What Can She Do?

[luvsJack]

1. They are one and the same

2. This I can agree with. Everyone. Your SIL, her son, his wife and the woman who may be pg.

3. No slams to you. It's understandable that you would feel that way, but I never said anything about YOU.

Ok, sorry, You really didn't slam me. I said that wrong. I just felt the need to defend my sil.

And actually its not that I don't think everyone is right. She didn't handle it right. I think she was right to want to seperate the child from the situation. But she should have called and offered to let him come and stay with her.

The reason I said "not an affair but a one night stand" because to me an affair is a bit more involved. He had talked to this woman a few times, they went to a bar, drank to much and he went home with her. No real involvment at all.

 

[C.Ann]

Goodness, I never realized I would get so slammed for something that isn't even ME!

I certainly hope you don't think that my post was "slamming" you, because it wasn't - at all.. Actually, I think you're a very nice person..

However, after you posted additional info - along with my many, many years of all sorts of weird life experiences - my "gut" is telling me that this woman is lying to you; exaggerating; and likely not telling you the whole story.. It just might be in your best interest to back away from her and this situation now.. Simply tell her it's getting "too personal" - that you're hearing things that really should go no further than your DN's home (which is actually true).. You really can't "do" anything to change the outcome, so maybe it's time to take a step back?

I'm really sorry if you thought that I was slamming you - in any way.. Unless I somehow worded my post wrong, my comments were about her - not you..

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Is it possible to give her some advice?

By taking the child and stating she won't return him until AB&C are done, she is walking a very fine line.

I know you said the mother's child has mental health issues, but I am sure she can appear to be just fine. All it would take is one phone call to the police to say that her husband's mother refuses to return her son. Plus then she could say in court or whatever, my DH cheated on me, another young lady is pregnant and his Mom took my child without my consent. If she is worried about not seeing the child, she is definitely on the right path to doing it. Lawyers will spin anything.

If she really wants to help, she needs to bring the little boy back, take a peek in the house to see how her DIL is doing. If she is still acting weird, she should call CPS immediately and tell them it is an emergency matter.

Yes, the child may get removed, but she can go and try to get temporary custody while everything is worked out.

My best advice is to give her a "good" talking too. Tell her you are not judging, but explain what it looks like from the outside looking in.

Whatever happens, I hope all works out for her and her grandchild, no matter what the actual solution is.

 

[2binak]

In some states, grandparents do have the right to file for visitation with their grandchildren so there may very well be something that she could do about it.

What state(s)? All the case I have heard on the news always ended with the GP getting no visitation. The parents hold all the cards.

Just because you haven't heard of a case on the news doesn't mean it doesn't happen
http://family.findlaw.com/child-custody/custody-more/state-grandparent-custody.html

 

[Nancyg56]

IMHO, if this is her grandchild, it IS her business.

As others have said, the child is a concern but unfortunately, the chile is not her business;

Do you think its better for the child to stay with all that going on? He loves his grandmom and loves being at her house. She isn't in another state, just down the road a little. They have a LOT that needs to be straightened out and he doesn't have to be a party to it all.

I don't think she really meant she would keep him forever or anything. She is just giving them some privacy and him some space.

I see this whole thing differently. I would have done the same thing. And kidnapping is such a volatile term............the parents can claim him any time, they choose not to. Your DSIL gave these two nitwits time to figure out what tehy are going to do with their mess without the little oe in the middle of all that ruckus.

I get so irritated when adults act like buffoons whilel their children are stranded int eh middle of teh circus and all one hears is that teh parents have parental rights. Yup. They do. However becasue they can does nto mean that they should. In this case the kid was not kidnapped. He was taken into his grandparents home,where he already spends a lot of time. He is not held hostage. He is simple removed from a stressful situatiion that he cannot possible understand.

If the whako parents decide to bring him home they can..........the SIL cannot stop them.They both agreed that he is better off with his Grandma right now.

I hope that this mess gets straightened out.

 

[snowywhite89]

Did your SIL return her 4 year old GS to his parents?

 

[cm8]

I think she should back away and mind her own business. This is her son's business not hers.

She should absolutely not try to or to talk to the "other woman" it is not her place and If I was that woman she would be facing harassment or a restraining order if she tried to go to where I worked and looked for me. If the woman does not want the son to know about the baby guess what he won't and neither will she. Her son should have kept his pants on or been smarter in 9th grade health class then he wouldn't have this problem.

Actually I would be so disgusted with my son he would be getting an earful from me.

If she wants to do anything useful she should be making sure her grandchild she does have is being adequately cared for physically and mentally and love that poor child to death because with two parents like they are living with they will need all the help and love they can get.

ITA!