Well, my daughter is mad at me AGAIN!

[always quiet]

Gosh, I hope life with her gets easier sometime in the next decade!!

I have a rule for my girls about make up....they can experiment with it in the house, but are not allowed to wear it outside of the house til they are 13. I thought that was a reasonable age. Up until as recently as a couple weeks ago, my 12 yr old had no desire to wear make up and didn't even like it..."It hides the real you" Well, this morning, a take a glance at her and am stunned to see the eyes of a racoon looking at me!! I gently ask her if she is wearing make up. She answers simply 'yes'. I ask her what my rule is about make up. She claims to of forgotten. I remind her (again, I am calm and not screaming at her to go wash her face!!) and she storms off into the bathroom yelling "Fine! I'll go wash it off!" She left the house with barely a good bye to me.

Can someone with daughters PLEASE assure me that this will pass and someday, my sweet daughter will come home again?? Of course, by the time this one turns sweet again, her younger sister will be driving me up the walls!!

 

[GailT]

I don't have daughters but this will pass. I am 46 and remeber when I was doing the makeup thing against my parents wishes. they would yell, rave and rant and the more they did it the more I would wear it. Alll those yrs of being defient and as I grew older from 20 on I wore no make and still don't, none at all. It will pass, they are experimrnting, if that is the worse thing they do be thankful, I bet they are good kids just trying to fit in with the rest of the crowd. They'll be fine

 

[Evil Princess]

Yes, it will pass...

I hate to say it, but you have a WHILE to go though!!!

 

[Sandy V.]

Yes, this time WILL pass and you will get your sweet daughter back again. My daughter is 16 now, and we've had our share of "attitude" from her since she was 11. We still get it now and then - but now the threat of taking away the car seems to serve as a deterrent to much of it! I guess riding the school bus is the ultimate form of humiliation for a teenager! I'm now dealing with a 13 year old son whose hormones are making him QUITE difficult to live with!

Sounds like you handled it in exactly the right way - calmly and with no yelling. You make the rules, and you didn't rationalize or justify them to her. The fact that you're the mom should be enough! But they will always test you.

Hang in there!!

 

[4greatboys]

Sorry your having a hard time. Though I never could understand why wearing make up for shaving legs has always been such a big issue with girls. Can you compromise with her and let her wear light make up like light eye shadow and lip gloss or something like that. When I wanted to try make up when I was young my mom let, then it when it got to be a pain more often than not I didnt wear any.

 

[s&k'smom]

Well my dad survived 4 daughters and 1 son (who actually caused the most heartache). My DH looks at our two year old DD and says he can't wait until she grows up so they can do more activities and I asked him "have you ever lived with a teenage girl" of course he said no. And I said just wait! I have worked with woman who survived teenage girls and now they are having the most wonderful time with their grown-up daughters. You'll survive and like me and my mom she'll appreciate all that you did when she is older.

 

[always quiet]

She does wear the flavored lip gloss the kids are so fond of. Never know what she will 'taste' like when I kiss her good bye in the morning!! Strawberry seems to be a popular one right now!!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

It gets better. My Mom, Sister, and I couldn't stand each other growing up. Stubborn teenagers and a stubborn Mother. (Really she was a little harsh sometimes, she even admits it.) Now we all get along great. I talk to them everyday either on the phone or on IM.

 

[cheeringmom]

have a 16 yr old. went thru the same thing. Girls grow up so much faster then when we were kids-unfortunatley. I had a Mary Kay lady come over and give some hints to my dd. I spoke w/ her before hand and told her less is more-if you get my drift. We bought lip gloss, a little blush and a light eye makeup. All were happy. Good luck!!

 

[Desnik]

I can tell you from experience it will pass!! I was once the rebelling teen. My mom and I went through a period of about 2-3 yrs. where all we did was fight. I actually remember being a teen and hating her and thinking she was ruining my life!! She wished a daughter on me, and I got one and am dreading the teen years!! I have to say that once I got older, got married and had kids was when I could truly appreciate my mom. We have a wonderful relationship and are very close. We do have personalities that clash sometimes and we both know it so we just laugh it off. I love her more than anything and as I look at my DD I only hope we could be as close as my mom and I.

Have you and your DD watched Freaky Friday together yet? When I saw it I couldn't believe how real they portrayed the relationship between mother and teen daughter. I completely related! If you haven't already, watch this with her.

 

[always quiet]

That is one of our favorite movies!! I could totally see her saying the "I'm like the crypt keeper!!" line about me!! I try and be a 'cool' mom, but I am quite sure she doesn't think of me that way, especially when I won't let her (or my son for that matter!!) date til they are 16. We're at the point where boys can call the house but no one is going anywhere with anybody!!

 

[Pooh93]

and am stunned to see the eyes of a racoon looking at me!!

This gave me quite a chuckle!

I have 2 dd's and am sure my day will come soon enough. Sounds like you handled it well and I hope I can do the same someday! Stand your ground!