Wedding Food Issue

[ICF]

IMO, it's their wedding so they can provide what they want.....

HOWEVER -- IMO, they should have made mention on the reception card, that a Vegan Buffet or something along those lines would be served at the reception. I think expecting non-vegans to have to eat vegan food is rather rude if not known upfront. I know my family likely would have been ducking out for something else as well.

 

[Wishing on a star]

but you should also get over the idea that it should be your choice...... Don't be a 5-yr-old who throws his peanut butter sandwich back on the plate and says "but i wanted bologna!"

amen!!!!

 

[luvmy3]

I never said that they did not pay for the food.

You said that they HAD to.

They had no obligation to offer a dinner at all.

Um okay, didn't realize you were doing the whole 'what if thing

They did serve food, and they had to pay for it, so my original question still stands.

 

[ols386]

I'm not vegan but I bet I could find something on the buffet to eat.

I really wouldn't see it as a big deal that only vegan food was offered. It's the couple's wedding and their choice as to what is being served on the buffet.

 

[luvmy3]

Yes, sometimes we may have to do things that we don't really personally 'like'. I have tried to instill that in my DS since he was very little.

No, one does not have to chow down on something they find repulsive... And I fully agree, and would argue vehemently, that nobody has the control to force what goes into another person's body.

However, that does not mean that those who plan any function have to be sure that everybody's 'likes' are provided. That is like the parent who has to always make sure that little Johnny, who ONLY eats chicken nuggets, is always appeased.

If one is really that picky of an eater, again, that is one's issue, not everyone else's.

Of course nobody has to do do anything, however a good hostess would want to make sure ALL her guests had something they would eat. So, if you want to throw yourself an all vegan wedding, that is absolutely you choice, but if 99.9% of your guests eat meat, then its poor hosting IMO, to not serve at least one meat dish. YMMV.
And I don't consider it being picky, and if you are going to call it that, lets say teh same thing about the vegans, and vegetarians too. If they are too picky to eat meat, then that is their issue, not everyone elses (at their wedding )

 

[Donaldswife]

I just can't see how anyone (except for those who are hosting the occasion) could feel that they have any right to have any input or opinion on the menu.

We are such self-absorbed narcissistic people these days.
That old, 'all about me' mentality.

You see, I see this situation the other way and the bride & groom think it is all about them. I do not see receptions as being all about the bride & groom, the reception is a party for their guests. As a host, I want to make all my guests comfortable and make sure they have a good time, good food that they will enjoy, and make it a memorable event to celebrate my marriage. The ceremony, absolutely all about the bride and groom, the reception is a celebration and party thrown for guests and should be treated as such.

I think brides and grooms who do this are self-absorbed and narcissistic and should be thinking of their guest comfort first for the reception.

 

[luvsJack]

You see, I see this situation the other way and the bride & groom think it is all about them. I do not see receptions as being all about the bride & groom, the reception is a party for their guests. As a host, I want to make all my guests comfortable and make sure they have a good time, good food that they will enjoy, and make it a memorable event to celebrate my marriage. The ceremony, absolutely all about the bride and groom, the reception is a celebration and party thrown for guests and should be treated as such.

I think brides and grooms who do this are self-absorbed and narcissistic and should be thinking of their guest comfort first for the reception.

ITA!

They were very inconsiderate of their guests.

 

[dngnb8]

I think expecting non-vegans to have to eat vegan food is rather rude if not known upfront.

I find this a curious statement. Its not like asking a devout Muslim to eat bacon.

Its vegetable fare. Just because it has no animal products involved isnt like asking someone to eat something that is against their religion. So they dont have a meat, or cheese, is it really that big of a deal?

 

[mjkacmom]

Do people really eat meat at every single meal? Or even every single day? Actually, the menu sounds delicious! I think it would've been nice to serve some simple items for the pickier eaters, like some salads.

My dd has celiac - I know how hard it can be to find something for her to eat at parties. A nice green salad is her go-to dish.

 

[tlbwriter]

Of course nobody has to do do anything, however a good hostess would want to make sure ALL her guests had something they would eat. So, if you want to throw yourself an all vegan wedding, that is absolutely you choice, but if 99.9% of your guests eat meat, then its poor hosting IMO, to not serve at least one meat dish. YMMV.
And I don't consider it being picky, and if you are going to call it that, lets say teh same thing about the vegans, and vegetarians too. If they are too picky to eat meat, then that is their issue, not everyone elses (at their wedding )

If 99.9% of their guests hate the color pink, should the bridesmaids not wear pink dresses? If you don't get to follow your own taste when you are paying for the meal, when do you?

 

[si-am]

Do people really eat meat at every single meal? Or even every single day? Actually, the menu sounds delicious! I think it would've been nice to serve some simple items for the pickier eaters, like some salads.

My dd has celiac - I know how hard it can be to find something for her to eat at parties. A nice green salad is her go-to dish.

For real! I find it so strange that this many people are offended that there's no meat dish.

People, it's not healthy to eat meat all three meals a day, every day of the week!

 

[okeydokey]

They have every right to serve what they want at an event they are hosting and paying for. But did they really expect that the guests would not talk about the food among themselves? The guests have every right to not eat the buffet and grab something else instead.

If I were hosting an event, especially a wedding, I would not want the memory of that event in the guests minds to be that the food was horrible.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

If I did feel that strongly about serving vegan, I would have, at least, made sure that everyone was aware of it beforehand and would have found some way to take the focus of the reception off of the food.

The focus of the reception, IMO, should never be on the food in the first place, it should be in celebrating the bride's and groom's happiness.

And I don't get the whole thing about people should've been warned before, or comparing picky eaters to vegans, being picky and having different beliefs are two different things. If they didn't eat certain things for religious beliefs would that be considered "picky" as well.

And just because they've been vegan for *only* two months wouldn't make me feel that they should serve meat either. I went vegetarian basically over night, and if someone had told me I should serve meat to my guests, since I always had before, I would've told them they could have a party and serve whatever food they choose, but don't tell me what to serve at my parties.

 

[okeydokey]

For real! I find it so strange that this many people are offended that there's no meat dish.

People, it's not healthy to eat meat all three meals a day, every day of the week!

Most people would be agreeable to no meat, but this buffet didn't even have bread or cake. A vegetarian buffet could have worked well with a greater variety of foods.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I also hate that so many people seem to think that vegan food is gross, and some refuse to even try it. I've quit telling people what's in stuff, and after they tell me something's good, I'll tell them it's vegan, since if I tell them it's vegan before they eat it they usually won't try it.

 

[DisneyCher]

I wouldn't care either way, but if it is a strictly vegan spread, I'd like to know before hand, so I can make sure I have a snack or two in case I do not find any of it appealing. And I say this b/c I *have* had some very unappealing vegan dishes and overall find vegan food not to my liking.
Do vegans use soy/tofu in their meals? If so, some of my family is allergic to soy, so there is the possibility that we'd be SOL as far as a main dish was concerned.

 

[ccgirl]

Another family debate that has me going hmmmm ...

We were at my cousin's wedding on Saturday. We assumed that, since we weren't offered a meal choice, it was going to be a buffet reception. We were right. However, the buffet was all vegan fare.

Nobody, prior to attending the wedding, was aware that it would be vegan food. Several family members were ticked off and ducked out for fast food. They complained that there should've been offerings for non-vegans and, when you invite people to a wedding, you should take guests into consideration. I ate the vegan food and didn't mind it.

However, most of the family is split on whether the couple should've had alternate food for non-vegan guests or if, because it's their day, they can have whatever they want.

So, what's your take on this? I'll post a poll for you!

The majority of guests were non-vegan.

Sorry, their wedding their choice. Glad you went into it with such a good attitude. They are the ones paying for it. I'm getting so sick of the entitlement mentality. We are guests so we are entitled to the food we want. Um...they invited you to share in their special day not so they can cater to your every whim.

BTW, I never assume anything. The couple could have just offered one meal as well. For example, chicken. I wouldn't have assumed it was a buffet.

 

[Planogirl]

It's funny how people think in different ways. To me a wedding is all about the couple and not the guests at all. Sure it's nice to offer refreshments and maybe even a meal but I've had yucky food at receptions which were NOT vegan and I didn't feel insulted. I just joined in the festivities and then ate later on.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I wouldn't care either way, but if it is a strictly vegan spread, I'd like to know before hand, so I can make sure I have a snack or two in case I do not find any of it appealing. Do vegans use soy/tofu in their meals? If so, some of my family is allergic to soy, so there is the possibility that we'd be SOL as far as a main dish was concerned.

Sometimes, not always. I eat tofu maybe once a week, it's probably more like once every two weeks. I usually eat a lot of beans, quinoa, brown rice, and lots of veggies instead of soy-based meals.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

I am a pescetarian and if I would have my wedding today that is all I would serve. It is my believes and I am the one paying for the food. It is not the same to compare to people that do eat meat because almost always there is things that they do eat like salads etc. I have found that there are times where I can not eat anything because they have managed to put meat in everything in those cases I just suck it up. Since I change my diet I always make sure if we get invited to BBQ's, dinner, etc, I bring some salad or something to share. I always make sure there is something. Of course in a wedding a granola bar is the next best thing.

You are aware that fish is meat, correct? It's more than a semantic point, as meat is the edible flesh of an animal, so if you didn't know this, you should be aware.

I eat Chicken (white meat only) but no red meat, pork or fish. I don't like meat,pork or fish, hate dark meat chicken (the it is so slimy and rubbery) and I don't like turkey that much either. What really grosses me out about red meat is the blood that is there when you are cooking it-just skeeves me out. I will make it for company but you couldn't pay me to eat red meat!

FWIW, the red stuff in red meat isn't actually blood (of course what it actually is, i.e. myoglobin, isn't a whole lot less skeevy to those who already find it unappealing). That's not a snarky comment, just a clarification...

Anyways, as a committed omnivore who has dabbled with periods of vegetarianism (frequently, and pretty much every Lent at least), veganism (just a few times, to see if I could do it) and is generally most happy with a limited quantity of meat in my diet but not nearly as much as most people seem to desire, the menu doesn't seem all that limited. Certainly it was missing a few "traditional" offerings, such as the cake, but they are not requirements. It was the couple's day, and while they could have chosen to offer a more traditional entree (particularly for the children, if even just mac & cheese or something fairly simple), they did not and it wasn't the end of the world. A warning would have been nice, and probably would have been polite, but since it sounds like this was a recent evolution, perhaps it slipped through the cracks? Regardless, OP, it sounds like you handled it well.