Wedding gift(money) What do you think?

[Kmygrl73]

We are going to a wedding on Sat. for a coworker's daughter. There is a tight group of us at work that were invited and we have met the daughter before at different things so we do know her and like her. I am just trying to figure out what to give as a wedding gift. I was thinking $150 was good. Then my close friend at work mentioned that her and her husband(they have more money than us and no kids) were giving $200 because she knows that it is an extremely expensive wedding and open bar for a while. We haven't been to a wedding in a while and I wasn't sure what the right thing was to do. We are a young couple with 2 kids and I am sure they don't expect us to give a lot of money. Is it ok to give the $150 or should we just suck it up and give $200 so that we won't be embarassed?
Thanks for any opinions.
Kim

 

[rt2dz]

I don't think anybody would want you to give more than you can afford, or will be comparing presents. Give what you can afford. $150 isn't exactly cheap anyhow.

 

[mjbaby]

There was a verrrrrry long thread about this very topic not too long ago. See if you can find it- you might find it illuminating, everyone laid out their arguments pro and con for just about every amount going.

 

[SplshMtn99]

I must be cheap then, because I don't even give that much to relatives. But it has been a while.

Curious to see the answers others give, because we have a wedding in 2 weeks. They've lived together about 17 yrs. Owned a home for most of that time. And are about 40 yrs old. They say they don't want any gifts. Its a 3 day wedding weekend...and we did have to book 2 nights ($160 per night) at the bed & breakfast that its at out of state. The bride wanted everyone to stay there for the weekend since other events are planned too.

I really hadn't even given any thought to what (if anything) we were giving.

 

[Tinkerbelle32]

I think $50 is more than adequate. I don't consider myself cheap either. If people choose to have a big wedding and an open bar than that's their decision. Give what you can afford. I honestly think I would be embarrassed if someone gave me $150 for a wedding gift. Just my opinion.

 

[zumbergc]

If your not sure what to get the family.

A nice thing the bride would love, is a CD of all the pictures you took
that weekend. If you have a digital camera its a good way to go.
Its inexpensive, and we know you can't have enough pictures from your
wedding.

You could also make a donation to their favorite charity as an alternative to a gift. If they have been living together for a long time, I suspect they don't need much.
They said they didn't want anything. Pick out a great card, and write something special. Take a picture of yourself with the couple at the wedding, and send it later.

About the $150, I think that is a generous gift to the couple IMHO.

Connie

 

[sk!mom]

I don't consider myself cheap either. If people choose to have a big wedding and an open bar than that's their decision. Give what you can afford. I honestly think I would be embarrassed if someone gave me $150 for a wedding gift. Just my opinion.

I completely agree. It is not the responsibility of the guests to pay for the party. I disagree with that whole way of thinking.

You should give whatever is comfortable for your budget and not worry about comparing.

 

[sandy6879]

As someone who a. is CONSTANTLY being barraged with all my friends getting married b. getting married myself next year and c. a past bank manager who saw what couples who were newly married got as wedding gifts, here's my two cents:

$150 is generous in my opinion. A lot depends on where people are in life, if they have expenses that are being stretched thin, etc. I have seen couples deposit gifts of $1,000 and gifts of $10-25.

For my good friends, my fiance and I generally give $150. If we are friends but not GOOD friends, then we give $100.

As for my expectations, I don't have any. We have also been living together for 5 years and lived on our own for years before that. We are getting married next year and spending what I think is an OBSCENE amount of money on this wedding, but we live in CT and are going the cheapest route possible without sacrificing our comfort or that of our guests. I do not expect to "make back" the money we are spending on the wedding. Would it be nice to get some back as gifts? Yes. Then we would put it in a savings account. But I don't EXPECT it. Those that do, and there are MANY in this day and time, shouldn't pass that expectation onto their guests who are going to the wedding for one purpose - to celebrate their day with them. That should remain the priority for ALL couples to keep in mind for their wedding, not as a way to pay themselves back. Again....just my opinion....hoping no flames

 

[lbgraves]

I think $50 is more than adequate. I don't consider myself cheap either. If people choose to have a big wedding and an open bar than that's their decision. Give what you can afford. I honestly think I would be embarrassed if someone gave me $150 for a wedding gift. Just my opinion.

ITA with this.

 

[ceecee]

It's your co-worker's daughter, are you close to her? I think $50.00 is adequate.

 

[Kellydelly]

You could just go on their registry and buy a few things that add up to less than $100 and that would be a generous gift. A coworker's daughter doesn't rank high in my book. I am trying to figure out what to get dh's colleague for their wedding next month. It's his third and her first . I tried looking on their registry but it's so limited I can't even buy anything at all (except a pair of pillows!). I think I'm hitting crate and barrel and will barrage them with a bunch of my taste .

 

[shelly3girls]

I remember reading the thread earlier this summer. I think it really depends on where you live. I would guess that much of the Northeast is similar. Around us $150 would be considered a nice, appropriate gift ($50 was well below average 9 years ago when I was married). Some give more and some give less but you are definitely in the right range. We give good friends $200-$300 depending on if we have to travel or not. I would not give this amount to someone who was not a close friend though.

 

[MrsPete]

You should give the gift you wish to give, not an amount based upon how expensive the wedding is. I'd lean towards a gift instead of money -- that's what we Southerners do. Gifts are more personal, and they also don't invite the comparison that money does.

 

[scorpad99]

It depends on how much a plate they are paying. If it is expensive, 100 a person may not even cut it. But that is what the going gift is right now for the norm. JMO. We are going to my neighbors wedding , which will be MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING!!! LMAO and my daughter is a Jr bridesmaid, so believe me when I tell you its costing a small fortune between gowns, nails, hair, bridal shower gifts , bachelorette party,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,450 guests! Yikes! But I am so looking forward to it!!!!
Just think of it as a nite out and enjoy yourself, eat and drink 100 worth each! I`m sure its open bar so at least get your moneys worth!

 

[juligrl]

I think that 150 is more than generous of you. We must be cheap here since the most we've ever given is 50 (to family) and 25 (to friends). Most of our monetary wedding gifts were right in line with that as well. I usually pick up something nice off the couple's registry for the bridal shower.

I think $50 is more than adequate. I don't consider myself cheap either. If people choose to have a big wedding and an open bar than that's their decision. Give what you can afford. I honestly think I would be embarrassed if someone gave me $150 for a wedding gift. Just my opinion.

ITA! Wedding cost is irrelevant. If you were required to buy a gift then heck, the bride & groom should just charge admission. Seriously, if you're close enough to your co-workers daughter that you're comfortable gifting 150, go ahead. If 25 is more your style, go with that. Don't feel pressured into giving more.

 

[susancl]

Technically, a wedding gift is not required. You are being invited to a party to celebrate a wedding. A shower gift is required if you are invited and go to a shower (since that's the point of a shower).

An appropriate wedding gift is what you WANT to give. The gift has nothing to do with how big the wedding is or how much the family is spending for the party. In MA, a typical amount could be anywhere between $75 and up. We usually give $100 for a wedding gift.

 

[puffkin]

It really seems to be a matter of geography.

I live in Southeast PA. The average around here seems to be $50. Some give more, some give less, but that is about the average.

I too agree that the wedding costs should not matter. You are their guest, you shouldn't be expected to cover the costs of your meal/drinks. Give what you can afford.

 

[goodeats]

I think $150 is a very generous gift. We don't give cash, but usually our gifts are in the $100 range. We're in Southern California.

 

[bartleby1]

It definitely depends on where you live. I'm not real up on the going rate right now, but we usually give between $150 and $200, but that is for northern NJ where I know that things are much higher and IMO way out of hand. When we got married in 1992, I can tell you that the going rate was between $100 - $150 per couple, but that was 14 years ago. I'm not sure that my $150 - $200 gifts are within the going rate any more, but that is all we can afford to give.

 

[onyx8]

We are going to a wedding on Sat. for a coworker's daughter. There is a tight group of us at work that were invited and we have met the daughter before at different things so we do know her and like her. I am just trying to figure out what to give as a wedding gift. I was thinking $150 was good. Then my close friend at work mentioned that her and her husband(they have more money than us and no kids) were giving $200 because she knows that it is an extremely expensive wedding and open bar for a while. We haven't been to a wedding in a while and I wasn't sure what the right thing was to do. We are a young couple with 2 kids and I am sure they don't expect us to give a lot of money. Is it ok to give the $150 or should we just suck it up and give $200 so that we won't be embarassed?
Thanks for any opinions.
Kim

I am also from New England. Wedding gift amounts vary greatly depending on your region.

I was married last year, and my father's work friends gave us around $150-$200 per couple. $150 is definately a fair amount for the gift.