Well this takes the cake....I give up.

[shortbun]

We recently shopped for several Toys For tots gifts. I told my son to find the best toys he could for $15 each. The total bill was over $200 and each gift was around $15. Your SIL is a piece of work!!! We bought games, dolls, hand held video games, Bakugan, Barbie, makeup, huge trucks, a collection of matchbox cars on a big rig and several other things. You can get DVD's, CD's, clothes, soccer balls, other sports equipment and a myriad of other things for $25 and under. Sorry you are having such trouble. Don't respond to your SIL; she's clueless about so many things beginning with how to be gracious... it just would not help to say a word to her. Also, fyi, my son gets nothing from one uncle and usually $10 from an aunt-he still loves them unconditionally and so do I.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I think you should submit that story to http://www.etiquettehell.com/.

 

[Heidict]

After hearing your previous stories about the in laws from hell, it doesn't surprise me that she would send this type of email to you. Seems like no matter what you do, you can't win with them. They are going to hate you and look down on you no matter what. I'm so sorry that you are marrying into this type of trash. I think moving far away from them was a very smart move.

I wouldn't punish the kids though. It is not their fault that their mother is a money hungry, rude, shallow person. I would continue to get them something for their birthdays and Christmas, but just ignore all the mean spirited comments that come from their mother.

I just hope and pray that they don't turn out like their mother.

 

[Jennasis]

Oh I'd respond. Two words. That's all I would need.


Perhaps you could send her a link to this thread? Be thankful you don't live near these loons anymore.

 

[anniemae]

It's strange because in one sentence she insults you, then she's like "but thank you for thinking of us though" then she goes and insults you again by saying something like, " We will just have to pitch in so they can use the card." I don't know whether to be mad or laugh at the absurdity!

It's hard though because it's not coming from the kids, and they would probably be thrilled to have $25 to spend at a toy store.

 

[AprilShowers]

I totally agree.

I would actually respond and ask for the gift cards back.

"Dear SIL,

I'm sorry that I underspent. If you will return the gift cards to me, I'll give it another try and send something more appropriate. There's still plenty of time before Christmas Eve. Thanks!"

If she actually does send them back, go to Toys R Us and spend them on toys for Toys for Tots (you can get a lot for $25). Make a list of all the toys you were able to purchase for children who would, otherwise, not have a Christmas and send it, with some home-baked cookies or handmade something, to the kids with a note that says:

"I got a note from your mom earlier this month and it helped me see that this year, with money so tight around the country, it would be most meaningful to make my holiday gifts for family and friends and to donate the money I normally would have spent to help provide gifts for kids in the community who would otherwise have nothing to open on Christmas morning. I have, therefore, donated $25 to Toys for Tots in each of your names. I hope you enjoy the homemade gifts I've sent as well as the priceless joy that your donation will give a needy child. Merry Christmas!"

I don't think a gesture like this punishes the kids, particularly if you send it along with something inexpensive that you've made that speaks directly to each kids' interests. Besides ... they're under 8. They won't be scarred for life. And -- if there are still Christmas miracles out there -- maybe your SIL will finally "get it". Not only will she see how much you can actually get for $25, but she will be trumped in the "Christmas spirit" department. She may never admit it, but she'll know.

THIS! Please please please do this!! What a horrible woman by the way

 

[wdwmom0f3]

THIS! Please please please do this!! What a horrible woman by the way

I like this idea too. I have to say, I was in shock when I read that.

Honestly, I would be finished with all of them!

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Wow, what a rude... I can't think of a polite word.

$25 is plenty for anyone.

Here! Here!

The wants vs. needs and whatnot. It's all a bunch of crap! ITA with the poster who wrote the letter asking to return the GCs - there's lots more time to shop!

 

[Handbag Lady]

Oh I'd respond. Two words. That's all I would need.


Perhaps you could send her a link to this thread? Be thankful you don't live near these loons anymore.

I'm thinking my two words are the same as your two words.


This would end the gift-giving for me to this family. When the kids are older, I'd show them the email.

 

[dis-happy]

Oh I'd respond. Two words. That's all I would need.

 

[hambirg]

Oh I'd respond. Two words. That's all I would need.


Perhaps you could send her a link to this thread? Be thankful you don't live near these loons anymore.

I think next year I would send one small gift for each. . .something the kids would still like. . .but small. . like one Littlest Pet Shop, a Zhu Zhu pet or a Hotwheel along with a nice note that said, "Look! I found some things at TRU FOR LESS THAN $25!"

 

[dawn1620]

Apparently this mother only purchases $100 toys for her kids. To say $25 per child is not enough is beyond rediculous - that is very generous especially given your circumstances at the moment. The fact she even wrote that shows she has no manners whatsoever and quite frankly sounds like an itch (with a b on it). I would never say anything but thank you to any gift I ever received.

To respond with a snarky comeback would only start a fued with this person. Maybe you could send her an Emily Post book on manners with a few choice sections highlighted. But be sure to personalize it with a note saying "As soon as I saw this I instantly thought of you".

 

[curious3069]

I'm thinking my two words are the same as your two words.


This would end the gift-giving for me to this family. When the kids are older, I'd show them the email.

Seriously, my two words would be exactly the same, though I might have to expand them to a couple more!!!!!


I do hope you and your family have a Very Merry Christmas and a less stressful New Year!!!

 

[Tink888]

Little background, DF was laid off in April right as I finished school. We relocated here for a job for me, and he recently started working. So we basically had no income for 6 months and had to live off savings and then credit cards and we are now paying both rent and a mortgage. Financially we are not in a great place right now but we are getting by, which we are greatful for. Darling SIL sent me an email today regarding the gifts we sent for Christmas to her kids. I just want to pull my hair out. We sent each child a $25 gift card to Toys R Us so they could choose their own toy. This sis complains each year no matter what we get her kids, but here is a bit of the email I got from her this am. I am really hurt & offended. Is $25 not enough? I dont even know how to respond, I dont think I am going to. What is the going rate for a gift card for a child that is under 8?

Quote from the email:

I wanted to thank you for the gift cards, but just wanted to let you know since you do not have any children you must be unaware that $25 is really not enough for a toy. Thank you for thinking of us, it really is the though that counts. They will be able to save them and put them toward something, we will cover the rest. Merry Christmas.

WOW!!! You SIL is an ungrateful witch. 25.00 is enough for a gift. I wouldn't punish the kids by withholding future gifts as they can't help it that their mother is a jerk.

I would reply to her though.

Dear SIL

I wanted to thank you for your passive aggressive email regarding our gifts for your kids. I have taken a poll among my friends with children and have been informed that 25.00 is enough to buy a toy.

I also wanted to let you know since you do not have any manners and may be unaware that it is considered poor etiquette to say anything other than "thank you" when receiving a gift.

Thank you for sharing your holiday spirit with me. Merry Christmas.

 

[disney11fan]

little background, df was laid off in april right as i finished school. We relocated here for a job for me, and he recently started working. So we basically had no income for 6 months and had to live off savings and then credit cards and we are now paying both rent and a mortgage. Financially we are not in a great place right now but we are getting by, which we are greatful for. Darling sil sent me an email today regarding the gifts we sent for christmas to her kids. I just want to pull my hair out. We sent each child a $25 gift card to toys r us so they could choose their own toy. This sis complains each year no matter what we get her kids, but here is a bit of the email i got from her this am. I am really hurt & offended. Is $25 not enough? I dont even know how to respond, i dont think i am going to. What is the going rate for a gift card for a child that is under 8?

Quote from the email:

i wanted to thank you for the gift cards, but just wanted to let you know since you do not have any children you must be unaware that $25 is really not enough for a toy. Thank you for thinking of us, it really is the though that counts. They will be able to save them and put them toward something, we will cover the rest. Merry christmas.

what a b..... I'd respond but it wouldn't be nice.

Ungrateful is all i can think of.

 

[LaraK]

Does your local $5 Below have gift cards? 'Cause I'd offer to do an exchange for her.

 

[design_mom]

[SIL is] not only selfish but she's cruel, not exactly a good combo in my book.

I agree. This passes beyond rude and into "cruel."

I am never going to be able to handle his family. I dont know how he turned out so normal, I have known him for over 10 years but still keep waiting for him to show his crazy. lol. He hasnt yet. How can he be normal with a family like this?

I feel the same way about my BIL. My sister's husband is a super nice guy but his family is *nuts* -- all of them. How did that happen?

I agree with the rest. The gift you gave was completely appropriate -- and very generous considering your current situation. We are not in your situation and we budget $25/each for nieces and nephews, too.

 

[Carnie]

Ask them to send back the cards, then get a flock of geese, ducks or chickens from Heifer International in their names.

A WHOLE flock!

And money better spent!

 

[hulagirl87]

I would reply to her though.

Dear SIL

I wanted to thank you for your passive aggressive email regarding our gifts for your kids. I have taken a poll among my friends with children and have been informed that 25.00 is enough to buy a toy.

I also wanted to let you know since you do not have any manners and may be unaware that it is considered poor etiquette to say anything other than "thank you" when receiving a gift.

Thank you for sharing your holiday spirit with me. Merry Christmas.

I love this!!!

 

[Minnesota!]

Your SIL is full of it!!! I got my son 8 gifts for Christmas and it came to $91. My other son got 8 gifts, as well, and it came to $190. Soo...$11.37/toy for DS and $23.75/toy for the other DS.

What a load of crap!

Oh, and my budget per niece/nephew is $25/each (I have 6 to buy for). And each of them get an outfit and either a toy or book. So TWO gifts for $25. And all of them ALL of them came in less than that this year. This included a V-tech laptop for one niece, movies for another, etc.

I would tell SIL to take the $25 and buy some class.