What age to stay not need babysitter?

[Laurabearz]

I just looked up Illinois too and it's loose... not a solid 14. phew lol

 

[quasar4legs]

I think this is a tough decision as you need to be reasonably confident that the child can make the right decision in an exceptional situation and it will really depend on the individual.

We had the incident in our street when a 12 year old girl ignored knocks on the door (as she was instructed to do by her parents) when the police were evacuating because of impending bush fires. She hid in the house and had thought that someone was pretending to be a police officer when they knocked on the door.

In another situation I dropped into a friend's house one afternoon before she arrived home from work and her children 10 and 11 opened the door without checking who it was. My friend was horrified as the kids had been drilled about never opening the door, but did it anyway.

Good luck finding the 'right' time, it is never easy being a parent.

 

[mommyof2princesses]

We started leaving dd15 alone for bits of time when she was 9. I had just had another baby and the quick trips to the dr across the street is where we started. Then progressed into staying home while I went food shopping with the baby or had to run to the post office. When she was 12 she started babysitting other people's kids and her sister.

On the other hand, dd7 will not be staying home by herself anytime soon. She isn't as mature. There are no age limits in Virginia. We are from NC and although that latchkey website says 8, it must be new because we researched it before we left our dd home and there was no age.

We know people who have kids who are 12 and 13 and won't let them stay home even for an hour by themselves. Not sure why...they do eventually need to learn some independence!

 

[dogluva]

I know someone who won't let her twin 7th graders stay home alone for more than maybe an hour. They get a sitter(family only, they don't pay for one) to even go out to dinner 5 minutes away. I know it's none of my business but I'm bored waiting to go out so I'm putting this out there for opinions. BTW, they are typical kids...no special issues.


Ooops. meant to post this on the community board.

My daughters babysat other kids at 12. Not for the whole day, but for a few hours. I don't think my son could have handled that until 14.

I let my sons stay home by themselves, they are almost 11 and 12. They cannot stay alone with my 7 year old daughter because there would be blood. I don't think the almost 11 year old can stay alone for more than an hour but I would have no problem leaving the 12 year old home alone for more than a few hours (maybe not the whole day-haven't had to yet).

 

[C&G'sMama]

We just started leaving DD(10) home with DS (7) Only for a couple of hours at a time and during the day. We take one cell phone with us and leave the other at home. We pay both of them. Her for babysitting, him for being good. If either complains about the other neither gets paid. We've never had a problem. I learned that from a friend who has 3 kids close together who are all in their late 20s now. Again, she never had a problem.

 

[tzolkin]

My oldest (turning 12 this week, but in 7th grade) just started staying home alone this year. I just went back to work after being a SAHM. DD gets off the bus 2:45-3:00 and DH is usually gets home around the same time. Our younger DD gets off the bus around 4:00. One or two days a week DH is on call, so he does not get home early. I leave work at 4:00, so on those days DD is alone for about an hour and then watches her sister for 1/2 an hour. (If older DD stays for an after school activity, she rides the later bus home with her sister.)

Prior to this year, we would not have been able to do this.
Although my state has no regulations, the bus drivers in our district will not let any elementary school aged children (K-6) off the bus if no one is home. Before 4th grade, the driver had to actually see me and after that she would have DD wave that an adult was home if she didn't see my car in the driveway. They stop at every single house and if no one is home they will take the child back to school.

This year the driver asked me to provide a note that older DD could get off the bus when no one is home and that younger DD could get off as long as older DD was present. She said this was necessary to have on hand for a substitute driver, so I guess they need parental consent to leave the child unsupervised regardless of the age/grade.

 

[mjkacmom]

Although my state has no regulations, the bus drivers in our district will not let any elementary school aged children (K-6) off the bus if no one is home. Before 4th grade, the driver had to actually see me and after that she would have DD wave that an adult was home if she didn't see my car in the driveway.

Interesting - our kids are let out of school, and K - 2, the teachers will make sure a parent is there, but you can write a note stating that they are walking home, and then they will be released (actually, dd7's teacher knows to let her go, because her brother and sister get released at another door, so I stand there).

 

[tzolkin]

Interesting - our kids are let out of school, and K - 2, the teachers will make sure a parent is there, but you can write a note stating that they are walking home, and then they will be released (actually, dd7's teacher knows to let her go, because her brother and sister get released at another door, so I stand there).

If your child is a "walker" (getting picked up instead of riding the bus), the child will only be released directly to the parent/guardian. All parents wait in the hallway by the main entrance. There is a sign out sheet and as each child approaches down the hallway the monitors verify that the child has been signed out before allowing the child to leave with the parent/guardian.

They also make sure that all the kids are accounted for before the busses leave.


It seems a bit excessive typing it out, but it works very smoothly.

 

[Becky2005]

If your child is a "walker" (getting picked up instead of riding the bus), the child will only be released directly to the parent/guardian.

Around here only K has to have a parent ready & waiting. After that it is a free for all from grades 1 - 5. I always say at grade 1, they really throw the kids to the wolves. Kindergarten they "hold the kids hands" -- 1st grade it's "Figure it out on your own or ask for help".

They have the bussers leave first and those line up in the gym and then are dismissed by bus numbers. The bus drivers ONLY do the Kindergarten pick-up or drop off at homes. Otherwise, the bus stop could easily be in a location that you couldn't even SEE your house from the stop. That was how it was the year our school closed down for remodel and all kids were bussed. The stop was up the street and around the corner (so basically on another street). The bus driver wouldn't have even been able to see our house at the stop.

That 2nd bell rings and ZOOM hunderds of kids exiting the doors in mass chaos. Some walking, some waiting for rides in the car lines & the new after-school program now which was brand new last year, some kids go there. You had better make sure little ones are out of the way when those doors open because they WILL get run over.

Yet apparently NONE of those kids are supposed to be staying home alone? I don't think the school even got that memo! There is a crossing guard at the 2 busy streets but other than that....they are on their own (unless a parent walks)....I usually drive (or walk depending on the weather) my kids because mine would take 3 hours to get home (just dawdling and being in never never land along with one attempting to "beat" the other one home and not staying together) and I've seen way too many rough housing going on with unsupervised kids walking home.

 

[tzolkin]

Becky2005 - That sounds a lot like when I was growing up in FL (and how I still think most of the schools do it). When the bell rang you had to run to the bus or you would miss it. I lived in a subdivision for most of the time I was in elem. There was a bus stop at one entrance. If you made it home great, if not oh well.


Some days it does seem a bit crazy for the bus to stop at 4 houses right in a row (village setting), but it is nice to know that my 5yo wouldn't just be dropped off on the side of the road if I couldn't make it home in time for the bus.

 

[design_mom]

If your child is a "walker" (getting picked up instead of riding the bus), the child will only be released directly to the parent/guardian. All parents wait in the hallway by the main entrance. There is a sign out sheet and as each child approaches down the hallway the monitors verify that the child has been signed out before allowing the child to leave with the parent/guardian.

They also make sure that all the kids are accounted for before the busses leave.


It seems a bit excessive typing it out, but it works very smoothly.

That's pretty much how it works at our school, too, except "walkers" and "pick up" are treated separately.

Walkers (live within a designated distance of school and are registered as "walkers") are released from one door in the school. I believe they have to sign themselves out on a list. Only 2nd graders and above can be walkers.

Kids who are being picked up are released from a different door and must be signed out by a responsible party.

Kids who are riding busses are escorted to their busses, but none of the busses leave the school until all the walkers/pick-up kids are accounted for.

 

[MamaJessie]

I have just let my 11 (almost 12) yo dd try being alone and the longest was about 20 minutes. I trust her judgement I just get nervous about emergencies. I don't plan on letting her babysit until she is 13.

I don't see my 8 yo ds being home alone until he is much older

 

[momimouse27]

I've always felt this kind of stuff was a personal decision based on what you know about your own kids and what they can deal with.

Even though I stayed at home alone for long periods of time while my mom was working when I was 10 or 11, we lived in a small town and I knew all my neighbors. It's a much different world today, and I know at least with myself it is a factor.

My 17dd didn't feel comfortable staying home alone until she was about 14, my dd14 will stay alone in the daytime but wouldn't do it at night(she gets creeped out easily ) and I have an 8 year old son, but he has autism so I don't know when he'll be ready, if ever.

I just think for some people it has alot to do with whether the child him/herself feels comfortable and ready for it.