what do i do with this report card? (5) As, (2) Bs and a

[becka]

Just a thought but have you asked your DS about the grade? I doubt that a 10 y/o would not have some idea about why a grade would be that low. Surely the grade was based on at least one test or a few assignments. I doubt the teacher based the entire grade just on classroom discussions, etc. Ask him what assignments/test were given and what his grades were. Does he keep/bring home assignements? Does he have them for you to look over?

I would certainly not punish him for the low grade unless you are sure that it was because of his own actions such as not turning in homework, getting in trouble in class, etc. Until you can talk to the teacher and get some answers from your DS I would just let him know that you are looking into the situation and that he should tell you everything he knows now before you talk to the teacher or if he is found to have been withholding the truth (aka lying by ommission about failed tests, etc.) from you then the punishment will be more severe. After you have all of the facts then decide an appropriate punishment (if necessary).

 

[AnnMorin]

I am shocked that the teacher did not contact you or that your son did not bring home papers that showed he was failing. A 30 is an extreemly low F it is not like a 60 so he could not have just blown one test. I would be very concerned as to why the teacher let this go on and on without sending home a note or a phone call. I would also have been disapointed in my son that he did not tell me as he failed tests over and over which would have to have been to case to get a 30 (it is not like you could have a bunch of 80's and then get one 20 to pull down your average) he had to have known that he was not doing well.
That said I would hold off on the punishment until I spoke with the teacher-I would call her at home though I wouldn't wait a week. As for the good grades, I would praise him on those. I don't know if you give rewards for report cards in your family but I would still reward the good grades as I normally do and hold off on the F consequeses until I knew the whole story.

 

[imgoingtodisney]

I did try calling the teacher last night. When she answered she said there was noone there by that name.
And I do usually give 5 disney dollars and take him to Chuckees for his report card. Maybe I'll still do that when I get home.

 

[AnnMorin]

Originally posted by imgoingtodisney
I did try calling the teacher last night. When she answered she said there was noone there by that name.
And I do usually give 5 disney dollars and take him to Chuckees for his report card. Maybe I'll still do that when I get home.

She said there was no one there by that name? Are you sure that you had the right number? My goodness maybe she is a loon

 

[aprincessmom]

I did try calling the teacher last night. When she answered she said there was noone there by that name.

Perhaps she did that because you were calling her at home on the eve of school vacation. Most teachers do not give out their home phone numbers nor would I dream of calling my DD's teacher at home to discuss a school matter. I'd wait until regular business hours.

 

[imgoingtodisney]

Yes I also considered the fact that it was the eve of april break. I also considered the fact that at that moment DH had taken away all priviledges until we could speak with the teacher. If there was a mistake this kid was looking at loosing his Apr break and that could never be replaced. So in desperation I did try calling. Thank goodness DH decided this morning to change his punishment to just tv priviledges until we speak with the teacher.

In the past I have spoken with DSs homeroom/math/ela teacher at her home and she has told me to call her anytime if necessary.

 

[becka]

Have you talked to your DS yet?

 

[imgoingtodisney]

Yup and he says other than a 65 on a major test they had (and we knew about) that he doesnt understand the 30 either. I honestly feel he has always shown us all his test results because we have told him that to hide something is worse when we do find out. Ive asked him if there was a test the day he was out sick and he said no. I really have no idea where this 30 came from.

 

[Judy from Boise]

then I guess i just am compelled to ask why is it acceptable to punish a child based on information you can't even validate , and which may or may not have any bearing on how hard he tried ,and cetainly is not consistent with his overall performance ?

 

[bumcat]

I agree with Judy on this one. Will your husband compensate him for his loss if it turns out it was a mistake on the teachers part? Okay I'm half serious and half joking on that part.

 

[rae519]

Ann - to answer the question "is she a loon"?

YES!

Hasn't it been obvious?!!!!!!!


Rae

 

[SonjaB]

Well said, Judy.

 

[one_cat]

Here's how I look at it: It's his grades, not mine. Unless the kid needs some serious attitude adjustment or is lazy I would let the grade itself be the punishment. The one F I got in Junior high was devestating. I never let it happen again.

 

[disneefamily]

Disnee Dad Says.......................................DH is jumping the gun, and you can tell him that comes from a conservative, you must get fantastic grades or else father. The whole purpose of poetry is to write something that no one else can figure out!
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. LSD or innocent child drawing? Even the people involved couldn't decide, or get their story straight.
And compensation is no joke, if the teacher made a mistake, then dad owes bigtime. And not just a oops. Sons favorite activity and more and some cash!
DD once had all A's and a B- for 79%. (In my day that was a C!), asked the teacher and found out 79 was really 97, and DD had straight A's!
Waiting to hear "the rest of the story."

 

[Robinrs]

Originally posted by disneefamily
Disnee Dad Says.......................................DH is jumping the gun, and you can tell him that comes from a conservative, you must get fantastic grades or else father.

Are you proud of that?

I was an A+ student all my life. My parents NEVER demanded it of me, I did it to make them PROUD of me. It was a pleasure to reward parents who had done so much for me with all I can offer them besides respect and loyalty.

Fantastic grades are based on more than the child's abilities, and are sometimes out of their control. Human beings give these marks and human beings are flawed.

Threatening a child to succeed or grounding them for one grade is tantamount to dictating them to be perfect and that only makes them resent the source. We cannot control our children, we can influence them, love them and lead them. My devotion to my parents to their death was based on the fact that they trusted me to do MY best and even when I faltered they checked every aspect before they punished me, and they would if it was warranted.

Children deserve that much.

 

[snoopy]

Excellent post, Robin. I agree wholeheartedly.

 

[SonjaB]

Nicely said, Robin.

Around here, I expect my children to do their best out of respect for themselves, not for me. I tell them to give it their best shot and let the grades fall where they may. In my book a hard-won "C" is just as good as an easy "A". I think teaching my kids the discipline of applying yourself to a task is important (rather than skating by on whatever little you can get away with), but what's on that piece of paper doesn't define how hard they worked. What kind of men they grow up to be isn't decided by what one person thought of their poetry.

 

[Wendy]

Originally posted by Robinrs


Are you proud of that?

I was an A+ student all my life. My parents NEVER demanded it of me, I did it to make them PROUD of me. It was a pleasure to reward parents who had done so much for me with all I can offer them besides respect and loyalty.

Fantastic grades are based on more than the child's abilities, and are sometimes out of their control. Human beings give these marks and human beings are flawed.

Threatening a child to succeed or grounding them for one grade is tantamount to dictating them to be perfect and that only makes them resent the source. We cannot control our children, we can influence them, love them and lead them. My devotion to my parents to their death was based on the fact that they trusted me to do MY best and even when I faltered they checked every aspect before they punished me, and they would if it was warranted.

Children deserve that much. [/B]

Robin, that's GREAT that you were so inclined to get good grades on your own. However, kids don't all fit the same mold and that certainly won't work for every kid. Trust, me. I speak from experience. I got grounded in school if I brought home less than A's, and the same applies to my kids. If I didn't know I would get privileges taken away, I would never had graduated with the grades I did. I knew the material, and the grades just weren't important to me. I would never have done any homework if it wasn't for my parents checking my grades. Thank goodness the grades were important to my parents. I was more than capable of getting straight A's, but also was all about having fun and being a kid and doing the least amount of work possible.

My 7 year old is exactly like me. He is exceptionally intelligent, and we hold him to a very high standard. If he gets bad grades on something, it's not because he's not understanding something, it's because he's just not trying. He wants to finish early to go play or read and doesn't care about his grades. He thinks as long as he knows it (which he does) that the grades don't matter. Wrong! We reward straight A's with meals out, extra TV time, etc, but we also take things away if he brings home a B. He's not your average child, though.

On the rare occassion that his teacher makes a mistake on something, he points it out to us and we set it straight with the teacher. Of course we would never punish him for something that wasn't his fault. Trust me, Ryan loves to find those spelling errors, grammatical errors, or grading errors by his teacher.

Every child is different, and each parent must learn to accept those differences and parent the way they see fit for their child. What works for my child, wouldn't work for most and may not work for your child. Ryan is a fantastic kid, but as every child does, he also has his flaws. No child is perfect, and our job as parents is to try our best to bring out the best in them.

 

[Judy from Boise]

But if the outcome we desire from education is knowledge....why would the grade even be important if you know he knows it ? Wouldn't time for more reading , more social skill development and activities lead to an even better rounded person, than someone who spend their free time doing busy work that isn't producing new knowledge ?

Just asking, I have no problem with homework or grades per se.....but only as far as they produce the outcomes they are supposed to.
I hate the thought of training my children that meeting externally set standards is the way to love and recognition. I want to help them discover the self-satisfaction of doing their best and being proud of the results, and as Robin said, sometimes giving your efforts as a mark of respect for someone else you love.

The only time I give any "firm guidance" is if the effort grade is less than satisfactory.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I have a question for those parents that ground their kids if they get a grade lower that an A.

What happens if a child has done his/her best and only gets a B,C,or something less?

I think when our kids are in elem. school is very easy for the bright ones to get straight As. When they get into Jr. High and High School the works starts to get harder, the teachers (if you're lucky) start to demand much more for them. It's very possible for a child to work hard and still not get all As. Should that child be punished???

My rule for my son is as long as you are doing your best I'm happy with what ever grades you get. If he's not turning in work or does not study for exams and then get low grades, he gets punished.

I also expect him to work hard in all classes not just the major ones.