Wedding Shower Help Needed .. Couples shower or not?!?!

[cheerbop]

I am hosting a shower for my soon to be Sister In Law in March.

First off, my mom wants me to have a couples shower. Any experience with these? Ideas for themes, food, and all?

The one idea I did have is to have a Cinderellla/Fairy Tale Theme...it shows both the Prince and the Princess and is more of a silvery blue type color, not feminine in color. Do you think this would be odd for a Couples shower?
I don't want to be too fru-fru, but I also just LOVE the Crystal castle cake topper and the Crystal Carriage Cake Topper.

I am just at a loss here............
I am going to talk to my mom more and see if she for sure wants a couples shower...

Thanks for any advice

 

[tw1nsmom]

I probably wouldn't theme it too much for a couples party. Depending on where you're located, I would either do a barbeque, or maybe a cocktail/hor'dourves party. You could still use the cake toppers, just go low key with the rest of the decorations. I would also avoid some of the more girly games. Depending on the interests of the crowd, you could do a poker game, or one of those murder mystery role playing games (I would only do those if you know the crowd would really like it). Really, by the time you eat, visit, and open gifts, you'll have taken up most of the time.

 

[BessVa]

Hi - I think for a couple's wedding shower, I also wouldn't go too girly or fairytale. Once theme, depending on the couple and their lifestyle, I've seen work well is a "garden and garage" party. The gifts ranged from girly gift-baskets of pretty plants, seeds and bulbs to boy-toys of loud power tools.

 

[Bearvet]

For our couples shower many years ago it was Bar and Barbeque - we got lots of useful items (many that we still use 22 years later!). It would also be easy to have the party itself be a barbeque.

 

[WDWAurora]

I would talk to the man involved, because my husband wanted nothing to do with the showers except for the last minute appearance to say thanks (and signal everyone to go home). He is very much not into hanging out at a "girly" thing, even if other guys are there. He didn't even want to go to the one my church held, which was co-ed. My dad avoided them...I don't know, guys are kinda macho about things like that in the south, not as open as they are in other parts of the country, or at least that's been my experience with all the weddings that have happened in the past couple of years for us....

 

[cheerbop]

I was kind of thinking that the fairytale may be toomuch, but I just LOVE it! (can I get married again?! )

We live in Norhtern Ohio so it will be too cold for a BBQ, but that would work perfectly in our big backyard.....we have a big patio and deck... OH well!

So, I am at a loss for food....my brother likes Chinese, so I thought about doing it with alot of that type of food....
But, his bride to be is VERY plain with her likes of food. And, it won't matter what type of cake I busy because she doesn't like cake at all!

Still need to talk with my mom and make sure we are having a couples shower.

 

[jennyL]

We had a couples shower before my wedding in 2004. It was a pig pickin BBQ. We ended up getting lots of gifts off of our registry. We didn't have a theme except for the BBQ part.

My BIL and his fiance are getting married in March of this year so we are hosting them a couples shower here in Cary since they are getting married in Boston. She is from up north and wants a Pig Pickin so I think thats what we are going to do too. I'm not sure what kindof gifts or theme we will have but being what it is I'm thinking some todo with fun and games or gifts for an evening together or something like that. They aren't making a huge registry like I had so I'm hoping to help people with the gift buying. We are expecting alot of their main gifts to come here since alot of the people they are inviting from here are not going to the wedding in Boston in March. LOL

 

[golfgal]

I have been to some couple's showers. One was a couples baby shower, the women sat in one room and talked, the men went into another and watched a football game. When it was time to open presents, the guys came out but then disappeared right after all the gifts were opened.

We went to one really fun couples wedding shower. It was at the lake home of the aunt of the groom. They had water activities, a bonfire, outdoor games, etc. It was a blast. They had a Chuck Wagon catering service come do the food (barbecue food). Everyone enjoyed that because it was more of a party atmosphere then a "shower" atmosphere.

 

[cheerbop]

Yeah....
I would LOVE doing the BBQ type party but it is too cold here in Ohio in March to do that, so this will be an indoor party....
SAD!

Someone suggested doing a "pre-Wedding" party that is 1/2 and 1/2 almost.....
it would be like a his and hers party....1/2 the cake decor with girly type shower stuff, 1/2 eith manly stuf....sports, tools etc...
Then they would both be receiving present....
this sounds like it might be fun? but MORE work, ya think?

Still stuck..any more ideas...wish I could do the outdoor party!

Thanks for all the ideas so far....there are some great ones!

 

[mepperson]

First thing you should do is talk to your brother - not your mother. Does he want anything to do with this shower? If yes, then there are lots of options.

My DH's brother ad SIL threw us a "Honey Do" shower for guys & gals. Guests brought things for us to use to "do" things for each other - lots of garden/yard stuff, baking stuff, household items.

I've been to boy/girl party where we were each assigned a different letter of the alphabet and our gift had to relate to that letter - lots of fun stuff for that! I was assigned the letter "Z" because they thought I was the only one who could handle it. I gave the couple a recipe for Zucchini bread, along with the kitchen/baking gadgets to make it (flour sifter, peeler, loaf pans, measuring cups/spoons, etc)

BBQ party is a great idea! As well as a "Party" party - where everyone bring items for entertaining guests (wine glasses, bar supplies, serving platters, etc.).

I wouldn't go "girly" with the prince/princess theme. Like I said at first - talk to the man. If he is not into it, then neither will the male friends be interested in coming! Make it manly and they will come.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I totally agree with talking to your brother about the shower. See what is his level of participation is going to be. My family hosted a couples shower for dh and I but it was warm outside and we also had a huge bbq and out door games.

Is your brother and future SIL going on a honeymoon? Do you know where? You could plan a party around that if it was like a beach theme or a cruise theme. Have festive drinks and hang little lanterns in your house and on the deck. Food wise if you want a big meal sort of thing how about a do it yourself taco bar? You could set out everything to make tacos or taco salad with chicken, steak or hb meat. In another area have a toppings bar and then for dessert have a cake or something different if the bride to be doesnt eat cake like maybe ice cream sundaes.

Another food suggestion is a pasta bar. Cook up a couple of different pastas and a few sauces and again another toppings bar. Or you could see about having some BBQ brought in from somewhere else in your town.

Good luck and hope your shower turns out well.

 

[cheerbop]

MORE great ideas! Thanks so much!!!

Again, it is too cold here for an outdoor party, which I am bummed about!

I was going to try and make this a surprise shower, but it sounds like I may need to talk to him.

One thought my husband had was to not make it a surprise for his bride to be but a surprise for my brother..telling just her it is a couples shower...??

OH! i don't know!

UGH!

 

[pooh4evr]

We had a huge couples shower (@100) for my brother this summer with a Luau theme- of couurse we had things set up outside ( bar, tables wading pools and a slip n slide (there group is pretty wild! ) We did not do any shower games other than attendance prize type things (pick a #) If you make it too girly the guys invited or not won't come! :One problem we had was finding good invitations because you want people to know it is a wedding shower (gifts) but that it is also a couples shower most things we have found were all flowery and too feminine for what we wanted! We are having another shower for my other brother in a couple of weeks with a Mardi Gras theme. I have also heard of people donig showers where guests are assigned a time of day and they are supposed to bring gifts the couple could use during that time? So I guess evening maybe pots and pans or dishes for cooking dinner? I have not been to one so I don't really know! OH at my one brothers party we had a cake made to look like a bottle of Budweiser Select it was awesome!! ( the bride gets the wedding cake so we wanted him to have something to rep himself)

 

[jennyL]

Ooh I love the Mardi Gras theme. Does anyone know right off when Fat Tuesday is this year?

For invitations we went to my local Hallmark and they have the loose sheets with lots of choices. We ended up using a pig. LOL it was really funny but we ended up working the whole Pig Pickin into our theme.

 

[mtemm]

Ooh I love the Mardi Gras theme. Does anyone know right off when Fat Tuesday is this year?

For invitations we went to my local Hallmark and they have the loose sheets with lots of choices. We ended up using a pig. LOL it was really funny but we ended up working the whole Pig Pickin into our theme.

Ash wednesday is March 1st, so Mardis Gras would be feb 28 this year.

 

[puffkin]

I also agree to ask the brother. My DH would not want to be at a wedding shower. He made the obligatory appearance at the end to introduce himself to people he hadn't met before and to offer thanks, but that was it for him. He had more fun helping register for the stuff. He said the same thing for the baby shower. He helped register and will help my mom get addresses and stuff, but he doesn't want to be involved at the shower. He will show up at the end and say thank you. According to him (and most men in our area) showers are for girls.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I'm with everyone else - I would steer away from the Cinderella/Fairy Tale theme - I think it may be too much girly girl for the guys! Here are some suggestions:

Stock the Bar theme - have each guest bring something to stock the new couple's bar, like wines, liquers, wine glasses, barware, ect.. Of course, this is if the couple like to drink or entertain!

Stock the Kitchen theme - everyone brings something to stock the couple's kitchen. Appliances, kitchen gadgets, towels, dishes - this one could be a lot of fun!

Jack and Jill theme - everyone bring something for the groom (bbq stuff, movies, poker stuff, ect) and something for the brike (home decor, lingerie, candles, ect)

Entertainment theme - everyone brings a game, movie, bbq stuff, ect.. Guests could also bring movie passes, tickets to the theater, resteraunt gift certificates and sporting event passes - anything so that the couple can have a great time doing something!

Tool & Gadget theme - garage tools, kitchen gadgets, anything can go here.

Great Outdoors theme - do they like to camp? Hunt? Bike or jog? Play sports? This would be a fun one to do if the couple is very outdoorsy.

Wine & Music or Wine & Cigar theme - guests bring wines, and label them so they have to be opened on certain anniversaries! Guests could also bring a music cd to go with the wine, or cigars if the groom likes to smoke them.

Personal Library theme - each guest brings a book to stock the new couple's library. This could be a LOT of fun, especially if guests bring self-help or how-to books!

Pajama theme - everyone brings PJ's, robes, lingerie, ect.

Bon Voyage or Honeymoon theme - depends on where the destination is!

I would tone down the "shower" theme, and label it more of a pre-wedding party. You might get more guys willing (and wanting) to show up. Make sure there's something for the guys to do so they won't get bored!

Hope this helps!

 

[JennInTN]

First and foremost, I would ask my brother if he wanted to be involved and if he thought his friends would want to be involved. What he would like. Guys do sometimes feel that they get the short end of the stick on gifts, so I'll second:
Honey-Do
Lawn/Garden
Stocking the pantry (or)Kitchen

Or try:
Around the Clock....Stuff you need for specific times of the day.
Cooking Class.. a chef from your area comes in and does a cooking class

You could pull off a luau inside if necessary and it could be fun.

What about a potluck of some sort? The couple keeps the pot/pan/dish/platter the food is brought in as well as the recipe for the specific food.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

I've only been to one couples shower and it was an Around the Clock shower. The invites said silly or gag gifts were fine and they got a few of those, like a box of cereal for 7:00 am, and one guy who had 10:00 pm got them two books -- the Joy of Sex for 10:00, and a baby name book for 10:30, Anyway, the male invitees who weren't used to attending showers mostly gave funny gifts, and that made it a lot of fun.

As others have said, discuss it with your brother. Good luck!

 

[jodifla]

We had a couples shower and it was a blast. But ours was a wine tasting theme. People brought two bottles of their favorite wine...One we opened that night to taste, and the other we put down to have later.

It was a lot more like just a fun party, and we had a great start on a wine cellar.