Wedding Gift Question

[dani0622]

Hi all!

My BF and I just got a wedding invitation in the mail for a couple we barely know. Unfortunately, the wedding will be held while we are away in WDW in February. We would have gone if it wasn't though.

My question is, how much of a gift do you give when you don't go and really don't know the couple all that well? We were actually surprised to get an invite!

Background: I know the groom as he dated my best friend in college for about 2 years. I just became acquainted with him again last Fall because his fiance's son played football for the team my BF coached. MY BF only knows them as the parents of one of his players.

 

[ChrisAlli]

I would purchase a gift as if you were attending...I don't see the difference. Pick something they registered for that you would have normally picked, and have it sent to their home.

 

[snowywhite89]

Hi all!

My BF and I just got a wedding invitation in the mail for a couple we barely know. Unfortunately, the wedding will be held while we are away in WDW in February. We would have gone if it wasn't though.

My question is, how much of a gift do you give when you don't go and really don't know the couple all that well? We were actually surprised to get an invite!

Background: I know the groom as he dated my best friend in college for about 2 years. I just became acquainted with him again last Fall because his fiance's son played football for the team my BF coached. MY BF only knows them as the parents of one of his players.

When I know the couple well I give the same gift that I would if I attended.

If I know them like you describe then I pick a gift from the registry.

 

[krcit]

I would send $50.

 

[PixieTl]

amazon gift card! they are amazing gifts!!

 

[dani0622]

I guess the confusion coming in on my part is I've never not gone to a wedding I've been invited to and I've never been invited to someone's wedding I barely know.

If it was a good friend or family member, I come from the mindset that you give what you think the cost of the plate is. In NJ, this would typically be about a $100 a person, so a $150-200 gift. But if you don't go, you would give less.

update: They aren't registered anywhere!

 

[tomthebarncat]

If you don't really know the couple, and it is a destination wedding, they sent you an invite so you would send a gift. I would send a card and that is it! Sorry but I only buy gifts for people I actually know and like!

 

[dani0622]

If you don't really know the couple, and it is a destination wedding, they sent you an invite so you would send a gift. I would send a card and that is it! Sorry but I only buy gifts for people I actually know and like!

It's not a destination wedding (we'll be the ones away in WDW!! ).

It's funny you said that because my BF said when we opened it, do you think they sent this because they just saw us in the grocery store two days ago? We actually have never hung out with them or gone out with them. Nice people! I totally would though!

 

[jcc0621]

I don't send a gift if I am not attending. I usually put a nice note of Congratulations on the response card. When I got married, there were several people who responded no and no one sent a gift

 

[ICF]

I don't send a gift if I am not attending. I usually put a nice note of Congratulations on the response card. When I got married, there were several people who responded no and no one sent a gift

I'd agree....

It sounds like the OP really doesnt know this couple, based on her description of their relationship I dont think I'd really even call them "friends" at this time.

An invite (IMO) doesnt mean you have to send a gift. If that were the case, I'd have invited everyone I ever knew to my wedding!! Now if you were actually going to go, then you would need a gift but in this case I'd save the money and use it to have more fun at Disney!!

Seems like a gift grab to me.

 

[tink1969]

Yes, I agree with other poster's about not sending anything at all.
People who were invited to my wedding and didn't come didn't send any cards or gifts to us.
The only people I would send a gift to if I couldn't make the wedding, is a close family member.
Just RSVP back that you will NOT be attending, end of story. Especially since it's a couple you barely know!

 

[ksjayhawks]

You could send a card and enclose the rsvy card inside that.

Or, what I would do: rsvp no and not send a card/gift.

 

[katesorad]

I'd just send a $50 gift card for a restaurant or for a take out place, since when they get home from their honeymoon, they'll have a LOT to do, and cooking probably isn't on their mind! The gift card will come in handy for that time and they'll really appreciate it

 

[MommyJack]

I always thought it was proper to send a gift even if you can't go, but since you barely know them that throws a wrinkle in. I would say if you want to continue some kind of relationship send a card with $50.00.

 

[dislaney]

I would probably send a gift card to either a restaurant or store in the area. I would give the same amount as I would have given if I attended. You did say you would have gone so, in that case, that is what I would do.

 

[luvmy3]

Since you said you would attend the wedding if you weren't going to be in WDW I would send $50 GC to either a home goods store like Bed Bath & Beyond, or to a restaurant in their area.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

It's not a destination wedding (we'll be the ones away in WDW!! ).

It's funny you said that because my BF said when we opened it, do you think they sent this because they just saw us in the grocery store two days ago? We actually have never hung out with them or gone out with them. Nice people! I totally would though!

Being that you don't socialize with this couple, nor are they your friends, I would not feel obligated to send a gift.

I would just send them a nice card.

 

[Nennie]

I'm also from NJ, and would send $100 (and would have given $200 if I had actually attended).

Have fun in WDW!!!

 

[dani0622]

Thanks for the feedback everyone! I really like the idea of sending a gift certificate to a restaurant.

 

[pearlieq]

Being that you don't socialize with this couple, nor are they your friends, I would not feel obligated to send a gift.

I would just send them a nice card.

My thoughts exactly.

There is no obligation to send a gift.