There were no $30k schools when i was a kid. I went to a private University and Tuition and Room and board was $3,200 a year my Senior year.For example did you go to a $30k a year school?
I don't think I would consider any child "expensive" for choices that were made by their parents. In my experience and observation, the child is not expensive, but the activities, environment, etc that the parent chooses may be expensive.