What do we do? So confused.....

[Sugar Jones]

My brothers family may be joining us on our trip next year. We plan on having 1 or 2 planned meals together and that's it. It will be way too hard and stressful to try to arrange daily plans that include 11 people.

 

[Jenny3]

I've been there, done that, and trust me when I say you definitely need your own family time!

We went with DH's ENTIRE family in 2004 - 19 of us. My SIL planned the whole thing and the rest of us were clueless and just went along. We stayed in 3 cabins at Fort Wilderness, went to every park together, had every meal together, etc. etc. It was awful. WAY too much family-togetherness. And we wasted a lot of time as we were always waiting for this to one to use the bathroom, or that one to grab a drink, or waiting while one kid was having a meltdown, etc.

Last year, we went again with my BIL and his family and agreed ahead of time that we would NOT have a repeat of our prior Disney vacation. We planned a couple meals together and stayed in the same resort, but that was it. If we wanted to meet up at a park, we did. If one family wanted to eat here or there, they did. Some nights we met in our resort (BWV) for some evening drinks. It made for a 100% better experience all around for everyone

Definitely have this conversation before you go. I would also encourage you to tell her to do her own research on the parks, restaurants, rides, etc so she isn't expecting you to plan every day for her. While it's great going with a Disney expert, that can be very stressful on you if your plans don't meet their expectations. And not fair to you at all. You need to enjoy your vacation too!

Good luck!

 

[rachael95]

So agree with everyone else, you need a lot of separate times. I would almost suggest only getting together for a few meals and be separate other times.

It really bothers me that they asked you to watch their kids but didn't offer something in return. We lost my DH's best friend because he kept asking us to watch his son but never wanted to do anything with us. He'd literally say "hey, what are you doing Saturday?" in a tone that made it sound like he wanted us to go out - then when we'd say "nothing, you want to do something?" he'd say "yes, can you watch my son?"

Even so, being on vacation is stressful and everyone will want to do separate things. Plus, only getting together for meals means you have something to talk about at dinner. Otherwise, you're just talking about things everyone experienced.

 

[dealia]

Ok. You need to have time for your family alone. BUT..I bet the 9Y/O "Tom boy" might surprise you and her mom. Ask her to do some princess things with your niece and you and have the boys go do some other things. My daughter has a friend (9yo) who would NEVER be caught dead in pink or a dress. Except when they went to a princess breakfast. She was so excited to meet Cinderella. Her mom was amazed.

 

[ktrask]

I think you should 100% take time for just the three of you. I also think you should set that expectation before leaving.

I've been with a big group of families, and we didn't discuss time together vs apart until we were there and doing things. People had different ideas and there were for sure hurt feelings and some frustrating parts of the trip. I actually won't travel with some of those people again because it was so rough.

Take the time for yourself and your DN and enjoy it. It's your vacation too

 

[1stTimeDisneyer]

Hi Everyone! I am so sorry I have not responded yet, but things have been pretty crazy. I have read and thought about what everyone has posted and I did talk to my friend. I told her how I felt and that I am looking for a Princess meal. She was okay with this and with us having our own time away from them. Our families are very different and we were both kinda worried, but neither had said anything.

So, that being said I have been on the lookout for a Princess meal since then and have been having very little luck. But here comes the kicker, DF now is thinking of doing a Princess meal with us, however, I cannot find one for just us, let alone all of us. So things seem to be okay and we may be splitting up for a few more meals since WCC is changing their menu to skillet only and DH and I are not big fans of it and DN is not really into BBQ.

I am also going to talk to DF about switching a few more of our reservations as I am not to happy with Le Cellier, even thought that was my choice and thinking about changing to Via Napoli and seeing if they want to join us or not.

Thank you everyone for your advice, it is very much appreciated!

 

[PaulaSue]

Gong 3 times now we have always gone with family and or friends and alaways planned on 1/2 day with others and 1/2 day just 5 of us. Worked great for us.

 

[Cynt]

I think you're overplanning to be w/ your friend and her family and making sure they have a fantastic time. Plan two or three dinner/lunches and leave it at that. BLOT: STOP PLANNING to spend every waking moment with her. I believe you're setting yourself up for disappointment. "X" your plan except for two or three dinners and go and enjoy your DH and DN. If you happen to cross paths w/ DF, cool. If not, no worries. You're concentrating on pleasing DF instead of DN. Flip the script. Put DN first and purchase the passporter for DF and go and have a good time.

I'm going with my family this summer for a week to Disney. There will be 11 of us ranging in age from 70 to 5. 3 of us have been to Disney. These are my plans: two family dinners. Yep, that's it. I'm sure we'll hangout and be together more but I'm stressing this is YOUR family vacation. Enjoy your family. We're flying into MCO and renting two cars. Renting two condo/townhouse w/ a shuttle to the Disney Parks that way we'll have an early shift, late shift and fly by the seat of your pants shift but everyone will be able to get around whenever they want to go to the parks.

Seperation is a good thing. So you can enjoy the times when you're together.