Weddings from Hell

[horseshowmom]

I've got one. This wasn't mine, but someone I know.

Bride was marrying someone who was originally from the other side of the country, so as far as his mother was concerned, the bride was a definite deterrant to the groom ever returning "home," so there was already some tension there.

At the rehearsal dinner, the bride's mother accused the bride of being too friendly with the best man, who was her husband's best friend. Her father basically said the same thing.

So, on to the wedding. The mother wears this dress that wasn't appropriate for an afternoon wedding - it had these straps across the back and her skin was pressing through. Not a pretty sight, but definitely an attention getter.

The wedding itself was nice, and the bride and groom were gracious. She was absolutely beautiful.

After the wedding, they were relaxing in the hotel, where the bride's mother tells the groom's mother that the bride was sleeping with the best man! The bride's brother (who had been drinking) joined right in & told her new-mother & father-in law that his sister was basically fooling around with the best man - totally made up!! The bride had gone to her friend's room to get something (and the best man and this other friend were now sharing the room, so there was NOTHING going on between the bride & the best man). When she got back to the hotel room where her new husband and both their parents were, his mother screamed at her that she ruined her son's life and she never wanted to speak to her again. Oh, and while her mother was totally trashing her, her father was telling the groom's father that his son was basically whipped because the bride made the groom do all the housework and laundry. It was truly horrible!

There's more, but those were the highlights. It took a long time for the bride & groom to forgive their parents, but they did, and the parents are back in their lives.

Oh - the bride & groom have been married for many years now, have lovely children, and one of the strongest marriages I've seen.

This example presents a strong case for an elopement...

 

[belle_of_the_ball]

bump...im sure there are some more stories!!

 

[Amberle3]

I've got 3, which I think I'll have to put in separate posts. One is my wedding and the other 2 are ones I was at. Not that any were wedding from hell, but all had their moments.

My wedding:
My MIL has never liked me. The first time I was over at their place she didn't say a word to me, she decided to scour the kitchen and bang around the pots and pans instead. Her term of endearment for me is "evil white devil woman" so realistically there's not much chance of having any kind of friendly relationship with her.

DH and I decided that we were going to pay for the wedding ourselves. We opted to get married in Las Vegas and planned on inviting close friends and immediate family only. Well no that wouldn't do, there were extended family that had to be invited. MIL was absolutely livid that the response cards were being sent to me - she felt they should have been sent to her. She still tells me what a rift it caused in the family that the response cards weren't sent to her. She sent a big list of her friends and church members that she was insisting be invited to the wedding (we didn't). The had a little fit because she wanted us to give her a stack of blank invitations so she could make them out to whoever she wanted and just hand them out (we didn't). Okay so MIL now really hates me and I still get lectures on how I don't respect her. *sigh*

Wedding planning - no problem. I love Vegas, nothing simpler for getting married. Booked the chapel, they took care of the photography and flowers etc. Day of the wedding we (DH and I and others) went down for breakfast at the buffet. About an hour after breakfast the best man and his girl arrive in town and call up to the room - hey great DH says, have you eaten? I"ll show you where the buffet is! Right then BIL brings up the champagne for the reception that he bought for us months earlier and has been sitting in the garage. We decide we should open one to make sure it's still drinkable otherwise we're going to need to make a liquor run before the reception. Yep it's fine. So DH goes off with best man and girl to "show them" the buffet. Comes back an hour and a half later - he'd decided to have lunch while he was there. In the meantime I'm left in a hotel room alone with an open bottle of champagne. Hey, works for me.

Wedding itself was short and simple. Looked out at the 50 or so people in the room and realized I had no idea who most of them were. After the ceremony MIL comes up to me with this half-resigned/half PO'd look, hugs me and says "welcome to MY family". Gee, thanks. Reception went well - big banquet where I couldn't eat most of the dishes because they had to be traditional seafood things and I'm allergic to seafood (ended up at the casino coffee shop afterwards). One of the servers bumped into the table with the cake on it and Mickey & Minnie cake topper fell off the cake and broke. It's been glued back together, life goes on.

 

[Amberle3]

Other wedding #1:
Just odd from start to finish. Groom was a friend of DH, this was his second marriage. Invitations were handmade by the bride and groom and with an obvious fall theme. Fall colours, leaves all over the place, no mistake about it. Wedding is out of town and we book into one of the "official" wedding motels. Wow, what a dump. Mold in the shower, roaches, the work. Ewww. But that's okay, it's only for 2 nights. We decide to walk from the motel to the wedding - much to the shock of the locals. It's 8 blocks away!! Everyone else drives there. Tiny town, 3/4 of it is at the wedding. Century old church with no air conditioning is packed, and it's HOT in there. We're looking over the wedding programs and they're... odd. They seem to have abandoned the fall theme and have gone with a movie theme. The whole thing is done up like credits. There are pictures in it, and instead of being pictures of the wedding party they're pictures from movies. The bride and groom are from Princess Bride. Ookay. The wedding party comes in, and the bridesmaids are all in russets and moss colours and definite fall theming. The flower girl comes in and she's in this little Renaissance-type dress. The bride enters, and there's no mistake that she's got a definite Renaissance theme going on. So now we've got a fall/movie/Renaissance thing. The singer for the ceremony starts on a song called "Holy Desperation". I'm not at all familiar with it and I don't know if it's a typical wedding song but we thought it was a little odd. The singer is so into the song, she's practically in rapture. She was so overcome that she had to pause at one point to compose herself before she could continue.

On the way to the reception we meet up with some people that DH knew and there's a brief discussion on what on earth was that about etc. At the reception we discover oh look, the singer's at our table. All night long people kept coming up to her and saying how beautiful and touching the song was. You could see the looks exchanged around the table each time and it was obvious that no one else "got" the song either. The best man came up to our table during the reception, tossed a set of keys on it and told us we were responsible for "decorating" the happy couple's getaway car. Uhm, okay. The discussion/planning begins - well we could do this... no we did that last time he got married... Kind of surreal.

Other wedding #2:
Another friend of DH. Another out of town wedding, this time in a national park. We get there the night before the wedding, we've made it in time for the rehearsal dinner. They've gone with the tradition of inviting all the out of down guests to the rehearsal dinner as well, but because it's kind of a destination wedding everyone is from out of town, so everyone's at the dinner. The bride goes over the plans for the wedding the next day, paying special attention to the photography. The ceremony is at site A, some pictures will be taken there and then the wedding party AND THE WEDDING PARTY ONLY is to proceed to site B for more pictures. The guests are to proceed to the reception site for appetizers etc until the wedding party arrives. Seems clear enough.

We get to the ceremony site, and yes it looks lovely. The only washroom is an outhouse, so the big expensive dresses look really odd beside it (and going in to it). Even though it's a no camping area there are 2 guys that have decided to camp there anyway. There are beer bottles all over these guys are long passed out and snoring away. The Mother of Bride (MOB) decides to commandeer the photographer. Most of the guests are from the bride's family. The groom has us, and his parents and sister. The MOB had apparently decided that since the whole family was there and there's a professional photographer that he should be taking pictures of the family instead, so she alternates between dragging him to people and bringing people to him to pose for portraits. The photographer is all too eager to accommodate, and I'm sure he's thinking great, more sales! I saw him take *1* picture of the groom's family. Once the ceremony pictures are finished they're ready to head to site B (which by the way is 45 minutes away from site A). Now remember this is where the guests are supposed to head to the reception site and munch on appetizers. Well the MOB has other plans because she decides that no everyone should have the opportunity to have their pictures taken at site B and instructs all the guests to ignore the bride's directions and go to site B. We head to site B (DH was in the wedding party), where again the MOB has taken control of the photographs. There are no arranged photos with the wedding party, it ends up being pictures of anyone who would like to have their picture taken with the bride and groom. DH and I leave site B early and head to the reception site

The catering staff is frantic by the time we get there, because no one has called them to let them know what's going on, and there's apparently an accident somewhere in the park so they've feared that the wedding party is involved. It's now about 2.5 hours past the time when guests were supposed to start arriving. No place cards are on the tables because the bridemaids didn't do that earlier in the day. We find the head table, do a quick chair count and figure out that yes we're both supposed to sit there, so we do. When people start arriving the MOB has a meltdown because there's no room for her at the head table and hauls one of the waiters over to insist that the squeeze in another chair and place setting for her. The MOB is at the wedding with her current husband, but apparently she doesn't care where he sits. Fortunately the bride and groom arrived at that point and the bride managed to convince her mother that she was NOT sitting at the head table.

Did I mention that more than half the wedding party was under 21? The MOH was 14. On the way to the reception 2 of the 3 bridesmaids decided to stop at the hotel and change out of their dresses because they thought they were too stuffy. The appetizers included sushi, and the bridesmaids were appalled when the bride took one and put the whole thing in her mouth, the ridiculed her for it the rest of the evening. One of the bride's uncles decided to get nice and close to me (to get a good look down my top) and said how uncomfortable he was because he hated to get all dressed up like this. He was wearing a polo shirt and dockers. I hate to think what his idea of casual is. The oldest bridesmaid asked the bride if she'd have to give the engagement ring back now that they were married. I'm very happy for DH's friend that he found someone that he seems to love so much, but felt so sorry for his parents and sister because they were so obviously ignored by the bride's family.

 

[Freyja]

My wedding day, let's see...

Showed up early to get my nails done, and the girl had quit the night before.

Finally got them finished by the back-up nail girl, was behind schedule, and got stopped for speeding on the way to the base where the wedding was to be held.

Arrived to find the bridesmaids dressing, but also to discover that the pantyhose sizes sold in the BX didn't mesh very well with conventional store sizes.

Ran across the street to the BX in my shorts and T-shirt to buy more pantyhose (I was the only one with an ID card) as my family arrived at the church. They thought I had changed my mind and was running away, and chased me down, yelling all the way.

Made a series of snarky comments about my about-to-be MIL, unaware that the videographer was taping the whole thing (I was putting on MIL's pearl necklace). As we were getting a copy of the raw tape to watch that evening with the family, this meant rewinding the tape, and re-enacting the pearl necklace sequence to make it suitable for family viewing.

Got into the church vestibule, started to walk down the aisle, and the waist strings on the antique crenoline I was wearing broke, which meant it was falling out from under the dress. A quick trip to a small corner of the vestibule, dress over the head and a couple of staples later, I finally made it down the aisle.

Other than that, it was the perfect wedding!!

OMG!!!

 

[rie'smom]

This was a rehearsal dinner thing. After dinner and a couple of toasts,the bride wants to share some pictures. OK,we're thinking cute pictures of the couple. Nooooo She had a video slide show of the couple from the time they were born! This lasted a one hour and was probably the most mind numbing thing that I've ever witnessed.

 

[Stacerita]

These are hilarious. Some sound worst than the weddings I've been too. I needed this laugh.

 

[Judy from Boise]

Bump for more promised stories!

 

[Pigeon]

One of the bride's uncles decided to get nice and close to me (to get a good look down my top) and said how uncomfortable he was because he hated to get all dressed up like this. He was wearing a polo shirt and dockers. I hate to think what his idea of casual is.

My step sister recently got married. I'm sorry to say (for the sake of this thread, that is) that the wedding was lovely. The reception was at a very classy country club.

However, there was one couple... He was wearing worn overalls and a flannel shirt. She was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. I still haven't figured out who they were. I didn't see them talk to anyone else all evening.

 

[thptrek]

This was a rehearsal dinner thing. After dinner and a couple of toasts,the bride wants to share some pictures. OK,we're thinking cute pictures of the couple. Nooooo She had a video slide show of the couple from the time they were born! This lasted a one hour and was probably the most mind numbing thing that I've ever witnessed.

This reminds me of an earlier post in this thread about playing a videotape and it is the wrong tape and it shows a woman giving birth, lol.

Did the video slide show have ultrasound pictures? roflmao.

 

[ducklite]

My step sister recently got married. I'm sorry to say (for the sake of this thread, that is) that the wedding was lovely. The reception was at a very classy country club.

However, there was one couple... He was wearing worn overalls and a flannel shirt. She was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. I still haven't figured out who they were. I didn't see them talk to anyone else all evening.

Maybe they were wedding crashers, and everybody thought that they were "the other sides" kin.

Anne

 

[RUDisney]

Maybe they were wedding crashers, and everybody thought that they were "the other sides" kin.

Anne

Where was Dwight Shrute when they needed him!

 

[mytwotinks]

Where was Dwight Shrute when they needed him!

I was thinking of this thread the entire time I was watching last week's episode of the office!!!

 

[thptrek]

Sorry (well actually not sorry) to report that this weekend's wedding was wonderful and I have nothing to report. It was great food, beautiful people and a moving wedding ceremony.

 

[missj1975]

I went to a very nice but short wedding on Saturday. The ceremony was at 1:00pm at our Baptist church with the reception immediately following the ceremony at a Luthern Church down the street. The reception consisted of everyone sitting around tables eating cake and drinking punch. And then pretty much everyone left the recepiton at 3:30. The bride was dressed in a beautiful and expensive looking dress. And the bridesmaids were wearing very nice red dresses. But I thought it was odd that the whole wedding/reception only lasted 2.5 hours. I'm used to weddings being a whole day deal.

 

[Nennie]

These stories are hilarious!! Here’s my worst wedding!

At the church:
1) The bridesmaids and the bride had silk flowers, not a big deal, but they were ratty looking, as though they’d been packed in boxes for the past 20 years.

2) The bride’s aunt sang at the ceremony. It was like a bad American Idol audition, and all the wedding guests started giggling. The bride was giggling too it was so bad!

3) One of the female guests was wearing a sports bra and jeans...and nothing else! Everyone was staring at her when she went up the aisle for communion!

At the reception:
1) The DJ looked like a homeless old man who had been hired at the last minute. His shirt was mis-buttoned, and he needed a shave. He had a monotone voice, and never even announced the bridal party when they walked in He had a flashing sign over his head that said “It’s Party Time with DJ Pepper Paul” which was the complete opposite of the DJ’s personality (or lack thereof).

2) Most of the guests got obnoxiously drunk, and the sports-bra girl was making out with her boyfriend the whole night.

3) The bride’s grandmother caught the bouquet, and a young guy caught the garter. “DJ Pepper Paul” had them dance together, rather than the less-appropriate tradition that would have left the young man sliding a garter up the leg of a 70 year old woman. Here comes my favorite part....while they were dancing, the drunk guests started chanting “Slip her the tongue!” I was in shock!!

4) They did a “dollar dance” and the bride put the dollars in her cleavage.

5) There was a high school reunion in the next ballroom, and since the bride hated DJ Pepper Paul, she left her own reception, and spent the rest of the night at the high school reunion!!

What a night!!

 

[speedydisteen]

These stories are hilarious!! Here’s my worst wedding!

At the church:
1) The bridesmaids and the bride had silk flowers, not a big deal, but they were ratty looking, as though they’d been packed in boxes for the past 20 years.

2) The bride’s aunt sang at the ceremony. It was like a bad American Idol audition, and all the wedding guests started giggling. The bride was giggling too it was so bad!

3) One of the female guests was wearing a sports bra and jeans...and nothing else! Everyone was staring at her when she went up the aisle for communion!

At the reception:
1) The DJ looked like a homeless old man who had been hired at the last minute. His shirt was mis-buttoned, and he needed a shave. He had a monotone voice, and never even announced the bridal party when they walked in He had a flashing sign over his head that said “It’s Party Time with DJ Pepper Paul” which was the complete opposite of the DJ’s personality (or lack thereof).

2) Most of the guests got obnoxiously drunk, and the sports-bra girl was making out with her boyfriend the whole night.

3) The bride’s grandmother caught the bouquet, and a young guy caught the garter. “DJ Pepper Paul” had them dance together, rather than the less-appropriate tradition that would have left the young man sliding a garter up the leg of a 70 year old woman. Here comes my favorite part....while they were dancing, the drunk guests started chanting “Slip her the tongue!” I was in shock!!

4) They did a “dollar dance” and the bride put the dollars in her cleavage.

5) There was a high school reunion in the next ballroom, and since the bride hated DJ Pepper Paul, she left her own reception, and spent the rest of the night at the high school reunion!!

What a night!!

oh my gosh! I probably would have died there!