After much deliberation and talking with DD, her DF and his DW, we all decided it would be in her best interest for her to go and live with him. She left right before Christmas but because she usually spends every other christmas with him, it is just now becoming a reality since she would have been home buy now. It was a hard decision to make even with her working my last nerve. She has had a rough year or two. She started high school this past Sept and her grades were horrible last semester. We had finally hashed out a lot of our differences but her and DH have not been getting along, she even started calling him by his first name. Dh thinks she has been spoiled and has a hard time with her behavior and the fact that he can't really discipline her the way he would "if she was his DD".
She has 2 other Dsis closer to her age and also a cousin who lives with them as well so she will have companionship. One of the main issues that I have spoken to her dad about is his parents and he admits that they cater to her and have created a monster. He has 2 other DD's and everyone knows My DD is the favorite. Whatever she wants, she gets. It is such a fight with them to understand they are not helping but when I punish her, she embellishes the story and they think I am some monster. For example: My DD3 has surgery in Oct. It was an outpatient scheduled for 1pm but she did not go in until 4:30. It was a long day as we had newborn DD and DD5 with us. I let DD14 know that we would be at the hospital until around dinnertime. At school that day, she was reminded there was no school the next day, so she made arrangements with her grandfather to pick her up so she could sleep over. She is supposed to ask me first and she knows this and so does her DGF. So, she calls my cellphone which is on vibrate since I am in the recovery room with DD3 who is in a lot of pain. I can't get to it since DD3 is on my lap. DD14 had to have called about 10 times. When we are leaving the hospital, she calls again. I answer and tell her quickly that we will be home shortly, we are loading the kids in the car. As soon as I walk in the door, with the baby in her seat, diaper bag, and dd3's bag from the hospital, DD runs over to me and tells me she doesn't have school the next day. I say ok, why is that so important right this second? She says she wanted to sleep over her DGP and she had called her DGF to pick her up. I say to her that she broke two rules, one she was already grounded due to her progress report so she was had no phone privileges and she is supposed to ask me first. She says with much attitude " I tried to call and ask you but you didn't answer your cell". That was it for me, the stress of the day just made me lose it! I just started yelling excuse me for not being able cater to her needs right then. I had already told her that I wouldn't be able to anser my phone at the hospital, Yada, yada, yada. Mind you, I am still at the door, DH has pushed passed me with DD3 who is now crying again. DD5 is crying as well because I woke her up when we got home. I say to DD14, I can't deal with this now, do what you think is best and went to tend to DD3. DD14 called her DGF and he picked her up. The next day, her DGF calls to ask me something but with an attitude. I ask DD14 what was wrong with him and at first she tells me she doesn't know but after some prodding, she tells me she told him she got in trouble for calling me at the hospital!!
That is a usual situation. She will make me and DH out to be complete monsters to her DGF especially. She used to try it with her DF and DSM but I talk to them very often so they know what's going on and have told her they already know what the deal is. But anyway, it's going to be tough without her here but i know in the long run, it will pay off.
to you
The biggest problem with parents today is kid's know that most of the time they don't mean what they say. I'm sure it was easier to let her go to DGF's but it wasn't better. Kid's want rules, behave better with rules, every parent I know that complains about their kid's have pretty much been non-existent in the rule department since they were young.
