Guerrero2915
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2008
- Messages
- 64
Okay first let me start off by saying:
God Bless to you all may you get the understanding, acceptance, and peace you are seeking.
Okay now to my story, it will be kind of long though.
Last Nov. (just before Thanksgiving) we lost my DHs Uncle(54yrsold)on dads side to cancer. Now when he passed he left money to Grandma (Dhs). Well jut a couple of weeks after Grandma called his grieving spouse and asked for the money, ok now I see this as out of line. But I have been told numerous times "that is just how she is" Still not right, so my Father-in-law puts the moey into an account for her, gives her money when she needs it.
OK move ahead to March of this year, we lost DHs 2nd cousin 8yr ,on the other side of the family to Leukemia. None of Dads side showed up to the funeral, but all Mother-in-laws sisters showed to his uncles. Anyway that is neither her or there.
Jump ahead to Oct.7th 2009, this is the hardest part to write, my father-in law who 54 was a farmer. He was moving a forklift from on place to another, when(and this is just what they say happened) he lost control of the forklift, flipped out and it somehow landed on top of him, I am assuming, crushing his lungs. They said he died instantly but no one know for sure because no one was there. This has been especially hard on my DS-3(4in Dec) who adored his Grandpa, and has said things while we were driving like "if we crash we can go up to Grandpa". It just kils me because I can not fix this, people think that really small children can't grieve and don't understand but they do!
He and my mother-in-law had been together since ninth grade, just 3 years shy of 40 years. they were married for 33 yrs. At the rosary everything is fine no one fights, etc. But the next day Dhs Grandma does not show up to the funeral, now mind you this is a woman who has lost TWO children in LESS than a years time. My FIL was the only dad I ever knew, and I am a mother,so this one really upset me, once again I was tod "That is just her" and this time " It is her concious(sp?)" okay fine I will leave it alone.
A couple weeks after we put him in the ground guess what dhs grandma wants??? Thats right the last of her money!! So my Dh gets it out for her becase MIL wanted nothing to with it and was not put on the account, and give it to another uncle and tells him it is is his to deal with now.
Well, just here on the 7th of this month, one month later DH's Grandma tells MIL that is time to get rid of FIL clothes and other hings and move on with her life. When Dh's Grandfaher passed 12 years ago on Christmas Eve, I am told she moved pretty quickly.
Now my DH, DD, and DS are six hours away because of his job, so I can not actually say anything. There are only so many times when you can hear "That is her"
I just don't understand how people can be that way especially at this time of year, so Mrs Dower I know sorta how you feel. My FIL was nothing like that he was the first to think of others. But I guess I just needed to vent. I don't want to vent to much to DH because he has not even dealt with his own grief. Thank you so much for taking time to listen
God Bless to you all may you get the understanding, acceptance, and peace you are seeking.
Okay now to my story, it will be kind of long though.
Last Nov. (just before Thanksgiving) we lost my DHs Uncle(54yrsold)on dads side to cancer. Now when he passed he left money to Grandma (Dhs). Well jut a couple of weeks after Grandma called his grieving spouse and asked for the money, ok now I see this as out of line. But I have been told numerous times "that is just how she is" Still not right, so my Father-in-law puts the moey into an account for her, gives her money when she needs it.
OK move ahead to March of this year, we lost DHs 2nd cousin 8yr ,on the other side of the family to Leukemia. None of Dads side showed up to the funeral, but all Mother-in-laws sisters showed to his uncles. Anyway that is neither her or there.
Jump ahead to Oct.7th 2009, this is the hardest part to write, my father-in law who 54 was a farmer. He was moving a forklift from on place to another, when(and this is just what they say happened) he lost control of the forklift, flipped out and it somehow landed on top of him, I am assuming, crushing his lungs. They said he died instantly but no one know for sure because no one was there. This has been especially hard on my DS-3(4in Dec) who adored his Grandpa, and has said things while we were driving like "if we crash we can go up to Grandpa". It just kils me because I can not fix this, people think that really small children can't grieve and don't understand but they do!
He and my mother-in-law had been together since ninth grade, just 3 years shy of 40 years. they were married for 33 yrs. At the rosary everything is fine no one fights, etc. But the next day Dhs Grandma does not show up to the funeral, now mind you this is a woman who has lost TWO children in LESS than a years time. My FIL was the only dad I ever knew, and I am a mother,so this one really upset me, once again I was tod "That is just her" and this time " It is her concious(sp?)" okay fine I will leave it alone.
A couple weeks after we put him in the ground guess what dhs grandma wants??? Thats right the last of her money!! So my Dh gets it out for her becase MIL wanted nothing to with it and was not put on the account, and give it to another uncle and tells him it is is his to deal with now.
Well, just here on the 7th of this month, one month later DH's Grandma tells MIL that is time to get rid of FIL clothes and other hings and move on with her life. When Dh's Grandfaher passed 12 years ago on Christmas Eve, I am told she moved pretty quickly.
Now my DH, DD, and DS are six hours away because of his job, so I can not actually say anything. There are only so many times when you can hear "That is her"
I just don't understand how people can be that way especially at this time of year, so Mrs Dower I know sorta how you feel. My FIL was nothing like that he was the first to think of others. But I guess I just needed to vent. I don't want to vent to much to DH because he has not even dealt with his own grief. Thank you so much for taking time to listen
