Well, I'm livid...

[RitaZ.]

My DS (5th grader) had to do a project for one of his classes, he had to make a commercial about a product that already exists. He could videotape it or do an oral presentation in front of the class. This assignment was given to the class 2 weeks ago. DS decided to do an oral presentation and illustrated his commercial.

Anyway, tonight I was going through the papers that DS brought home today that need signing and such. On the cover page of the project, I saw two of his friends' names written as though they collaborated on the project. It was all stapled, so I thought that maybe they had decided to make it a group project and his friends contributed to it. BUT, NO!!!!I looked through it and it was ALL of DS's work/project that he did all by himself at home!!!

I asked DS why his friends' names were written on the front cover. His response was, "Mom, they didn't do their project and I didn't want them to fail". Apparently, they asked DS if they could add their names to it and he agreed.

We talked about it to DS and how it was wrong of his friends to ask him to do that. He gets along really well with these boys and they are good kids, but it's simply wrong to take credit for someone else's work. I'm disappointed in DS for allowing it to happen. Maybe I'm being too harsh???

DH thinks that if it happens again then we should tell the teacher, but to let it go this one time. Am I making too much of this?

 

[kejoda]

Can they do a group project? If it was me I would tell them fine but start over. My son would never start over so that would be his way out of it without him being the one to hurt their feelings. Then the talks with ds would begin. Good luck.

 

[paras4ri]

I also have a DS in 5th grade and he's been approached by "friends" looking to copy homework, etc. IMHO, if you're comfortable that he wasn't pressured or threatened in any way by the other kids you can probably let it go this time. Certainly approach the teacher if you're at all uncomfortable. If the teacher is perceptive, he or she has already figured out who did what on the project.

 

[RitaZ.]

If the teacher is perceptive, he or she has already figured out who did what on the project.

Gail, you're so right about that. I'm sure that she knows who did the work.

It could have been a group project, but DS decided to do it by himself. The boys added their names as a last minute thing, as they didn't have a project. DS did all the work at home and by himself. He gets along with the boys well and I'm pretty sure that they didn't threaten him.

I still think they took advantage of his good nature and we discussed this with DS. Hopefully, he won't let this happen again.

 

[Kallison]

Speaking from a teacher point of view, this is serious, they get in big trouble for plagiarizing or copying work in school at any grade. I would not let it go, I would let the teacher handle it.

 

[JoeThaNo1Stunna]

I think your son was being a fine young man by helping his friends out, no one was hurt. Please don't tell me "you're only cheating yourself." It's not like this was the SAT.

 

[disykat]

I wouldn't let it go. I'm guessing that your son has learned his lesson, but the others haven't. As an adult I would feel responsible to help all the kids learn that this is not appropriate. I would tell the teacher and let her know that you've spoken to your son about the seriousness of this. Letting the other kids get off scott free is not helping them - pretty soon it might be the SAT. (I'm a teacher too and although I agree the teacher will probably recognize that the work comes from one student - proof would be helpful. Do you really want your son's teacher watching his work extra carefully all year for other signs of this? If you talk to him/her, he/she can help your son avoid these kind of situations and set the other kids straight. )

 

[Bottlejet]

Perhaps your son is telling a fib.

 

[disneefamily]

Disnee Dad Says....................................Bottlejet, give me any information that supports your lousy post.
My DD has been on many projects, where she does 75% and the other 3 do 25%, but everyone gets an A.
It gets so bad I plead with her, let them do something that matters, she says they won't do it and she is right. So she does all the work.
In a couple years when it's time for job interviews, and the other kids are going um 2.5 gpa, um I like people. She will be saying I have a 4.14 out 4.00, and I carried all the group projects because someone had to take the lead or we would all fail, and I would not let that happen. No one in my group will ever fail.

 

[Jeff in BigD]

I was teamed up with another person for a project in college. I ended up doing all the work & spent 24 hours in the lab getting the project put together. I debated on whether or not to put her name on the project. I went ahead & did it because I felt it wasn't worth it to make a stink about it. Plus when I show of my portfolio I can say that I did it all by myself.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Wow! You got my blood boiling on this. I just talked to my 4th grader about it. And I let him know that no one else deserves to get HIS grade! If it comes back to me that another kid copies my son's work or he copies another kid's work, I'll be right there talking with his teacher. And the kids can expect to show up in the principal's office if necessary based on the teacher's decision.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally posted by JoeThaNo1Stunna
I think your son was being a fine young man by helping his friends out, no one was hurt. Please don't tell me "you're only cheating yourself." It's not like this was the SAT.

It's cheating. Exactly when are they supposed to learn then that cheating is NOT a good thing? At exactly what age and in what unacceptable situation do kids like this have a lightbulb moment and understand that it's not ok to cheat "anymore"?

I'm surprised that, in 5th grade especially, it wasn't established early on in the project who was doing each project. In my kids' middle school and high school, the "group" (or lack thereof) is put together in the beginning and the teacher is well aware who is working together or on their own.

I'm glad (in a manner of speaking...I hope you understand what I mean) that you've acknowledge your son was wrong for contributing to the cheating, and that you discussed it with him. Many parents are too quick to brush things like this off as a kid thing (it IS "a kid thing", but it's a kid thing that needs to be learned from). I'm sure his intentions were every bit as good as "Joe" suggests, but that's when good parents step in and teach their children what is right and what is wrong and why. Good for you!

 

[vald1977]

No, you aren't making too much of this. I don't think I would let it go. Have you talked with the other boy's parents? I wouldn't want to see your ds lose close friends but the boys do need to understand that this is just not right. Since your ds knows that you have found out about the assignment, if you let it go "just this once" it will send a conflicting message to him about how strongly you feel about the issue. Good luck !

 

[Mishetta]

I agree with vald1977 ~ I would talk to the parents of these boys. Sometimes parents are unaware of what's going on, no matter how hard they try to stay on top of their children.

I am constantly on top of my son about things. I look over every paper that comes home, I look over his homework papers, his weekly papers, his tests scores. I help him study for his tests but then I'll get a call from his teacher that something is happening at school that I am unaware of! So PLEASE do yourself, your son & those kids & their parents a favor by letting the parents know what's going on. Let them handle it the right way.

I personally (whether this be the right or wrong answer ~ I'm not perfect & make lots of mistakes myself) would not get the teacher involved THIS TIME ONLY & let the parents of these kids handle the situation. I think they will see to it that their kids do their own projects or will somehow contribute more to the project your son completely.

So sorry this happened. As parents, we always (or most of us anyway) try our best & then things like this come along & it's like hitting a speed bump going 40 mph! It's tough to know exactly what the right thing to do would be.

Good luck & please let us know the outcome.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by Mishetta
I help him study for his tests but then I'll get a call from his teacher that something is happening at school that I am unaware of! So PLEASE do yourself, your son & those kids & their parents a favor by letting the parents know what's going on. Let them handle it the right way.

I personally (whether this be the right or wrong answer ~ I'm not perfect & make lots of mistakes myself) would not get the teacher involved THIS TIME ONLY & let the parents of these kids handle the situation. I think they will see to it that their kids do their own projects or will somehow contribute more to the project your son completely.

I disagree with that. I would go to the teacher and not the parents. The teacher can deal with the other parents. If I talk to another parent, it's too easy for them to brush it off. But if it comes from the teacher, it's a more reliable "story" at loss of a better word for it. I think having it come from a teacher carries more clout.

 

[paras4ri]

Originally posted by Pin Wizard
I disagree with that. I would go to the teacher and not the parents. The teacher can deal with the other parents. If I talk to another parent, it's too easy for them to brush it off. But if it comes from the teacher, it's a more reliable "story" at loss of a better word for it. I think having it come from a teacher carries more clout.

I agree, let the teacher handle it. Unfortunately there are parents who cannot imagine their kids ever doing wrong and are also quick to blame others. I've seen parents who have become very vindictive if their child is "blamed" or "accused" of anything and they'll stop at nothing to "get back" at the other child and/or their parents.

 

[nhmomx2]

Absolutely go to the teacher. This is a school isssue. On any assignment that is of any length (I'm an instructional assistant for 5th Grade) a notice goes home to the parents telling them what is expected and they must sign it and return it. This way, the teacher, the student and the parent know the chosen topic, due date, etc. No surprises when little Joey gets an F for not completing the project!! Go have a chat with the teacher...like someone else has already posted, they may have their suspicions as well!! You'd be surprised what a teacher knows!!

 

[nancy679]

Definately talk to the teacher. There may not be another group project for you to see if it happens again.

I would not let it go.

 

[RitaZ.]

I talked to my friend, a teacher, and she wasn't even sure how I should handle it. She saw both sides of the issue.

I will not approach the parents. I live in a community where MANY parents think their kids can do no wrong, especially at DS's school. I have had it happen to me when I have approached a parent and have seen other parents defend their kids, when it was obvious the kids did wrong. There are times when the teachers can't even convince the parents that their child has done wrong.

I still feel that I should talk to the teacher, but DH thinks we should let it go this time. I can see his point and that's why I'm hesitant. I can't stand it when we disagree on such issues...

This project wasn't one that they got an "actual grade" on, they earned a "check" for doing it (DS confirmed this and his project has a check on the front cover). That's why it wasn't as "formal" as projects where they receive an actual grade. I'm not sure what they got if they didn't do it and how that affected their grades.

So sorry this happened. As parents, we always (or most of us anyway) try our best & then things like this come along & it's like hitting a speed bump going 40 mph! It's tough to know exactly what the right thing to do would be.

Mishetta~ Thanks for writing this, it's exactly how I feel.

I'm still thinking about this...

 

[Lynn CC]

That happened to my DS last year in 9th grade. He worked hours on a project and paid for all the supplies. His partner had a million excuses not to get together and said he would pay him later for the supplies etc. He was sure to get his name on the project even though he didn't do anything.
The teacher said upfront he didn't care who did what for work there would be equal credit given when the grades went out.

When you think of it, isn't that what work life is like a lot of the times for adults? One person usually ends up doing more work than the next and they can often get the same amount of credit from the higher-ups who don't actually see who's doing the work.

It's a good lesson for your son. If it were me I wouldn't say anything to the teacher. I would let your son speak up to his friends if it bothered him. I'm sure if you ask him, he wouldn't want you to talk to the teacher. Just make it clear if there is ever a next time he's to speak up to them and let them know how he feels about doing all the work.
He will be able to keep his friends, that is VERY important to kids.
The school day can be agonizing if you don't have your friends to sit with at lunch.
You may say that they are not really his friends if you told the teacher and they didn't talk to him. But kids don't think like adults do. There friends are everything to them while they are in school, don't you agree?