What happened to parents being embarrassed if an authority figure has to "speak" to ?

[Disney1fan2002]

I am at a loss for words. I have been taking my kids to our little town's watering hole. We go 3 or 4 days a week. The kids run into kids they know from school, and I get to socialize with some of the moms I typically don't see when school is not in session.

OK, so here is the set up, the beach rents out kayaks, canoes, and peddle boats. And they have a big float, that looks like an oversized surf board, but it is foam. The kayaks and the float sit on a section of the beach, and when you rent one, you just go get in it. The float is like a magnet for little kids to jump on, walk on, ect. On more than one occasion, I have witnessed a life guard ask a kid to please get off the float. The kid will just look at the life guard, and keep jumping, or walking all over it. The lifeguard will ask again...and again. Meanwhile, the kid's mother is sitting right there. She can clearly see and hear her kid being spoken to, yet does she pipe up and ask little Suzie or Johnny to get off the float? NOPE. A few days ago, some kids were rough housing in the water, dunking each other under, and holding each other under, or jumping on their backs. THREE lifeguards had to kepp telling them over and over to stop pulling and dragging and dunking each other...the kids kept doing it. To the point where the life guards were yelling at them, and threatening to beach them. These kids were around 11-12 years old. If my kids were behaving in a way that had the lifeguards yelling at them, forget the lifegaurds, I would be beaching them, and then we would be going home, probably not to return for the rest of the summer. I was watching this, and no mother piped up from the beach to tell little Johnny and little Billy to cut the crap.

Yesterday, oh boy..yesterday took the cake. Every top of the hour, the lifeguards blow a whistle and announce it's adult swim. The adults get to enjoy 15 minutes of swimming without splashing, screaming kids around them. So all the kids have to be COMPLETELY out of the water and off the docks until quarter after the hour. Yesterday, there were two little boys, in the shallow end. One of the lifeguards told them they had to be all the way out. The boys ignored her. She repeated it 3 times, then another lifeguard was telling them to get out. The boys are now actually swimming, not just sitting in the water. Granted, they were only about 4 years old, and probably didn't understand, but that is where mommy should come in, right? My sister and I were in absolute AWE, that the mother was sitting 10 feet away, she could clearly see her kids are being asked to leave the water, and she just sits there. It looked like their older siblings finally went in and physically tried to remove them from the water. It wasn't until the kids started flailing and yelling that mom got involved.

I feel so bad for these lifeguards. They are only high school or college kids, and the clearly do not have the support of the parents when kids are doing something wrong.

I would be so mortified if it were my kid.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

The only possibility I'd think of for that last scenario is if the family were deaf ?
But, in any of those cases, I'd personally be on my kids RIGHT AWAY to do what the lifeguard had said. If an other authority figure had to repeat something to my kids, I'd not only be embarrassed as their mother, I'd be ticked at my kids and they'd definitely be out of the water for a good while...

 

[LuvOrlando]

Ugggh, people raise their kids like this and then wonder why they don't have many friends, do well in school or get good jobs as adults Following certain rules is a huge part of being an adult. Social rules are among the most complex and are the most necessary. If people refuse to teach their kids what is necessary to get along in the world then they are not doing their job. I feel bad for the kids because they are the one's the world is going to slap down into place... and it's gonna hurt whole lot more from strangers than if Mom had done it in the first place like she was supposed to do.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Some people have absolutely no respect for rules. They do whatever is most convenient for them and it seems like these parents fall into that category. That "adult swim" situation would have really irritated me. At the beginning of the summer, an organization that my boyfriend belongs to hosted an end of year party at a hotel. They rented out a banquet room, had a pool party, etc. I was really looking forward to the pool party portion until I got to the pool and there were a bunch of little kids there that weren't part of our organization...nor were they hotel guests. I overheard several conversations and they were just local people who had come to use the pool without paying anything, renting a room, or anything. And I couldn't enjoy myself (nor could other members of the organization that had planned the pool party) because the little kids were splashing around, diving, etc. I would have been disappointed if there had been that many children there because there were that many rooms rented out that had children in them, but I was absolutely furious that these people saw fit to ruin our party for their own convenience.

 

[PatsGirl]

#1 ~ my kids wouldn't dare

#2 ~ if they did, the consequences would be such that it would be a first and last for them

One of my biggest pet peeves is people with children who do NOT parent, ask any teacher and I bet you'll find that a good majority of kids today have absolutely no respect for authority. Who's to blame: parents

 

[Mickey Fliers]

That's crazy! The lifeguards at our pool are fully in charge. I have never once seen a child "not" listen to the guard. Our guards blow the whistle and every kid just about halts. They also have no problem making the kids take a "time out" on the wall. Not sure why, but not one child ignores them.

 

[trip]

Haven't your learned, especially after spending any time on these boards, that rules are always meant for other people.

 

[rn4val]

I can only hope the mom gets wha she deserves by not training them now when they are young when they are older and don't follow traffic rules or other more serious rules and end up in jail.

 

[npmommie]

We have a similar type of beach in our town, and we also had the same thing happen the other day when we were there.
the swimming area is clearly designated and roped off, but some kids decided to go under and swim elsewhere, I saw the lifeguard go over and tell them to move over, but they didn't , she said it a few times, and no parent stepped up,
the kids were probably about 10 ish in age. not sure, but it appeared that the lifeguard finally got the kid to listen, but it took a few minutes!

we don't have the adult swim thing, but I would imagine that would also cause all sorts of issues!

 

[merryweather20]

4 Years Old? They shouldn't have been in the water by themselves anyway!

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

It happens everywhere and sometimes the parents are the worst. I run a rollercoaster, which means that part of my job is turning away ids who are too short. It's not a part I enjoy- but it's necessary and we take it very seriously.

I have had parents yell at me, tell me I'm doing a terrible thing, even cuss me out in front of their children. As if any of that will magically make it safe for their children to ride. And then five years down the road they wonder why their children are so unmanageable. Children learn by example.

 

[becjlek]

Both my sons are life guards. Both will tell you that adults cause more problems at the pools that kids. Some adults think that the rules do not apply to adults or to their children if they (the parents) are there. My sons have had many difficult adults use these arguments with them.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Our neighborhood pool is not monitored by a lifeguard. About 10 of us were sitting at the pool after sunset (all adults), and a 10 year old and her 12 year old brother walked in and started swimming. We pointed to the rules which stated you have to be 14 or older to swim alone and sent them home.

Ten minutes later the mother comes storming up to the pool to scream at us about kicking her kid out of the pool. Darwin Awards, anyone?

I've come to the conclusion that dill-holes are very dedicated to raising the next generation of dill-holes. The ones that survive, at least.

 

[Ppufi]

Heck, if I was those kids I would have snapped to it. But then again, my mom did teach me about respect.

Downfall of the Planet #105: Kids with no sense of respect or discipline. Caused by lack of parental guidance 99.9% of the time.

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

I was a life guard in high school and college. Once, when I was the manager, I had a group of children from a family that refused to listen and the parent's wouldn't support me or my staff -- so I kicked out the entire family after issuing a written citation that they were creating an unsafe atmosphere!

Fortunately, our pool rules indicated that the life guard had the authority (and responsibility) to do that and indicated that any family that was kicked out 2 times in a season would no longer be admitted!

Needless to say, some "difficult" families had a lot more respect for the lifeguards after that!

K

 

[KAMLEM]

4 Years Old? They shouldn't have been in the water by themselves anyway!

Why not? Plenty of 4 year olds can swim by themselves.

 

[NotUrsula]

Why not? Plenty of 4 year olds can swim by themselves.

Swim, yes. Be trusted to conduct themselves in a safe manner at all times without supervision? That's another thing entirely.

Kids WILL decide to bother other people and pull unsafe stunts when no familiar grown-up is around to see, and it should not be the lifeguard's responsibility to police their behaviour. Lifeguards are really there to prevent drowning, not to be the conduct cops for rowdy or disobedient kids.

I've always thought that pools should have lifeguards AND security guards, and that the lifeguards should be able to punt to security when behaviour was the issue.

 

[dismom2]

Why not? Plenty of 4 year olds can swim by themselves.

They should at least be supervised, and if they are told to get out, the parent(s) should be paying attention and make sure their child follows the rules.

Rules are there for safety reasons. I quit going to indoor playlands because too many parents do not watch their kids. I have seen children choking other kids, blocking them so they can't go down the slide, climbing up the slide when kids are trying to go down, kids with poopy diapers (and it's was coming up and out of the back), hitting and kicking of other kids, and a lot of bullying going on. The parents are either on their cell phone, reading a book, or totally oblivious and not watching their kids at all. Maybe they just don't care, I don't know, but those kinds of parents get on my nerves.

 

[C.Ann]

Sad, isn't it? But it doesn't stop in childhood either.. Many adults have no respect for anyone - parents; grandparents; bosses; policemen; etc.. As someone else mentioned, it's becoming a world of "rules only apply to other people"..

 

[ChrizJen]

I was observing this the other day myself. What is it about group situations that makes some parents think that they can take a break from parenting?!?!? It's selfishness, plain and simple. I feel really bad for the kids. If they're never taught consequences now, they're in for a RUDE awakening when they hit the real world. What's really scary is to think that if these parents are this lax with their kids in public, then how lazy must they be in the privacy of their own homes???