me thinks this happens a lot.
We then told her the story of how a little old lady was being pushed around by a biker gang, and Bob and I came to the rescue, then the biggest one of the bunch pushed Bob he hit the wall and the phone fell in the water. (I think she bought it) A few minutes later they show up with a 20 foot pole with a really cool grabby arm on the end.They stick it the water and out comes a phone.
We all smile and said that's nice, but that not our phone, and they all actually looked back to see if there was another one down there. Bob got his phone and spent the next 20 minutes shaking water out of it.
Now here is the part that gets me As a man I know, and Bob knows that there is no way that that phone will work after being the water for over 20 minutes, but as we are mere men, after the shaking Bob as any man has to do this will put in the battery back in and hold it up to our ear and act shocked when it does not turn on now and only now will we get upset CAN I GET AN AMEN BROTHERS. We know its dead but still there is that final ounce of hope that is crushed after we get that last blip burp and one last spin of the vibrating motor to tell us its over. Oh the excitement of being a man.
Now a women would shake it dry, take out the battery and take it to an authorized cell phone repair establishment to get it dried out right NOOOOOOO!!!!! A woman would put the wet phone battery still attached in her purse, then tomorrow morning while your hurrying to get out because you late for work she pulls the still dripping phone out of her purse and says "honey my phones not working right can you look at it please" when you ask why is it wet you'll get the now famous.
#1 I don't know its Florida that's humidity for ya
#2 It was raining and I was calling you to tell you to wear your raincoat cause I care for you so much I didn't want you to get wet.
#3 you used it last you tell me.
#4 She just starts crying and runs into the bedroom, later on you will apologize for making her cry, and regardless its your fault so just go to work and get her a new phone, oh and send flowers you cad.
And now the man's prayer .. I am a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.
And yes as we head off into the distance Disney sunset its me with my phone to my ear calling Bob and saying
"Can you hear me now" "no"
"Can you hear me now" "no"
"Well can you hear me now" "NOOOOO"
"How about now" "give it a rest leave me alone"
Bob is angry his phone is wet, June is angry she didn't get to go out last night, Donna is on the phone with Tink, Donna is always on the phone with Tink. Me I'm not a cast member but I play one on TV.
Disclaimer .
Tune in next wet phone time next wet phone channel to see if we ever get to call Bob again. If you call Bobs Cell phone it now plays "under the sea" theme. Call Bob at 1-407-wet-phone. The surgeon general has determined that dropping a cell phone in water is not good for its health. I want to see who really reads these disclaimers so the first one to post and acknowledge this message will get a pin. Bobs phone did dry out and is working again but if you put it up to your ear you can hear the ocean. Hey Bob on the cruise if you drop it overboard you aren't getting it back dude.
