TheGoofster
Old Foggie
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2006
- Messages
- 5,451
when an irresistible force meets an unmovable object? This is a classic philosophical question, and I'm here to tell you - I have no idea.
BUT, I can give a little insight on what happens when one of your favorite things in the world runs smack dab into one of your least favorite things.
Yesterday I had the opportunity of putting this lesser known quandary to the test. I had to go to the dentist. Now, if there are any dentists out there reading this, nothing personal, but you guys are some of my least favorite people in the world. Yes, I know, you perform an extremely important service to mankind, and without you we'd all probably be running around toothless, and having to suck on eggs for our sustenance, but that doesn't change the fact that you are still one of my least favorite groups of people walking this globe (again, nothing personal).
As a child I had a bad accident in which I took an 8 foot nose-dive onto a cement driveway (I wouldn't recommend this by the way, although it does make for an interesting conversation piece, the initial pain and trauma, along with a newly arranged display of teeth that would make Dali proud clearly outweigh any benefits otherwise received). This occurrence has allowed me to become intimately acquainted with a score of dental professionals during my lifetime (a privilege I would have gladly deferred to my worst enemy).
Countless return visits finally seemed to have come to an end about 15 years ago when I had a very nice (in spite of his chosen profession) dentist remove the final damaged teeth (the upper front four), and install some well made, aesthetically pleasing crowns. For the past 15 years I've had no further problems, and have been pleased with these fake implants. OK, cue 2 months ago. One of my crowns was becoming very painful, and it started moving around quite a bit (which is something that a tooth really has no right to be doing). I kept trying to ignore it, hoping that it would correct itself (Yeah, I know, but what can I say, I'm an optimist) Unfortunately I came to the realization that there was only 1 choice left to me - I had to go to the dentist. I'm still hoping at this point, that the dentist can simply squirt on a bit of superglue or something, and everything will be alright. It took the dentist about 5 seconds to smash that last hope of mine. She looked at it, moved it with her finger, and said, "This looks bad". What "bad" really meant, I was about to quickly find out. That little fall I had as a child not only made an impression on my teeth, but the very bone structure of my mouth as well. Those crowns that I had put on 15 years ago, were starting to come undone (it wasn't the other dentist's fault, he actually did a great job that lasted longer than they probably should have). I now need to have not only the same 4 crowns pulled and replaced, but 2 additional teeth on the side as well, and have a bridge put in that should last me another 15 years or so.
So, now we get to yesterday, the dreaded day I had to go and have most of the work done to get my mouth ready for the bridge. I knew I was in trouble when the dentist said it was going to be a 2 hour appointment. In preparation for this upcoming event, I thought I would make the ordeal less trying by bringing with me my portable MP3 player, loaded with my favorite Disney World songs.
I sat down in the chair, opened my mouth, turned the music on, and let the fun begin. Here we have it, one of the worst things in the world, trying to be offset by one of the best things - Major pain at the hands of a sadistic dentist (again, no offense to all you dentists out there), and soothing, comforting music from the best place in the world. As the drill began chipping away, and parts of my teeth starting flying about in all directions, and that nauseating smell was threatening to overwhelm me, I tried to let the sounds of Spectromagic carry me away. As the dentist repeatedly pounded away on a stubborn tooth, I kept hearing a chorus telling me that I was walking right down the middle of Main Street USA. As sharp stabs of pains from tender gums kept exploding in my brain, I was hearing the whimsical voice of figment encouraging me to let my imagination take me to far away places. For almost two hours this battle raged on. Pain and hurt on the one side, comfort and joy on the other.
The pinnacle of this battle was enough to almost make me chortle out loud. At the point when the pain was the most severe, when all of my pain sensors were being put to the ultimate test, when the drilling, chipping, pounding, jabbing and stinging were at their very worst, when I just couldn't take any more, the song that was playing on my MP3 player? What else - Everybody has a laughing place. Now if that isn't irony, I don't know what is?
Thankfully I survived the ordeal, and can now look back at it, and get a good chuckle or two (at least until my next appointment
).
BUT, I can give a little insight on what happens when one of your favorite things in the world runs smack dab into one of your least favorite things.
Yesterday I had the opportunity of putting this lesser known quandary to the test. I had to go to the dentist. Now, if there are any dentists out there reading this, nothing personal, but you guys are some of my least favorite people in the world. Yes, I know, you perform an extremely important service to mankind, and without you we'd all probably be running around toothless, and having to suck on eggs for our sustenance, but that doesn't change the fact that you are still one of my least favorite groups of people walking this globe (again, nothing personal).
As a child I had a bad accident in which I took an 8 foot nose-dive onto a cement driveway (I wouldn't recommend this by the way, although it does make for an interesting conversation piece, the initial pain and trauma, along with a newly arranged display of teeth that would make Dali proud clearly outweigh any benefits otherwise received). This occurrence has allowed me to become intimately acquainted with a score of dental professionals during my lifetime (a privilege I would have gladly deferred to my worst enemy).
Countless return visits finally seemed to have come to an end about 15 years ago when I had a very nice (in spite of his chosen profession) dentist remove the final damaged teeth (the upper front four), and install some well made, aesthetically pleasing crowns. For the past 15 years I've had no further problems, and have been pleased with these fake implants. OK, cue 2 months ago. One of my crowns was becoming very painful, and it started moving around quite a bit (which is something that a tooth really has no right to be doing). I kept trying to ignore it, hoping that it would correct itself (Yeah, I know, but what can I say, I'm an optimist) Unfortunately I came to the realization that there was only 1 choice left to me - I had to go to the dentist. I'm still hoping at this point, that the dentist can simply squirt on a bit of superglue or something, and everything will be alright. It took the dentist about 5 seconds to smash that last hope of mine. She looked at it, moved it with her finger, and said, "This looks bad". What "bad" really meant, I was about to quickly find out. That little fall I had as a child not only made an impression on my teeth, but the very bone structure of my mouth as well. Those crowns that I had put on 15 years ago, were starting to come undone (it wasn't the other dentist's fault, he actually did a great job that lasted longer than they probably should have). I now need to have not only the same 4 crowns pulled and replaced, but 2 additional teeth on the side as well, and have a bridge put in that should last me another 15 years or so.
So, now we get to yesterday, the dreaded day I had to go and have most of the work done to get my mouth ready for the bridge. I knew I was in trouble when the dentist said it was going to be a 2 hour appointment. In preparation for this upcoming event, I thought I would make the ordeal less trying by bringing with me my portable MP3 player, loaded with my favorite Disney World songs.
I sat down in the chair, opened my mouth, turned the music on, and let the fun begin. Here we have it, one of the worst things in the world, trying to be offset by one of the best things - Major pain at the hands of a sadistic dentist (again, no offense to all you dentists out there), and soothing, comforting music from the best place in the world. As the drill began chipping away, and parts of my teeth starting flying about in all directions, and that nauseating smell was threatening to overwhelm me, I tried to let the sounds of Spectromagic carry me away. As the dentist repeatedly pounded away on a stubborn tooth, I kept hearing a chorus telling me that I was walking right down the middle of Main Street USA. As sharp stabs of pains from tender gums kept exploding in my brain, I was hearing the whimsical voice of figment encouraging me to let my imagination take me to far away places. For almost two hours this battle raged on. Pain and hurt on the one side, comfort and joy on the other.
The pinnacle of this battle was enough to almost make me chortle out loud. At the point when the pain was the most severe, when all of my pain sensors were being put to the ultimate test, when the drilling, chipping, pounding, jabbing and stinging were at their very worst, when I just couldn't take any more, the song that was playing on my MP3 player? What else - Everybody has a laughing place. Now if that isn't irony, I don't know what is?
Thankfully I survived the ordeal, and can now look back at it, and get a good chuckle or two (at least until my next appointment
).
That sounds horrendously painful. How does your mouth feel today?
