What do you think about picking teams in gym class?

[ols386]

I'm really curious to this question- those of you who think it's OK to pick teams in gym this way and think that the ones who are picked last should just get over it- do you have school aged kids? I'm guessing most of you do not. It's different when it is your own kid. It just is and there is no other way to explain it.

I have grown kids, and no parent likes to see their child feel bad for whatever reason, but I do believe that our job as parents is to prepare our children for the real world.

When our children become adults, they need to be able to deal with disappointments, hurt feelings, criticizm, failures as well as successes, etc. etc., once they are in the real world. Protecting them from experiencing these things during childhood, isn't preparing them.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

I'm really curious to this question- those of you who think it's OK to pick teams in gym this way and think that the ones who are picked last should just get over it- do you have school aged kids? I'm guessing most of you do not. It's different when it is your own kid. It just is and there is no other way to explain it.

Yes, I do...one in K and one in 4th. And as a matter of fact, their school posts their times for the mile right on the wall outside the gym/cafeteria for everyone to see. I really don't think doing that, or picking teams in Gym is a big deal. Not everyone is good in everything. I have one that excels more in sports and one who seems to excel more in academics....maybe that helps...they see first-hand that we all can't be good at everything.

 

[luvsJack]

I am so sick of hearing (or reading) "life is not fair" "stop shielding your kids" That is BS!

Of course life is not always fair and of course our kids will have to learn that, but it doesn't have to be by humiliation. Now, our PE teacher solves this by doing absolutely nothing but he is like a whole 'nother thread of issues; but IF he did do this I would bet my bottom dollar exactly which kids he would pick to be team leaders. It would either be the athletes or the "popular girls" (a name the little group calls themselves). These kids being normal 6th grade kids are going to either pick the other athletes because they want to win and its all about competition OR they pick their friends because its all about being popular. Neither of those choices teach anyone anything except maybe that to not get humiliated in gym class you have to be athletic or be one of the almighty "populars". And in small schools 9 out of 10 times these are the same kids that are picked for other things too.

Why is it that these kids never need to learn that "life is not fair"?

There is absolutely no reason to teach life lessons in PE. Its for physical exercise not playing "let's see who we can humiliate today".

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

Instead of complaining about the gym teacher and justifying your child's insecurities, I would use this as a platform to have a conversation with my child about how this could be a learning experience. As has been pointed out, life is not always fair. So what--You're child may not be athletic. I'm sure they have other strengths.

If your first instinct is to rush in and demand that they change their methods, then I suggest that it's your problem- not the teachers. Cut the cord!

And YES, I have children. No, they are not at all athletically inclined. Neither are their parents.

 

[Acklander]

I'm really curious to this question- those of you who think it's OK to pick teams in gym this way and think that the ones who are picked last should just get over it- do you have school aged kids? I'm guessing most of you do not. It's different when it is your own kid. It just is and there is no other way to explain it.

Yes I have kids (including one still in school), and while I'm sad when my kids feelings are hurt, I also understand that it's part of life. It's a learning and growing experience. I can feel bad for them, I can wish that it had a different outcome, I can hope that they get over it quickly, but what I can't do is change the fact that kids feelings are going to get hurt. I don't know ANYONE who has never had their feelings hurt or has never been embarrassed. They really do have to learn to deal with it.

 

[mishasmom]

This is a form of public humiliation, and is mainly a popularity contest. There is NO reason for teachers to still be using this method. What does this have to do with teaching them that life is full of disappointments and life isn't fair? You honestly think that if teachers stopped doing this that kids wouldn't learn these things? You learn these things in tons of way, and being picked last in PE isn't one of them. I don't see it as protecting them. You actually want your child to be humiliated in front of their peers to help prepare them for life??? And not just once, but every time the teacher chooses teams like this? They will have many disappointments in life to learn from-they don't need to be in such a public manner.

 

[rgf207]

This process has been going on since the dawn of time and will not change. I see nothing wrong with it. It's life. Not everyone is picked first.

Kids need a dose of real life. We can't coddle them forever. Not everyone makes the team and not everyone is an "A" student.

Why do we feel the need to "protect" children in every aspect. The real world is not kind. The real world plays favorites and in the real world, people are disappointed and picked last. Sheltering kids from the negative aspects in life does nothing but hurt them in the long run. What happens if your child is not picked for the college they want or not picked for the job they apply for? It's the same scenario

I can't stress this enough

 

[Acklander]

Why is it that these kids never need to learn that "life is not fair"?

.

What makes you think that they never learn that "life is not fair"? Do you really think they go through life coasting on their achievements from 6th grade gym class? Just because they don't have the same challenges your kids have, doesn't mean they don't have challenges.

 

[Jennasis]

I was picked last. No lasting damage. It's the way of the world.

 

[luvsJack]

Instead of complaining about the gym teacher and justifying your child's insecurities, I would use this as a platform to have a conversation with my child about how this could be a learning experience. As has been pointed out, life is not always fair. So what--You're child may not be athletic. I'm sure they have other strengths.

If your first instinct is to rush in and demand that they change their methods, then I suggest that it's your problem- not the teachers. Cut the cord!

And YES, I have children. No, they are not at all athletically inclined. Neither are their parents.

It is usually not about being athletic its about who is the most popular. Kids know who is and isn't popular, they don't need it pushed in their face all the time.

I wouldn't go storming the school over this issue but I might mention it to the PE teacher that it is humiliating to the kids not picked.

I mean, come on, our kids go to PE at least 3 times a week. So 3 times a week, the same 3 or 4 kids get to look forward to "you have to take xxxxx", "no you have to take him", "that sucks!"

Sorry but that is well beyond "life is not fair".

And my kids are all very athletic and reasonably popular so have never been the last to be picked for anything. But working as a teacher's assistant, I saw the kids that dreaded PE and the ones that came back to class in tears over this very thing.

 

[rgf207]

What makes you think that they never learn that "life is not fair"? Do you really think they go through life coasting on their achievements from 6th grade gym class? Just because they don't have the same challenges your kids have, doesn't mean they don't have challenges.

no but it's all part of life.

So let's say there is no more picking teams and the gym teacher picks the teams. Now what happens when the kids that would have been picked last that, now, never get the ball because they aren't good at sports. What do we do then? Do we mandate that each kid now needs to have 60 seconds of ball handling time per game so their feelings aren't hurt?

 

[luvmy3]

Yes I have kids (including one still in school), and while I'm sad when my kids feelings are hurt, I also understand that it's part of life. It's a learning and growing experience. I can feel bad for them, I can wish that it had a different outcome, I can hope that they get over it quickly, but what I can't do is change the fact that kids feelings are going to get hurt. I don't know ANYONE who has never had their feelings hurt or has never been embarrassed. They really do have to learn to deal with it.

This is how I feel, and its my job to make sure I raise my children to learn how to deal with this kind of stuff, because its going to happen in life and I can't keep forever running to their aide when things get tough for them. I consider that a huge disservice to them, more than getting picked last for the kickball team.

 

[luvsJack]

What makes you think that they never learn that "life is not fair"? Do you really think they go through life coasting on their achievements from 6th grade gym class? Just because they don't have the same challenges your kids have, doesn't mean they don't have challenges.

Its not about my kids. They are all athletic and all reasonably popular and have never had this problem. But I have witnessed what pain it can cause in other kids and it shouldn't be done.

I am sure the kids I am talking about do not have perfect lives, we all know that no one does.

But the fact of the matter is, life is not fair does not have to be taught by public humiliation. There are others ways to split a team in PE that doesn't leave anyone out.

 

[lillygator]

why don't we give the whole class trophies along with their A's!

 

[Auggietina]

I'm really curious to this question- those of you who think it's OK to pick teams in gym this way and think that the ones who are picked last should just get over it- do you have school aged kids? I'm guessing most of you do not. It's different when it is your own kid. It just is and there is no other way to explain it.

Yup I have a 13 year old daughter. She dances and cheers but can not play basketball, baseball, etc to save her life. She gets picked last. She is not losing sleep because she got picked last in gym. It's all in her attitude. She has fun and if she makes a goof of herself, so be it!

She does drama every summer. Once she got the lead role. Other times she was in the chorus. That's how life works.


I on the other hand, was always the first girl picked. And I can tell you, that being one of the first ones picked and having to choose that last person, it wasn't because they were bad in sports that we sighed about, usually the kid had a bad attitude and ruined the fun.

 

[Disneefun]

I am so sick of hearing (or reading) "life is not fair" "stop shielding your kids" That is BS!

These kids being normal 6th grade kids are going to either pick the other athletes because they want to win and its all about competition OR they pick their friends because its all about being popular. Neither of those choices teach anyone anything except maybe that to not get humiliated in gym class you have to be athletic or be one of the almighty "populars".

And in the work world the boss picks the people who want to win to do the big projects or get the promotions, or they pick the popular people/brown nosers because they are their friends. At work it's not always the person with the most talent or ability who gets picked to lead projects or get promoted. Frankly, there's a lot that goes on the work world that's pretty dang humiliating, too, and maybe being picked last in gym class once in awhile will make that easier to take. Being picked just because you're competitive or popular doesn't stop when school is over.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

So, if the school required all the parents to come in to play on a team and the parents were all picked this same way, you would be OK with it? You would be OK being one of the last ones picked in front of all the other parents b/c you were overweight,underweight, short, unpopular, dressed in heels, not dressed well enough, dressed in mouse ears or thought to be too nerdy to play sports b/c you were a scientist? You would stand there and think, oh well, this is a good lesson for me to know that I just don't have the best body or I am just not well liked or everybody knows that I have a PhD in chemistry and can't play kickball. It doesn't bother me at all. Come on, give me a break. You would be so humiliated!

 

[luvsJack]

no but it's all part of life.

So let's say there is no more picking teams and the gym teacher picks the teams. Now what happens when the kids that would have been picked last that, now, never get the ball because they aren't good at sports. What do we do then? Do we mandate that each kid now needs to have 60 seconds of ball handling time per game so their feelings aren't hurt?

You are missing the point. Its not like a non-athletic kid doesn't know that they are not good at the game. Most kids that are not very good whatever the game is don't want to handle the ball or get a chance to bat or have the ball thrown to them.

The point is they don't want to be standing there while the the team captains argue over who has be unlucky and take Kyle the Klutz on their team.

Actually there are at least a million things a PE teacher can do with a class without it getting into competition. It really isn't going to kill the athletes to do something that is not about winning.

 

[Becky2005]

I'm really curious to this question- those of you who think it's OK to pick teams in gym this way and think that the ones who are picked last should just get over it- do you have school aged kids? I'm guessing most of you do not. It's different when it is your own kid. It just is and there is no other way to explain it.

Yes. All 4 of mine are school-aged and apparently this has never bothered my kids because they haven't felt the need to bring it up.

I can almost guarantee you that my 9 year old will be chosen last if he hasn't been already. He has motor skill delays and coordination issues which he even gets pulled out of classes for OT. I'm pretty much assuming he is not going to be a good athlete. This year he managed to get 2 adult teeth knocked out playing a type of tag in gym class. Sigh -- frankly, I'll just be happy if he doesn't get injuried completely in gym class by the time he graduates from HS.

 

[babyrich]

I was the last kid picked lots of times. I couldnt catch or hit. I knew that. So it was not a surprise that they did not want me on the team. I didnt apologize for it either. My mom never felt bad, she said, who cares if you cant catch or hit. Just do your best.

If I were to play now as an adult, I would be picked last too. Geez, my husband would pick me last too!

I dont think either side is going to convince the other they are right. If those are your feelings, you are not wrong.