Weddings from Hell

[jillyjoey]

You know it's going to be a good thread when it starts out with

She had the misfortune of being born to Cruella DeVille and her husband Hades.

Keep 'em coming.

 

[MareQ]

The worst wedding I ever went to was one that never happened!

My best friend's sister got engaged when we were 20. Their grandmother made the bride's dress and the dress for the Maid of Honor (My best friend) I went to the shower - bought a nice gift - 3 weeks befoer the wedding the bride got cold feet and called it off. NEVER got a thank you note or got the gift back.

Fats forward one year - bride is getting married definitely this time (same guy) My friend throws ANOTHER shower and invited me. Grandmother makes a NEW dress for bride and maid of honor as Bride decided this was a new beginning and needed all new. Go to the shower - YES another gift and Guess what?? Yup - bride gets cold feet AGAIN - and AGAIN no thank you note - no returned gift.

Fast forward a few months and my friend tells me her sister is getting married - for real this time. @@ Invited me to the 3rd shower - I politely decline the invitation and told her that I had already given her sister 2 gifts - which she never thanked me for or returned so I wasn't going in for a 3rd present. All hell breaks loose - I am called ungrateful -(yup she called ME ungratefull) My friend tells me I am a witch(with a B) I am stingy and she refuses to speak to me ever again unless I go to the shower and celebrate the start of her sister's new life.

Didn't go, no more best friend for me, was cheaper for me to cut my losses lmao: ) Sadly I also didn't get invited to the 3rd wedding - which wouldn't have mattered since she never went through with it the 3rd time either. The groom told the Bride to take a hike after she did this again. Guess he realized something is VERY wrong when the bride gets cold feet not once, not twice but THREE times

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

OMG, I wouldn't talk about my wedding for the longest time! First of all it was POURING down rain all day-- which is supposed to be good luck (sigh).

I almost didn't make it on time because my grandmother had died & I wanted to get dressed at her house & leave from there so she would still be a part of my wedding. I had no one to help me get dressed, my sisters were late showing up. The photographer showed up on time-- for a moment I thought he was going to have to help me get into my gown. He comes early to take pictures only to also tell me that he would have to leave early because he got called into his Government job & had to be there at such-and-such a time. No problem he said he would stage the pictures & give us a big discount. (Ending up only charging me $40 for ALL the rolls of film & developing of prints-- Great deal! )

Anyways finally make it to church. Find out that dh's family brought their children to our child-free ceremony-- fine-- that was ok. Really loved having my "wonderful" fil drunkinly announce every few minutes "when the **** is this gonna end" & other wonderful things. Really loved dbil loudly shooshing him, atleast he was trying to help.

My dh had a double ear infection, so it was really great when we (married Catholic) were walking to the Virgin Mary to dedicate flowers- well I was walking & dh was standing there so the priest tells him quietly "walk with her" dh says "what, walk on it?" and then proceeds to step on my veil and train as I'm walking away-- how I didn't fall backwards I'll never know.

Jump forward to the reception. Everythings going well. We're walking around. Well a very dear friend came to the wedding. He was very upset & heartbroken that I married dh. The man is/was like another father to me. Why he chose to come that day & share that information with me then I'll never know. I make the mistake of talking to him & he starts telling me this stuff. So I get upset & start crying. Tell me where is there that I can go hide to compose myself-- as all eyes are on me-- well to the basement of course. I go downstairs for a few minutes-- well apparently everyone saw me & told dh-- who might have had a little too much to drink (you know everyone loves to toast the groom). Well the way to the basement is 3 stairs then you come to a very small landing where you can turn right & step thru a door outside or open a tiny (safety) gate & go down 14 more stairs to turn left thru a door into the actual basement. Well from my viewpoint I'm in the basement trying to compose myself & hear a HUGE crash, dh apparently followed his beloved wife, he ran down the 3 steps & decide to hurdle the SAFETY gate & then missed every step there after only to land upside down at the bottom of the stairs against the door. He then turned himself over, crawled 2 steps to where I was & just collapsed. All I could think was "oh great I've been married for an hour & my dh is dead!" If that's not enough excitement the whole upstairs then starts spilling into the basement, they heard the commotion & think dh & I are fighting & we're throwing furniture at each other. Well my loving mother comes down & starts yelling at me to get upstairs because I'm ruining HER wedding. Thankfully the photographer stepped in & decided to stage a couple pictures of dh & I so I could compose myself. The pictures actually turned out great, you can hardly tell I was crying.

Not much happened after that except, because dh & I both started new jobs we were unable to take a honeymoon at that time. Well dh decided to celebrate by having drinks with everyone. Needless to say we were one of the last ones to leave our wedding. If I could of dragged him out of there earlier we could have gone away overnite.

Dh does still drive me crazy, but we just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary in November.

 

[aplejax76]

OMG, I wouldn't talk about my wedding for the longest time! First of all it was POURING down rain all day-- which is supposed to be good luck (sigh).

I almost didn't make it on time because my grandmother had died & I wanted to get dressed at her house & leave from there so she would still be a part of my wedding. I had no one to help me get dressed, my sisters were late showing up. The photographer showed up on time-- for a moment I thought he was going to have to help me get into my gown. He comes early to take pictures only to also tell me that he would have to leave early because he got called into his Government job & had to be there at such-and-such a time. No problem he said he would stage the pictures & give us a big discount. (Ending up only charging me $40 for ALL the rolls of film & developing of prints-- Great deal! )

Anyways finally make it to church. Find out that dh's family brought their children to our child-free ceremony-- fine-- that was ok. Really loved having my "wonderful" fil drunkinly announce every few minutes "when the **** is this gonna end" & other wonderful things. Really loved dbil loudly shooshing him, atleast he was trying to help.

My dh had a double ear infection, so it was really great when we (married Catholic) were walking to the Virgin Mary to dedicate flowers- well I was walking & dh was standing there so the priest tells him quietly "walk with her" dh says "what, walk on it?" and then proceeds to step on my veil and train as I'm walking away-- how I didn't fall backwards I'll never know.

Jump forward to the reception. Everythings going well. We're walking around. Well a very dear friend came to the wedding. He was very upset & heartbroken that I married dh. The man is/was like another father to me. Why he chose to come that day & share that information with me then I'll never know. I make the mistake of talking to him & he starts telling me this stuff. So I get upset & start crying. Tell me where is there that I can go hide to compose myself-- as all eyes are on me-- well to the basement of course. I go downstairs for a few minutes-- well apparently everyone saw me & told dh-- who might have had a little too much to drink (you know everyone loves to toast the groom). Well the way to the basement is 3 stairs then you come to a very small landing where you can turn right & step thru a door outside or open a tiny (safety) gate & go down 14 more stairs to turn left thru a door into the actual basement. Well from my viewpoint I'm in the basement trying to compose myself & hear a HUGE crash, dh apparently followed his beloved wife, he ran down the 3 steps & decide to hurdle the SAFETY gate & then missed every step there after only to land upside down at the bottom of the stairs against the door. He then turned himself over, crawled 2 steps to where I was & just collapsed. All I could think was "oh great I've been married for an hour & my dh is dead!" If that's not enough excitement the whole upstairs then starts spilling into the basement, they heard the commotion & think dh & I are fighting & we're throwing furniture at each other. Well my loving mother comes down & starts yelling at me to get upstairs because I'm ruining HER wedding. Thankfully the photographer stepped in & decided to stage a couple pictures of dh & I so I could compose myself. The pictures actually turned out great, you can hardly tell I was crying.

Not much happened after that except, because dh & I both started new jobs we were unable to take a honeymoon at that time. Well dh decided to celebrate by having drinks with everyone. Needless to say we were one of the last ones to leave our wedding. If I could of dragged him out of there earlier we could have gone away overnite.

Dh does still drive me crazy, but we just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary in November.

I know I shouldn't be laughing at this but the veil part is one the funniest things I have ever heard.
I have tears running down my face......

 

[SleepyMom]

My story isn't so much the wedding from down under, as much as the bride and her family. Sadly we had to stay because our DD was the flowergirl and thankfully young enough at the time to miss all the drama going on, so she was about the only one there having a good time.

The Groom is DH's nephew, and his wife and her family were really something. During all the planning, she kept telling the groom's family they had to pay for this and that and they did just to keep the peace (they went over and above normal groom expenses, the sad part was how the bride constantly brags on how much money she comes from). After the wedding I went over to see the wedding pics and order a copy of our DD and while there her Mom showed up and was just thrilled to share the news that the catering place made a mistake on the bill and undercharged them $700 The Mom and bride both worked for other parts of this company and had no intention of letting them know the mistake, plus I knew the groom's family had paid a large part towards that bill and they were never informed of the mistake either.

The actual wedding went off OK, but as we were walking into the reception (bride and groom were off somewhere doing pics) the bride's Aunt came stomping past us and ripped into the couple behind us. I accidently caught some on tape because I was taping DD. The couple she was yelling at was the groom's Aunt & Uncle from the other side of his family, so we know them. Her Aunt was screaming about something she thought happened during the wedding, it was awful. The Aunt & Uncle who were yelled at stayed long enough to tell the newly married couple why they weren't staying and then they left. Most of the groom's family followed, we were about the only ones there and even we only stayed about 2 hours for DD's sake.

The bride had to beg everyone to go through the buffet line again because there was so much left over food... well yeah, what do you expect when you run off half the guests Maybe 10 people danced all night. It was just a very tense night.

They are still married though! The yelling Aunt pretty much continued to run the show for about 4 to 5 years, but they have finally broke away from her by the sounds of it.

 

[GraysMom]

So far I don't have any wedding from hell stories to share (and hopefully I still won't after my two brothers get married in the future), but I though I'd pass along this website that has tons of wedding nightmares to read about. Check it out at http://www.etiquettehell.com/content/eh_main/gen/eh_index.shtml

 

[PrincessKitty1]

The pictures actually turned out great, you can hardly tell I was crying.

There have been some great stories in this thread, but this has got to be the funniest line!

 

[salmoneous]

The bridesmaids all wore halter dresses with no bras, LOL. ****s were bouncing all the way down the aisle.

You say that as if it's a BAD thing

 

[horseshowmom]

So far I don't have any wedding from hell stories to share (and hopefully I still won't after my two brothers get married in the future), but I though I'd pass along this website that has tons of wedding nightmares to read about. Check it out at http://www.etiquettehell.com/content/eh_main/gen/eh_index.shtml

Interesting site!

 

[JunieJay]

You say that as if it's a BAD thing

I guess you had to be there to get the full effect. Not a good look by anyone's standards, put it that way.

 

[ducklite]

I've got a few. The first one I didn't attend, this was recounted by a coworker.

A distant cousin (the groom) of her DH's was getting married 800 miles away, and called and asked if my friend's son (who the groom had never met) could be the ring bearer. My friend agreed, but wasn't thrilled with the idea of traveling 1600 miles to go to the wedding of people she hadn't met and her DH hadn't seen in ten or more years.

The bride and groom originally decided that all the men would jsut wear suits, so my friend went out and bought her six year old a suit. Two weeks before the wedding, the groom calls and says that the bride has changed her mind, that all men (including the ring bearer) needed to be in tuxes. Because the suit she had bought had been altered, she couldn't return it. So they get her son measured for a tux.

There had been several showers for the bride, and my friend had been invited to a couple of them. She sent a gift for one, regrets but no gift for the second. The brides mother complained to the grooms mother because my friend didn't send a gift to the second shower. The grooms mother than called my friends MIL who proceeded to admonish my friend for not sending a gift.

They left on a Thursday, friend and her DH taking vacation time and pulling the three kids from school to drive to the wedding. Spent all day and into the night on the road, only to arrive at the hotel and find out that the brides mother had cancelled their reservation and rebooked them into a place that cost four times as much! (Don't ever allow someone else to make your reservation!!) The original place was now booked up.

The next day the grooms mother called them and invited them over to their house for a few hours--but made it clear that the house had been professionally cleaned earlier in the week, so the children would ahve to stay outside! They ended up going to the local theater and catching a matinee with the kids to keep them occupied before the rehearsal.

They get to the rehearsal at the appointed time, and all goes as planned, except that they made it clear that only the ring bearer was included in the rehearsal dinner--this is after the groom had told them they were all invited a few weeks earlier. Um yeah, the six year old is just gonna drive himself. So they end up saying that it was going to be too late of a night and leave. Take the kids to Friday's or somepalce like that and then swimming at the hotel pool.

The next day they had to be at the church at 10:30 for an 11:30 wedding. NO idea why so early, they still haven't figured that out. They aren't familiar with the area, so leave a little extra time, and end up there almost 75 minutes before the wedding.

The wedding goes off without a hitch, son does great as the ring bearer. They hang out for the photo's then drive to the reception. Now it's about 1:00, and they were expecting lunch, right? Wrong. The reception food consisted of a few trays of cold appetizers (think cheese, crackers, and veggies), iced tea, and cake. There was nothing else to eat, and if you wanted anything to drink except iced tea you ahd to buy it from the cash bar. There were also about 30 chairs for 200 people, and no tables. They hand a DJ and dance floor though.

After two hours of standing around and trying to balance a tiny plate with some crackers and celery sticks, and three kids who at that point hadn't eaten since 8:00 am and it's 3:00 pm. So my friend tells her DH that they really need to leave and get the kids something to eat. The bride throws a hissy fit beacuse "NO ONE IN THE WEDDING PARTY CAN LEAVE BEFORE THE BRIDE!"

My friend packed up the kids and left, telling her husband that if didn't want to come with them, he could find his own way back to the hotel. He came. They stopped at the first McDonalds they came to and fed the kids.

I'll write out the other two later... they get better!

Anne

 

[belle_of_the_ball]

OMG im just reading this seeing everybody i know doing things like this!!!

 

[Tink_Or_Belle]

well mine wasn;t as bad as many my actual wedding went well however my day before the wedding pictures did not... I went to an outdoor concert the Sunday before my wedding so in my wedding PIctures on Thursday I have peeling sunburned nose... that and the florist had never heard of a FRIDAY wedding so she forgot to make my flowers for pictures and I was crying the 1st few pictures of me with the red eyes and red peeling nose did NOT get purchased...

 

[shirleyb]

This is from a wedding I attended for a co-worker, several years ago. It's hilarious, because it didn't happen to me!

First, everyone showed up at the church, and realized they forgot the bride! I know that always happens in the movies, but I guess it happens in real life too.

While the bride was walking down the aisle, there were technical difficulties with the music. She stopped mid-way for about 2 minutes until it was resolved, then finished walking down the aisle.

The ceremony was Greek Orthodox, which I guess means everything has to be done in threes. I couldn't understand a lot of what was happening, but at one point, the couple had to walk (with connected crowns on their heads) around the alter three times. They knocked a candle off the alter, which almost caught the veil on fire.

The reception was pretty uneventful, except about half the restaurant had to be closed off because there was so much snow a lot of people didn't show.

When the couple got to their hotel room, the room was locked from the inside. The front desk clerk came up and let them in through the adjoining room. While the couple was consummating the marriage, the front desk called and said they would have to move to another room, since their room was already occupied!!

The next morning, the groom was thirsty and drank the glass of water by the bed, which had his wife's contacts in! That was back in the day before disposables, and she had no others.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

This one is always a favorite:

When my SIL decided to get married, she and her husband decided to kind-of elope in Las Vegas. Only immediate family was invited. Ergo, my DH was invited but I was not. I was, however, invited to the "party" to be held about 2 weeks later. The party WAS NOT a wedding reception. Well, except for the bride's wedding dress, the groom's tux, the photographer, the wedding cake, the cake cutting ceremony, the "first dance." But it WAS NOT a wedding reception. At least that's what I was repeatedly told. The PARTY was in a chic night club. When we arrived at MILs house a few days before the PARTY, we saw these place cards out on the dining room table. "Umm, did you notice that about 40 people are seated at table 12?" "Yeah, that's right. They're on the stage." "Uh, okay." The nightclub had approximately 4 real tables. All of the other "tables" that people were assigned to consisted of 3 or 4 short, small cocktail/club tables pushed together with a collection of equally small, squat chairs. Except for table 12. That really was the stage area of the club. There was only one slow song during the party, and only the bride and groom were permitted to dance to that one. All other music was of the pounding, pulsing club genre, played at ear-splitting volume. The elderly grandparents and over-28 crowd really enjoyed it. The most memorable part of the the bride and groom lip-synching "Proud Mary" in a pre-choreographed performance on the club stage.

Outstanding.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I have two stories to tell, and both brides are very dear friends of mine.

My college friend was getting married in Bellingham, her hometown. Her fiance was from California, and so his family and a few friends came up for the wedding. My friend is normally a very calm, logical type of person, but apparently under extreme stress, she turns into Godzilla. Or Bridezilla, in this case.

The morning of the wedding she was snapping at me (MoH) and our other friend, who was a bridesmaid, so much so that she had the other girl in tears. I had a chat with the bride, told her she needed to get herself under control, and I would go calm our friend.

Just when we were settling down, the photographer called us to begin taking pictures. The bride went down the hall to collect the male half of the wedding party, but found only the groom. He looked really upset, and reluctantly told her that "the guys", his friends from California, had driven up to Canada since it was so close. They just wanted to cross the border, and then come back, just to say they'd been there. Well, it was summer, the border is very busy that time of year, and it didn't look like they'd be back in time for pictures, and possibly not the wedding.

The bride began swearing like a sailor, yelling at her future mate and stomping down the hall in her lovely white dress, veil and pumps. It's a sight I've never forgotten. As it turned out, the guys made it to the border, but since the line was long to cross into Canada, they just turned around, and made it in time for pictures.

Another friend was getting married in a small town outside of Portland, near her hometown. It was late September, and an outdoor wedding was planned, but the weather is iffy that time of year, more likely to be raining late in the month. I distinctly remember cautioning my friend about arranging for some sort of indoor or tent cover should the weather go bad, and they were surprised at how much it would add to their cost. But she assured me they decided to do it after all.

DH and I drove to the location, and were delighted with the beautiful surroundings, which included an open air amphitheater for the actual wedding. The overcast skies actually made for some lovely, clear wedding photos. Unfortunately, just as the sunset wedding began, the skies opened up and just poured! The bride walked down the steps to her mate, and her lovely white dress had mud along the train and back. It rained so hard that everyone was soaked to the bones, and the water just ran in rivers down the amphitheater seating. A woman in our row wore a red dress that bled all the way down to where we were sitting.

There were a couple of tents set up for the reception, one over the buffet area, and another over the tables and chairs, but the tents were roof-only, so we huddled and shivered our way through the reception. I just remember getting back to our hotel room and feeling like I would never be warm again!

 

[ducklite]

Here's my next one.

My best friends wonderful daughter and her great now son-in-law had planned a beautiful wedding with all the bells and whistles. Fast forward a month or so before the wedding date, he was deployed. There was no guarantee that he would be able to get back for even a day for the wedding, so they went to a JP and had a quickie civil ceremony and called the big shebang off for the time being.

Fast forward a year later. The fiance has returned from the sandbox, and they reschedule the wedding. In the meantime, the bride has gained about 30 pounds and can barely get into her gown. One of the bridesmaids is pregnant. Another has had a boo-bah job and is now a 40 DD and can't fit into her gown. Oh, and I forgot about the one who has taken up pole-dancing, but that comes later in the story.

The limo that was supposed to pick up the bride and bridesmaids to take them to the church showed up 45 minutes late, and the driver was stoned. So the girls climbed into the brides brothers hummer (Not H-2--we're talking true military style Hummer) to get to the wedding.

The wedding was beautiful, even though the bride and half of the bridal party is squeezed into the gowns like they are painted on. What can you do. It happens.

The reception had a ton of great food. All was well until the dancing began. My friends DH danced with her once and wouldn't dance with her again for the rest of the night (long story I'm not going into, but a couple years of marriage counseling alter and things are getting better) the DD BOO-BAH JOB FALLS OUT OF HER DRESS WHILE ON THE DANCE FLOOR!!!

Then the poledancer starts. She was using the leg of any guy on the dance floor as her "pole" and making a scene.

The brother of the bride almost got into a fist fight with the owner of the limo service who showed up complaining that his driver was sent away, and three of the grooms friends got so drunk they were admitted to the ER with alcohol poisoning!

But we had a great time!

Anne

 

[Jeafl]

My sister in law's wedding was definitely the wedding from hell, at least for me anyway. I had the misfortune to be asked to be a bridesmaid no less.

First of all it was in July, and it was 102 degrees outside. The church was not air conditioned and people were dropping like flies. To top it off, our bridesmaid dress was dark burgundy with long, poofy sleeves and a high neck and chest made from sheer netting (truly, you have to see it to believe it!). Then, it had a very fitted waist and a HUGE, full skirt with not one, but THREE bows across my rear end! Heinous is the only word to describe it.

She was marrying a guy named Billy-Virgil, who is a self-proclaimed hillbilly. He wanted pictures of the entire bridal party smoking Swisher Sweets! Well, I do not smoke, let alone cheap cigars! They wanted me to pose for pictures with one in my mouth anyway.

The morning of the wedding we had to go to the "Sportsman's Club" where the reception was going to be held to help decorate. There were more dead, stuffed animals than a taxidermist's showroom. They thought it would be fun to "dress up" the animals. So we had to put cheap, plastic sunglasses on all the dead ducks and squirrels. Also, we had to put mardi gras beads on the moose and deer heads. My favorite was putting my father in law's Hawaiian shirt on the dead bear! Then for added panache, we laid butcher paper across all of the tables instead of tablecloths.

Their first dance song was The Curly Shuffle, if that tells you anything. Her flowers as she walked up the aisle was a single red rose formed from a piece of tin. Never have I seen anything like it! The bridesmaids carried a single carnation made from balsam wood. And did I tell you the groom cut the diamond for her engagement ring? He is a tool and die maker so he thought that meant he could cut diamonds. He bought a rough diamond off of who knows where and cut 6 very uneven facets in it. I could go on, but you probably wouldn't believe most of it.

 

[horseshowmom]

My sister in law's wedding was definitely the wedding from hell, at least for me anyway. I had the misfortune to be asked to be a bridesmaid no less.

First of all it was in July, and it was 102 degrees outside. The church was not air conditioned and people were dropping like flies. To top it off, our bridesmaid dress was dark burgundy with long, poofy sleeves and a high neck and chest made from sheer netting (truly, you have to see it to believe it!). Then, it had a very fitted waist and a HUGE, full skirt with not one, but THREE bows across my rear end! Heinous is the only word to describe it.

She was marrying a guy named Billy-Virgil, who is a self-proclaimed hillbilly. He wanted pictures of the entire bridal party smoking Swisher Sweets! Well, I do not smoke, let alone cheap cigars! They wanted me to pose for pictures with one in my mouth anyway.

The morning of the wedding we had to go to the "Sportsman's Club" where the reception was going to be held to help decorate. There were more dead, stuffed animals than a taxidermist's showroom. They thought it would be fun to "dress up" the animals. So we had to put cheap, plastic sunglasses on all the dead ducks and squirrels. Also, we had to put mardi gras beads on the moose and deer heads. My favorite was putting my father in law's Hawaiian shirt on the dead bear! Then for added panache, we laid butcher paper across all of the tables instead of tablecloths.

Their first dance song was The Curly Shuffle, if that tells you anything. Her flowers as she walked up the aisle was a single red rose formed from a piece of tin. Never have I seen anything like it! The bridesmaids carried a single carnation made from balsam wood. And did I tell you the groom cut the diamond for her engagement ring? He is a tool and die maker so he thought that meant he could cut diamonds. He bought a rough diamond off of who knows where and cut 6 very uneven facets in it. I could go on, but you probably wouldn't believe most of it.

Okay, I've read all of the others and shaken my head in amazement, but I've got to ask you, is your story really for REAL or are you just putting us on?

 

[JunieJay]

Okay, I've read all of the others and shaken my head in amazement, but I've got to ask you, is your story really for REAL or are you just putting us on?

You obviously haven't heard about Jeafl's MIL.

(who I assume is the mother of this bride Jeafl? )