Wedding Question......what to do?

[Pomlover2586]

DH and I are invited to a friends wedding in a little over a week. The wedding is on a weekday and at 6pm.

The couple getting married are friends with both DH and I, but not really close friends- the Groom is friends with my DH- used to work together about a year ago- they see each other once a week usually at guys game night. Bride-to-be is friendly to both of us, but not necessarily "friends" with either of us outside of group settings......we've NEVER hung out with this couple outside of a group.

DH wants me to attend the whole ceremony/reception......in order to do this, I'd have to leave work early in order to make it in time.

I'd like to meet him at the wedding after the ceremony for the reception.....I'd be able to finish work, and meet him there right around the time the ceremony ends- 6:30ish and stay for the entire reception.

Id like to know what you Diser's think- Without flames please......Just looking for opinions.

Should I take time off work in order to attend a distant friends wedding ceremony, or should I arrive a little late and stay for the rest of the reception.

In case it makes a difference, the wedding venue is at a location where I could make an entrance without being a distraction to the reception/wedding proceedings.......

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Since the bride probably wouldn't be devastated that you won't be there for her ceremony, I don't see a problem with meeting your DH after the ceremony and just going to the reception. In fact, I think I remember from my own wedding-planning days that many brides invite people *only* to the reception.

 

[mtemm]

in this case I'd see it as less about the bride/groom and more about the fact that dh would like me to be there. I'd weigh the consequences of leaving work early (will you have to make up the time? take a half day of vacation? simply go in a bit early/work thru lunch?) vs doing something obviously important for my dh.

good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[pyrxtc]

If no consequences to leave work early, then why can't you be there for DH ? he is the one who wants you to be there, not bride or groom asking you to do this. It's your DH and why wouldn't you do it for him ?

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Personally, I wouldn't have any issue with arriving just for the reception. As the previous poster said however, if it was important to dh that I be there, I'd find a way to get there on time.

 

[RachaelA]

I wouldn't leave work early for a distant friend's wedding. They must know not everyone will make the whole thing considering its on a weekday. That's the price they have to pay for making it on a weekday that is inconvenient for most people.

 

[luvmy3]

If it was important to my dh that I be there, I would leave work early. If he really didn't care, I'd just meet him at the reception, so I guess I agree with the pp since, I would be more concerned about how my dh feels about it and not so much about the bride and groom. Honestly, they aren't going to even know if everyone is in the Church during the ceremony anyway.

 

[Minnie*J*]

I know I am saying the unpopular thing but, I think you should go to the ceremony. I have never understood the whole only go to the reception thing. The celebration is about the marriage. The marriage happens at the ceremony. Guests should attend the actually marriage ceremony not just come for the free food at the reception. That is just my opinion.

 

[Nancyg56]

I would eave work early adn go to the ceremony. I imagine the bride adn groom would not mind if you missed it but your DH seems to feel strongly about it. That is what my decision would be based on.

I almost never miss the ceremony if I am invited but understand when others cannot attend.

 

[anniemae]

Honestly, I would just meet dh at the reception. I hate to leave work early and always feel guilty! I think he is fine representing both of you at the ceremony. Being that it is week day wedding, I'm sure you won't be the only one doing this. I'm sure the happy couple will appreciate you being there, no matter when you show up. We had a friend do the opposite for our wedding, he came to the ceremony, but could not make the reception. I was touched he made the effort to at least make the ceremony.

If it is really important to dh though, and you can leave work with no consequences, then it may not be worth the aggrivation and may be easier to just go the the ceremony with DH.

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

I would just attend the reception. If the B&G cared about thier guests being at the ceremony, they wouldn't have had it on a weekday.

 

[cheermom1]

Here is the thing it has nothing to do with the wedding itself but about you and dh. I would sit him down and talk to him about priorities and which ones are important to both you and decide if it is a priority to go to the wedding or stay at work. If you need the money or if your job is important or if you miss will you get in trouble? write pros and cons of leaving work early, I really don't think the couple will care either way as they know that a lot of people aren't going to make it b/c of the day they selected.

 

[clh2]

Personally - I would just got o the reception. I won't "pull in a favor" from my boss on really short notice, for a distant friend's wedding. I "need" my favors for important things...i.e. family dr appoitnments, the dog's vet appointments, school programs that happen during the day etc.

As far as using up a vacation day - I cannot take a partial day off. Plus - I would need to request a day off at least 2 weeks in advance.

It is a weekday wedding...I bet many others will be doing the same - i.e. skipping the ceremony and going to the wedding.

 

[Disney Doll]

in this case I'd see it as less about the bride/groom and more about the fact that dh would like me to be there. I'd weigh the consequences of leaving work early (will you have to make up the time? take a half day of vacation? simply go in a bit early/work thru lunch?) vs doing something obviously important for my dh.

good luck with whatever you decide.

I don't think there's an issue with missuing the ceremony except for the above.

Is it really important to your DH that you be there for the whole thing? If it is, then I think you should make the effort to do so, for him, not for the wedding couple.

However, if he doesn't truly acre one way or the other if you are at the ceremony,t henI'd probably skip it and just do the reception.

 

[Rora]

I don't think there's an issue with missuing the ceremony except for the above.

Is it really important to your DH that you be there for the whole thing? If it is, then I think you should make the effort to do so, for him, not for the wedding couple.

However, if he doesn't truly acre one way or the other if you are at the ceremony,t henI'd probably skip it and just do the reception.

 

[mking624]

If DH really wanted me there, I'd go. And even if it wasn't a big deal, I'd probably still go...because someone is paying for that reception and I'd personally think it was only decent for me to show them honor by attending their ceremony before going to the after-party. But that's just me.

 

[Cooky]

.

 

[EllaM]

Here is the thing it has nothing to do with the wedding itself but about you and dh.

I agree. The bride and groom have no idea who is at the church outside their close family and friends. Things are too much of a blur for them and they are too focused on things like remembering vows, not tripping or looking like an idiot with all these people watching, the "Oh my God what am I doing?" panic.

But it's really about your DH being there all by himself and feeling isolated or annoyed at you for abandoning him. You need to clear it with him.

I was once late to a friend's wedding. (Traffic snafus.) I wasn't in the wedding party but arrived at the church just as the bride & groom where exchanging vows. I stayed in the vestibule and watched as quietly as possible. The only one who noticed I was late was my sister (because she'd been looking for me).

 

[ksjayhawks]

Talk to your dh and explain to him that it won't work for you to leave work early, but that you will be there for the reception and will get to spend the whole night with him celebrating the couple's marriage.

 

[focusondisney]

But it's really about your DH being there all by himself and feeling isolated or annoyed at you for abandoning him. You need to clear it with him.

I bet this is why your DH wants you there. He doesn't want to be stuck sitting there all alone!!!

Seriously, I probably wouldn't leave work early for a distant friends wedding. I work in a hospital, so of course I have had to miss events or go late to things over the years. People understand when that happens. And really, even on weekends many people don't go to the wedding ceremony these days. I agree it is more important than the reception & I always try to go. But when I see how many people are at the reception vs. the people that were at the ceremony, its amazing.

So I guess just see if your DH would be more comfortable waiting for you to get out of work, then you could both go to the ceremony or reception together. Have fun!