What are your thoughts on asking for books in lieu of cards for a baby shower?

[luvsJack]

I do. On a spreadsheet. I respect my money and budget just about every penny. Every penny has a job.

I budget a certain amount for family and close friends, and certain amount for co-workers and not-so-close friends.

I like the book idea, though. But a $20 book would put a dent in my $50 budget for a co-worker.

I used to do that, sort of, and I found that I was picking gifts by their cost rather than what I wanted to give them or the person really needed. So now its an "ish" amount. I rarely go over by much but it stops me from focusing on the exact amount. I have a line item amount for "gifts, not Christmas" and it includes family, friends, co workers, whatever. Sometimes I may spend less on my own child's birthday than I do on a co-worker's shower gift because its the gift not the amount. My son's birthday is today. I will spend about $40 because that's the cost of the tickets I know he will enjoy. Next wedding shower we have at work, I may spend $50 because I want to get her the table linen set that is on her registry.

Same principal, we just do it a bit differently.

 

[cabanafrau]

Well, that would be your choice but its not required. You can find wonderful books that are cheap or perhaps one even already owns. I love Eric Carle, Dr Suess and Jan Brett for children's books. They aren't hard to find even in hard back for cheap.

I used to do that, sort of, and I found that I was picking gifts by their cost rather than what I wanted to give them or the person really needed. So now its an "ish" amount. I rarely go over by much but it stops me from focusing on the exact amount. I have a line item amount for "gifts, not Christmas" and it includes family, friends, co workers, whatever. Sometimes I may spend less on my own child's birthday than I do on a co-worker's shower gift because its the gift not the amount. My son's birthday is today. I will spend about $40 because that's the cost of the tickets I know he will enjoy. Next wedding shower we have at work, I may spend $50 because I want to get her the table linen set that is on her registry.

Same principal, we just do it a bit differently.

Someone selecting a book based on it being the one they really want to give doesn't meet with your approval. But when you wish to choose a specific item off of a registry because it's what you really want to give it's all good?

It's the same thing with different preferences IMO.

 

[luvsJack]

Someone selecting a book based on it being the one they really want to give doesn't meet with your approval. But when you wish to choose a specific item off of a registry because it's what you really want to give it's all good?

It's the same thing with different preferences IMO.

Where did anyone say anything about approval? Just because I am having a discussion with someone doesn't mean I approve or disapprove of what they do. Maybe you are different?

For the first post, I clearly said it was her choice. She can buy whatever books she wants and if she wants to buy a $30 book for a baby, she should, by all means, go for it. But that doesn't make the books in lieu of cards a bad idea nor does it mean that every time she gets an invite that asks for books she needs to spend $30 on a book.

The second post you quoted was about budgeting for gifts and what I stated is exactly what I do, but its MY choice to do it that way. And like I said to that poster, its basically the same principal as her budgeting just a bit different method to keep ME (not her, not anyone else) from focusing on the cost of an item.

 

[Moliphino]

For the first post, I clearly said it was her choice. She can buy whatever books she wants and if she wants to buy a $30 book for a baby, she should, by all means, go for it. But that doesn't make the books in lieu of cards a bad idea nor does it mean that every time she gets an invite that asks for books she needs to spend $30 on a book.

When did I say books in lieu of cards was a bad idea? I think it's cute, my cousin did it. But if I do spend say $10+ dollars on a book it will likely mean I spend a bit less on the rest of the gift.

As for the $30 book, that was in response to posts that seemed to say spending more than $10 on a children's book is ridiculous. Some books are worth it.

Why on earth is everyone spending so much on children's books?

Why are you spending $20 on a children’s book?

 

[DisLiss]

Sure you can find cheap books, but what if you'd prefer to find something special?

Nope, LOL! You never know which kid is going to be the one that eats the books (my youngest), or colors in the books (my sister), or accidentally throws up on the book (me). I feel the same way about clothing. My kids didn't suddenly become perfectly neat creatures just because I splurged on an outfit. They were every bit as likely to wreck a fifty dollar outfit as a fifty cent outfit.

Seriously, though, many folks here are complaining about the added expense of a book, and/or the added hassle of purchasing a book, so they don't sound like they want to get find & purchase something special. They sound like they want to get something inexpensive with little added bother.

 

[Summer2018]

https://www.target.com/p/the-very-hungry-caterpillar/-/A-11400718 $5.60. But again, as others have mentioned, a used book, as specifically mentioned on the card in the OP, can be less than a dollar or even free.

I paid that at a local bookstore. I like to support small businesses.

 

[luvsJack]

When did I say books in lieu of cards was a bad idea? I think it's cute, my cousin did it. But if I do spend say $10+ dollars on a book it will likely mean I spend a bit less on the rest of the gift.

As for the $30 book, that was in response to posts that seemed to say spending more than $10 on a children's book is ridiculous. Some books are worth it.

Sorry, you are right, you weren't one that implied that it was. My apologies.

And, hey, I get it about the $30 book. But, honestly, its whether its worth it TO YOU. Too many ways to buy books that are just as worthy for a lot cheaper. The point is, you don't have to spend $30 to get a nice book for a child. If you do, its your choice to do so. I like to give books the child can grow up with, so I tend to buy award winning books by authors that I like. And I still don't spend even $10 on a book. But again, its my choice to purchase the books I do. If someone else would prefer to buy all board books that the baby can chew on them, then that's their choice and there is nothing wrong with it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I paid that at a local bookstore. I like to support small businesses.

While I hear ya you were misrepresenting your argument regarding book pricing

 

[Moliphino]

Of course you don't have to spend a lot. The book I bought for my cousin's baby was $3.50 on Amazon (by pure luck, Roxaboxen was one of my favorites as a kid and it just happened to be available for cheap). But sometimes the books you want aren't that cheap and in that case it makes sense to also count it as part of the gift cost.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

It can be a used book, or a dollar store book, and it’s a request, not a demand.

Why on earth is everyone spending so much on children's books?

Why are you spending $20 on a children’s book?

Personally, for the book in lieu of cards request with a message written inside, I would prefer giving a nice, new, hardcopy of something the kid will enjoy for many years and will be worth saving, and is unlikely to be a duplicate given. Something like a nice hardbound collection of Grimm's Fairy tales or The Missing Piece. Those are both in the $10-20 range, and for some baby showers, I've only had a budget of $20 or $25. That would certainly make a huge dent in it.

I know books can be found for far less, but I think for this particular request, it's better to give something nicer. If you're writing a message for the baby in the book, that makes it more like a keepsake to hold on to. I don't want mom to feel guilty throwing away the book I wrote a sentimental message to her baby in because it was just a dollar store board book that the baby outgrew. Others clearly think about this differently, and that's fine. I've just never personally been one who will buy any cheap book just to check something off a list. DD had a new book exchange at school one year for Christmas. We spent 2 hours in the bookstore looking for just the perfect book that would interest boys and girls and would hopefully not be cast aside after a quick read through.

 

[MrsDuck]

We did this. My son got so many awesome books! I love it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Personally, for the book in lieu of cards request with a message written inside, I would prefer giving a nice, new, hardcopy of something the kid will enjoy for many years and will be worth saving, and is unlikely to be a duplicate given. Something like a nice hardbound collection of Grimm's Fairy tales or The Missing Piece. Those are both in the $10-20 range, and for some baby showers, I've only had a budget of $20 or $25. That would certainly make a huge dent in it.

I know books can be found for far less, but I think for this particular request, it's better to give something nicer. If you're writing a message for the baby in the book, that makes it more like a keepsake to hold on to. I don't want mom to feel guilty throwing away the book I wrote a sentimental message to her baby in because it was just a dollar store board book that the baby outgrew. Others clearly think about this differently, and that's fine. I've just never personally been one who will buy any cheap book just to check something off a list. DD had a new book exchange at school one year for Christmas. We spent 2 hours in the bookstore looking for just the perfect book that would interest boys and girls and would hopefully not be cast aside after a quick read through.

I think the issue becomes looking at something and seeing the viewpoint that price indicates niceness. Card pricing is a bit different just how its structured--I go to Walmart and pay the same price for the same card as I would at Hallmark for example at least if we're doing tit for tat (meaning excluding coupons or deals/special promotions).

Books however can be had for many different pricing through a variety of venues. Certaintly sometimes books may only be found at X place or you may need to buy it at a higher price at Y place if you're strapped on time but just because I bought X book on Amazon for less than it was elsewhere does not mean I don't think the book is nice or that it's the book I want.

We do this in our day to day lives for sure but there's not a big need IMO to knock Dollar Store or whatnot for certain things (the steaks from the other thread...yes lol) but I go all the time to get gift bags and tissue paper. I may need to rethink my circle of friends/acquaintences if they are going to look down on that

 

[Magical2017]

At my shower, the book was the gift, not the card. Some included other items, but the focus was on books. When I attend book showers, I often purchase more than one (soft cover baby book, board book, and/or hardcover picture book). The parent can put the nice hardcover book out of reach and use it for read aloud time if they wish, while the studier board books can easily be kept within reach of busy toddlers who scribble and tear. I usually add a few small items in with the books in a little basket that can be reused. I just include a gift receipt in case there are duplicates. I have never heard of the book being the card, plus a main gift, but however it is done is fine with me.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think the issue becomes looking at something and seeing the viewpoint that price indicates niceness. Card pricing is a bit different just how its structured--I go to Walmart and pay the same price for the same card as I would at Hallmark for example at least if we're doing tit for tat (meaning excluding coupons or deals/special promotions).

Books however can be had for many different pricing through a variety of venues. Certaintly sometimes books may only be found at X place or you may need to buy it at a higher price at Y place if you're strapped on time but just because I bought X book on Amazon for less than it was elsewhere does not mean I don't think the book is nice or that it's the book I want.

We do this in our day to day lives for sure but there's not a big need IMO to knock Dollar Store or whatnot for certain things (the steaks from the other thread...yes lol) but I go all the time to get gift bags and tissue paper. I may need to rethink my circle of friends/acquaintences if they are going to look down on that

I don’t the card prices would be different, don’t cards have the prices printed on the back?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I don’t the card prices would be different, don’t cards have the prices printed on the back?

Yes, that's what I was referring to. In terms of what covering other bases I can see where people opt to purchase cards made from a more mom and pop feel meaning they aren't made by Hallmark or any other major one but rather more homemade feel--those wouldn't have the same pricing structure as the vast others. I included the caveat of sales and promotions because it's possible to get a card for less at one retailer over another with that (for example Free Card Fridays, buy 3 cards get $3 off, sales/clearance on boxed sets, etc) but I was excluding that in terms of comparing pricing structures with books.

When it comes to books you have the List Price AND then you have what the retailer sells it for. Sometimes the retailer sells it for the List Price and other times they don't.

 

[LSUmiss]

Nope, LOL! You never know which kid is going to be the one that eats the books (my youngest), or colors in the books (my sister), or accidentally throws up on the book (me). I feel the same way about clothing. My kids didn't suddenly become perfectly neat creatures just because I splurged on an outfit. They were every bit as likely to wreck a fifty dollar outfit as a fifty cent outfit.

Seriously, though, many folks here are complaining about the added expense of a book, and/or the added hassle of purchasing a book, so they don't sound like they want to get find & purchase something special. They sound like they want to get something inexpensive with little added bother.

My DS currently eats & rips books & has no interest in being read to. We did the for my shower too & I loved it. With the way he is with books now, I just don’t let him have access to the obviously sentimental or nice books.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

I think the issue becomes looking at something and seeing the viewpoint that price indicates niceness. Card pricing is a bit different just how its structured--I go to Walmart and pay the same price for the same card as I would at Hallmark for example at least if we're doing tit for tat (meaning excluding coupons or deals/special promotions).

Books however can be had for many different pricing through a variety of venues. Certaintly sometimes books may only be found at X place or you may need to buy it at a higher price at Y place if you're strapped on time but just because I bought X book on Amazon for less than it was elsewhere does not mean I don't think the book is nice or that it's the book I want.

We do this in our day to day lives for sure but there's not a big need IMO to knock Dollar Store or whatnot for certain things (the steaks from the other thread...yes lol) but I go all the time to get gift bags and tissue paper. I may need to rethink my circle of friends/acquaintences if they are going to look down on that

I was not in any way meaning to knock Dollar Tree. I find great things in there all the time and I was just as grateful receiving a 5 pack of Dollar Tree diapers from one diaper shower guest as I was receiving two mega boxes of Huggies from another guest. I'm also a huge bargain shopper, usually working off of a crazy tight budget, clipping coupons and buying generic brands and in no way look down on people for what they ever choose to spend/gift, etc.

I was only trying to say that I view asking for books in lieu of cards as looking for a keepsake (especially considering it's usually asked to write something inside) to hold onto along with their Baby/Memories book and other special baby stuff. Inexpensive baby board books are still nice, but they aren't something I would personally hang onto for 18 years for the sentimental message inside. The style of books I would choose to gift just tend to be more expensive. I would absolutely bargain shop and try to get it cheaper, but I'm not likely to choose a book I don't like as much just to save a few dollars like I would with most "consumables" I spend money on.

If I'm buying a book just to read and pass on to Goodwill, then I go for used library books, garage sales, etc. If it's something I plan to hold onto and add to my collection (how I view the baby shower book request), then I'm usually looking for something specific, want it new/hardback so it's in perfect condition and will last longer, and will spend more (though of course still look for the best price available).

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I was not in any way meaning to knock Dollar Tree. I find great things in there all the time and I was just as grateful receiving a 5 pack of Dollar Tree diapers from one diaper shower guest as I was receiving two mega boxes of Huggies from another guest. I'm also a huge bargain shopper, usually working off of a crazy tight budget, clipping coupons and buying generic brands and in no way look down on people for what they ever choose to spend/gift, etc.

I was only trying to say that I view asking for books in lieu of cards as looking for a keepsake (especially considering it's usually asked to write something inside) to hold onto along with their Baby/Memories book and other special baby stuff. Inexpensive baby board books are still nice, but they aren't something I would personally hang onto for 18 years for the sentimental message inside. The style of books I would choose to gift just tend to be more expensive. I would absolutely bargain shop and try to get it cheaper, but I'm not likely to choose a book I don't like as much just to save a few dollars like I would with most "consumables" I spend money on.

If I'm buying a book just to read and pass on to Goodwill, then I go for used library books, garage sales, etc. If it's something I plan to hold onto and add to my collection (how I view the baby shower book request), then I'm usually looking for something specific, want it new/hardback so it's in perfect condition and will last longer, and will spend more (though of course still look for the best price available).

Well I was responding to this comment in respects to the Dollar store

I don't want mom to feel guilty throwing away the book I wrote a sentimental message to her baby in because it was just a dollar store board book that the baby outgrew.

I take a lot of time looking at just the right stuff to give people. Who cares if I got it at the Dollar store. It's the thought that counts right?

 

[luvsJack]

I was not in any way meaning to knock Dollar Tree. I find great things in there all the time and I was just as grateful receiving a 5 pack of Dollar Tree diapers from one diaper shower guest as I was receiving two mega boxes of Huggies from another guest. I'm also a huge bargain shopper, usually working off of a crazy tight budget, clipping coupons and buying generic brands and in no way look down on people for what they ever choose to spend/gift, etc.

I was only trying to say that I view asking for books in lieu of cards as looking for a keepsake (especially considering it's usually asked to write something inside) to hold onto along with their Baby/Memories book and other special baby stuff. Inexpensive baby board books are still nice, but they aren't something I would personally hang onto for 18 years for the sentimental message inside. The style of books I would choose to gift just tend to be more expensive. I would absolutely bargain shop and try to get it cheaper, but I'm not likely to choose a book I don't like as much just to save a few dollars like I would with most "consumables" I spend money on.

If I'm buying a book just to read and pass on to Goodwill, then I go for used library books, garage sales, etc. If it's something I plan to hold onto and add to my collection (how I view the baby shower book request), then I'm usually looking for something specific, want it new/hardback so it's in perfect condition and will last longer, and will spend more (though of course still look for the best price available).

While I do think that one can get a certain kind of book at the Dollar Tree to fit the bill to replace a card, I don’t think one is going to find a truly special book there. OTOH, I don’t agree that one must spend as much as $20 to get the kind of book you are talking about.

IMO, a keepsake book is a book that for whatever reason becomes special to your child. For Dd, that was the Eric Carle book her grandmother gave her (The Angry Ladybug) and The Giving Tree. Neither book was expensive. Neither cost even $10. Both are hardback books that have lasted 21 years so far.

Honestly it would seem silly to me to buy an expensive book for a child expecting it to become a keepsake when the child may not even like the story later on.

Someone bought Dd a pretty edition of Alice in Wonderland for her birthday one year. Thinking her love of Disney and fairy tales would make her love the book. She didn’t like it at all. I donated it to the school library. And the gift giver probably spent 20 or more for this book. Pretty on the shelf but not a keepsake because it wasn’t a loved book.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

Well I was responding to this comment in respects to the Dollar store


I take a lot of time looking at just the right stuff to give people. Who cares if I got it at the Dollar store. It's the thought that counts right?

It's absolutely the thought that counts, but in general, the books I see at the dollar store are nice, but not the kinds I'd personally consider keeping forever. They are more of the stuff that a baby/toddler is likely to eventually outgrow. If I put a message in a book to gift as a keepsake, personally I'd choose something longer lasting that I'd want to keep forever.

While I do think that one can get a certain kind of book at the Dollar Tree to fit the bill to replace a card, I don’t think one is going to find a truly special book there. OTOH, I don’t agree that one must spend as much as $20 to get the kind of book you are talking about.

IMO, a keepsake book is a book that for whatever reason becomes special to your child. For Dd, that was the Eric Carle book her grandmother gave her (The Angry Ladybug) and The Giving Tree. Neither book was expensive. Neither cost even $10. Both are hardback books that have lasted 21 years so far.

Honestly it would seem silly to me to buy an expensive book for a child expecting it to become a keepsake when the child may not even like the story later on.

Someone bought Dd a pretty edition of Alice in Wonderland for her birthday one year. Thinking her love of Disney and fairy tales would make her love the book. She didn’t like it at all. I donated it to the school library. And the gift giver probably spent 20 or more for this book. Pretty on the shelf but not a keepsake because it wasn’t a loved book.

I do agree with this. I stated earlier that I'm not a fan of receiving books as gifts for myself or the kids and as much as I love the idea of gifting books, I'd rather not gift books to others in most cases. Reading is just about my favorite thing in the world, but everyone has such different tastes and interests and a book is a wasted purchase if it will never get read. The two times I have received the book shower request, I'm sure I way over thought it, trying to consider what the parents might enjoy reading to the kids, what are timeless classics most kids will enjoy for many years and may want to eventually read to their kids, etc.

As for prices, it really can have so many variances. While I do shop around and often find nice books for less than $10, sometimes the specific title I want can't be found that low.