Well this takes the cake....I give up.

[Northstar]

Your SIL is into extortion. Seriously, this is exactly like the techniques con artists use. All they care about is extracting more $$ from you. If they can use your decency and desire to please against you, they will. If they can shame you into it by suggesting that you are cheap, they will.

Don't even bother to reply. It's like trying to get off the line when a call centre employee with a good script is trying to sell you something... anything you say will feed into the next attempt to get you to send them some dough.

Next year, buy the toys and send them. Disregard anything SIL says other than "we have received the gifts." Her opinion does not matter. You are sending your nephews gifts for them, not her.

 

[Magpie]

Meh. She's a horrible woman, so just ignore her. There's nothing you can do or say that will change her.

Next year send the children books, and be prepared to hit the "delete" button when you next see an e-mail from her.

 

[Robinrs]

Wow, what a female DOG...

I have a child and would be THRILLED to get a $25 gift card. She should be ashamed of herself.

 

[BELLE1109]

How classless of her. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of replying. She sent you that email to cause drama. Show her you are above her and her poor manners.

If someone gave my child ANY gift, they would be gracious and write out a thank you note.

 

[dakcp2001]

It is her typical passive aggressive crap.She always says offensive things laced with sarcastic fake nice things then she shrugs her shoulders and says "what did I say? " as if everyone being offended isn't the norm after she opens her mouth. At least this year it was an email and I am not in the same room with her.

 

[Kathi OD]

Your SIL is as ignorant as they come!

FWIW, given your recent financial situation, I think you were more than generous. If it had been me, they would have gotten $10 GCs.

You've learned your lesson though, you will never please this woman, so stop trying. Take the high road, but add a little hidden zinger. I'd return her email with one that says, "Oh geez! I saw lots of toys for less than $25 on TRU website, and so thought that would be a good amount to spend. Actually, with your brother being unemployed for over 6 months, we were going to spend less than that, but made other cuts in our budget so that the children could get something they liked. I'm sorry that $25 still fell short. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas." Leave it at that.

And know that, whatever you do, however much you give her children, you will NEVER. EVER. be able to make her happy. The only thing you can do is control your reaction to her craziness.

Oh, and because I can be really snarky when I want to be...next year I would make sure that I bought a gift for each of the children at a really GREAT discount. When she complained (because she is going to complain) that it wasn't something they wanted, or something they already had, I'd send her the receipt and tell her to take it back.

 

[princesshannahsmom]

Honest to Goodness, I have NEVER in my life heard of someone so RUDE, ungrateful and cruel.

As several others before me have said, $25 is more than enough for a toy, heck, you could even find video games for that price. My DD would be THRILLED with a $25 gift card to TRU.

With all of that said, I second (or third or fourth) the idea of forwarding a link to this thread to your sister in law AND forwarding the under $25 list from TRU.

And THIS would be my response:

"I am truly sorry that you feel that a heartfelt gift is not enough for your children. As you can see from the attached link MANY people agree that you can find PLENTY of gifts for under $25. As the link will surely have shown you, PLENTY of people also agree that your email was not only rude and ungrateful, but cruel as well. What I ask of you is to send me back the $25 cards. I will purchase as many items as possible with the gift cards and donate them to needy children (in your children's names), who would otherwise have NOTHING, as clearly YOUR children have TOO MUCH. Please let the children know, that their gift from me this year is this lesson in being grateful for what you have, and even more grateful for gifts that you receive."

Seriously, I read this thread and got more an more mad as each minute passed. OP, there is certainly a special place in heaven for folks like you that must deal with THAT kind of family! I hope your Chirstmas is magical and the New Year brings you great joy and prosperity.

 

[hereyago]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do like a PP's idea about asking for the cards back in guise of getting something better then donating things to TFT in their name. Next year, they wouldn't be getting jack-which is unfair to the kids-however, I don't cave in to that sort of behavior.

And since I am in a sassy mood all ready:you could email a youtube thing to her: Ice Cube" check yourself before you wreck yourself," as you don't want to spend anymore money even for a cd for that ungrateful bleep and she is definitley in the need of checking herself.

My DD12 got excited the other day for getting a 5.00 stuffed donkey, let alone 25.00 something.

 

[Schminston-Mo]

"Dear SIL- You are right, it is the thought that counts...and I think you are an idiot. Merry Christmas!"

 

[indimom]

"Dear SIL- You are right, it is the thought that counts...and I think you are an idiot. Merry Christmas!"

 

[NotUrsula]

"Dear SIL- You are right, it is the thought that counts...and I think you are an idiot. Merry Christmas!"

Bravo. (Though I'd take it one step further and say "I think you are a grasping idiot.")

However, I think that the OP should NOT respond to her -- her brother should, and he should show the message to their mother for good measure. This calls for a sibling-to-sibling gloves-off smackdown. If the OP gets into it she'll just written off as the irascible in-law, but her own family should call her on it.

 

[hereyago]

However, I think that the OP should NOT respond to her -- her brother should, and he should show the message to their mother for good measure. This calls for a sibling-to-sibling gloves-off smackdown. If the OP gets into it she'll just written off as the *****y in-law, but her own family should call her on it.

You have a good point.

 

[Disney Doll]

OP, I'd respond with two words. Those two words would be "You're welcome".

You have no need to divulge your personal finances. You have no need to lower yourself and get into a pi--ing match with her. As far as the kids, I hate the thought of taking out on the children the sins of the mother...if those kids are smallish, they probably have no idea what their mother does and the whole "point" of donating to a charity instead of buying them a gift would be lost on them...it would just make you the beyotchy SIL who doesn't give anything to the nieces and nephews.

I have a crazy Sis-IL, so let me give you some advice....her goal is to get to you. Crazy people like your (and my) Sis-IL LIVE to upset people, get a rise out of them, have power over them. The best reaction is no reaction. You don't want to hate her. Hate is a strong emotion and she'll be thrilled to be able to elicit a striong emotion from you. You want to be indifferent to her. Or perhaps, indifferent with a small dose of pity thrown in. After all, what a sad sorry person she is, really, if she thinks the meaning of Christmas is the amount of money one spends. What a sad sorry person she is to be so envious of your happiness that she takes every opportunity to try and take it away or undermine it...And yet she can't. She can't because you know what's important in life, and what isn't.

So OP, get yourself to a place of pity for her, because that's really what she needs. Your interactions with her...welll, keep them superficial. It sounds like whatever other background issues the in-laws have with you are always going to be there, so the sooner you learn how to let it roll off you, the better off you'll be.

Plus...take it from the expert in dealing with crazy Sis-ILs....it drives them nuts when they try to upset you and can't.

 

[terri01p]

 

[Magic Mom]

Little background, DF was laid off in April right as I finished school. We relocated here for a job for me, and he recently started working. So we basically had no income for 6 months and had to live off savings and then credit cards and we are now paying both rent and a mortgage. Financially we are not in a great place right now but we are getting by, which we are greatful for. Darling SIL sent me an email today regarding the gifts we sent for Christmas to her kids. I just want to pull my hair out. We sent each child a $25 gift card to Toys R Us so they could choose their own toy. This sis complains each year no matter what we get her kids, but here is a bit of the email I got from her this am. I am really hurt & offended. Is $25 not enough? I dont even know how to respond, I dont think I am going to. What is the going rate for a gift card for a child that is under 8?

Quote from the email:

I wanted to thank you for the gift cards, but just wanted to let you know since you do not have any children you must be unaware that $25 is really not enough for a toy. Thank you for thinking of us, it really is the though that counts. They will be able to save them and put them toward something, we will cover the rest. Merry Christmas.

I wouldn't play any games. I would immediately write her back and tell her how rude that letter was. First of all $25 is more than enough to buy something at TRU. Second, she knows your financial situation and should have taken that into consideration. And third, I don't care how much you gave them IT'S ENOUGH. There is no right amount. A gift isn't a right it's a gift.

She can kiss your ***. I don't usually get into family drama, but I don't think you should let something that b***** slide.

 

[traviesojmt]

Sometimes all you can really do is shake your head at people and wonder what PLANET they come from. SERIOUSLY!!!! I would beat (not literally) my children upside the head if I ever heard such a rude and ungrateful comment come out of their mouth. I could, sort of, understand if you bought a $25 gift card to the Lexus dealer or something but short of that, this woman is LOONEY!! Even if my DS13 wanted a $50 video game, I would tell him that he now only has to save 1/2 the money to buy the game. I wouldn't add to his money either. He could happily buy something for $25 or just as happily save to buy something bigger. Either way, the gift WOULD be appreciated.

Goodness, my dad (whose is in his 60s) gets gift cards from Lowe's all year long. Knowing his love for all things Lowe's, all of my siblings and my mom give him gift cards for all occasions. The amount never matters. He just saves them until he has enough for whatever he wants. He has gotten $10 gift cards from the grandkids. I could never imagine him telling them that it isn't ENOUGH to buy something there. He says thank you and adds it to the pile.

I would tell her that the kids are free to save the gift cards until next year when I will gladly double the amount when I send another $25 to them. Great lesson in delayed gratification.

 

[A4Disney]

Little background, DF was laid off in April right as I finished school. We relocated here for a job for me, and he recently started working. So we basically had no income for 6 months and had to live off savings and then credit cards and we are now paying both rent and a mortgage. Financially we are not in a great place right now but we are getting by, which we are greatful for. Darling SIL sent me an email today regarding the gifts we sent for Christmas to her kids. I just want to pull my hair out. We sent each child a $25 gift card to Toys R Us so they could choose their own toy. This sis complains each year no matter what we get her kids, but here is a bit of the email I got from her this am. I am really hurt & offended. Is $25 not enough? I dont even know how to respond, I dont think I am going to. What is the going rate for a gift card for a child that is under 8?

Quote from the email:

I wanted to thank you for the gift cards, but just wanted to let you know since you do not have any children you must be unaware that $25 is really not enough for a toy. Thank you for thinking of us, it really is the though that counts. They will be able to save them and put them toward something, we will cover the rest. Merry Christmas.

Wow she is nasty!! Unbelievable!

 

[dakcp2001]

OP your post made me want to seriously punch your SIL in her face and I'm a grown women.

I have been refraining for years now.

 

[surfergirl602]

Little background, DF was laid off in April right as I finished school. We relocated here for a job for me, and he recently started working. So we basically had no income for 6 months and had to live off savings and then credit cards and we are now paying both rent and a mortgage. Financially we are not in a great place right now but we are getting by, which we are greatful for. Darling SIL sent me an email today regarding the gifts we sent for Christmas to her kids. I just want to pull my hair out. We sent each child a $25 gift card to Toys R Us so they could choose their own toy. This sis complains each year no matter what we get her kids, but here is a bit of the email I got from her this am. I am really hurt & offended. Is $25 not enough? I dont even know how to respond, I dont think I am going to. What is the going rate for a gift card for a child that is under 8?

Quote from the email:

I wanted to thank you for the gift cards, but just wanted to let you know since you do not have any children you must be unaware that $25 is really not enough for a toy. Thank you for thinking of us, it really is the though that counts. They will be able to save them and put them toward something, we will cover the rest. Merry Christmas.

WHAT!?!?!?! WOW!!! Have you told her what an ungrateful B!tch she is?!?!? You should spread the email around to your family members with this warning: Warning: just wanted to let you all know that $25 per kid to a toy store is NOT enough. If you haven't spent more than that, you'd better add to your gift or you will ruin Christmas. Just FYI. (and include the email from sil.)

I would seriously lose it on this woman!!! People like her make me what to inflict bodily harm on some people just because they are so darn ignorant. I wouldn't of course, but you can't help thinking about it.

 

[Melmac]

OP, I cannot believe that someone could be so terrible to write an email like that. Your SIL sounds like a piece of work and one I wouldn't want anything to do with - family or no. Monetary value shouldn't matter when giving a gift, the receiver should be gracious in accepting it. And BTW, I would love a gift card to TRU!

However, I think that the OP should NOT respond to her -- her brother should, and he should show the message to their mother for good measure. This calls for a sibling-to-sibling gloves-off smackdown. If the OP gets into it she'll just written off as the irascible in-law, but her own family should call her on it.

I do agree with this - my DH would be furious enough for the both of us if his sister wrote something like this, especially if she knew we were strapped for cash. I hope you and your DH have a lovely holiday!