Were you advised/Have you advised against getting married?

[Erzengel]

No one said anything to me or my wife, but we had a family member who asked everyone and their mother if they should get married, everyone said no don't get married and they did anyway. I've gone as far as saying "are you sure you wanna do this?" but after saying it once, that was it.

 

[cabanafrau]

My father told my husband he still had time to swim for it after the last ferry left the island before our wedding.

 

[neverlandsky]

Yep to me unsolicited. I never asked anyone. Nothing hurts more than to have family telling you to not get married, it’s never going to work, and then still not accepting DH decades later.

I haven’t advised others and I haven’t been asked. If asked, it’s not my place or life experience to say. I would wish happiness. I wouldn’t offer any unsolicited advice.

 

[OhDannyBoy]

Never in any serious connotation, but joking, yeah everyone of my grooms men razzed me about getting married. It's kind of a right of passage in our circle. I was the first to get hitched from our group.

I'm going to New York for one of said grooms mens weddings, so my turn!!

 

[smiths02]

No. Then again, we must be doing alright since we've been married 16 years. The only thing that would have made our marriage questionable is that we were youngish-20 and 22. However, people in both of our families have married young, so it wasn't out of the norm.

I don't think I would advise against it unless I was specifically asked. Even then, I might hedge it with they should wait, get a pre-nup, live together first, etc.

I might have a harder time not giving an opinion when the time comes for my children to get married.

 

[Summer2018]

My husband used to be my nephew’s hockey coach. My brother set us up on a blind date, and we got engaged a month later. Eight months after we met, we got married.

There were many naysayers, especially my sister. After 25 years of a mostly happy marriage, she still doesn’t like him. We just renewed our vows in WDW on July 24th. She’s been divorced for 10 years.

I am glad that I followed my heart.

 

[1Mouse2RulethemAll]

My mother advised me repeatedly not to marry and still encourages me to leave him because he is not good enough. We've been married for almost 15 years.

 

[wenrob]

I have teased about it and I have been 100% certain at times that the couple in question should not get married but kept my mouth shut. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I’ve only ever said something once. Without getting into detail let’s just say my sister and her then boyfriend were in an out of control free fall and for some reason they felt getting married right then would solve it. I knew logic and common sense wouldn’t work so I used guilt telling her it would break our grandmother’s heart. And it would have. They got married two years later and have been married 24 years now. I don’t think it would have lasted more than a coupe of months if they had eloped in that point in their lives.

My DH would never say but I’d bet good money his father gave his two cents.

 

[disykat]

We were never advised not to marry, but I think some of my friends were really surprised by my choice. They all liked him, but he was just so different than what people expected. He is the total opposite of me personality wise.

 

[mnrose]

I advised my BIL not to marry a woman who he had known less than 5 months when they got married. She'd been married twice before, and had lost custody of the children she had from marriage number one. She had visitation rights, but her ex-husband had sole custody. That was a big *** red flag to me. Turns out I was right. She was insane (really, not exaggerating in the least). They were divorced 13 long years later. Happiest day of the extended family's life.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Everyone thought we should get married. Well, other than my mother in law. But no one listens to her. So, no, no one advised us not to get married.

A couple of times my husband and I have questioned someone getting married, but only to each other. We never say anything to the couple. It really isn't our business.

 

[J'aime Paris]

DH and I didn't ask for or receive any advice before getting married.

No way would I offer unsolicited advice to someone else. Their life, their choice.

I 'might' offer advice if specifically asked. Although I feel it wouldn't be well received, and probably not end well.
Folks don't really want to hear opposing viewpoints when making decisions. They ask, but really only seek agreement.... (most of the time)
Happens on the Dis almost daily!!

 

[Gigi22]

This is on the theory that sometimes, you just can’t do anything right. DNiece actually scolded me and my DH for not telling her not to marry her first husband! Believe me, we wanted to tell her to dump his sorry a**, but we’re afraid that would just make her run faster towards the train wreck that was her first marriage. He cheated on her within a year.

 

[wenrob]

My father told my husband he still had time to swim for it after the last ferry left the island before our wedding.

I’m positive my dad said something along those lines to my DH.

 

[gillep]

The night before one of my best friends got married myself, and all the other bridesmaids told my friend that we would help her get away if she wanted. Her fiance was both emotionally and physically abusive, and we had been advising her for months that she didn't have to go through with the wedding, that everyone would understand. She was convinced that it was the stress of the wedding and that he would change, unfortunately, she went through with it and brought a couple kids into the situation, which, for the record, did not change after the wedding.

Otherwise, not my business.

 

[superme80]

Yes. I told my sister she was making a mistake with husband #1. Did not listen to me. Got divorced within 7 years. She meets #2. I told her something is off and to at least proceed with caution. Pregnant within 2 months and now they are separated.

 

[scoutie]

I told my friend I didn’t think she should get married. We talked about it a lot right up until she was about to walk down the aisle. Remember that scene in Sex and the City where Carrie tells Charlotte that she can leave and Carrie will tell everyone the wedding is off and everyone will have to deal with it? Similar conversation on my friend’s wedding day. She ended up getting married and then getting divorced after lots of emotional abuse and over the top jealousy by her ex (and two kids and six years).

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

I pretty much tell everyone not to get married.

 

[dotfurio]

My dad didn't want me to marry DH because he had long hair (which is one of things that attracted me to him!). I didn't give much weight to his advice, though, since he was on his third marriage by the time I had my wedding. DH and I have been married longer than any of our parents 2-3 marriages lasted.

 

[GreatLakes]

Do you mean in general like "don't get married" or about a specific person? I did have a discussion with a close friend who I thought was making a bad choice once because we were close and I thought it was something they had to hear. They scheduled and cancelled the wedding 3 times and are still not married so who knows.