What age did you start allowing kids to stay home alone?

[always quiet]

I think the kicker for me is the amount of time we are talking. I have, during my son's last 2 orthodonist appointments, allowed my DD, 12, to come home without my being home and had her pick up youngest DD, 9, at the bus stop afterschool. I figure during these visits, DD is only home for about a half hour before I get home from the dentist. My cell phone is on at all times and she knows to call me as soon as she gets in and knows the rules about letting anyone, including friends into the house til I get home. The dentist is also only 5 minutes away. "Baby steps" at first.....not just tossing the kids into the deep end of the pool and hoping they can swim!!

 

[Shel]

My DD is 11, and an only child. Last summer she stayed home while I was at work (10 min away), plus I was home for lunch each day. She leaves for school now about an hour after I go to work & is home an hour before me. But like a prev poster said, it depends on the maturity level of the child, and you obviously know your own children & how they can handle the alone time.

 

[Christine]

I have a DD 12 and a DS 9. They have never stayed alone. I am starting to want to leave my DD 12 alone (like when I go out walking for 30 minutes) but she doesn't really want me to go. I was one of those 13 y/o babysitters but one other poster was correct---times are different now.

The other factor that is a problem is leaving siblings alone together. Depending on how they get along, this may or may not be a good idea. My DD gets along beautifully with other children but picks on her younger brother showing no mercy. I don't need them coming to blows while unsupervised.

Also, 4 hours and being 45 minutes away is too long.

 

[Soccer Princess]

I started staying home by myself at 11. That said, it completely depends on your particular children! If I had kids now, I would wait until they were in 13 or 14.

 

[Robinrs]

My son, 11, and I had this conversation just today. He told me he should be able to stay home alone because a classmate who lives across the street does. I have to agree it depends on the child but I would not feel comfortable doing this yet. He is VERY mature for his age but I think I'd wait a few years before I can deal with it.

 

[Lanshark]

You have answered your own question. You feel uncomfortable leaving them for that length of time and with you 45 minutes away.

Does your Dad have any other way of getting to the wedding or is that out of the question? I know you feel you have to go but do you want to go?

 

[always quiet]

Do I WANT to go??!! Ah......no! There are some underlying circumstances that have really affected any sort of aunt/nephew relationship. I'll try to briefly explain. My nephew has never obtained a job on his own. He has always had a friend or relative get him into the place where they work or have connections to. With that said, 4 years ago, I didn't realize this. My sister called me really upset. He had lost his job and I got the whole run-down of "What is he going to do? He has a baby to think about......" and then those words I will forever hate myself for giving into, "Can Dennis get him in where he works?" At the time, I didn't realize how he had obtained all the other jobs and felt bad for the baby. I convinced DH, despite his reservations, to talk to his boss and get this kid a job. Keep in mind he had never worked in this line of work before and it did take some doing. Not only did we never hear a thank you, BUT my nephew is very good at "sucking up" to get what he wants (this is a well known fact in the whole family) and now, he is a supervisor where DH works!! He likes to asert his authority, particularly with DH!! My husband is no longer treated like an uncle (even outside the workplace) but rather, an employee. This has caused much grief within the family. It's hard to feel like a 'family' when you are not treated that way!!

Sorry if I revealed too much information!! Didn't mean to go on like a did!!

 

[cheyita]

Wow, I am starting to almost feel guilty. My babysitters in the past few years started for us at the ages of 12 and 13. I had no problem with that. One, who was 14 at the time, actually watched our girls for about 7 hours once. But she is very mature and grew up with her mom having a home daycare, so she had proper child care ingrained in her. I do believe it depends on the children involved. I also have close relationships with my neighbors, so I know my kids can call on them if they needed to in an emergency.

I am still about 5 years away from this though.

 

[believe]

Not till they are atleast 13, which I think is the legal age in KY. My luck something would happen and I would be in court explaining the situation.

 

[Mishetta]

Oh my goodness Always Quiet ~ that's such a horrible thing to happen! I'm so sorry your nephew is an idiot! Of course, if you don't attend the wedding, will your DH get fired by his nephew?? Now I really can't see the headache you're putting yourself through! As someone else suggested, go have a nice dinner out with your family!

 

[CookieGVB]

It all depends on your comfort level. If they haven't stayed home alone for that period of time while you are close by, then it would follow that being so far away would be too big of a step (probably more for you, than for them)

My niece got married this past August, and there were NO children invited. We all understood - weddings are expensive enough, without making sure everyone's kids come along and are bored for hours...not to mention, my nephew would probably have caused some grief during the day...so it was either all or none.

 

[MAC3]

Interesting thread. My DD (will be 12 in May) wants to start acting responsibly. She wants to start babysitting classes so she can earn money and be like her cousin.

For the first time,a month ago. I drove to the corner store(literally) and left her alone. While I had my cell phone and she had the cordless. It made her feel big, but made me scared.

She hasn't mentioned it again since, but I'm waiting. It's nice to see how others feel. Like the makeup thread.