Wedding Rehearsal Dinner guest list?

[piratesmate]

I'm just curious. Does anyone know what the "standard" is for inviting people to the rehearsal dinner? If the rehearsal is at 6:30 & the dinner won't be until 8 or 8:30, is it expected that the flower girl would be invited & therefore her mother? What about the soloist, pianist, pastor, etc? And what about their SOs?

MIL didn't do this for us & I've never been to one. What started out as a small group of 15 has suddenly become 30!

Thanks

 

[Jenn Lynn]

We had everyone in the wedding party and their S/O. The Flower Girl and Ring Bearer came with their families.
I read somewhere that if you had out of town guests you were supposed to invite them, but that would have been all of our guests! LOL!
We did not invite the pianist etc. I would probably only invite them if they were relatives or close family friends. We did invite the Pastor to the Wedding reception, but he declined because he has a wedding almost every weekend!

 

[mtemm]

We had everybody in the wedding party plus their spouse/SO. I had a lot of out-of-state relatives that I invited as well. The musicians were not at the rehearsal, so no need to invite them. Did invite our priest, but he wasn't able to come. I think the total ended up to be around 35 or so. We had a great time...had it at a casual Italian restaurant (Papa Razzi) and did buffet style. Wasn't too expensive. We actually paid for it ourselves.

 

[mtemm]

found this article that might be of interest.

http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.h...keyword=REHEARSAL DINNER&channel=&subchannel=

 

[bsnyder]

I think it's proper ettiquite to invite all members of the wedding party, and those officiating at the ceremony. I've never heard that it's mandatory to invite the organist or soloist. For young children, you'd obviously have to include their parents.

Inviting out of town guests is optional, based on your budget. If you can afford it, it's a nice thing to do, but I don't think most people would expect it.

 

[piratesmate]

The only out-of-towner is one of the bridesmaids. Her husband will be with her & obviously needs to be included. It started getting weird when some, but not all of the bridal party's SOs were put on the list.

I'm a bit surprised that the flower girl would be invited. There's no way I'd take a 5yo to something that late. My kids could never have waited that long to eat & wouldn't have eaten enough to justify paying for them at that hour. Never mind that they'd be out until ~11 & have to get up early the next day.

Thanks for the input. I wouldn't have thought twice about it & just added the other SOs myself except that DH & I have been out of work for a LONG time. (Well, DH just started a new job the beginning of last month, but I still don't have anything....)

I guess I'll add the other SOs to the list & hope that some people won't come.

 

[snoopy]

ILs did exactly as Bet suggested for our rehearsal dinner - the entire wedding party and their spouses/SOs, including the flower girl and ring bearer and their parents (the ring bearer's parents were not in the wedding party though). We also invited the Priest, who attended (and proceeded to have just a FEW cocktails, but that is another story in itself. )

 

[mtemm]

It does not have to be a fancy affair! I've been to many rehearsal dinners that took place in homes. I can't imagine not being invited to a rehearsal that my dh was a part of, and vice-versa. Just make it simple...even just do pizza or a bbq. Our wedding was so formal, we really wanted to make the rehearsal dinner the exact opposite...kind of the anti-wedding. LOL!

 

[Fire14]

WE invited Officant, wedding party and SO's Ringbeaer and flower girl came only b/c their parent was there anyway. as for out of town guest we told them they were welcome to join us at their own cost

 

[Bildmouse]

When DSs' got married we invited the wedding party and their SO's and the priest and minister that were officiating. We had the rehearsal dinners at our house and everyone enjoyed it. It was very relaxed and they got to visit before the big day.

 

[piratesmate]

Thanks everyone! I appreciate all the responses.

We had already committed to a local restaurant at DS's request when we thought the list was only about 20. Our house would have been too small even for that crowd, let alone for the 30 we're now looking at.

mtemm - Thanks especially for the link! It was helpful!

Deb

 

[Pin Wizard]

We had just our wedding party along with us and our parents.

 

[Patabel]

For DD's wedding (just last month!), invited were the bridal party, their SO's, the flowergirl and her parents, the ringbearer (DSIL's son,,,now my new grandson!), grandparents and the priest. Out of towners were not included, because as others mentioned, that would have been just about everyone else! What was very nice is that the mother of the groom provided special gift bags for the two kids, with coloring books, crayon, markers, matchbox cars, etc. that kept the kids very entertained during this very boring adult event. We had about 35 folks.

 

[Gette88]

This stinks my MIL didn't have a rehearsal dinner for us. She waited until we were at the rehearsal and says very casually that we (no one in specific) could come back to her house for coffee. No one did to my knowledge. I was young at the time and didn't realize she was suppose to do something after the rehearsal. Coffee would of been fine if it wasn't so last minute. We got married in Aug. in Oct. DH's brother got married and his wife made sure MIL had a rehearsal dinner.

 

[skuttle]

We invited everyone involved in the wedding...bridal party, ushers, muscians (they were family), grandparents, parents, my mom's brother (not involved in wedding but her only brother), and since we had a catholic ceremony...the priest, readers (family) and the people bringing the gifts (family). The only child we had was DH's 4 yo nephew, and his mom was a bridesmaid so she was already invited. Oh...and everyone's SO. Our bridal party was small...only 8 people total and 2 ushers, so it wasn't too many people.

 

[LuvTigger]

I've been in several wedding parties and for all of them it's been the wedding party and their SO's, plus the bride and grooms parents, and the ring bearer and flower girl (if there were any) and their parents. I've never been to a dinner that late though, usually 7 pm at the latest.

Personally, I would invite the flower girl and her mother, but say you would understand if they couldn't make it because of the time of the dinner.

Always sticky, these wedding situations!

 

[DonnaS]

We were told we had the best rehearsal dinner that anyone had ever attended. LOL

We invited wedding party and their spouses. That was it. It was at a pizza parlor. We order a few pies, a couple of pitchers, and had a great time.

There was me and my DH (to be at the time)
My brother who walked me down the aisle
My sister who was my matron of honor (her husband couldn't make it)
DH's best man and best friend and his wife
Two more of DH's friends

Very small, very informal. Since my parents had passed on and DH's were divorced we just left them out of the whole thing. It worked for us.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

We got married two months after DH's best friend. At the friend's rehearsal party, no spouses/SOs were invited...that really irked me. Two months later, we invited everyone in the wedding party, spouses/SOs, including my 5 nieces (junior bridesmaids) and their parents, and the priest (who declined). My MIL did NOT originally plan to invite spouses/SOs OR my nieces parents, who were all coming from out of state...they (my 2 brothers and their wives) would have been dropping off the kids, and then going back to their hotel until they picked them up?? I was so PO'd, but got the point across to MIL through DH. (This was just a preview of our 19 years-so-far of marriage. )